


That Place That I Call Home

by somanyfeels



Series: The Cracked Streets and the Broken Homes [2]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AIM is also a bag of dicks, Alternate Universe, Amputation, Clint Needs a Hug, Deaf Clint Barton, Gen, HYDRA is a bag of dicks, Hurt Tony, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Tony Stark, Kidnapping, Past Abuse, Past Drug Use, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Clint, Protective Natasha, Team as Family, Tony Angst, Tony Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-02-14 05:23:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 54
Words: 105,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2179539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanyfeels/pseuds/somanyfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark has had a crazy year.  He was now 16, living with superheroes, dealing with his issues as best as he could, and enjoying his new family.  The team had moved to DC and settled in.  But everyone is getting a weird feeling from SHIELD and Tony's not sure if he can handle more stress.</p><p>Sequel to Coming Home Again</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stress how important it is to read Part 1 first. DO THAT!!!  
> Anyway, welcome back. Hope you all like it!

Tony awoke to the smell of chocolate chips and pancake batter. Damn, that was his favorite breakfast, saved for when it was a special occasion or if he was having a very bad day. He hadn’t been awake long and it was early enough for him to still be asleep so there was no way they would think he was having a bad day. In all honesty, he felt fine. This meant they remembered. Tony groaned loudly and climbed out of bed.

He muttered under his breath about how today was in no way a special occasion as he stumbled sleepily from his room and into the living room. He collapsed onto the couch with a whine. Clint walked out of the kitchen and pulled Tony up so he was sitting and plopped down next to him.

“Happy birthday, my beautiful child.” Clint smiled brightly. Tony just groaned again. He was hoping all month that they wouldn’t remember, they hadn’t mentioned it at all so he assumed it to be the case.

Tony hated his birthday, it was in no way a special occasion. Every year was terrible, Howard would be extra horrible, making sure Tony knew just how much his birth affected him, while Maria would just do her usual sleep all day. He had just gotten into the habit of ignoring the day completely, people noticed it less that way.

“ _No._ ” Tony moaned, signing because he knew Clint usually didn’t have his hearing aids in the early.

“We’re going to have a lot of fun today. We’re going to go to the Smithsonian, you love that place. Gonna have all your favorite foods. Then the rest of the team is coming over for dinner, cake, and presents.” Clint rambled on excitedly. Tony just shook his head.

Natasha came in and held out to him a plate piled high with pancakes. He frowned at it, he did love pancakes. He decided to humor them, eat whatever food they would let him have check out the Smithsonian, not because he wanted to but for them of course. However, he refused to blow out any candles or open any presents. Natasha handed Clint the little round orbs that he stuck in his ears to hear.

“We could just pretend it’s a normal day and do the whole celebration thing in a month when it’s the anniversary that I met all you guys. Today could just be May 29th, average day.” He said, shoveling forkfuls of pancake into his mouth.

“We will, but we also want to celebrate today.” Natasha said. She grabbed the remote off of the coffee table and turned on cartoons. “You’re sixteen today. Congratulations.”

“How did you guys even know it was today?” He asked bitterly, eating another large chunk of pancake.

Natasha smiled at him while Clint started laughing. He finished off his breakfast and Nat took the plate from him and kissed him on the forehead before going back to the kitchen.

“Are you forgetting we have you birth certificate, adoption paperwork, and so many other documents that have your birthday on it?” Clint said. “Now go get changed.”

He stalked off back to his room. When they moved to DC they bought a one story house, knowing that go up and down stairs would be terrible for his leg but it was still a rather large house. He changed into a pair of shorts and ghosted his fingers on the scars littering his upper body. The one on his left arm was deep and prominent, from where it had been reset twice and another surgery to take out the metal used to hold the bones together. Then he ran his fingers over the pale line running over his upper arms and across his chest from where he was tied to the chair. He circled the arc reactor on his chest before moving his hand down to tap at the shiny mark on his stomach left over from the bullet wound.

Tony thought about the year he had since his last birthday. It had its ups and downs. Mostly downs, like being kidnapped or living with his birth parents. By recently it has been mostly ups with being adopted my Clint and Natasha, moving to DC had been great so far, and he’s just been in a pretty decent mood for a while. Eleven months ago he met the Avengers and moved away from his birth family, seven months ago he was adopted by two master assassin superheroes, five months since his new parents got married, and two months since their big move. It had been an interesting year.

He pulled on his favorite Def Leppard shirt that was dark enough to cover the glow on his chest and walked slowly back out into the living room. Dummy wheeled after him in a party hat. Tony turned and gave the robot a light tap on the head. It danced around excitedly, as it always did, and darted off.

“We’re going to the Air and Space museum.” Tony said. “Mostly for the Space but birdbrain might enjoy all the Air.” Natasha gave out a soft chuckle as Clint began to glare at him and began muttering under his breath about how he liked space too.

“How are we even getting in? They have metal detectors and you guys always have weapons hidden on you and there is a hunk of metal in my chest.” Tony grumbled and sat down in between them.

“We’re two superspies and you are a genius. I think we can get in.” Clint shrugged.

They piled into the car, singing a bunch of songs about birthdays, and drove to the museum. Tony wasn’t sure what they did to the metal detectors but the passed right through without issue. Clint began to look appreciatively at the planes as Tony dragged them both to see the exhibits on space exploration and explaining the universe.

They stayed for a few hours, Tony completely engaged on the exhibits, Natasha texting quickly, and Clint bought as much food as he could from the concessions. They decided it was time to leave when he kept arguing with the curators over some of the planes and models of NASA vehicle models.

Tony climbed into the backseat and excitedly about everything he had seen while Clint shoved a hotdog into his mouth and climbed into the passenger seat. Nat drove them to the Chinese place he liked so much to pick up lunch.

“You guys are spoiling me.” He said as he was handed his carton of food.

“Of course. It’s your special day, you get whatever you want.” Natasha said. Tony smiled, he was actually having a pretty good day.

“Can I have my blowtorch back?” He smiled innocently. Agent Hill had gotten it for him for Christmas and he was trying to make a larger version of Dummy, he called it Butterfingers and it wasn’t finished yet. He needed that blowtorch but Clint confiscated it after he accidently set the table on fire. It wasn’t even a big one.

“No. You can’t keep that thing away from flammable surfaces.” Clint said, already opening his box of food. Tony grumbled quietly in the backseat. “Why do you hate your birthday?”

He looked up at them. Natasha was driving, looking mostly at the road but glanced quickly into the mirror to see him. Clint had turned around completely in his seat and was looking at him softly. He shrugged.

“Tony, you know they say it helps to talk about your feelings.” Clint said. “Whenever you feel like it.” He turned back around and continued to eat.  
They got back and Tony went straight for his room. He sat down at his desk in the large beanbag chair and munched on his food as his computer started up. The speakers hooked up to his desktop and the webcam turned on automatically.

“Good afternoon, sir. I believe today is the anniversary of your birth.” The computer said in its usual pleasant tone.

“JARVIS, new protocol. Never ever mentioned my birthday again.” Tony said as the computer accepted it without question, he noticed the computer cataloging the word ‘birthday’. The AI was a product of Tony’s boredom and curiosity. It had taken him months but he finally had a program on his computer that would listen and talk back. It was still a bit choppy and the voice didn’t sound real enough just yet so he decided to work on it for a few hours before dinner.

Lucky was asleep on Tony’s bed and Dummy was driving in circles happily, still wearing the party hat. He typed away trying to improve JARVIS and taking everything Dummy handed over to him. Within the few hours he spent on his computer, the AI was talking more naturally but Tony didn’t quite understand why it sounded British.

He put JARVIS onto the internet so he could search and learn before heading back out into the living room. He smiled as Natasha laid out bags of Taco Bell. Tony loved Taco Bell. He groaned softly at the sight of Clint frosting a cake in the kitchen with a frustrated look on his face.

“No need for cake. Nothing special going on.” He called out and reached into the bag of food, only to have his hand swatted away.

“Not until everyone else gets here.” Natasha said. “And you are very special. We’re celebrating whether you like it or not.”

“Well it was never a big deal before.” He muttered. Natasha pulled him into a hug and stroked his hair lightly. “God, mom. Stop.”

“No. I will hug you and tell you how important you are and always love you.” She said firmly. She pulled back and held his face gently. “Your birth is something to be celebrated.” Tony nodded, sighing. These people were too good to him.

Within the next ten minutes everyone else started to arrive, piling gifts on the kitchen counters so Lucky couldn’t get to them. The dog bounded out of his room with Dummy following behind quickly to greet everyone as they sat down in the living room.

“Young Tony, what a wonderful day for us all!” Thor said, sitting next to him and giving the boy’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “We are all most happy.” Tony looked up at him, confused.

“Really?” He asked. Everyone instantly started agreeing. He shrugged and reached for the bag of food, looking over at Natasha. She nodded and he unwrapped the taco.

They ate loudly, chatting about how they were all settling into DC. Bruce got an apartment on the edge of the city, Steve moved into his building because he heard there was a pool and wanted to keep the doctor company, and Thor moved into a house with Jane who was back from London. Cartoons played in the background as they all talked through the meal.

“Tony, you’re sixteen now and still watching cartoons?” Clint laughed.

“You’re like four times older than I am and I see you watching them.” Tony said. Clint made an offended gasp.

“Boys, be nice to each other!” Natasha said as she handed a present over to Tony. “From us, your amazing parents.”

He frowned down at the box. He really wanted to know what it was but he swore off birthdays and presents. But he did have such a wonderful day, all because they wanted to celebrate. As far as his past May 29ths had gone, this one was the best. He sighed slightly, fine, his best birthday.

“Better not be more dumbbells.” He said, glaring over at Clint. The man shrugged and waved his hand over the box, indicating he should open it. “It’s a new bow.” Tony smiled down at the box. Clint had spent months teaching him archery and he was finally getting good, but he didn't have his own bow.

“It’s the best one we could find without buying something from any secret government agencies that make weaponized ones.” Clint said excitedly. Tony patted the bow and looked over at Clint and Natasha.

“I love it. Now I can start hunting in the wilderness after the fall of civilization.” Tony laughed as Nat threw a pillow at him. "Thank you.” They smiled.

“Fan of archery?” Steve said, putting on a sarcastic voice. “I bet you can’t even name four of their songs.” He smiled, nodding at the joke. Tony let out a short laugh. He will forever regret showing Cap tumblr because now he constantly making jokes and doing them incorrectly.

“You should set it up and see if you can hit any targets later.” Bruce said, handing over his own present. Tony smiled brighter as he took the box.

~~~

“Happy Birthday, Tony.” Steve called as he started heading out the door.

“Goodnight! Get some rest.” Bruce said as he followed him.

Tony waved at them as they left. He was sitting on the couch, surrounded by his gifts and torn wrapping paper, eating his third piece of chocolate cake. Clint was picking up the dishes and gathering up the trash while Nat piled up his presents. Bruce had given him a microscope, determined to enhance his love of science. Steve gave him a bunch of old comic books. Apparently they were rare first issues of Batman so they were pretty awesome, Tony loved Batman. Thor gave him an amazing Asgardian dagger, to ‘fend off his foes’ and he thought it was amazing. Clint frowned at it, but let him keep it. Coulson and Agent Hill couldn't make it, but Phil sent in some old collector cards of Steve and Maria sent him a signed AC/DC poster. Tony loved all of it.

“Happy Birthday.” He said, pulling Tony into another hug as the teen stood up to head back to his room.

“Thank you.” Tony said. He bent down and picked up all the boxes everything was in. “It was pretty great. We should do this again next year.” Natasha smiled, reaching for Clint’s hand.

He marched into his room, Lucky following quickly behind him. He put everything down on top of his dresser. Moving over to his computer, Tony looked over his AI program. It had tripled its vocabulary and even started moving the camera he had attached to the top of his computer to look around the room.

“Hey, J. Today’s my birthday.” Tony said, smiling at the computer screen. There was silence for a while before it answered him.

“Sir, I am unsure of who ‘J’ might be.” JARVIS said. Tony chuckled.

“You are. It’s a nickname. Term of endearment.” Tony watched the coding on the screen as the AI cataloged ‘J’ into names for itself.

“Endearment is an expression of fondness or love.” It said. Tony nodded. “It is your birthday. However, you have requested that I not mention it again.”

“I changed my mind.” He smiled, changing into his pajamas. He collapsed onto his bed and snuggled under his blankets. Lucky jumped up next to him, curling his body against Tony’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People expecting more angst, maybe this fic is just going to be happy family bonding..... I would definitely do something like that.  
> Or, maybe more horrible things will happen to our young friend, I might do that.  
> As always, Comment because I love you and you love me (maybe)!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! Yay.  
> I start the fall semester in 3 days and my schedule won't be too busy. I will continue updating quickly but probably not every day after that.

Natasha had to leave for a mission a few days after his birthday. Tony didn’t know all the details, but it was a big deal every time she or Clint was sent on a mission because they are two of the most dangerous people on the planet so they do dangerous things, but Tony couldn’t help but always worry. This time she had to bring Steve so it must have been serious.

He couldn’t ask them to not go, they had to. It was their jobs. Also they had significantly shorter missions since they took him in, going from sometimes being gone for months none of their missions are longer than a week these days. He didn’t mind them leaving to do their jobs. What he cared about was them coming home injured or not at all.

Usually the fear that they would be hurt becomes overwhelming and he will then have very bad days and nights. Sometimes he would worry about them being hurt that bring up all his memories of him being hurt. This led to nightmares, which he hates deeply, and him having trouble sleeping.

That was exactly what happened the night she left. He couldn’t see, but he could hear familiar voices yelling at him. Tony tried to reach up to touch his face and will his eyes open but his hands refused to move. He started panicking then, feeling his heart beat faster and breathing more desperately. Tony began flinging his body as much as he could, which wasn’t much, as the angry voices came closer to him. He knew who they were, it was Obadiah Stane and Howard Stark. Two men he had nothing to do with anymore yet still haunted him.

Tony gasped awake he knew the hands curled around his neck to choke him. Lucky was in his face and sniffing at him, licking at his face. He raised his hands protectively over him as he glanced around the room. He named off everything he could, from his new poster to Dummy who was plugged in in the corner. He described them in detail trying to be more certain that he was here in his room instead of back with them.

“Sir, I believe you had a nightmare and are currently experiencing a panic attack.” His computer said. Tony jumped at the sound and buried his head into his hands. He shivered, feeling suddenly chilly. “Several websites on the matter recommend breathing deeply through the nose or going to a place you feel safe.” 

He grabbed his red blanket, feeling at the yarn, and wrapped it around him as he stumbled out of his room and down the hall. The door to his parent’s room was wide open. He could see Clint asleep on his side of the bed. Tony hated doing this but they always insisted that if he was having a rough time to come to them. He walked over and collapsed onto the bed next to Clint, who jerked awake at the sudden shift of weight. 

Clint’s hands ran their way through Tony’s hair as he laid curled up on the bed. His breaths still came in short, panicked spurts. He glanced over at the furniture and took it all in. He was definitely in his parent’s room. He could tell by the feel of the blankets all around him, the red glow coming off of their alarm clock, and comforting warmth of Lucky jumping up to lay between them.

“Are you okay, Tony?” Clint whispered to him. Tony shook his head, not trusting himself to speak and knowing that Clint probably didn’t have his hearing aids in. He was getting better about taking them out before bed but he was also forgetting where he put them a lot. “Do you know where you are?” Tony nodded, focusing on the hands stroking his hair. “Do you want to stay in here?” Tony nodded again. He knew that Clint would come out with him to the living room and watch tv but he really just wanted to lay down on his mom’s side of the bed and wait until morning to do anything.

Tony woke up again right around dawn. He could see light creeping across the sky through the window and feel his dog laying across him. He rolled over gently to see that Clint had fallen asleep again, drooling into his pillow. He carefully rolled off the bed, sill wrapped up in his blanket, and tiptoed out into the living room. He turned on the tv, volume down as low as he could and still hear it, and curled up onto the couch. He rested his head on one of the pillows and watched the cartoons. He rolled onto his stomach, watching the colorful characters dance across the screen. He groaned, unable to fall back asleep but still tired.

“Hey, Tony. How are you feeling?” Clint asked, walking out of his room. Tony sat up and nodded.

“Pretty good. Just tired.” He said, stretching. Clint smiled softly and went into the kitchen to start breakfast. Tony went to his room, changed and unplugged Dummy. The robot wheeled happily after him as he went back out to the living room.

Clint made omelets, stuffed with cheese and vegetables. Clint wasn’t great with all meals, but made delicious breakfasts. 

“Mom’s going to be fine.” Clint said, patting Tony’s shoulder. The teen nodded.

“I know. She always is.” Tony shoved more eggs into his mouth. “What’s on the agenda today?”

“Maybe work on your archery now that you have your brand new bow and you finished making me those Shock Arrows. Which are amazing, by the way.” Clint said excitedly. Tony smiled.

“Sounds good. Maybe if I keep practicing I’ll be a better sharpshooter than you.” He stuck his tongue out and laughed.

~~~

Natasha came back a few days later. She hugged them both and dragged Clint to their room. Tony made a disgusted face and turned up the volume on the tv. Dummy had the laundry on the floor as it desperately tried to fold it. Tony smiled even though he was on laundry duty and he’d have to wash it all later because it was the dirty pile.

Tony kept watching tv, noticing something between the bits of silence between commercials. His parents weren’t doing anything that would further traumatize his childhood. They were just talking. It sounded serious. He crept over to their door and listened intently.

“It was a SHIELD ship. Fury wanted the info it had. I think he may have planted the pirates.” He could hear Natasha saying. 

“That doesn’t make sense. Does he not trust SHIELD anymore? You think he’s been compromised?” Clint sounded worried.

Tony backed away quickly and quietly. He certainly didn’t like Nick Fury and he knew the feeling must mutual but he certainly didn’t seem like the kind of guy to steal information from SHIELD. Tony thought of that as his job, that one time. Fury certainly didn’t seem like the traitorous type.

He frowned as he picked up the messily folded clothes around Dummy, patted the robot gently, and headed down into the basement. He glanced around at the targets with dozens of arrows sticking out of them as he made his way to the washing machine. He piled in the clothes and soap before heading back upstairs. Clint and Natasha out of their room, discussing what to have for dinner.

“Hey Tony. I missed you.” Nat said as she jumped up to greet him. He hugged her again.

“Missed you too, mama. Anything interesting happen on your trip?” 

“Nope. Pretty boring except your Uncle Steve jumped out of a plane without a parachute.” Natasha said, smiling down at him.

“Again?” Tony asked, matching her smile. “He’s not being a very good role model for plane safety.”

Natasha made nachos for dinner after she took a shower and changed out into more comfortable clothes. Tony tapped away on his laptop while JARVIS named off possible nacho recipes. Clint was sitting next to him, asking question about the AI such as ‘Will it try to take over the world and kill us all?’ or ‘Why is it British?’ Tony answered as honestly as he could because JARVIS was still learning so if he wanted to take over the world it would be a while before his intelligence reached that high and Tony’s theory was that it just picked that voice randomly. 

Tony decided not to focus on whatever mess was going on in SHIELD and enjoy their family dinner. SHIELD will handle their business so Tony had no reason to worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay. Next chapter will start off the more interesting things.  
> Probably all good stuff.................  
> Comment, tell me what's in your heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, another chapter and it's so full of happiness and fun.  
> Love you all!

The three of them were leaving Dr. Larson’s office, Tony’s new therapist. Tony thought he was alright. Sure, he wasn’t Dr. Moreno who would give him candy and sit on the floor with him but he was nice. And he helped, Tony could now stand close to a chair without being overcome with anxiety even though he still refused to try sitting in one. Nat and Clint seemed to like him, saying Tony had continued improving after the change in doctors.

Tony got to pick where they got food from, it was a tradition every time he had to go. He picked Burger King, they had chicken fries again. He was allowed a single hamburger, one order of chicken fries, and a medium drink. They were successful in cutting back his fast food intake, not that it meant he was happy about it.

He started munching on his chicken fries, as glorious as they were, when Nat’s phone went off. She answered it and several second later gave Clint a stern look. He looked back at her, his face a mixture of confusion and worry. They were doing their thing, telepathic communication. Tony figured they developed it to talk on missions without actually talking. He looked at the two of them and Clint constantly glanced between the road and her.

“Alright Maria, we’re on our way.” Nat said, looking pointedly at Clint, who turned left quickly.

“Where are we going?” Tony asked. 

“The hospital. Something happened to Fury.” Natasha said. He frowned, looking between his two parents. Nick Fury seemed to be coming up a lot recently, and not in a very good way.

The drive to the hospital was a short one given how fast Clint can drive and somehow get away with it. Tony carried his bag of food into the waiting room with him. They told him to sit on one of the couches and wait as they both rushed off down the halls. Tony groaned, he hated hospitals. 

He finished up his food and followed the arguing down the hall. It was a hushed conversation but he recognized the team’s voices and they sounded upset. Tony walked down the halls, weaving in between nurses and doctors and carts of equipment until he found them all standing outside the OR. He ducked into an empty room close enough to the so he could hear but not be noticed. They always were trying to hide serious Avengers stuff from him, probably trying to make him more calm and relaxed but all it did was make him curious and sneakier.

“Why was Fury at your apartment?” He heard Natasha say, she sounded angry and confused. Someone gave a nervous sigh.

“I don’t know.” It was Steve, who was definitely lying. Tony waited for someone to call him out on it.

There was the sound of several pounding feet. Tony peeked out of the room to see several armed SHIELD agents confront the team. He slipped back into the darkness of the empty room and waited to see what they had to say. Fury must have seriously gotten hurt if a team of armed agents came to see him at the hospital.

“Everyone, given the suspicious nature of Director Fury’s death we’re going to have to ask you all to come with us and answer a few questions.”

“Well, can I at least drive my boy home first?” Clint said. 

“He’s coming with us. You can take him home after.” At that Tony walked quickly out of the room, the agents’ backs to him. The team saw him, pretending like they didn’t. 

Clint’s face grew grim, frowning deeply and looking between him and the door he just walked out of. Tony understood, he quickly returned into the darkness of the room and waited. There was some loud shuffling.

“Dr. Banner, we wouldn’t want you to have an incident here in a hospital.” Tony’s hands were shaking. Were they all being arrested? That couldn’t be right, they were the Avengers. 

“Fine, fine. Just stop grabbing me.” Bruce said. 

Tony slid down the wall and curled up as he listened. They were being arrested, by SHIELD. It didn’t make any sense. These guys were Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. He knew the team could take a handful of SHIELD agents but they weren’t. He saw them marching past the door. Steve looked at him quickly as they passed, letting something slip onto the ground as he went.

Tony ran out to grab it when they were gone. It was a flash drive. He stowed it in his pocket and quickly headed out of the hospital. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Clint’s car. He didn’t have his license yet, but he knew how to drive by the time he was twelve. He reached for the spare keys he knew Clint kept hidden the driver’s seat and climbed in. 

He felt his stomach drop immediately, jumping out of the seat. Cushioning a chair and putting it in a car doesn’t make it any less of a chair. It was that horrible thing he would get tied down to and then they would hurt him again. He sat down on the ground, breathing heavily. Tony looked around desperately, looking for anyone as he rubbed his hands on the pavement. He was in the parking lot, no one ever hurt him in a parking lot. 

Tony’s whole body shook, how could he forget what those things did to him? He focused on his surroundings until he calmed down. He stood up several minutes later, evening out his breathing as he slammed the car door. Tony decided to walk. His house was too far away, he’d never make it. Jane and Thor however lived just eight blocks away. He was sure he could make that.

By the time he reached their small house his leg was throbbing. He banged on the door quickly, rushing inside when it finally opened. Tony went straight for the living room, collapsed down onto the couch, and rubbed his sore leg.

“Tony, is everything okay?” Jane called after him. He gave a thumbs up and she sighed. “I told you, we’re not combining our strengths as an astrophysicist and amateur, yet genius, engineer to create intergalactic space travel.” Tony shook his head.

“Not about that, even though it would be amazing.” He said.

“Well Thor isn’t here right now. And whatever it is you could have had one of your parents drive you, you know your leg bothers you if you walk too far.” She said, walking into the kitchen to grab a water bottle and bring it back to him. He took it thankfully. He hadn’t noticed how thirsty and exhausted he was.

“That’s what I came to talk to you about.” Tony said between gulps of water. “Not the leg, I know it’ll start hurting. That’s the problem with being shot in the calf. Thor and everyone was brought in by SHIELD. Apparently something serious happened and they’re being questioned.” 

Jane sat down next to him, looking him over with a frown. She pulled out her phone and put it to her ear. After waiting several seconds she put it down with a sigh. Thor wouldn’t answer his phone, not because he didn’t know how to work it. He figured that out but he was currently under arrest being questioned.

“SHIELD did? Not surprised, I never trusted them. Not since they stole all of my research. Sure, they gave it back but it wasn’t theirs to take.” She said angrily. Jane looked over at him sympathetically. “You can stay here until they get out. Not much they can do to contain Thor.” Tony nodded.

“I actually just need a ride home.” He said.

Jane was wonderful, Tony liked her. Not only did she enjoy rambling about space science but she also helped him when he needed it. Right now it was giving him a ride home, for which he was grateful because he could sit in one of the front seats and he couldn’t keep on walking for much longer.

The house was empty, except for Lucky who ran up to meet them, he liked Jane too. Dummy was in the corner reorganizing their dvds. The robot waved at them as they passed. Tony let the dog out into the backyard and went to his room. He looked over the flash drive closely and continued to glance at his desktop.

“I probably shouldn’t. Stevie didn’t trust SHIELD with it so it must be full of top secret information.” Tony said. He looked over at Jane who was looking at his like he was being ridiculous and she was waiting. “You’re right, let’s see what’s on it.”

Tony sat down in the beanbag chair he kept in front of his desk and plugged it in. He pulled his keyboard into his lap and opened the drive. Whatever super-secret information was hidden was going to be difficult to locate due to some sort of AI reprograming the whole drive. 

Jane’s phone started ringing, playing some hiphop song he didn’t know. Tony turned to look at her. “I don’t know how to change the ringtone on this thing.” She said, answering it. “Hey Darcy. What? No, I’m a bit busy right now and don’t have time to hear about the awesome car chase you saw on the news. I’m…..babysitting.” She continued the discussion while Tony noticed the homing program. Great, they’ve been traced.

He could shut it down but whoever made the drive probably already knows where they are. Tony decided to just trace the location the drive was made since he probably didn’t have enough time to shut down the AI and find the super-secret information that’s stored on it.

“You might want to take off.” Tony told Jane.

“What? No, I’m not leaving you here.” She said. Tony stared at her. “Fine, but you call me every hour until they get out.”

Before she left she brought the dog inside and gave him food and water while Tony continued working on the drive. When he heard the sound of car doors being slammed and someone running up onto his porch he grabbed the flash drive out of his computer and stashed it in his shoe.

“Is there a problem fellas?” Tony said, stepping out of his room. He raised his hands immediately as the men grabbed for the guns. “Hey hey. Everything is fine, no need for all of that.”

He recognized them, they were the SHIELD agents that took the team. So they were the ones tracking the drive and Steve didn’t want them to have it? One of them stepped forward, grabbing Tony and slamming him against the wall. His breathing picked up as they handcuffed him, he really didn’t like not being able to move his arms.

Tony was arrested and taken to SHIELD headquarters. He was locked in a room, sitting on the table one of his hands were cuffed to while he was once again being interrogated. Tony groaned loudly, he hated being interrogated.

“Mr. Stark, where is the drive?” The suited man asked. Tony just shrugged. He was in too deep now and if Captain America left something to him in secret he wasn’t going to tell anyone. Except Jane, because she is cool. “This is a very serious matter. The flash drive could potentially be dan-.”

“I’ll handle this.” Agent Hill said, walking into the room and dismissing the interrogator. She sat down across from him with a faint smile on her face.

“I don’t have it.” He said. “But you can get flash drives really cheap at Walmart.”

“Oh, of course you don’t have it.” She said. Tony studied her face, she was up to something. Maria reached over and uncuffed his hand. “That’s why we’re letting you go. Your family will meet you in the east elevator. Have a good day.” 

Tony gave her a quick hug once he was free and sprinted out of the room. He made it to the elevator and waited. He didn’t notice the team run up until he was lifted off the ground and into a hug by Clint and Natasha. Everyone started piling into the elevator when more agents started running towards them.

“Tony, did you find anything?” Steve asked.

“Well, I didn’t get much except someplace called Camp Lehigh in New Jersey and the name Armin Zola.” Tony said. He reached into his shoe and pulled the drive out, handing it over to the man. Steve frowned down at it.

“You sure?” Tony nodded.

Clint and Natasha looked between the two of them as the elevator made its way down. “Steve, did you send my son to gather information while SHIELD is going haywire?” He said, raising her eyebrows.

“No, I just left him with the thing and he did what he wanted.”

“You’re grounded.” Clint whispered to Tony.

When they arrived on the ground floor they were met with several armed agents, all pointing their weapons at them. Bruce grabbed Tony and pushed them into a corner of the elevator while everyone else jumped out. He covered his head and the loud sounds of gunshots. He was certain they were shooting at him and maybe this time they would actually kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, been getting a lot of questions. Sorry, my friends, I can't tell any spoilers. Nope.  
> Don't let that stop you from commenting.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I start classes tomorrow. I only have them between 1-4pm everyday but friday (no classes then because I like doing nothing)  
> Probably have enough time for writing but probably won't be updating as often probably.  
> I still love you guys.

Tony couldn’t move, didn’t want to because he was certain that if he did a bullet would find its way to him. He really didn’t like gunfire, it may be due to the fact that he was shot twice and caused him to have a very bad time. It also could be because he shot two people and felt really bad about it and also caused him to have a very bad time. So he stayed where he was, curled up in the corner of an elevator with Bruce trying to calm him down and the sounds of fighting and gunfire in the background.

He just gripped at Bruce’s shoulders, incapable of hearing everything he was saying and just trying to pull him into the his corner of safety as well. Bruce looked around before picking Tony up completely. He desperately tried to kick himself out of the man’s arms as he handed him over to Clint.

“Tony, we have to leave now so please stop fighting.” He said calmly. Tony clung to Clint’s shirt. “You’re safe, all the bad guys are gone. Okay?” There was a moment of hesitation before he nodded.

He followed quickly behind them as the team ran towards the large parking garage. Everyone climbed into a random van, Natasha in the front seat hotwiring it. Tony focused on calming his rapid heartbeat and frantic breathing as he climbed into one of the rows of wide seats. Thor’s giant hands reached out to gently rub his back as Tony buried his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees.

“So… what is happening?” He asked as the van jerked forward.

“Well, SHIELD is attacking us, I’m going to New Jersey, and we think Fury was taken out by somebody known as the ‘Winter Soldier’.” Steve said, glancing over at Nat as she nodded.

Tony frowned. He heard of the Winter Soldier. He just couldn’t figure out where or when. The guy, or girl, was definitely something SHIELD related because everything at the moment was SHIELD related. Then it hit him.

“I think I read something about him when I hacked SHIELD last year.” He said softly. Everyone’s eyes turned to him, Nat glancing up at the rearview mirror to check on him.

“What did it say?” Natasha asked quickly. Tony shrugged.

“I don’t remember. It _was_ a year ago and I was a bit busy with something else.” He said, rubbing his face over his hands. “I just know SHIELD had some stuff about him, or her, and it seemed pretty important.”

Everyone looked a bit nervous then, Thor had confusion mixed in. Tony looked between all of them. He didn’t like how tense Clint had grown, staring him down with worry or how tightly Natasha gripped the steering wheel. Everyone else just sat in silence and looked anxious.

“So… is SHIELD… after us?” Tony said, looking down at his hands as his heart continued to beat a mile a minute.

“Looks like it.” Clint said. Tony could see the angry all over him. His stomach clenched, this was the angriest he had ever seen him. “We’re going to check out Jersey, you’re staying here with Bruce. We shouldn’t be gone for more than a day or two.”

Tony’s jaw dropped suddenly. Not that he didn’t like hanging out with Bruce, his science buddy, but this was the first time both Clint and Nat took off for something serious. What if something happened to them? What if this Winter Soldier guy, or girl, attacked them while they were out? What if SHIELD arrests them again and lock them away where they can’t get out?

Then Tony started thinking that this was the perfect moment to just ditch him and leave. They stuck around for a while, put up with him, and now they couldn’t take it so they were leaving. Sure, they said they were going to come back but what if they didn’t want to and just stayed gone?

Tony shook his head, now wasn’t the time to start thinking like that. He knew his mind well enough to know when it was telling him the wrong things. They were always there and always promised to be around to take care of him. If they needed to leave for a little while to do something important then they would come back.

“You guys will be safe?” They all nodded.

“That sounds fine. I’ll take care of him.” Bruce said softly. “One problem though. Where will we go? SHIELD has all of our addresses.” The team paused for a moment. They haven’t set up safe houses yet.

“I know a place.” Steve said.

~~~ 

“Thanks for doing this, Sam.” Steve said when he let him into the house. “You won’t have them for long.”

Sam nodded looking around at everyone. Tony and Bruce were sitting on his couch, Clint was scanning the house and the surrounding area for any threats, Thor was in the kitchen eating, and Natasha stood right by him and Steve.

“It’s all good. If the Avengers need people to crash here I am okay with that. You want the Hulk to stay, that’s just fine.” Sam said, standing just outside his living room. He smiled at Natasha, who he remembered from when she picked Steve up. “Not sure who the kid is but I like kids.”

“Oh, that’s Tony. My kid. So when I get back I expect him to be in the same condition he is in now.” Natasha said. She gave him a stern look. “You know who I am, right?”

“The… Black Widow?” He asked, Nat nodding quickly.

“Yes and over there, the man looking in your vents, that’s my husband Clint. Hawkeye. Tony’s dad. I once saw him kill a man with nothing but an unsharpened pencil.” She said, smiling wickedly. “He has to go to bed at ten, wake up around eight, he’s on a high carb diet to help with his sleeping, if he wants a bedtime snack give him low-fat yogurt, do not touch him around the neck, if he has a bad night he’ll probably just sit on the couch and watch tv. He usually likes company but Bruce is here and he knows him so it shouldn’t be a problem.” Natasha said, listing off almost everything Tony might need. Sam nodded, confused and slightly frightened.

“He’ll be okay. I promise.” He said, looking at Steve.

“Don’t worry, Natasha. He’ll be here with Bruce. He knows how to take care of him.” He said, patting her on the shoulder. She nodded and walked into the living room to give Tony a goodbye hug.

Tony hugged everyone before they left, Clint assuring him that the place was clear and safe and that he sent someone he trusted to pick up Dummy and Lucky as he held him tightly. After they left, he returned to the couch. He felt exhausted and it had been a long day. Sam went to the kitchen to make dinner while Bruce went through the video games. He picked the Sims 3 and let Tony design that characters. Two striking young men with dreams of being international spys.

“I made spaghetti. If you guys like that. It has cabs in it and that was one of your mom’s rules. I don’t have any superhero foods, if that exists at all.” Sam said. Tony smiled, he loved spaghetti.

The three of them gathered into the kitchen, table already set. Tony grabbed his plate and sat up on the counter to eat. Sam gave him a curious look before sitting down at the table.

“What do you do?” Tony asked, shoving a fork full of pasta into his mouth.

“I work with traumatized veterans at the VA. Before that I was in the Air Force.” Sam said, smiling between them.

“I friend, Rhodey, joined the Air Force. He says he’s having a great time.” He said as he wiped sauce off of his chin with the back of his hand. “Where did you meet Steve?”

“We were jogging in the same place. He was showing off by going faster than a jet.” Sam said, laughing.

“Maybe he likes you.” Tony shrugged. Bruce held in a chuckle while Sam’s eyes widened.

“Well, I have to say that at first I was into your mom but it looks like she’s married with children. If Cap’s interested let me know.”

“I’ll ask him once this all blows over.” Tony said. Sam raised his glass to him and laughed.

Tony yawned. It wasn’t nearly time for him to go to sleep but had a very long day, what with his therapist always getting him to talk about stuff he hates and going to the hospital and the lovely adventure with SHIELD. Sam pointed him to the guest room where he immediately collapsed on the bed, kicking off his shoes.

It was soft and comfortable but he couldn’t fall asleep. Sure, he was tired but also worried and scared. So much had happened during the day that he was afraid of what he’ll dream about.

“Your bedtime isn’t until ten. It’s barely seven.” Bruce said in the doorway. Tony gave him a thumbs up, not bothering to lift his head.

“Not sleepin’, just chillin’.” Tony muttered into the pillow. He curled up into the blankets and closed his eyes.

“You shouldn’t mess with your sleep schedule, Tony.” He ignored him.

Tony let out a sigh as he heard Bruce’s footsteps walking away. He was willing to just lay here in bed even if he couldn’t fall asleep. He knew everyone will probably be back tomorrow. Then they could all go back home and be normal again. The thought almost made him laugh. Nothing was ever normal for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaay, I love Sam. He'll stick around.  
> Will continue to add characters and tags as they happen to avoid spoilers.  
> Comment, it really does make my day when you do and I be happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First day of classes went well. Now onto the second.  
> I'm taking a creative writing class, they're making me write poetry....

Tony didn’t end up sleeping at all that night. He was too overcome with worry, anxious of what was going to happen. He heard nothing from them after they left. No text, email, phone calls, or anything. Eventually his mind started wandering to think about all the terrible things could have happened. 

He laid in bed, sunlight drifting through the window, and continued to contemplate what could have happened. They could have died, or maybe just decided not to come back. Tony groaned as he rolled over in the bed. He couldn’t think like that, had to stop all the negative thoughts and try to think about positive things. They probably just found something interesting in New Jersey and were busy. They were fine.

“It’s eight. You’re very scary yet attractive mother says you have to get up at eight.” He heard Sam say in the doorway. He pretended not to hear and continued going over what may or may not be happening.

He heard the footsteps walk away, breathing a sigh of relief. He was determined not to move until they were back and he knew each of them were safe. Even Thor, who might just be indestructible. Well, on Earth anyway. Tony was torn from his thoughts as he was gently lifted off the bed. He made the most frustrating noise he could manage and tried to wiggle out of Bruce’s arms.

“Nope. You know the rules, you’re not allowed to lay around all day.” He said, carrying Tony to the couch.

Tony curled into the cushions after he was placed down. He huffed in annoyance. They never let him do anything, or nothing actually. He wanted to do nothing and he didn’t see anything wrong with that.

“What are you thinking?” Sam asks, handing him a plate piled high with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Tony took it and smiled.

“I’m thinking ‘Fuck yeah, bacon.’ Last time I had bacon was on the Bacon & Cheese Quarter Pounder they let me get from McDonald’s a few Fridays back.” He said as he plopped a few greasy strips into his mouth.

“Okay, then how are you feeling?” Sam asked then, frowning slightly.

“Fine.” Tony replied as he shoved forkfuls of pancake into his mouth. Fine was short for on the verge of panicking and not in a good mood at all. But hey, fake it ‘til you make it. “Feel pretty good.”

Bruce just gave him a look, Tony would describe it as a ‘bitch face’ but not verbally. That would be rude. Sam just nodded and went to the kitchen, returning with several glasses and a large jug of orange juice. Tony reached forward and grabbed the remote, it was Saturday. The good cartoons were on Saturdays.

After several hours of cartoons Tony had yet to get up to do anything besides go to the bathroom. Even then he would just come back and collapse back onto the couch. Eventually Bruce had enough and decided it was time for an outing. The teenager groaned the whole drive to the park.

Sam ran off to play catch with several people and their dogs, Tony figured he would love Lucky. He was content just sitting on a bench in the sun and people watch but Bruce had dragged him up and made him walk the trails.

Tony figured that since he hadn’t been doing much walking and standing that day he had a little while before his leg reached an unbearable pain. It wasn’t even hurting at the moment. Still, it didn’t stop him from complaining the whole time.

“You know you can stop complaining about being outside in nature and talk about what’s really bothering you.” Bruce said. Tony shrugged, trailing behind him and kicking up the dirt.

“That’s just what’s bothering me. Nature. Humanity is coming so close to perfecting the great indoors.” Tony mumbled sarcastically. Bruce chuckled softly, shaking his head.

“How about secrets for secrets.” He suggested. Tony stopped to contemplate it. It sort of became a thing everyone did when Tony started feeling low and refused to talk. He’d tell them what he was thinking or how he was feeling and they would tell him one of their secrets. Most of the time he loved it, got to know more about ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’ and once he got whatever off his chest they started making him feel better.

“How big of secrets?” He asked. Bruce just shrugged. “Fine, Green Giant. You go first.”

Bruce smiled at the nickname. He was in no way associated with frozen vegetables, but Tony had a way of just associating him either with green things or science things. He didn’t mind. He was too busy trying to think of something to tell Tony that would be important enough to make him comfortable about spilling his own thoughts.

“I was in High School, asked this really pretty girl to Prom. I wasn’t very popular, just quiet and angry and other teenage stuff. So imagine my surprise when she says ‘yes’. I went all out, rented a tux, a limo, even put on cologne.” Bruce said.

“Whoa, cologne. That’s big.” Tony smiled.

“I know.” Bruce said. “So I go to her house to pick her us. Turns out she already left with her other date. I did get a lovely muffin basket though with a card that said ‘No time to call, going with Nick.’” Tony frowned at the story.

“Then what did you do?” He asked. “Egg her house? Leave a flaming bag of dog poop outside her door? Steal her dog?” 

“What? No! I went home, binge watched Star Trek and ate the muffins. They were delicious.” Bruce said, looking at Tony. “Don’t do any of that to anybody. You have to be the better man. Revenge doesn’t get you very far.”

“Okay, okay. Most of that was joking. No need to lecture.”

Bruce waited for Tony to say something more. They continued to walk down the trails in a few moments of silence until he just stopped, turning around to face the boy.

“It’s your turn.” He said softly. Tony just groaned.

“No way. Your secret sucked.”

“No it didn’t. It was a very big moment for me.”

“I want to know about the deep stuff. Come on, you’re like yoga master tea brewer.” Tony said. “You know about deep stuff.”

Bruce didn’t say anything. He did have a lot of serious moments. If Tony wanted to know about something like that then he must really be thinking of some not okay things. Bruce could tell him about his dad, but that was a touchy subject and he didn’t want to accidently get too angry. He could talk about the accident that left him with the other guy, but he already talked about that with Tony when he was too scared to come out from under his bed. Bruce told him about that and Tony talked about how he was scared about what would happen when Howard was released, in almost two years.

“I was in Brazil. I had an incident and a lot of people got hurt. I started thinking that no matter what happened I’ll always end up hurting people. I figured the world would be a lot safer without me.” Bruce said. “Everything is better now, though. I have friends, a family. People who aren’t scared of me. I can control it better and I’m actually helping. I don’t think like that anymore.”

Tony listened in silence, starting to walk further up the trail. Bruce didn’t know what he was thinking but certainly that was enough to get him talking. They continued for a few more minutes. Bruce was starting to wonder if he would ever start talking. He opened his mouth to say something when Tony spoke.

“I’m afraid.” Tony said, looking straight down the path. “I feel like I owe you guys. I mean, all of you guys. You saved me. I don’t know what I would be doing now if I hadn’t met you all.” He paused for a few more seconds, contemplating. Tony wasn’t quite sure how to put his feelings in to words, but he promised to try. “I sent them to New Jersey. I found that stupid location on the stupid flash drive and they all had to go investigate. What if something happens to them while they’re out there?”

“Tony, very big things are going on and we have to figure out what so we can fix it. You did an amazing thing. You figured out a clue to what is going on so that when we got out we can work faster. You did us a favor.” Bruce said, squeezing Tony’s shoulder gently. “And trust me, I’ve been working with these guys for a while. It better be time traveling aliens stronger than Thor to be able to hurt them.”

Tony nodded, feeling slightly better. Of course they’ll be okay. He just worried too much. His leg was beginning to hurt so they turned around and headed back. Tony walked a few steps ahead of Bruce, humming slightly. He didn’t really know why he wanted to hum, he was stuck outside in the horrible nature.

“We should go for pizza lat-.” Tony said, cut off be a large crash and Bruce being flown a few feet away.

Tony dropped down immediately, pressing himself against a nearby tree. Something hit Bruce, and judging by how he was convulsing, he wasn’t going to be Bruce for long. He wasn’t scared of the Hulk, even if he was coming out on accident so Bruce won’t be able to control him well. Tony was scared of whatever just attacked Bruce. He didn’t see what it was, where it came from, or if it was anything serious at all.

The Hulk let out a roar, startling everyone in the area, and began tearing apart the tree line. Tony didn’t know if he should go find Sam or wait for the Hulk to calm down. The Hulk was hit again, being fired at from the opposite direction and ran off after it. Tony looked around desperately for anyone at all. People were running, as far from the trail of destruction left behind. He saw Sam, looking desperately in every direction. Tony made eye contact with the man and ran for him. 

“What the hell happened?! Why is the Hulk tearing apart the park?” Sam said, grabbing Tony’s arms to pull him close.

“I don’t know. Something hit him and he got knocked away and now he’s the Hulk.” Tony said quickly. Sam frowned and nodded.

“Let’s get out of here.” He said, pushing Tony in front of him. 

Tony kept looking back at the Hulk, he wasn’t smashing everything to bits. From this distance it looked like he was chasing something. Tony didn’t know what to do. The Hulk had never hurt him or even tried to. Maybe if he goes over there he could calm him down. 

He was pulled from his thoughts by being quickly grabbed and jerked to the left. Whoever was holding him gave a swift kick to the center of Sam’s chest, causing him to land roughly on his back several yards away. Tony tried to jerk away but the hand gripping his shirt was strong and unmoving. He reached up to grab the stranger’s arm, never taking his eyes off Sam who was still lying on the ground. 

Tony shopped when he grabbed the arm to pull it off of him, it was metal. He looked up quickly as he was dragged away towards the parking lot. The man who wouldn’t let him go had shoulder length brown hair, face covered in a creepy mask, and a huge fucking robot arm!

“Let me go!” Tony yelled, kicking at the man’s legs and tried to wiggle out of his grasp. Wordlessly, he was lifted off the ground and thrown over his shoulder. He just kicked and screamed more as they stepped up to a black armored truck. He couldn’t do this again, he did not want to go with these people.

The back of the truck burst open as several people jumped out and grabbed Tony. He kicked and punched at them too as they threw him into the vehicle and had one hand cuffed to a railing on the side of it. Tony jerked away from them as they climbed in a drove away, him desperately trying to pull his hand from his restraint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOH. Poor Tony.  
> You guys are awesome, love you all.  
> Feel free to comment because it lifts my spirits and makes me happy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't have any homework so I managed to finish another one. :D  
> If you haven't read chapter 5 yet go ahead a do that now, I posted it about 13 hours ago so. It's 2am.  
> Italicized is other language, like it usually is when people start doing sign language.  
> This chapter is full of good times *sarcasm intensified*

Sam followed the path of destruction, hoping to come across Bruce. If he was going to find Tony, no matter who took him, he was going to need the doctor’s help. It would appear that the Hulk left the city, going out into a large empty field. He found Bruce, passed out and mostly naked, surrounded by tire tracks.

He checked the unconscious form. Bruce was physically fine, just exhausted. Sam shook him until he groaned and rolled over. Sitting up, Bruce looked around wide-eyed at everything.

“Did I hurt anybody?” Bruce asked, looking devastated. “Oh god, where is Tony? I can’t control myself when I’m attacked like that. Did I hurt him?”

“You didn’t hurt anyone, just smashed a few trees and damaged the roads.” Sam said. Bruce continued to look up at him, frowning. “I don’t know where Tony is. I was trying to get him back to the car and I was just knocked away. Someone grabbed him and I don’t know where they went.”

Bruce jumped up quickly, cursing and stumbling all the way to Sam’s car. Sam climbed into the driver’s seat and headed back to the city.

“God, I can’t believe this is happening again.” Bruce muttered. “Last time this happened he almost died. We have to get him back.” Sam looked over quickly, frowning.

“Well, from where I stood it looked like you were chasing a car or something full of people shooting at you. Probably to get the Hulk as far away as possible. It looked pretty coordinated.” Sam said bitterly. “And the guy who took Tony kicked really hard. We have to-.”

They stopped at the sound of Sam’s phone ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket quickly. Steve was calling him, he would know what to do. They were all probably on their way back. Then they could all find Tony hopefully safe and sound.

“Sam, this is Clint.” He heard as he answered the phone. “Learned a lot of interesting things at Steve's old training camp. We’ll tell you later, when we get back in a few hours. Right now you have to tell me why the Hulk went on a rampage and broke everything on his way out of the city.”

“We… were attacked. Bruce is fine though, I just picked him up and we’re going to go find Tony.” Sam said quickly. He figured it was best to get the major issues out as soon as possible.

“YOU LOST TONY!?” Clint yelled out, causing a loud murmur to start in the background.

“We were attacked. They shot at Bruce, got him to do the Hulk thing, and then led him away. Then I got my ass kicked and some super strong scary person with a metal arm got away with Tony.” Sam said. Bruce was sitting anxiously in the passenger seat. “You guys should hurry getting back.”

Suddenly there was shuffling and silent conversations on the other end of the call. He wasn’t quite sure what they were saying but he could hear the anger and worry. “Did you say ‘metal arm’?” Natasha’s voice called out through the phone.

“Yeah. Moved almost like a real arm. I didn’t know prosthetics could do that.”

“They usually can’t.” Bruce muttered, scanning the passing streets while maintaining his breathing. Natasha sighed loudly.

“I know who did this.” She said, a calm anger flowing from her voice. “It’s HYDRA.”

~~~

Tony was getting really sick of being kidnapped. Sure, this was only the second time, but he was kidnapped by a silent cyborg. If he survives and ends up being kidnapped again it will probably be by time pirates or something and it will progressively get weirder with each kidnapping.

He sat quietly in the corner a room, his left hand cuffed to a loop sticking out of the wall. He didn’t talk, hardly moved except for repeatedly pulling at the handcuffs in hopes his hand will slip through. All that accomplished was irritating his wrist, starting to swell slightly in a bright red. He was ignoring the slight pain though because he was focusing on what his captors were silently discussing. Once they were finished and left the room he would grab one of the bobby pins he kept hidden in his shoe in case of moments like these, pick the lock, and make his escape.

The part robot man was sitting quietly in a chair in the middle of the room, not moving. Not speaking. He hadn’t even removed the mask covering his face or his combat outfit. There were several other men in the room who took all the weapons away from the masked man. They kept glancing at Tony in their muttering, clearly they didn’t know that Tony was fluent in Russian. All thanks to his wonderful mama.

“ _They will come looking for the boy._ ” One of them said. He was short, only slightly taller than Tony. The other one towered over him.

“ _Of course. That is the point._ ” The tall one said. “ _Then we kill them all while they are together and get them out of the way._ ” Tony held in a laugh at that. Their plan was to piss off a bunch of superheroes, get them together, and kill them? These guys took down aliens. Tony thinks they can handle a bunch of goons and a cyborg.

“ _Okay. But why do we keep the boy in with the soldier?_ ” The small one asked, looking nervously between Tony and mystery man kidnapper. “ _If he sees his face-._ ”

“ _It won’t matter. He won’t live very long anyway._ ”

More people entered the room then, not even giving him a second glance. Tony didn’t care, if they were ignoring him then he would have a better opportunity to plan his escape. He felt something warm trickle down his left arm, looking over in confusion he realized it was blood. He had kept yanking at his arm, the handcuffs cutting into his wrist, even as he focused on what everyone else was doing. He should probably stop before he damages his wrist too much.

He returned his attention back to the people, removing the man’s leather jacket and undershirt, putting an IV into his hand, and removed the mask. Tony froze, he didn’t look away, he didn’t say anything, he stopped himself from showing any reaction at all because the cyborg creepy masked kidnapper guy was Bucky Barnes. Bucky fucking Barnes. Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th. James Buchanan Barnes the Howling Commando. Every kid in America, and some parts of Europe, grew up learning about him and Captain America and their sacrifice to stop the Evil Science Nazis. How the fuck was he alive?!

Tony started going through every possible way he could actually be sitting in the same room as one of the greatest American heroes of all time who supposedly died seventy years ago. Sure, Bucky could have survived the fall but still, seventy fucking years ago. Another thing, why was he working with Russian kidnapper terrorist bad guys who wanted to kill the Avengers. It didn’t make sense.

Tony was only certain of three things at this point. One, he was kidnapped by a stone quiet, unmoving Bucky Barnes look alike. Two, when he was in a threatening environment his thoughts had a few more curse words thrown in. Three, His left arm felt like it was on fire. He took his eyes off of Bucky to look back at his arm. Apparently he hadn’t stopped trying to yank it out of the cuffs and his wrist was more swollen, cut up all the way around his wrist, and bleeding a lot.

“Uh, I think I might need this bandaged up or something.” Tony said with as much confidence as he could summon. A few of them looked over at him, frowning at his arm.

They started muttering, in English, about whether or not they should patch him up or just let him bleed out. Tony didn’t think it was that serious, it wasn’t gushing blood, just dripping steadily. What was serious was how American most of these people sounded. Why were some guys Russian and the rest American? Why would they want to kill Captain America? Where was their sense of patriotism?

They decided to just leave him. From what Tony understood they figured that it would clot and stop bleeding on his own or if it didn’t it wasn’t that they needed him alive for when everyone showed up. Tony wasn’t worried, he just concentrated a little more on not moving his arm as much. He was still mostly focused on Bucky, who had remained entirely still and quiet. He only moved or spoke when he was told to. From all the stories Steve would tell about the guy, he didn’t seem like the kind only do what he was ordered. What did they do to him?

“Bucky?” Tony asked once everyone left the room. With everyone else gone and no longer ordering him to report on the mission or to not move so they could adjust the IVs or examine his arm Bucky didn’t look menacing at all. He did back when he was all suited up his mask and badass metal arm. Now he just looked confused. And sort of helpless. “Bucky, can you hear me?”

He look over at Tony quickly, nodding slightly. Tony smiled slightly, at least he was somewhat responsive. His wrist was throbbing but at least it wasn’t bleeding anymore. There was just waved of pain and his arm covered in dried blood. He would have to get out of here as soon as possible in case of infection.

“Bucky, I’m a friend of Steve’s.” Tony said slowly. “Do you remember Steve?” Bucky frowned, looking even more confused at he went back to staring straight ahead of him. “He was your friend. I can take you to him.”

“No.” Bucky said. Tony waited, surprised to hear him speak on his own. Usually he only said anything if those horrible people demanded him to. He didn’t speak anymore.

“What did they do to you?” Tony asked dejectedly. They had sat in silence for a few minutes. Tony planning how he was going to get out and wondering what to do with Bucky. He had half a mind to just escape with him but the man hardly moved. They were probably pumping some sort of brainwashing drugs or sedatives or something through his IV.

Tony decided to take him. These people were terrible and he wasn’t going to leave anybody with them. He pulled out one of the bobby pins in his shoe and put it in the lock. It only took him a few seconds of wiggling it unlocked, he did have spies for parents and he picked up quite a few useful things. Tony flinched as he peeled the cuff of his wounded wrist, dried blood clinging to the metal.

“I’m going to check to make sure the coast is clear and then you and I are going to leave here and go to freedom.” Tony said. He didn’t bother waiting for a response, Bucky wasn’t talking right now.

He opened the door, peeking into a small hallway. Several armed guards stood a few feet away, close enough for Tony to hear their muttering and notice the SHIELD symbol on their uniforms. He stood there, confused. SHIELD was trying to kill the Avengers? He knew the organization was being strange but to kill their Director, their greatest team of heroes, and to keep a traumatized looking Bucky Barnes around.

It wasn’t that he didn’t turn away from them and hide, it was that he couldn’t. He was exhausted. Tony was starting to regret not sleeping all the night before because at the moment he was dealing with some sort of messed up thing SHIELD is doing, he has been kidnapped again, and he met a supposedly dead war hero. He just stopped and stood there.

Tony’s focus came back a minute later when he was grabbed roughly by the arm and pinned against the wall. He rammed his head into the nose of the man in front of him and kicked the other one in the stomach as strong as he could. They both stepped back, holding where Tony hit them. He almost got away, taking a few quick steps down the hall, when they went after him and grabbed him again. This time it was angry and they threw him onto the floor.

Blood was pouring out of the nose of the one that pinned him down with his knee and grabbed a fistful of Tony’s shirt. His whole body went tense, he’d been in this position before back when he was living with Howard. He knew it was coming, the brutal punch to the face. Each fist came faster and harder until they let up. They stood up and Tony curled into a ball, gasping desperately as blood trickled out of his nose and mouth.

They picked him up and dragged him back to the room. Bucky was still sitting in his seat, but a ghost of a frown etched into his face as Tony was brought in. They threw him back into the corner and recuffed his mangled hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Tony met Bucky. His escape didn't go so well.  
> Hopefully everything works out. I did say that this story would be different than the Part 1 so maybe no happy ending this time.....  
> Comment and tell me things. I will listen.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaay. Weekend is here (No classes on Friday for me). More time for writing. And being a wonderful, gorgeous young woman. Who writes Marvel Fanfiction. I'm so cool.  
> I don't know why I always write chapter notes. I don't really have much to say.

Tony had passed out in the corner he was cuffed to a few minutes after they dragged him back in from his failed escape attempt. He just leaned against the wall limply until his vision went black. He wasn’t sure how long he was out but when he woke up he could feel an intense pain coming from his left arm. Instinctively he tried to pull it toward himself. Tony gave a yelp of pain and his eyes snapped open. 

The first thing he noticed was his left hand still cuffed to the wall. The wrist was red and swollen, pushing up against the metal of the handcuff. His arm was still covered in dried blood so he couldn’t examine it further.

The next thing he noticed was that more people were in the room, talking quietly to Bucky. He looked even more confused than he did earlier, constantly glancing between the man talking and over to Tony. 

He flinched when Bucky was slapped hard in the face for not paying attention. Tony hated these people. He wanted to go home and get Bucky back to Steve and then everything would be great again. Maybe not great, he knew they would all probably need more therapy when it was over. But it would be okay.

His body started to shake, feeling suddenly cold as his breath picked up. Tony was certain that if he had eaten anything else besides breakfast who knows how long ago he probably would have thrown up. He used every calming technique he knew as they started getting Bucky ready to go back out. He could barely make out what the man was saying to him, but it sounded like they were telling him where to find someone. Tony’s stomach dropped when he heard the words ‘Maria Hill, take her out.’

Bucky was led out of the room, everyone following closely behind until Tony was alone. He instantly went for one of the leftover bobby pins from his shoe and went to work on the handcuffs again. Tony figured this escape would be just as pitiful as the first but he had to try. Maria was his friend and whatever they were doing to Bucky had to stop. 

Once he opened the lock, his arm fell to his side. His hand and arm tingled slightly as his wrist continued to throb. His fingers twitched and he couldn’t move them very much. Tony started to panic, pulling his arm close to him and holding it there. He was sure it was just from the swelling, possibly infection. He just had to get out to warn everybody that this group of assholes are using Bucky Barnes, great American icon, to kill people. Hill had to know so she could prepare. Then he’ll get to a hospital and they’ll fix him up.

Tony stumbled quickly to the air vent, prying it open quickly and pulling himself up into it. He silently thanked Clint for his determination to get Tony fit because he was able to pull himself up with one arm. It was large enough in the space for him to crawl through, maybe even large enough to fit Bucky as well. 

He stopped suddenly as a loud scream pierced the air. It sounded muffled and Tony couldn’t make out which direction it was coming from. He didn’t bother moving, too afraid of what they were doing and who they were doing it to.

Several minutes later the screaming died down and Tony waited. He realized he was holding his breath and let it out, inhaling again deeply. He started heading through the vent again desperately looking through the grates for the exit. He would get to the team and tell them about this place and they would save Bucky and stop the screaming.

Then he found it, the exit. It even had those bright green signs that said ‘Exit’. He looked around through the grate to make sure no one else was around before kicking it open and jumping down. He fell flat on his back as he hit the ground, suddenly dizzy. Tony shook his head quickly, continuing to take deep breaths as he stoop slowly and walked out the door. It was raining and he looked back the building as he walked quickly away, he made sure to memorize the address. It looked like an old, yet large bank. It was probably abandoned or sold to those horrible people. 

Tony had never been to this side of town and had no idea where to go. He just walked as quickly as possible in a single direction away from the building. He’d keep looking until he found a place he recognized or a phone booth or something.

He walked for several blocks, looking through the heavy rain. There was no one around, everyone probably staying dry inside. He walked for a while, getting to a more recognizable neighborhood but he knew he was still too far from anyone he knew. Eventually his leg was a mass of sharp pain with every step he took and he knew he would have to stop. He limped quickly into a small park, curling up under a bench that sat under a tree to block out the rain.

He poked at his arm and fingers as they began feeling numb while a stabbing pain was coming from his wrist. The rain had washed off most of the blood, revealing bright red streaks covering some of his hand and going down his arm. Tony groaned and pulled his arm close to him again. It was definitely infected and it looked bad.

Somehow he fell asleep under that bench because when he opened his eyes it was significantly darker. Everything hurt but he pulled himself out from under the bench anyway. It had stopped raining but he was completely soaked. 

He started heading down the most lit up road, windows shone bright so it probably wasn’t too late if most people were still up. The neighborhood was vaguely familiar and he looked for anything he could completely recognize so he could get help. Then he saw it, an older apartment building he’s been to before. He has a friend who lives there.

He was glad for the dry warmth he met when he walked into the building. He glared at the stairs, testing his wait on his bad leg before deciding he should be good to go up. Three flights up and feeling completely drained he walked up to the door he wanted, knocking lightly. He leaned up against the door and waited for it to open. Tony regretted that decision as soon as the door he was leaning on pulled back and he fell into the room.

“Wha-? Tony, are you alright?” Tony groaned, rolling over to give a thumbs up to his friend. Happy looked even more devastated seeing his face. “What the hell happened to you?!”

Tony opened him mouth to speak, only to be caught off guard by a sharp pain stabbing into his cheek. He whined loudly and held his face, his left hand still laying limp at his side. Happy bent down and pulled him over to the wall to prop him up, he pushed the hands away quickly. Suddenly there was another person in his face, checking him over. She was the most beautiful girl Tony’s other seen. He looked back at Happy raising his eyebrows. Happy just shook his head and pulled out his phone.

Tony grabbed it from his hands and quickly typed a text and sent it to his mother. Natasha called almost immediately. Happy took it back quickly.

“Now you listen to me.” She started calmly, expecting the worse.

“Natasha, it’s Harold. Tony’s friend. He just showed up at my door. He looks terrible so we’re going to take him to the hospital.” Happy said quickly, looking up at the girl. “Pepper, call an ambulance.”

There was a brief pause before over the phone as Pepper started dialing on her phone. She leaned down in front of Tony, frowning as she examined him. He tried to smile at her, only to have another burst of pain from his cheek. He then turned his attention back to the phone and tried to reach for it.  
Pepper grabbed his hand and shook her head. He pulled it from her quickly and let his hand drop in defeat, instead deciding he was exhausted again and laid his head back against the wall.

“We’ll meet you there.” Natasha said. “Call me immediately if anything else happens.”

“An ambulance is on its way.” Pepper said. 

“Tony, this is Pepper. She takes classes over at a local community college with me. We were just finishing up studying together so I’m coming with you.” Happy said calmly, ignoring Tony’s groans and him shaking his head.

“Alright, young man. You’re going to the hospital and their going to take care of you.” Pepper said in a firm voice. She stared Tony down as he whined loudly. “No whining. Hospitals good. Whoever did this bad.” Tony frowned and whined again.

“Tony, you’re sixteen. You’ll be fine at a hospital.” Happy said, his voice sounding like a combination of worry and amusement. 

The paramedics arrived then, bursting through the door and walking straight to Tony. He heard a jumble of voices throwing around words like ‘possible concussion’, ‘severe infection’, and worst of all ‘possible nerve damage’. 

“We thought he might have a concussion so we’ve been trying to keep him awake.” Pepper said, stepping aside to give them room.

Tony looked over to glare at her and Happy. He felt betrayed. He didn’t have a concussion, he’d slept twice since those bastards beat his face in and he was fine. He groaned as they lifted him up onto a gurney, not because anything was hurting more than usual but because he was actually going to the hospital before he was able to tell anyone to look out for Maria or to go find Bucky, who was alive.

He ignored everything else that was said as they put him into the back of the ambulance, Happy sliding in next to him. Pepper left to drive home and made Happy promise updates to make sure he was okay. Tony looked back at his friend while the paramedics worked and drove away.

“I know that look. No, I’m not dating her. I told you, studying.” Happy said calmly. “Besides, she’s seventeen. Just taking college courses while she finishes High School. Hey, she’s only a year older than you. I’ll have to set you up.”

Tony would have laughed if he could manage to move his mouth without pain. He gave a half-hearted nod and closed his eyes, waiting until he met up with Clint and Natasha at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next we'll be looking at what the team's been up to while he's been away.  
> Luckily, Tony's being taken to a lovely healthcare facility to help him.  
> Comment, I read them and it helps me along the story writing process.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer chapter than I usually do and I got it up before I anticipated. Go me.  
> You're all wonderful. Thank you for reading. If I could I would hug each of you individually. Unless you prefer personal space or don't want hugs. Then I'll buy pie for everyone.  
> No Tony in this chapter. All Team stuff. Tony next.

It took the team three hours to get back to DC. They arrived at Sam’s house and took turns showering and napping. Clint and Natasha couldn’t rest at all and instead went to Fort Meade to pick up Sam’s EXO-7 Falcon. His wings. They weren’t quite sure why Sam was so eager to help them take out HYDRA, it wasn’t his fight. Also, the last thing he offered to do ended with him getting a bruising kick to the chest and the Hulk tearing apart half a park and multiple streets heading out of the city.

Getting into Fort Meade, taking out all the guards, and getting to the EXO-7 Falcon equipment was easy. They considered it practice for when they had to get into wherever they were keeping Tony and tear the place apart. Driving back was the hard part. They couldn’t discuss tactics and plan to break into the military base because that was done. They couldn’t discuss plans for getting into where Tony was because they still didn’t know where that was. So they drove back in silence.

Sam smiled widely as they tossed the wings over to him. Natasha recognized the look. His eyes began to shine and his smile was friendly and loving. It was the same look Clint had when he picked up his bows or when Steve grabbed his shield. Tony even had that look whenever Dummy tried to help him with anything.

“Why are you doing this?” Natasha asked calmly. “These people are dangerous. You don’t have to fight.” Sam shrugged.

“Well, when they started planning to kill millions of people and take over the world it sorta became my fight.” He said, frowning. “And then they try to ruin my excellent babysitting reputation, it’s personal.” Sam felt guilty. Tony was his responsibility only for a day and now the kid was gone. He was also angry, because Tony was a good kid and they were probably hurting him and trying to kill millions of people, most of whom probably decent people.

“How are we going to do this? Take out the hellicarriers first and then go looking Tony. Go after Tony just leave the hellicarriers? Okay, that’s not an option.” Clint said quickly. “We’re probably going to have to split up. Their launching in a few days and we want Tony to spend as little time as possible with those people.”

“Whatever you need me to do.” Sam said, taking his wings and walking back to his room to rest while he still could. Clint and Natasha remained in the kitchen, silently worrying as they listened to the rain pouring outside.

Steve was the first to get up the next morning. Natasha going over every possible entrance into SHIELD while Clint listened and went over the paths the vents took. They needed a way inside and to the launch pad without too much trouble.

“Getting in might be difficult. No doubt they changed our access codes by now.” Clint muttered.

“Why don’t we ask Agent Hill?” Steve asked. “She’s definitely still on our side. She helped us escape.”

“Now we just have to find her.” Natasha said. “Shouldn’t be too difficult, I have her emergency number.”

She pulled out her phone, the one she saved for situations like these. Couldn’t have them tracing her. She punched in the number to Hill’s emergency phone and waiting. All agent’s had emergency phones that weren’t in the SHIELD systems, giving the number to only a few.

“I would have assumed you would be laying low. It’s been almost three days since you guys have been on the run and I have reports of the Hulk on a rampage, you guys breaking into an old army training camp in New Jersey, and you and Barton attacking Fort Meade.” Maria said. The slight annoyance in her voice was very noticeable through the phone.

“We didn’t attach the Fort.” Clint said. “We were merely picking something up that belongs to our friend.” Natasha sighed, shaking her head.

“Maria, do you still have access to SHIELD?” She asked. She almost gave a cheer when Hill said she did. Almost.

They all drove to the mall to meet with her, dressing as casual as possible in hopes they would blend in. They all sat close together in the food court, smiling and laughing like a group of friends just spending the day out. Maria slid into a seat next to them within ten minutes.

“I’ll give you the passcode later, in a more secure location.” She said. “You’re sure it’s HYDRA?” Everyone nodded slowly. “With the Winter Soldier? And they took Tony?” Everyone continued to nod and she cursed. “Okay. Then who’s this guy?”

“Hey.” Sam said, nodding. “Sam Wilson. Ex-military, can fly, is a cutie.” She smiled slightly before turning to the rest of the group.

“You are all armed?” Maria asked. Everyone nodded. Steve had his SHIELD in Sam’s car, Sam’s wings in the trunk, Clint had his retractable bow and a quiver full of arrows, and Natasha was always armed. She had no less than ten knives on her at any given time. Bruce was Bruce so that was solved. Mjolnir would come whenever Thor called for it. “Good, let’s go.”

They walked calmly back out into the parking lot. The piled into Sam’s car and followed Maria to the edge of town. They drove slowly through the expanse of trees and stopped just outside a large, abandoned looking warehouse.

They all parked in a secluded area, hiding the vehicles and grabbing their weapons as they followed Maria inside. They went upstairs and listened to every sound. Then they stopped just outside a plastic curtain, staring at the man in the hospital bed.

“About damn time.” Nick Fury said, alive. “Next time I die I expect you guys to show up sooner.”

Bruce stepped forward quickly to examine the man, pushing aside the doctor already there. Thor cheered.

“Fury is truly a great warrior to survive such severe wounds. I hear this soldier is a formidable opponent.” Thor said happily and gently put his hand on the man’s shoulder.

Maria showed them what weapons they had. SHIELD made plenty of quality weapons that was stockpiled a few rooms over. Natasha grabbed several guns and devices used to subdue enemies, hiding them under her clothes. Clint grabbed a single handgun. He was content with his bow. Steve stood in Fury’s room, shifting his SHIELD between hands.

“What can you tell me about the Winter Soldier?” Steve asked.

“He’s dangerous. He’ll kill dozens of men without breaking a sweat.” Fury said. “But those are only reports. My only encounters with him was when I was driving and there he was, standing in the middle of the street. I swear there was a fucking ominous wind blowing as he fired at my car and flipped it. The bastard just stepped out of the way. The other time I was hiding in your apartment and he shot me through a wall.” He held his chest at the bullet wound. “According to what little intel we gathered on him, he used to work for the Soviets. Now he’s working for another organization but we don’t have the name. Over a dozen confirmed kills in the past fifty years. And that’s only the confirmed.” Steve nodded angrily.

“He took Tony.” He said. Fury sighed.

“That boy gets into more trouble than any agent I’ve ever seen. Except maybe Barton so I guess the apple falling from the tree metaphor might apply.” He said. “He and Romanov are going to go after them. The three greatest assassins in the world battling it out for a highly intelligent teenager. I’d like to see that.”

Steve nodded, heading over to where Clint was counting his arrows to tell him about what Fury had said. Whoever this guy was, he was definitely a threat.

The team gathered, discussed strategies for what was going to happen when they got to SHIELD. Everyone accepted that Clint and Natasha weren’t coming along. They had to start looking for Tony, who had been gone for almost thirty-four hours, counting them as they passed. They knew he would still be alive. They don’t send the Winter Soldier to kidnap someone they’re just going to kill right away.

“Bravo66415.” Maria said, as she stood and looked over at everyone. “The access code, in case one of you guys need it. Now, I have extra SHIELD uniforms stashed at my apartment. A few of you should come with me to get them. We’re all in danger so I want everyone in a group of at least three people.” Clint and Natasha shared a look.

“We’ll come with you. Help you all with this before we leave to find Tony.” Natasha said, still masking her face of all emotion.

Steve stood with them and followed them downstairs. “I’ll come too. If something happens we’ll do better with four than three.”

They climbed into the car Maria was driving earlier. It wasn’t her car, Natasha knew she would never drive anything painted so white. The drive back into the city was quiet, whenever they weren’t talking about fighting HYDRA it was just quiet. It had rained that day and coupled with the June heat it was almost unbearable.

Any bit of sunlight that might had slipped through the clouds were gone as night fell when they finally reached Maria’s building. She and Steve went up to grab what they needed. Clint and Natasha waited in the backseat of the car, looking around for potential danger.

Natasha’s phone vibrated in her pocket. She frowned at Clint, the only people who had this number were all back at the warehouse, here with her, or kidnapped by HYDRA. She pulled it out and read the text.

_Mama it’s Tony. I got away and need to talk to you._

“Call it.” Clint said quickly, looking over her shoulder.

This had to be a trap. They didn’t want to think about what could have happened to Tony that he would tell them this number but she would kill them all for it.

“Now you listen to me.” She started to say as calmly as she could. To an outsider she would have appeared and sounded completely relaxed but Clint could see the murderous rage in her eyes.

“Natasha, it’s Harold. Tony’s friend. He just showed up at my door. He looks terrible so we’re going to take him to the hospital.” Said a man over the phone. She knew his voice. It was Happy, one of Tony’s friends from high school who moved here after graduating. He and Tony would spend time together when he was having a very good day.

Clint’s eyes lit up. Tony had gotten away. Of course he had, he was a genius being raised by spies. In the background of a call they recognized the sound of a girl calling an ambulance.

“We’ll meet you there.” Natasha said. “Call me immediately if anything else happens.” She hung up and looked over to Maria’s building, seeing her and Steve walk out with several bundles of clothes.

Clint jumped out of the car to meet up with them. Steve’s eyebrows shot up and a smile crept onto Maria’s face. Natasha almost climbed out as well so she and Clint could find a way to the hospital while they all went back to the others. Suddenly the car jerked back, sending her into the front seat.

Everyone started pulling out weapons and looked at the large jeep that had crashed into the car. Several men jumped out and pointed weapons at them. Maria shot at them immediately, sending two of the three men onto the ground.

Then there he was, The Winter Soldier in a black uniform and face covered. He rushed forward and kicked Steve into the window of Maria’s building before aiming a gun straight at Hill. Clint grabbed Maria and they ran back towards the car. Natasha was climbing out and tosses Clint his quiver of arrows. He opened his bow with a snap and grabbed one of the electric arrows Tony made for him.

It hit him in the metal arm, knocking the gun’s aim away from Agent Hill as it went off. Electricity covered the arm as it fell limply to the soldier’s side. Steve climbed out the window quickly and ran towards them, catching his shield as Nat threw it at him.

The soldier yanked the arrow out of his robotic arm and tossed it to the side. He pulled a gun out with his flesh arm and fired again. Steve pulled everyone behind his shield as they walked quickly behind the totaled car.

“That’s the Winter Soldier?” Steve asked quickly. He knew it was a pointless question because he knew it was him. He just felt the need to say something.

“Yeah, that looks to be him.” Clint said. His voice was hasty and dripping with anger. “Electricity seems to temporarily take out his arm. I’ll hit him with another arrow, Steve you throw your shield. He seems to be after Hill so Nat, you watch her back.” They all nodded.

Clint turned the corner quickly, seeing the soldier making a slow advance. He already had his bow up and aimed and let the arrow fly. It didn’t hit. The man just knocked it away as if it were an annoying fly. Steve still threw his shield at him as he was distracted by the arrow. The vibranium disk hit him directly in the face knocking the mask off as the soldier was flung back.

“Bucky?” Steve said, barely catching his shield as it flew back to him.

Steve just stood there and stared. That was Bucky. It was Bucky’s face in a mess of tangled brown hair that was far longer than he had ever seen in and a set of empty eyes.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” He said, aiming his gun again but this time at Steve.

Clint tackled Cap and dragged him to the ground as the bullet flew through the air. Natasha jumped up to fire a shot at him. The remaining guy who Bucky showed up with began dragging him back towards the jeep.

“No!” Steve yelled out, stalling her shot. They two men jumped into the jeep and backed up quickly. Steve pushed Clint off of him and ran after it. He didn’t get very far before it disappeared from view.

“So. Did it look like he was after me? I don’t think he was.” Agent Hill said, standing up and walking slowly over to where Steve had sat down in the street.

“He was.” Clint said. "We probably weren't supposed to see his face. They wanted to get him away." He put a hand on Steve’s shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

He looked back up at all of them. He looked angry and confused. “He didn’t know me. We fought HYDRA together, he wouldn’t join them willingly. They did something to him.”

“Steve, we’ll get him.” Natasha said. “Tony’s at the hospital. Bucky took him so he’ll know something about it but right now we have to go to him.” Steve nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, we have to get back. Stop the launch and take down HYDRA and we’ll find him.” Steve stood quickly, going to pick up the bundles of clothes they had dropped. “Go help Tony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was fun. Poor Steve. Maria's safe. Spyssassin parents are making their way to Tony.  
> Things might just work out.  
> Comment, or else. *menacing looks and evil laughter*


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting turn of events in this chapter. Don't worry, Tony will be okay. Eventually.

Tony awoke groggily, too tired to open his eyes. He felt a gentle hand run its way through his hair and several voices around him. They were talking quietly, two men and a woman. They seemed far away, voices muffled by his exhaustion. He could just make out the worry as he slipped back into unconsciousness.

The next time he woke up he opened his eyes. Clint and Natasha were sleeping quietly in uncomfortable looking chairs on either side of him, holding each other’s hands from across the bed. They looked about as exhausted as Tony felt so he decided not to wake them. He took a single glance out the window, seeing the sunrise slowly. Then he yawned and went back to sleep.

He was dreaming, it was strange. Not strange in that bubblegum people riding orange unicorns had redecorated his house. Sure, that was a weird dream but he had dreams like that years ago. The past year all his dreams were terrifying and horrible. They usually contained several things he was terrified of happening, like being tied down to a chair or drugged and beaten and shot and being with all the terrible people he hated.

This dream was pleasant. He wasn’t even doing much, just working on Jarvis while his parents sat around him watching tv. Tony didn’t notice he was dreaming until Bucky sat down next to the three of them, wearing the coat they always shown him wearing in old photos. He reached out with his metal arm and patted Dummy. Tony felt comfortable, safe. He didn’t want to wake up again. Tony was sitting comfortably between his parents with his laptop in hand and Bucky was safe with them.

Then he felt the familiar pull back to consciousness. Tony wanted to stay. He was safe and fine and not a scratch on him. It was the first pleasant dream he’s had in months and he wanted to savor it. Instead, the dream faded and he once again felt the hands pulling through his hair. A woman sang quietly, a lullaby about doves sitting on his head. Then he realized it was in Russian, Natasha must be singing to him. He loved it when she sang to him.

He rolled over to lean his head into her hand and smiled softly. He cracked open his eyes to look at her. He could see the relief plastered all over her usual calm mask. He turned to glance out the window as the sun began to set. He must have slept all day.

“Clint’s out getting dinner. We didn’t expect you to be up so soon but I’ll have him pick you up some jello.” Natasha said, pulling out her phone and texting quickly.

“Pudding.” Tony muttered.

“Alright, you’ll get pudding but don’t think you can have anything you want once you get out.” She said, putting on a fake smile.

Tony could see she was angry and sad, he hated it. His face must have looked terrible by the way she kept scanning it. Oddly enough, his face didn’t hurt. In fact, nothing hurt. How injured could he be if he didn’t feel any pain?  However, he was in the hospital, much to his displeasure.

Clint rushed in, smiling as he carried a to-go bag from a deli and a package of pudding cups. He put the pudding on the counter and handed Natasha her sandwich. Tony was glad they didn’t give him his pudding right away. He thought he was going to throw up just by looking at their sandwiches.

“Slept all day?” Tony asked.

“Yeah. They kept having to sedate you because you were fighting the doctors.” Clint said, analyzing Tony’s face. “You know, if you’re uncomfortable or afraid, you can tell us.” Tony nodded, although he hates the fact that they sedated him. He had a rough couple of days so he must not have been too keen on doctors touching him but he was awake now so he’ll be calm.

It was cold, but hot as well so he didn’t bother pulling up his blankets. He missed his room, it was always the perfect temperature and if he was cold during the night Dummy had a habit of covering him with blankets. He wondered if he should make another robot to hang out with the little guy. Clint and Nat might not let him. One robot was probably enough. Besides, Dummy had Lucky. Tony started wondering who Clint called to take Lucky in while they were away.

Tony frowned. He was usually more focused than this. He looked over at the IVs sticking out of his right arm. He must being getting pain killers, they numbed his mind and were highly addictive. He didn’t want to be addicted to anything, let alone things that will stop him from thinking properly. That’s just what Maria did and it was like she wasn’t even there anymore. Tony didn’t want to go away like that.

He would have said something if the doctor hadn’t stepped in at that moment. Clint and Natasha put their food down quickly to look up at him.

“Hello Tony. How are you feeling?” The doctor said, smiling softly.

“Don’t want this.” Tony said, waving his right arm around to reveal the IVs. The doctor just shook his head.

“That’s not a good idea. You’re on antibiotics and pain medications. If we take you off we’ll risk infection and you’ll be an incredible amount of pain.” Tony looked confused at the doctor and back at his parents. He didn’t like how worried and confused they seemed, but agreed with the doctor.

“Why?” He breathed out. Sure, his arm was a bit cut up and swollen and for some reason his face had hurt earlier but that was yesterday and it wasn’t that terrible of pain. It was manageable.

“You have a zygomatic fracture, a broken cheekbone. Luckily it didn’t need surgical replacement and should heal on its own.” The doctor said and paused. Tony shrugged, he’s had broken bones before. One time Howard even broke his jaw and he was fine without pain killers. Miserable but fine. “There’s also your arm. By the time you arrived it was severely infected and spreading up your arm. You weren’t responding to antibiotics so we had to-.”

Tony blocked out whatever he had said next because he lifted up his left arm out from under the blankets to look at it. It was almost exactly the same. He still had the pale year old scar just under his shoulder from the cord that had cut into it. He still had his bicep from all the working out Clint had made him do. The only difference was the bandages that appeared just above his elbow. The rest was gone.

He desperately tried to wiggle the fingers that weren’t there. He wanted his hand to still be there so he curl it into a fist and punch something. But they weren’t there. The only thing left of his arm was wrapped up stump just above what used to be his elbow. He made a distressed noise and Natasha reached out to grab his other hand, his only hand.

“Tony, tell us what you’re thinking.” Clint said. Tony looked up quickly. What was he thinking? Confusion because he could have sworn that there was an arm there yesterday. He hadn’t even noticed it. Its absence did remind him of something.

“Bucky.” Tony muttered. He looked up at everyone. The doctor must have left because he was alone with his parents, both had had a terrified glint to their eyes.

“Did he hurt you? He did this?” Natasha asked, her voice lower than Tony’s ever heard it.

“No. I did. Handcuffs.” Tony muttered. He rubbed lightly at what was left of his arm. “Bucky.” He knew he wasn’t making sense but he couldn’t remember how to form proper sentences anymore. He really hated narcotics. He used to refuse almost all medications because he was afraid of being addicted. A year of therapy and he still won’t take anything he doesn’t have to. Right now he was afraid of how much pain he could be in without it and his parents were insisting, they didn’t usually insist he take anything.

“You mean his arm? It’s metal?” Clint asked. Tony nodded quickly.

“He’s not bad. Everyone else there was bad.” He muttered, eyes going wide as he remembered why he escaped without Bucky. “Going to make him get Maria. Help her and save Bucky.” He nodded, that’s what he’s been meaning to say. Everything would be fine if they managed to do that.

Tony laid back down and continued to rub his injured arm. Building was going to be difficult, there went his plans to build another robot. He couldn’t hold something steady and hold tools at the same time anymore. His breath began to pick up, suddenly upset. It was gone, a huge piece of him was missing. He quickly blinked away a tear.

“Can I have it back?” Tony choked out. _It could happen_ , he thought desperately. _If it comes off it can be put back on._ It sounded right in his head but he knew it couldn’t happen.

“No, Tony. I’m sorry.” Natasha said.

Tony nodded, looking over and pointing to pudding. Natasha grabbed one, peeling it open and placing it on the stand they pushed over Tony’s bed. Clint handed him a plastic spoon. Tony didn’t give his arm any more attention and focused on eating his pudding instead.

“Hey Tones. Glad to see you’re up.” Happy said, knocking as he entered the room. Tony looked up at him gratefully, thankful for another distraction.

“Yeah. They got me pudding.” Tony mumbled out. Happy smiled at him, eyeing the deep bruises across him face and the short stump that was left of him arm. Tony ignored it.

“Pepper will be happy you’re okay. She was worried about you. In fact, she almost came with me to come see you but said it would be weird since she only met you that one time.” Happy said. Tony tried to remember who Pepper was. He didn’t think he knew a Pepper. Except for the kind you sprinkle on food. Clint always added too much whenever he cooked. Tony sighed, he was rambling in his thoughts again.

“Oh, the pretty girl at your house.” Tony said, figuring it out with pride. “She can come.”

Clint gave a soft smile and took Tony’s empty pudding cup and spoon away. Happy walked over and sat down next to Clint.

“Yeah, the three of us will go out sometime and hit the town.” He said, smiling over to him.

“Sounds fun. What do you have in mind?” Tony asked, ignoring all the things he probably couldn’t do anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. So so sorry. Tony will be okay, he just has to adjust to it.  
> Pepper will definitely be in the next chapter because I love her.  
> * shameless self-promotion: whothefrickleisbucky.tumblr.come *  
> Comment, I must know your thoughts and feelings.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, chapter ten. We're officially into the double digits.   
> I'm sorry for all of Tony's pain and suffering but he's a tough little idiot, he'll be okay.

Rhodey called from whichever air force base he was on to make sure Tony was alright. Tony insisted he was fine, which was a lie. He wasn’t fine. Sure, his cut around his arm was healing just fine but he refused every to talk most of the time. Glaring at every doctor and nurse that came in to examine or care for his arm. They were satisfied that there was no sign of infection. Several times Tony tried to reach out and grab something, only to stop and use his other arm or accidently knock something over. Then he would just roll onto his right side, eyes closed with his stump pulled close to his chest. 

He didn’t sleep much anymore. Tony couldn’t sleep on his back so sometimes in the night he would roll over onto his left side, squishing his injured arm between him and the bed and it was painful. He tore his stitches one night when he did that and had to have it stitched back up at three in the morning. Clint and Natasha woke up without any complaints and sit with him. 

Tony didn’t sleep the rest of the night or the night after that. His whole body throbbed in pain and he was sure that if he did fall asleep he would either burst his stitches again and bleed to death in the night or have nightmares of people hurting him. He didn’t want either so he stayed up.

Pepper noticed how off he was when she came to visit the next morning. She and Happy had visited almost every day to check up on him. Apparently, Tony had made an impression on her when he showed up during their studying half dead and looking like hell. 

“Hello, Tony. Following the doctor’s orders?” She asked, marching into the room with a smile. “You look exhausted.”

“I’m fine. Doing everything he’s been telling me. Look, I’m even wearing the shrinker sock thingy over it so it won’t swell or anything. I’m doing all my stretching exercises.” Tony said quickly. “Being stuck in the hospital is tiring.” Pepper sat down in Natasha’s empty seat. Tony looked her over, confused. She had never come to visit him by herself, Happy was always with her. He’d only met her four days ago, was that long enough to become friends? “No Happy?”

“No, he’s at work today. He has to pay for those college courses somehow.” Pepper says, her smile brightening. Tony loved her smile, it was warm and inviting and beautifully lit up her face. He tried to smile back, ignoring the stabs of pain coming off his cheek. His wasn’t nearly as nice as hers, his smile must have been lopsided from the swelling and looked wrong on his bruised up face. “You should join us sometime. The great halls of higher education might suit you.” Tony shrugged.

“Nah. What can they teach me that I don’t already know?” He said.

“You’re so arrogant. It’s like talking to a child.” Pepper said. Tony decided then that they were friends now. Meeting up the way they did was probably a good ice-breaker.

“I am a child. Why do you think I still get to live with my awesome parents and have them cook me food and ground me. I’m grounded forever at the moment.” Tony said smugly. She raised her eyebrows in curiosity. “Long story. I was stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” She said. Tony just shrugged again. “You’re parents seem nice.”

“Eh, they’re okay.” He says, suddenly feeling like he’s doing them a disservice. “They’re wonderful.”

They sat quietly, turning on the tv and sadly only getting the news. She seemed preoccupied with it for a few minutes while Tony absently rubbed at his arm. The room suddenly felt very small, he had spent all his time in it just laying around and doing nothing and he didn’t feel like he could do that today.

“Want to go for a walk?” He asked. Pepper gave him a pointed look. “I’m allowed to get out of bed. My doctor is even encouraging it.” 

“Alright, but we’re not leaving the hospital.” She said, nodding.

Tony jumped out of bed quickly, thankful he wasn’t wearing those hideous hospital gowns anymore and instead wore his sweats and an old t-shirt of Clint’s. He rushed out the door with Pepper following quickly behind him.

He decided to take the scenic route, walking through the halls with all the large windows showing what it was like outside, sunny and it looked like there was a slight breeze. He avoided going down to the cafeteria, knowing that’s probably where his parents were. Instead they went just outside and sat on a bench staring off into the parking lot. He liked the fresh air and they were still technically on hospital property.

“How are you doing?” She said, taking a deep breath.

“Alright. They want me to get a prosthetic but I’ve seen the options they discussed. Not really my thing. Maybe I should get a hook and sail to Neverland.” Tony said, laughing softly. It didn’t eat him up inside joking about it now. Not that he probably won’t have another sleepless night grieving over his second favorite arm but joking about it was the first step to acceptance, right?

“They say it’s second star to the right and straight on until morning, but I’ve always wondered second star to the right of what?” Pepper asked, crossing her legs and smiling. “Maybe it’s the moon or something.”

“Ah, we’re getting into some deep contemplation of children’s literature here. Too sophisticated for my liking.” Tony said. “Let’s talk about candy. I’m not getting out until tomorrow so you have to sneak me in some.”

Pepper raised an eyebrow at him but Tony just continued smiling like an idiot. He wanted candy and if he was ever going to get some now was his chance. She shook her head and sighed.

“It really is like talking to a child. Fine I’ll get you some candy.” Pepper said, standing. “I have class in an hour so I should probably head out. Be back later with your junk. If you’re not allowed to have it and you failed to inform me you’re in big trouble.”

“Come on. Besides a broken face and… that,” Tony said, gesturing to what was left of his left arm. “I’m fine.”

“Do you want me to walk you back to your room?”

“No, it’s a beautiful day and I’m going to enjoy it.” Tony smiled. He wasn’t in the mood to be back in a godforsaken hospital room with doctors fussing over infection or swelling or telling him how much things are going to change. He was in the mood for a normal day out sitting on a bench in the sun.

“Alright. Be back in a few hours. Happy’ll be off by then so we’ll both stop by.” Pepper said, waving as she walked over to her car. Tony was happy, apparently almost dying builds friendships with awesome strangers.

Tony liked the outside. After so long in the hospital with everything smelling like disinfectant and the horrible florescent lights it was good to be outside. Even if outside meant sitting on a bench just outside the hospital doors. He was getting some sun, which Clint and Natasha would approve of because they insisted that it would improve his mood. 

The only terrible thing was that whenever people came and went they would glance over at him with a look of pity as they scanned his swollen and bruised up face and at his mangled, somewhat there arm. He eventually just started ignoring them completely, they weren’t going to ruin his nice day out. Tony began to rub at the stump again, this time without hatred or grief. This was just another thing. Like his thing about chairs, it was bothersome but he could live with it. It was just another adjustment he’ll have to make from another near death experience he can add to his personal history. Also, Pepper didn’t seem to mind.

A distant explosion pulled him from his thoughts. His head snapped up and eyes were immediately on the pillars of smoke coming from far off. That was the direction the SHIELD base was in, something must be happening. It was probably the rest of the team. He heard whispered conversations between Clint and Nat about something involving SHIELD and the new hellicarriers.

“Tony, come back inside.” Natasha said firmly, standing in the hospital entrance. 

He nodded and followed her back to his room. He practically collapsed into the bed and within a few minutes Clint ran in too, relieved to see Tony back. 

“Next time you decide to run off, tell us first.” Clint said, pulling his chair up close to Tony’s bed. “We just got you back and things are dangerous right now.” The tv was still on, displaying the news as three large hellicarriers began falling from the sky, engulfed in flames. Natasha quickly turned it off.

“They’re doing what they’re supposed to. They are going to be just fine.” She said, sitting on Tony’s other side. 

Doctors and Nurses ran frantically down the halls. It was probably due to the fact that SHIELD was being torn apart not far from the rest of the city. People were coming in from fear and panic and Tony understood. He hated being close to explosions and it always led to bad moments for him.

“Tony, the team had to destroy SHIELD.” Clint said, looking at him closely. Tony just shrugged, he was doing a lot of that lately.

“Okay. As long as they don’t hurt everyone there I don’t see much of a problem.” He said. Sure, he liked SHIELD. The organization was full of people who saved his life, like Clint and Nat or when he was stuck with Stane and Hammer and he had the SHIELD bracelet on him. However, it looked like the most recent bad people worked for SHIELD so he couldn’t really trust it anymore. Except for the team, Coulson, and Hill. Maybe Fury, since he heard he was still magically alive but the man hated him.

“To do that they had to release all its secrets to the public and destroy the hellicarriers. The hellicarriers are taken care of but the secrets might be an issue.” Natasha said calmly. Tony frowned, he didn’t like where this was going. “Secrets like missions we’ve done, things we’ve done, not all of it is particularly heroic. Secrets like two of some of the greatest assassins in the world adopting a kid.”

Tony continued to frown, looking closely between the two of them. “Whatever you guys did isn’t as important as what you do now. You never did anything to hurt me so I trust you guys, if that’s what you’re wondering. And I’m safe with you guys. I’ll just be a little more careful wondering about alone.”

“We don’t know what’s going to happen but we’ll do everything we can to make sure you’re okay.” Natasha said, reaching out and taking his hand.

“Yeah, we like you, you big nerd.” Clint said, smiling softly at him. Tony nodded. He would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Pepper bonding. It's wonderful.  
> The rest of the team comes back next chapter.  
> Comment, it's the highlight of my days.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, you guys are all beautiful and add so much sunshine to my life. Thank you!  
> Anyway, new chapter. Had to write an imitation poem for my Creative Writing class. I based my poem on the best poem ever, Emily Dickinson's "I Head a Fly Buzz - When I Died".  
> My university has a cafe that makes the best breakfast burritos I've ever had.  
> That's what I've been up to. Feel free to tell me about your day.

Steve was wheeled in that night. Apparently everything was going well on the hellicarriers until Bucky showed up to stop him. Steve couldn’t fight Bucky, Tony understood that. He had only spent about a day and a half with the man and not even Tony could do anything to harm him. It must have been one hell of a fight for Steve, super-soldier Steve, to end up in the hospital with a worse looking face than him.

Tony walked down to his hospital room with Clint and Natasha. Everyone else was probably still out taking care of the last few HYDRA agents or cleaning up the area because only Sam was with him. It would seem that people like to visit their new friends in the hospital.

“Hey, Sam. Must have been one hell of a party.” Tony said, looking over at Steve. The man was sound asleep. Sam looked up and smiled sadly at him. “Everyone okay? Is Agent Hill safe?”

“The cutie? She and everyone else is doing fine.” 

“Do you just fall in love with almost everyone you meet?” Tony laughed. 

“Yes, it’s a terrible curse.” Sam said. He paused and looked Tony over carefully, making sure he’s alive and okay. “I’m sorry, about everything. I was-“

“Nah!” Tony said loudly, standing next to Sam’s chair while Clint and Natasha moved to sit down. “I am a magnet for terrible things. I actually think I’m getting used to it.” 

They stood around, waiting silently. Steve was already starting to look better after a few hours, bruises yellowing and cuts healing together. That was good, he’ll be up and about in no time. Then they could fix everything and go home.

“What happened to Bucky?” Tony asked, shifting his weight between his legs. Sam looked up, confused.

“He didn’t kill Steve. He had every opportunity to but when he shot at him he missed vital organs. He has a metal arm with the strength to break concrete and he didn’t even punch him hard enough to break any bones. Steve fell into the water, almost drowned, but Bucky pulled him out.” Sam said calmly. Tony would have smiled if Steve wasn’t lying unconscious in the hospital. He knew Bucky wasn’t bad, he was just confused and doing whatever the real bad people said. “Then he took off.”

“He’ll come back. He is Steve’s best friend.” Tony said.

They were back to sitting quietly. Tony was feeling okay, HYDRA was gone, SHIELD was gone, Bucky was free trying to find himself again, he was getting used to the whole one arm thing, and everyone was mostly okay with Steve healing from injuries that weren’t lethal. Tony wasn’t that upset anymore.

Tony went back to his room after a few hours. Because of everything going on Happy texted him to tell him that he and Pepper wouldn’t be able to make it over that day. Understandable seeing how huge flying metal vehicles were falling from the sky as fireballs. Tony didn’t mind, gave him a chance to be alone with his thoughts and start planning what to do with his arm. 

Bucky had an interesting setup. His arm was sleek, strong, good finger mobility. It moved almost like a real arm. Tony had built a robot that can fold laundry and a miniature arc reactor that kept shrapnel from tearing apart his heart, he could make a pretty decent arm. Could probably use some help once he got started.

“What happens now?” Tony asked. “I take it your covers have been blown. Probably moving again.” Clint nodded.

“Maybe change our names, leave the country. We could finally go to Canada like we planned!” Clint said, smiling brightly.

“Are you being serious?” Tony asked. He narrowed his eyes at him. “This sounds exactly like what spies would do. Canada sounds lovely but I’m not sure if it’s for me. Too many polite people and everything’s so good up there with their free healthcare and maple syrup. I’m pulling into stereotypes now, that’s rude. My apologies to our friendly neighbors to the north.”

“I wasn’t being serious.” Clint said. “You’re rambling. You do that when you’re not sleeping.”

“Not true, sometimes I just lay around all day and let you guys worry.” Tony said, smirking at them. “Okay, may have had a rough few nights but now I think I’m good. I think I’m coping. I don’t usually do that this quickly.”

Clint and Natasha smiled then, accepting his answer but insistent that he at least try to sleep that night. Tony would agree to anything they suggested at this point. Not because he was too tired to make his own decisions but because they were always right. 

They stayed up while he tried to fall asleep. It took a few hours. He knew he was tired and actively trying to sleep but still had trouble getting there. Natasha started to stroke his hair, singing quietly. Clint sat next to her and hummer along. They didn’t stop for a second until they knew he was sound asleep. He dreamed he was back home and everyone was safe.

The next morning was exciting, he was leaving today. Clint said they packed up the house because now that SHIELD was gone and all their covers blown then it would be safer to move again. Tony didn’t mind, the house wasn’t his home. They were staying at Sam’s until they could find another place. 

Tony insisted that he dress by himself, refusing all offers of help. He had to figure this out on his own. It took awhile, trying to slither into his clothes with only one hand to hold them still. He was proud of himself, it only took him about ten minutes to get everything on. Buttoning his jeans proved to be the real time consumer but he eventually got it. He could do this, just had to do things a little differently. 

He called them in once he was done. He plopped back onto the bed as Clint and Natasha walked back in. Tony was excited to get out, he’s spent enough time in hospitals and he was determined to never come back. Besides, Sam’s house was nice.

The doctor came in to remind him about checking the stitches, looking for infection, and how to wrap it. Finally, he was released. Good thing too, he had been planning to break out if the doctor didn’t stop talking soon. They got out and drove to Sam’s.

The rest of the team was there, exhausted from taking down the hellicarriers and visiting Steve during the night. Tony slipped passed them quietly once he saw Bruce passed out on the couch. He didn’t see Thor anywhere.

“Tony, my young friend! It is good to see you again.” Thor shouted from the kitchen as they walked in. Bruce lifting his head. “I am so happy you have returned.”

Thor picked Tony up in a gentle yet firm hug. Tony smiled as Bruce rushed forward to try and wrap his arms around Tony and Thor’s massive frame. It was the most awkward group hug he’s ever experienced. When they put him down they looked him over carefully, eyeing his missing arm with concern. Tony knew it was coming so he took a deep breath and prepared for the pity.

“This is a grievous wound. The mark of your battles, it is honorable.” Thor said. Tony wasn’t expecting that.

“I didn’t get it in battle. I yanked on handcuffs and then it got badly infected and doctors had to take it.” Tony muttered.

“And in doing so you escaped your attackers. It was a personal battle for your freedom and that is a noble pursuit.” Thor smiled, patting Tony’s shoulder gently. 

“Okay. Thank you.” Tony said, giving a slight smile and nodding. Bruce opened his mouth to say something before Tony pointed at him and cut him off. “If you’re going to say anything short of ‘Hey Tony, you’re awesome’ then I probably don’t want to hear it right now.” Bruce closed his mouth and smiled slightly. He hesitated a moment.

“You’re awesome, Tony.” Bruce said, pulling the kid into another hug. 

Dummy and Lucky gathered around them. He bent down to pet the dog and pat the robot on the head. Lucky just licked at his face desperately and Dummy wrapped its mechanical hand around his shirt. Tony was happy to see them, he missed them. 

They decided to have a Harry Potter movie marathon. Thor had never seen them and Tony managed to convince him that there were actually wizards on Earth that go to a magic school. The whole night seemed off. Tony decided that it was just Steve’s absence because he never missed a movie night with the team. It definitely wasn’t all the worried, strained looks everyone kept subtly throwing him. Tony wasn’t going to acknowledge those.

Tony eventually decided to just go to bed. He was given the guest room and Sam gave Clint and Natasha his room. Thor was going to sleep on the couch and Sam and Bruce would sleep in the recliners. Tony walked into the bedroom, the same one he slept in just a week ago while everyone else checked out New Jersey. It was familiar, yet still felt different.

Lucky and Dummy followed him in. He plugged in the robot to charge and crawled under the covers. Lucky curled up next to him and was a constant, reassuring warmth as he drifted to sleep.

His dreams that night weren’t as pleasant as the ones he had had recently. These dreams, nightmares, were filled with screams from the people he knew were long gone but were still terrified of. Howard was in prison, couldn’t get to him but Tony could make out his voice anywhere. Stane was dead but Tony could see him reaching for his broken arm just before his vision went dark. That was the worst part of these dreams, the bag that went over his head. He couldn’t see anything, but the sounds were enough to frighten him.

Tony jerked awake. The first thing he noticed was the red blanket, his red blanket. Clint and Natasha must have gotten it when they packed up the house and put it on the bed. He grabbed it immediately and pulled it over his head. Tony felt like he couldn’t breathe and there was an uncontrollable trembling to his entire body.

He used every method he knew to try to calm down. It’s been awhile since he woke up in the night as panicked and terrified as this, over a week. That was a new record and considering everything that had happened in that week it was surprising. He gradually evened out his breathing and stayed curled up under the wonderful blanket Natasha had given him.

Then he noticed Lucky’s soft growling. Tony didn’t want to peek his head out just yet to see what was bothering him, he wanted to spend just a few more minutes in calm safety under the blanket. The dog’s growling became slightly louder and shifted next to Tony.

He uncovered his head then. The first thing he noticed was that the door was closed, which he found weird because he left it open when he went to bed. Then he noticed the dark figure at the other end of the bed. Someone was in the room with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder who it is....!!!!!.....!.! (No I don't, I know who it is) (evil laughter)  
> Anyway, all my possessions for a moment in time. (This moment, where I get to hang out with you guys through the power of story telling)  
> Comment, It really makes my day getting to read what I have to say and it helps the writing process. You guys are so important to this thing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 1:30 in the morning. Why am I doing this?  
> A lot of interesting guesses on who the mystery figure was.  
> Was it a dangerous potential threat or harmless gentle person? Let's find out now.

Tony wasn’t the type to freeze up when he’s afraid. At least not anymore. He also hasn’t gotten into the habit of orchestrating well aimed attacks when he was in harm’s way and terrified. So instead he jumped off the bed and scooted himself into a corner with his legs, blanket firmly gripped in his hand.

He whined loudly as Lucky jumped down to lay at his feet. The figure knelt down, hands in the air. Tony’s mind was racing over everyone it could possibly be. Probably some HYDRA agent come to kill him because he managed to escape. It could be Howard, come to get him finally. Whoever it was, they were just sitting a few feet away with their hands up.

“Sorry. I heard Lucky growling and you sounded upset so I came to check on you.” Tony sighed in relief. It was just Bruce. He relaxed, slumping against the wall.

He came over and put a gentle hand on the boy’s shoulder. Tony curled into the man’s chest and took a shaky breath.

“Don’t sneak up on me.” He muttered.

“Sorry, sorry. Just worried about you.” Bruce said, patting Tony’s back.

“I’m fine.” He said. He stood up and climbed back into bed. “Bad dream.” Tony felt exhausted again. He had panicked twice in only a short time and he just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tony shook his head at Bruce’s question. He didn’t want to talk about it, he wanted to forget it. He wanted to forget being afraid of Howard and HYDRA and Stane because none of them could hurt him now. He wanted to forget all the bad stuff and have a normal life for once.

“Why was Lucky growling?” Bruce asked. Tony shrugged and buried his head into the pillow.

“Leave door open.” He said, voice muffled.

“Okay, sorry. Force of habit.” Bruce said, smiling softly.

“Why?”

Bruce’s smile dropped a bit as he shrugged. Tony looked up at him, questioning him silently. 

“You don’t want to hear this now.” He said, Tony just continued to stare. Bruce hesitated a moment before sighing. “Fine but if it bothers you, tell me.” Tony nodded and sat up. “My dad wasn’t a nice guy. He drank too much and he hated me. However, he preferred to ignore me most of the time so I would always be in a different room than him and I would close the door every time I entered a room so he wouldn’t pass by and notice I was there. It’s just a habit that stuck.”

Tony understood. He was familiar with the feeling of wanting to be invisible or to disappear. He knew this was really personal for Bruce. Tony could tell he was getting a bit upset, not the Hulk kind of upset but the remembering the bad things kind of upset. 

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to do everything now.” Tony said softly. These things always made him feel better. When he had a secret to tell and someone tells their own secret to make it easier. It worked with him. “I’ll do my best to do everything by myself but I’m worried I can’t build anymore or open a jar of peanut butter.” Tony shrugged. Bruce smiled at him.

“You can still do everything. You just have to find a new way of doing it.” He said. “When I got the other guy I tried to stop doing everything to avoid frustration. Didn’t exactly work out so I had to find calmer and easier ways to live and it’s going okay right now. Just need to figure out how to do everything over again. Shouldn’t take too long since you already have a basic knowledge.”

Tony nodded and laid back down on the bed. Bruce seemed calmer, Tony felt calmer. Now he just wanted to go back to sleep. He curled up under his blankets, throwing the red one over him and sighing. 

“Leave the door open.” Tony muttered into his pillow. 

He didn’t end up falling right to sleep. Lucky was perched on the end of his bed, looking around at everything with a cautious eye. Tony called him over, patting the bed next to him but the dog refused to move. 

“You probably just heard a cat outside or something. Paranoid.” Tony said, burying his face back into his pillow.

 

The next few days passed without anything out of the ordinary. Steve came home after a surprisingly short hospital stay, almost completely healed. Tony joked about it bitterly, when he was shot in the abdomen it took him weeks to get to move around almost normally.

Tony, Thor, and Steve just sat on the couch, watching tv while everyone else went about their day. Clint and Natasha went house hunting while Sam and Bruce went out for groceries. It seemed pretty normal, like every other time they sat around and watched tv. They didn’t talk about Steve’s best friend who turned out to be alive and brainwashed or the fact that Tony was kidnapped and its results. They just sat in a comfortable silence and watched cartoons, which Thor watched intently.

“We got an apartment.” Clint said, walking through the door happily. 

“Well, we bought an apartment building.” Natasha said, following behind him. “The owner was going to sell it to some company that wants to tear it down for a parking garage and Clint didn’t want to see everyone go out on the streets so now we own it.” She looked over to glare at Clint, who was just smiling and nodding as she spoke.

“Well, we the owners get the best, largest apartment and I think there are some empty ones for any teammate who would want to move in.” He said. Clint was rocking back onto his heels like an excited child.

Thor became overjoyed, shouting about how wonderful it would be to have the whole team in one building again and how Jane would be happy to move over since Thor’s address was released from the SHIELD files and into the public. She was getting sick of all the fans showing up. Steve smiled.

“That’s great, I can’t wait to move in. I just have something I need to get done first.” He said firmly. He looked serious and determined. Tony knew what he meant. He also knew that the moment Steve healed completely he’d be out looking.

“Bucky’ll come back.” Tony said. “He just has to figure stuff out first.” Steve nodded and sighed, turning back to the tv.

The rest of the night passed quietly. Bruce and Sam made some food that Tony’s never heard of before but smelled delicious. Clint helped change the bandages around his arm and then he was passed a plate. He balanced it on his knees while eating as everyone discussed moving. Sam was invited to come along on any saving the world mission he picked. Steve said that although there wasn’t a SHIELD anymore and no Avengers Initiative without it they were still heroes and were going to do what they had to do what was best to help people.

No one was sure when Tony fell asleep. Clint and Natasha were just describing the building to Thor and Bruce. Steve and Sam discussed where to go to look for Bucky with cartoons playing in the background until they looked over and saw Tony curled up in the corner of the couch. He snored lightly with his arm and legs curled up close to him. 

Clint picked him up gently and carried him to his bed. Tony whined at the sudden shift of movement. He squeezed his eyes closed and fell back to sleep as his head hit the pillow. He slept soundly, not a single terrifying thing crept into his dreams that night.

He woke up in the middle of the night again, not from any nightmares or sounds. Something just felt off. He blinked at the clock, three in the morning. He groaned and sat up. It was too early for this. He saw that the window was open, letting in the humid summer heat. He almost stood up to close it when he saw the figure standing in the corner.

“Jesus, Bruce. What did I tell you about sneaking up on me? I’m fine, go back to bed.” Tony said, waving his arm towards the door. He didn’t move. “Bruce?”

It wasn’t Bruce. The build was all wrong and always answers his questions. Tony went over everyone in the house it could possibly be. He was too short to be Steve, not as muscular as Thor, more muscular that Sam, and he knew for a fact it wasn’t Clint or Nat. Tony looked back at the open window and frowned.

“Great. Goddammit. You’re lucky you caught me on a good night.” Tony said, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. “This isn’t really the kind of house you want to break into, pal.”

The stranger didn’t move but continued to stare at Tony. He opened his mouth to call for help when he saw it. The small sliver of light coming in through the window from the streetlights reflected off of the man’s hand. 

“Bucky?” Tony said. He didn’t expect a response but he climbed out of bed and walked slowly over to the figure.

It was Bucky, disguised in casual clothing and covered in dirt and sweat. Tony reached out his hand slowly as he stopped in front of him. It was definitely him. He put his hand softly on Bucky’s shoulder. He seemed to snap to attention then, taking a cautious step back and Tony dropped his hand.

“You were there.” He whispered. Tony leaned forward slightly to hear but Bucky didn’t say anything else.

“Yeah. I was there.” Tony said, having a pretty good idea about what he was talking about. “Steve is here. Do you want me to go get him?” 

Bucky shook his head slightly. He reached out his flesh hand and almost touched what was left of Tony’s arm, trembling slightly as he went near it. 

“I’m sorry. I…” He trailed off, pulling his hand away. "Your dog... it growls when I try to come here."

“No no. You didn’t do this. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all the other people, they were bad. You’re not.” Tony said slowly. He was tired but he couldn’t have him run away. Bucky looked out the open bedroom door and into the darkness of the hallway. "You tried to come earlier? That explains why Lucky's been freaked out lately. Don't worry, you're safe here. Steve's here, he was worried about you. Clint and Natasha are great at protecting and taking care of people so you're set. Bruce makes good food."

“They hurt you.” Bucky muttered. Tony frowned slightly.

“Not the people here. They’re good people and they don’t hurt me and they won’t hurt you.” He said. He tried to talk as calmly as possible, hoping he was saying the right things. “The other people, HYDRA. They sort of hurt me. Mostly my fault though.” 

Bucky looked towards the window, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion with his breathing picking up. He was going to make a run for it. Tony thought quickly, trying to think of something to get him to stay, at least until morning when everyone woke up. Sure, he could just wake them up now but he needed to calm Bucky down and convince him to stay.

“Are you hungry?” Tony asked, smiling softly. Bucky looked back at him. Tony hated the face he made. He looked terrified, confused, and desperate. “Okay. If I give you food will you eat it? You won’t get in trouble.” Bucky looked at him, looking for something in Tony’s face before nodding. Tony led the way quietly to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was Bruce!! They had a lovely heart to heart.  
> Then Bucky showed up. Yay.  
> Comment, I'm going to bed and if I wake up to wonderful comments it will be the best day ever.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back. I'm doing well, thanks for asking. I hope you guys are doing good too.  
> I wrote another chapter. I seem to be doing this a lot at night recently. It's almost 1am.  
> Living on the edge.

Bucky sat quietly at the kitchen table. He kept glancing around, freezing up every time the sound of a loud snore drifted in from the living room where everyone was still asleep. Tony would whisper calmly to him until he relaxed again. 

Tony decided to make him a bowl of cereal. He put the bowl down on the counter and let Bucky pick which cereal he wanted. When he didn’t respond to him whispering out cereal names he just laid all the boxes on the table and told Bucky to pick. He stared at them for a few minutes before pointing to the chocolate cereal. He opened the box and poured it into the bowl, shaking it a bit too much and having cereal spill all over the floor.

“I’ll clean that up later.” Tony muttered. 

He grabbed the gallon of milk from the fridge. He put it on the ground to hold it with his feet to get leverage to turn the cap. Tony was pleased that he got it open, he definitely could still do everything by himself. He left the milk abandoned on the counter and put the bowl onto the table. He handed Bucky a spoon and sat down on top of the table, away from the man so he could eat in peace.

Tony rested his feet on a chair and yawned. He looked at the clock, it was 3:30 in the morning so he had about an hour and a half to keep Bucky here and convince him to stay before Steve and Sam woke up. Tony rubbed his eyes, fighting off sleep. He glanced back over to Bucky, who had finished his cereal and was sitting quietly in front of a bowl of milk. 

“You want your milk?” Tony asked. Bucky tensed up immediately. “Hey, it’s cool. You don’t have to.” Tony jumped down from the tabled and took the bowl. He put it in the sink quietly and returned to his spot sitting on the table. 

“I’m sorry.” Bucky muttered. Tony tilted his head, confused. Bucky glared at Tony’s left arm, what was left of it, and clenched his metal fist tightly. He looked out into the hall, ready to bolt again. 

“No. I’m fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. You never hurt me, not once.” Tony said softly. Bucky continued to stare down the hall but didn’t get up to leave. “So, have you just been hanging around the house?” Tony asked. Bucky gave a slight nod.

That was interesting news. It also explained Lucky’s recent tendency to just stare out windows or growl in the middle of the night. Good thing he was sleeping in with Clint and Natasha now. He thought about Steve, who was planning to run off with Sam to go looking for the guy but he was already here.

“Why?” Tony asked. He turned on the table and crossed his legs so he was facing the man. Bucky stopped staring at the exit and looked straight at Tony before glancing around again, confused.

“You were there. I remember you… in that place. But you weren’t.” Bucky trailed off. 

“I wasn’t… one of them? The bad people?” Tony asked, hoping to keep him talking or at least occupied enough he wouldn’t run away. Bucky nodded. Tony figured that was good, he didn’t think of him as a bad person. 

Bucky seemed slightly calmer. Tony stretched and laid back onto the table, if he was going to wait another hour or so for someone to wake up then he was going to be comfortable. Bucky didn’t seem like he was going to run off and he owed it to Steve to make sure best friend was safe and sound.

Tony fell asleep, curled up on the kitchen table. He’s not sure what woke him up next but when he lifted his head and looked around sleepily Bucky had moved to sit between him and the door, almost protectively. Natasha and Steve were standing cautiously in the doorway. Natasha’s hand clutched tightly to her gun but it wasn’t raised towards anyone.

“Hey, guys. Don’t mind Bucky.” Tony said, yawning and sitting up. “He came over for breakfast and I fell asleep.” 

Bucky still sat between them, looking at the people gathered at the door. Natasha looked closely at Tony and Bucky before putting the gun down and walking in slowly. She walked around the man sitting at the table and walked up to Tony. She lifted his face and examined him closely. Tony wasn’t hurt, not any more than usual.

Bucky glanced anxiously between Steve, who looked like a nervous puppy, standing in the doorway and Natasha. He looked at Steve with a mixture of concern and familiarity. Tony smiled softly at him. 

“Don’t worry. These are the good people I told you about.” Tony said. Bucky nodded and remained in his seat. Natasha started dragging him out into the living room while Steve walked in slowly to talk to Bucky.

 ~~~

Bucky decided to stay, much to Tony’s delight. They immediately moved into the new building. Tony and his parents got a large apartment on the ground floor, since they were technically the owners and landlords now. Bucky lived with Steve, feeling comfortable enough to live just down the hall from Tony. He visited often, Clint and Natasha called it ‘Breaking and Entering’ but Tony preferred visiting at all hours of the night without knocking. Tony liked it, Bucky would sit around the apartment and watch everyone intently.

Thor and Jane moved in upstairs. That was also good because Tony was determined to get her to help him with developing intergalactic space travel. Thor had become friendly with everyone in the building in just a few days and was constantly getting himself invited to dinner or telling wore stories to a group of children in the stairwell.

Bruce moved in too, on the top floor where he was away from all the loud children Thor entertained and his apartment was rarely broken into by cautious yet friendly master assassins. Tony had gotten into the habit of going up there to get some peace or talk about his upcoming project.

Things had been going great for a few days. Then Pepper called him to talk about how great school was going and how she hadn’t seen him recently and wanted to hang out. Tony agreed quickly, throwing on his clothes and having Clint drive him over to her house.

“Have fun! Don’t do anything you know we would be upset about!” Clint yelled out as Tony walked up to the house. 

Pepper greeted him happily, introducing him to her cat and her parents before dragging him off to her room to watch a movie. Tony thought her room was too normal. There were posters and colorful curtains and pictures, his room was full of spare parts and robots and he even had Jarvis back. Tony thought this level of normal was weird. Living with superheroes was getting to him.

“Okay. So we can either watch The Dark Knight or The Princess Bride.” Pepper said, smiling over to him. “You pick.”

“Princess Bride.” Tony said enthusiastically. Pepper raised an eyebrow as she opened the case. “What? It’s a cinematic masterpiece that will withstand the test of time. Everyone should see it. It’s going to play at my funeral.” Tony smiled at her as she nodded along and turned on the dvd player.

“I’ll give you that. It’s a wonderful movie.” She said. Pressing play. 

They watched the movie for a good while, laughing at all the dry humor and wonderful characters. After a while Tony started talking about the big project he was planning, that’s what he was calling it. The Project. She nodded along, intently listening and asking questions. 

Tony paused to let give her time to contemplate all the science and engineering he had been rambling about. He doesn’t know what set him off but he was always up for talking about science and engineering, two things that always seemed to make sense.

“It sounds brilliant, Tony.” Pepper said. He smiled brightly, inhaling to start talking again.

Then her mouth was on his. Tony froze. It was nice and he reveled in the softness of her lips. He liked her, Pepper was amazing and listened to him when he spoke nonsense and so far was fine with everything he did. Of course, she hadn’t been anywhere with him yet where he would be expected to sit in a chair. She hadn’t seen him on a bad day. She hadn’t seen him breakdown and curl up under his bed until everything horrible went away. He suddenly felt nervous about this whole thing.

Tony didn’t think it would be fair to her. He pulled away and looked towards the exit. He was a mess, he couldn’t throw his problems on more people. Tony felt his heart rate pick up and he knew he had to get away.

“The time is passed the time I need. Great movie.” He said quickly. “I had a wonderful time and should probably get back to the thing I’m late for.”

“Okay.” Pepper said, looking him over closely. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Do you want me to drive you home?” Tony shook his head as he walked over to the door.

“No, you’re fine. Wonderful, not fine. And by ‘wonderful’ I mean a lovely human being who has potential for great things and is really nice.” Tony said. He opened the door and started to walk out. “I’m rambling so I better get going. Stay wonderful.”

He practically ran out of the house. Tony walked a few blocks, going over everything he thought he had just screwed up. Not only would she have a terrible time dating him but he would be selfish to want to at least try. He had too many issues and Pepper was a seventeen year old girl he met when he collapsed in on her study party. Tony groaned and sat down on the street corner, he even met her by being completely full of issues. It was bad enough he was throwing all his issues at the team and they had Bucky to focus on now. He quickly pulled out his phone and called Clint.

“Dad, come get me. I… I’m having a bad time.” Tony whispered into the phone, looking around. 

Clint was there in just a few minutes. By then Tony was almost hyperventilating. He parked the car and sat down on the curb.

“Tony, what’s wrong. Tell me what happened.” Clint said, speaking calmly. Tony leaned into him and let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry. For everything.” Tony whispered. Clint wrapped an arm around the boy. “I want to go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh. Poor Tony.  
> I should just rename everything 'Poor Tony Part 1', 'Poor Tony Part 2', and 'Poor Tony the Series.'  
> Comment, about anything. I don't even care at this point I just like comments.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all lovely! My wonderful readers are the sunshine of my life.  
> A local pizza place makes a 30 inch pizza and it's beautiful.

Tony locked himself in his room as soon as he got back. Clint and Natasha decided to give him his space but checked on him every few hours to make sure he was okay. At eight hours, which was the amount of time he was allowed to lock himself away, they unlocked the door to open it and keep an eye on him.

When Tony came home he immediately crawled under his bed, wrapping himself up in his special red blanket and blocking out the world. He spent a few hours under there, ignoring any thoughts or feelings that bubbled up in his mind. He hated it, didn’t feel like he was breathing and none of the calming techniques his therapist taught him were helping.

He crawled out once he did manage to breathe deeply. He curled up onto his bed and stared out the window. It wasn’t much of a view but he needed something to focus on and it was either that or try to talk to Jarvis. Tony didn’t feel like talking.

He heard the door open but didn’t bother looking up to check it. He knew it was his parents. When he got into a mood they wanted to keep an eye on him to make sure something bad doesn’t happen. Not that anything could happen to him when he just lay in bed but he did have that sort of luck. Dummy wheeled out of the room quickly and came back carrying a glass of water, leaving a trail of spilt water across the apartment.

“No. Go away.” Tony mumbled. Dummy continued to stand by the bed until he sighed and took the glass from him. Tony placed the cup of water on the bedside table right next to his laptop.

“Sir, I believe Dummy is trying to help improve your current mood.” His laptop said in Jarvis’s crisp British accent. Tony sighed and rolled onto his stomach. He ignored Jarvis and buried his head into his pillow.

Tony stayed like that for a long time. He ignored Jarvis occasionally mentioning something he found on the internet that might be useful. He ignored Dummy dragging a random assortment of items over towards his bed. Mostly he ignored Clint and Natasha. One of them would walk into his room every thirty minutes to try to talk to him. When he wouldn’t answer they would sit on the edge of his bed and stroke his hair.

As much as he enjoyed being alone, he also liked it when they came in to check on him for those few minutes. They got his mind off things as he took in how calming it was having them sit close to him and how they just knew he loved it when they stroked his hair. Then they would leave him alone for a little while and he would rejoin his plummeting thoughts.

He felt horrible. Clint had spent months teaching him archery, the man’s favorite pastime, and Tony was really getting good at it. Then he messed up and lost his bow arm. It was all because he couldn’t stand handcuffs. Another thing Tony couldn’t stop thinking about was everything that happened back with Stane and Hammer. Being handcuffed and tied up and beaten and drugged.

Tony shuddered as he thought about it. How he still can’t sit in a chair because he’s afraid that he’ll be tied to it and it’ll take him back to everything he’d rather forget. He couldn’t have anyone put anything on his head because he was afraid they would cover his eyes and do horrible things while he couldn’t see. Or worse yet, leave him sitting in the dark for hours and hours, all alone.

Tony knew he was screwed up. Just thinking about all the reasons he wasn’t good for people brought him back to a panic. He didn’t think he was good for people. Clint and Natasha already spent too much time trying to help him and Rhodey called at least twice a week to make sure he was doing okay. Tony felt terrible for that and he felt even worse that he almost shoved all his problems onto Pepper just because he liked her.

A hand started to run its way through his hair when he realized he was curled up tightly into his blankets, shaking violently and sucking in short, desperate breaths. Tony looked up at the person stroking his hair; he hadn’t heard Clint or Natasha come in. Bucky pulled his hand away quickly as Tony’s head shot up.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky said. Tony looked at the open window. Bucky must have broken in again and him being the highly trained assassin he was, Tony didn’t notice or hear a thing.

“You’re okay. Don’t apologize.” Tony muttered before he buried his face into his pillow again. “What are you doing?” He asked as the hand returned to his hair.

“You like it when they do this.” Bucky said quietly.

Tony sighed. Of course Bucky knew that. He was super observant. Of course he knew that Tony loved having someone stroke his hair. Sure, it was calming and Bucky was surprising gentle but he seemed terrified enough most of the time without have to deal with Tony during his bad moments.

“Go away.” Tony said. Bucky stayed.

“Do… do you want cereal?” He asked. Tony almost laughed.

“No. I want to be alone.” Tony said firmly, rolling away from his as Bucky reached back to stroke his hair. He was pleased that he could keep his voice steady even though he was shaking and felt like he was on the verge of crying.

There were a few minutes of silence. Tony was sure he had left and curled up tighter into his blankets. Dummy came wheeling in, dragging a pillow into the room. The robot dropped it in the pile of things it thought would help Tony before wheeling excitedly to the other side of the bed. He rolled over to see what the robot seemed so excited about and groaned at seeing Bucky, still standing quietly between the bed and the window.

“I thought I said to leave me alone!” Tony whispered angrily. “Traitor.” He said bitterly as he glanced down at Dummy, who was hanging onto Bucky’s metal arm firmly and made the happiest beeping sounds.

“You should be quiet. I don’t think they like me.” Bucky said quietly, looking down at the robot with interest. Tony rolled back over and pulled his blankets of closer to his chest. “Are you scared?”

Tony froze up for a second before grabbing his blankets and rolling under his bed. He didn’t feel like talking anymore. Not to Jarvis, not to his parents, and not to Bucky. He was afraid. Tony hated it because he was afraid of people from the past who were dead or in prison and couldn’t hurt him anymore. He was afraid of HYDRA even though they were being taken care of. He was afraid of harmless objects and people doing simple everyday things and Tony hated all of it because he had no reason to be afraid. Clint and Natasha promised to protect him and they were here now. Yet Tony’s pointless fears were ruining everything for him and everyone around him.

Tony felt a helpless whine leave his throat and covered his head with his arm. He wanted to be okay so everyone could stop having to deal with him and go one with their lives. Tony wanted to crawl out from under the bed and go do something to prove to everyone they could stop worrying, that he was fine. He couldn’t. His arm stayed curled up over his head and his body stayed bunched up into a ball under his blankets.

The summer heat crept in through his blankets and baked the air around him but Tony couldn’t stop shivering. Large arms wrapped around him and dragged him out from under the bed. Tony went completely still, heart racing as Bucky placed him gently onto the ground next to him and sat down.

Tony breathed heavily as he sat under the window next to Bucky. He wanted to crawl back under his bed, he was safe there. Bucky patted his shoulder and Tony leaned into him. He felt safe here too for some reason. Bucky never hurt him.

“Thanks.” Tony muttered.

“You will overheat under there.” Bucky said.

Tony curled up on the floor, pulling his blankets back over on top of him and pressing into Bucky’s side. He was still afraid of things that couldn’t hurt him anymore but the warmth of super strong ex-soviet assassin next to him was oddly comforting.

“Are you ever scared?” Tony muttered. There was a long silence. Bucky shifted uncomfortably under him, like he wanted to pull away but couldn’t. Tony sat up and moved over slightly.

“Sometimes. I don’t know what to do.” Bucky muttered. “No one is telling me what to do anymore so I have nothing to do but wait for them to come back for me and…” He trailed off.

Tony saw his whole body clench up. Bucky remained as calm as possible, controlling his breathing and not moving a muscle for a few minutes. Tony wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again. _I shouldn’t have done that._ Tony thought desperately. _Why do I always open my big mouth?!_

“I don’t know what’s allowed yet.” Bucky whispered after a few minutes. Tony kept his head buried into his knees. “I don’t know what happens if I do something that isn’t allowed. That scares me. Back then it was pretty bad but I don’t think it will be like that with all of you. You’re not one of them.” They continued to sit there on the floor. Tony’s breathing was still shallow and his heart still felt like it was pounding too fast but he wasn’t shaking anymore. He grabbed onto his red blanket, the one that Natasha had given him and comforted him whenever he needed it and handed it towards Bucky. A slight smile appeared on his face as he reached out and took.

“You can do whatever you want. The only real rule is ‘don’t hurt people’. If you start to do anything inappropriate we’ll tell you.” Tony said. “No one’s going to punish you for asking questions or going for a walk.” Bucky nodded, looking intently over at him.

“I don’t want to forget again.”

They didn’t say anything after that. Tony just curled up on the floor in the corner and Bucky sat under the window, staring at the door. Clint came to check on him, right at the moment Tony expected him to, and nodded at Bucky. He didn’t seem the least bit surprised to see him there. Of course not, Tony should have realized he was in an apartment with three master assassins.

Clint came in and picked Tony up into his arms, carrying him out into the living room to eat dinner. He looked back to see Bucky climb back out of the window, leaving the red blanket behind. Natasha had put all the plates onto the coffee table and put on Tony’s favorite cartoons while Lucky sprawled out onto the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh. I'm tired.  
> More soon. Interesting stuff soon. Interesting to me, maybe not to you.  
> Comment and win a prize (my love and affections)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished another one. I'm unstoppable.  
> My creative writing professor asked me what kind of writing I did and I told her about my Marvel fanfiction and she got excited about it and started asking questions and it was embarrassing. I pulled up the comments on my phone and she says that it's impressive. Thanks guys for helping me impress my professor.  
> Italics are what is spoken in Russian.

Tony didn’t leave his room very often. After a few days he wasn’t curled up in his bed or hiding under it but he still stayed in his new room. He was well underway in completing his ‘project’. It was coming along smoothly and he had two sets of blueprints drawn up.

It was a mechanical arm. Similar to Bucky’s but these were made with lighter materials so as to put less strain on the shoulder and the fingers and elbow moved in fluid accuracy that mimicked a flesh hand perfectly. Tony had spent weeks designing it, and a few days working nonstop because he refused to leave his room. He had never been happier to have read so many engineering textbooks and watched online lectures from the world’s top universities. He sold the design for 100,000 dollars.

Sure, it wasn’t the 250,000 he got from hacking SHIELD for the bad guys but he preferred creating the most high-end prosthetic on the market to helping the forces of darkness. It was so satisfying he decided to make a mechanical leg later. The other set of plans were for a similar arm, this one designed just for him, it was different in a few key areas. He’ll have Bruce help him figure out how to connect it to the nerves in his remaining arm and connect it to the arc reactor for power.

If Clint and Natasha were surprised at the boxes of materials that were delivered they didn’t mention it. They didn’t question all the money that appeared in their accounts though. They just told Tony how proud they were of him and let him work, under their supervision so he doesn’t hurt himself.

Bucky came by often to watch him work. He had gotten passed the climbing in silently through the windows sort of breaking in and just started using the door. It was faster. He started talking mostly in Russian, a language he wouldn’t mention how he picked up. Natasha was pleased, forgetting the attack HYDRA made him do weeks ago. Clint had gone back to not wearing his hearing aids around the house so Natasha would sign everything the man was saying. Steve hated it, but had started taking lessons from her so he could understand.

Tony liked speaking Russian to Bucky while he sat in his room and watched him work. Tony thought it was weird but he enjoyed it. It was almost like they were friends. Tony was currently ignoring the calls of the only two friends his age he had in the area because he felt that his tendency to have panic attacks or flashbacks would be too much for them. Bucky was a ninety-five year old soviet assassin that recently broke free from nazi brainwashing and was relearning freedom. Tony thought it was very strange but he did think they were starting to become friends.

Tony was six days of not leaving his room and he still wasn’t sleeping more than a few hours a night, if that. It was also six days since he had last seen Pepper and decided not to see her and Happy again because his issues would drag them down. She called and texted every so often to ask about him and to apologize but he never answered. Happy came by a few times as well. It didn’t take too much work for Tony to convince Clint to tell him he wasn’t home every time he showed up.

“ _Why are you not talking to your friends_?” Bucky asked in Russian, sitting on the floor by the door as Tony sat across from him in a pile of wires and metal.

 _“I am broken. I can’t burden them_.” Tony said in the same language. He held down two pieces of metal with his feet and started to screw them together. “ _People get attached and then they try to handle your problems with you but they can’t.”_

Bucky sat quietly and pondered it for a while. Tony was going to use his drill. Clint was sitting on the bed as supervisor so Tony was allowed to use dangerous tools.

“ _Should I leave Steve?_ ” Bucky asked softly. Tony looked up quickly causing Clint to frown in worry. Had he been wearing his hearing aids he would have heard what they were saying.

“ _You should do what you want to do. You’re free to make that choice._ ” Tony said, looking back down at the project in front of him before looking back up. “ _You shouldn’t listen to me. I may be a genius but I’m an idiot. You need people. Sometimes I don’t feel like getting up and eating or going outside but they make sure I do because they love me and want me to get better. I just get into a mood sometimes and start thinking bad things about myself and start thinking I should push everyone away because I’m ruining everything.”_

“ _So I should stay with Steve?_ ” Bucky asked. Tony shrugged and started wiring a different part of the arm.

“ _If you want to. You have to make your own decisions now.”_

 _“I don’t know how._ ” Bucky said, looking down at his hands. Tony sighed and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand.

How on Earth was he going to explain to Bucky the concept of personal freedom? Tony hasn’t even left his room in six days except when one of his parents would drag him out to have meals with the family. He knew he could never possibly understand the level of brutality and torture Bucky must have faced with those people but he still felt like a prisoner in his own room. In capable of leaving and clinging to the familiarity and safety. He had no right to tech Bucky anything about freedom.

“ _No one can tell you how_.” Tony whispered desperately. _“If you want something, work for it. If you want to do something, do it. If you have something to say, say it._ ”

Tony was starting to feel very uncomfortable. He was certain he was teaching Bucky, innocent looking and impressionable Bucky, all the wrong things. He felt like a fraud, giving lessons on freedom when just a few minutes ago he said he should cut all ties with his friends.

Oh my god, I’m so stupid. Why do I say anything. Tony thought sadly. Bucky doesn’t need to hear what I have to say. What if I accidently tell him to lock himself in his room and hide under his bed for days. That won’t be good. Tony hadn’t noticed his breath picking up or how he started gently rocking himself with his arm wrapped tightly around him until large arms circled around him tightly. His heart skipped a beat and he almost jumped away as he looked up to see Bucky hugging him awkwardly.

Clint was half off the bed. He looked like he was on his way to come comfort Tony but stopped as Bucky came to do it. Tony didn’t feel like pushing away, he just looked at his dad and leaned into Bucky. A metal hand came up to gently stroke his hair and Tony let out a shaky breath. Bucky was right, he did like it when people did this. He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that with Clint watching them intently but he waited for what felt like hours before talking.

“What are you doing?” Tony said in English.

“Comforting you?” Bucky said, he sounded unsure.

“Why?”

“Because… I want to.” He said. Tony smiled slightly at that, burying his head back into his shoulder.

He was relieved. Tony still felt like he was fucking everything up but at least Bucky was doing something because he wanted to do it and he acknowledged it. It was good.

Tony decided to call Happy to let him know he was alive. His friend sounded more relieved that he had ever heard him although Tony turned down every invitation to go hang out or have him come over. Tony didn’t feel ready to start socializing again. He told Happy to tell Pepper he was okay and hung up quickly. Then he did another thing he hadn’t done in almost a week, he walked out of his room willingly. Natasha smiled pleasantly at him as she started setting plates on the coffee table around the couch and Bucky went back to his apartment.

Bruce had brought them down dinner. Tony didn’t know what it was, he never did know what kind of food that man made. Today it was some sort of spicy food and it was delicious. He shoveled forkfuls into his mouth and watched cartoons while pretending not to see his parents on either side of him staring him down.

“Are you alright?” Clint asked. Tony sighed and looked over at him, he had grabbed his hearing aids sometime between the events in his room and walking out to eat dinner.

“I’m fine.” Tony said. Clint just raised an eyebrow and looked over and Natasha. “Okay, so I got a bit upset earlier. Bucky wanted me to explain to him how freewill and stuff worked and I’m not sure how to do that.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes, waiting for him to continue while Clint just frowned. Tony sighed, he didn’t want to explain it to them. They had already done so much for him so how was he going to explain that he had failed them. However, they never lied to him so he couldn’t do that now.

“I’m still doing it. I’m ruining everything. I was doing good for a while but I feel like I’m taking two steps back. I think I’m stupid and useless and that everyone would be better off without me.” Tony said, staring down at his plate. He wasn’t hungry.

“Tony, do you know where we would be without you?” Natasha asked slowly. Tony shook his head. “Well, first of all, your father didn’t get the idea of starting a family with me until you came along so without you we probably wouldn’t be married. We’ll still be living on that base in New York going on missions and having almost nothing to come home to. You’re our everything.”

Tony nodded slowly once she was done. She made a lot of great points but it didn’t change the fact that he could see the worry and heartbreak in their eyes whenever he was too scared to move or came rushing into their room in the middle of the night.

“Also, Bucky likes you. We’re not one to actively disagree with the Winter Soldier so if he likes you then you can stay.” Clint said jokingly. “Plus he’s apologized like ten times for attacking us. You’re good to him, helping him.” He looked over to Tony and smiled. “Before you came along we were just two master spies, part-time super heroes.” Clint said. “Now we’re happily married parents with a dog. Face it, Tony. You started to change our lives for the better the moment we met you.”

He smiled, nodding again at his parents. They were getting all lovey dovey again and he found it weird. Tony put his plate down on the coffee table and curled up on the couch, sprawling over his parents and falling asleep within a few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting my hair chopped off tomorrow. Will post selfies on Tumblr.  
> I've been promised fanart and I would love to see it! Not naming names but still, I like art.  
> You're all beautiful.  
> We've got time before any next major story plot event so I'm going to take requests on any minor things you guys would like to see in the story. Also to those who wanted Nat to give Tony 'the talk'..... I'm working on it.  
> Comment and it might be in it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done. I chopped off my hair and bleached it and it looks hella sweet.  
> Also, my creative writing professor found out I write marvel fanfics and asked me to bring some in. No.  
> Anyway. During Part 1 a few of you guys wanted this to happen, so here it is. The Talk.

“Tony, could you come here for a few minutes?” Natasha called from the living room.

He stood from where he was working. His project was coming along nicely, the fingers were moving as they should and the elbow could bend. He was still a long way from finishing but he was pleased with his work. He walked out into the living room, frowning at the projector set up and the odd smirk on Clint’s face.

“Have a seat, we just want to talk.” Natasha said, putting on her ‘mom voice’. Tony sat down nervously and Lucky hopped up to sit next to him. He desperately wished Bucky would make one of his surprise visits or Pepper and Happy would call at that very moment. Tony wasn’t that lucky, he had to sit through parenting. “You’ve been seeing that Pepper girl a lot lately, haven’t you?” She asked.

“Not in over a week.” Tony said. He frowned suspiciously.

“You like her.” Clint said, it wasn’t a question but Tony still nodded. Of course he liked her but that didn’t mean he was going to see her again and risk ruining her life. “Alright, well Tash I’ll leave you to it!” Clint smiled and walked down the hall towards their room. Natasha clicked a small remote and the projector lit up revealing a slide show titled ‘Teenagers and Sexuality’.

“No! Mom, no. We’re not doing this. Please.” Tony shouted out. Natasha ignored his protests.

“Tony, eventually you’re going to want to have sex. Unless you don’t ever want to have sex, that’s fine too and it’s covered in the slideshow but we still have to discuss all possibilities.” Natasha said, smiling softly down at Tony, who was blushing a dark shade of red and looked as if he was trying to melt into the couch. “Now, if you ever do decide to have sex, and it should be of your own freewill because if it isn’t I want you to chop the bastard’s head off. I’m getting off topic. If you decide to have sex we want you to be safe and prepared so your father went to the store and picked these up for you.” She pulled out a box and handed it to him.

Tony took the box and frowned at them. Great, his dad bought him condoms because him mom made him do it. This was probably the fourth worst day of his life, after the time the SHIELD base was attacked, the time Howard almost choked him to death, and after the worst day of his life back when Howard punched him in the face so hard his nose was pouring blood and his eye swelled up he couldn’t see. What made it the worst day ever was that he was crying so hard Howard locked him in the closet for the rest of the day. Tony shook his head, now he was the one getting off topic. He’d been going back and thinking about all these bad things a lot more lately. 

“Mom, can we please not do this?” Tony asked. “Not now not ever?”

“No Tony. What if you find a wonderful person you love and want to have sex with, or not have sex with? We want you to know how to do it and that it’s perfectly okay and natural. Now, on the agenda today we will be discussing the importance of getting and giving consent, different genders and sexualities, male and female anatomy, how to properly pleasure your partner, and different ways in which to have sex.” Natasha smiled. Tony looked mortified.

“Mom, please no. This isn’t how normal families have the sex talk.” He said. Tony fell back onto the couch and threw his arm over his head. The last thing he wanted was his mom explaining to him how to pleasure someone during sex. This was a nightmare.

“I don’t care how normal families do things. I met my husband because we were both assassins and he was sent to kill me. We’re not a normal family.” She said calmly and switched to the first slide about explaining what sex was.

“Holy shit mom.”

“What? Don’t worry about that, it was a long time ago and instead he got me a job at SHIELD and we ended up getting married.” She said quickly before pointing towards the screen projection on the wall. “Now pay attention because I’m going to be quizzing you on this when we’re done.”

~~~

Tony couldn’t take it anymore. He was just lectured on the spectrums of genders and sexualities and grew a deep understanding of them. He didn’t mind that or being taught how to ask for and understand someone’s consent or lack thereof. Natasha also told him that if someone didn’t respect his denial of consent then it was entirely appropriate to kill them or to tell her or Clint so that they could kill them. What he thought was awkward to learn about from his mother was which parts of the human anatomy were sensitive and pleasurable to touch and all the pictures.

“Good job with your ending quiz. You passed.” Natasha said. Tony nodded wordlessly and stood to leave. “Just remember there is an infinite number of things you can do to have fun with someone you’re intimate with. Such as inviting more people into the bedroom or role playing. There is even bondage, in fact your dad-“

“No!” Clint yelled quickly, running down the hall and waving his arms. “There is no more to discuss about any of this ever again.”

“Clint, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Tony needs to be educated.” Natasha says.

“Not about our business. Look at him.” Clint whispers quickly, pointing at Tony. The teen is staring at the floor, wide eyed and looking like he might throw up. “Go to your room and finish your work, kiddo. Feel free to forget what she just said about me.”

Tony took his escape, shutting the door behind him as loud as possible. Of course, his mother was a spy and an assassin. She thought it was more important to be surer educated on everything. Tony shivered in disgust for a second before turning to his laptop and turning on Jarvis. 

“How can I be of assistance, sir?” The crisp british voice sounded out through the speakers.

“How about something to make me forget about the last few hours.” Tony mumbled as he looked down at the metal skeleton of the arm.

“No.” A small voice came from the corner. Bucky stood frozen, half way in the window. Tony’s stomach dropped at the terrified look on his face. “Don’t let them do that to you. They can’t do that.”

Tony rushed over to Bucky, pulling him the rest of the way in through the window and lowering him gently onto the ground. The man’s body was shaking and he had a far off look to him. Tony wasn’t quite sure what to do so he did what everyone always did for him when he started to go off to a horrible place. He held Bucky, begged him to tell him where he was and describe what the place looked like or how it smelled.

Bucky eventually stopped shaking and looked more focused, but refused to let go of Tony. He held the boy close and inspected the room suspiciously as if it was a beast that would swallow them whole the moment he let go.

“Don’t do it. Don’t let them take anything from you.” Bucky mumbled into Tony’s hair. Tony would have smiled if he didn’t feel like shit, the two of them had been hugging an awful lot lately. “It’s horrible waking up not knowing who you are, where you came from. I’ve been thrust into a world I know nothing about and everything I’ve been remembering lately hasn’t been happy.”

“I won’t let them do anything. I promise I’ll remember.” Tony said, patting Bucky’s back lightly. They stayed in that position for a few more minutes until he pulled away suddenly and gave Tony a curious look.

“What do you like remembering?” Bucky asked, forcing a smile. “I… don’t really have a lot.”

“Well, I like thinking about when I first met my mom. It was last year. She was sent to spy on me so she told me her name was ‘Natalie’. Then I got to know her and she became ‘Natasha’. Now she’s just ‘mom’. I guess I don’t really know if I know her real name or not.” Tony said slowly. “My dad beat up my other dad. That also happened about a year ago.” Bucky narrowed his eyes. “It’s a long story. They’re not my birth parents, but I like to think of them as my real parents. My birth dad, Howard, wasn’t a good guy so Clint beat him up and rescued me. I like to think about that.” Tony smiled, looking back at his bedroom door as if he was expecting them to be there but sighing in relief when they weren’t. It would be embarrassing if they heard all this. “A few months ago, before we moved out to DC, Brucie and I convinced the rest of the team to have a Star Trek marathon. Original Series. It was great.”

“Is a year a long time?” Bucky asked quickly.

“Not particularly. No.”

“All your stories seem to be recent then.” Bucky’s curiosity seemed to take on a darker tone. Tony could only wonder what was going on in his head.

“Well, most of my happy memories have happened in the last year.” Tony shrugged, smiling brightly. “Mostly it’s because of the team. They saved me from a very bad place and now I’m doing pretty good and when they’re around I’m safe. You’re safe now too and we’re going to get you a lot of happy memories.”

“I like watching you work. I like watching Steve draw. You guys are my friends. Those are good memories.” Bucky muttered. Tony nodded, patted Bucky’s back, and went to work on his new arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Natasha would be very thorough and open to the gender and sexuality spectrums.  
> The offer is still up, make requests and I'll see if I can fit it into the story.  
> Small plot moments only and I'm not sure if I can do smut, never tried before.  
> Comment, your wish is my demand.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First exams of the semester coming up next week. yay...  
> Anyway, new chapter. This one took me a bit of work. What with homework and writers block and other stuff.  
> Hope you like it :D

Tony finished the arm. It was made of a very sturdy yet light weight metal and it was going to be attached to the bone and nerves of his left upper arm so he can move it all on his own. He just needed to find a lab to attach it, one that wasn’t government run because they were still bitter about the whole SHIELD/HYDRA thing and were looking for the Avengers. Luckily Clint and Natasha were smart enough to give everyone fake names when buying the building and moving in.

Advanced Idea Mechanics, they were a think tank that worked freelance in several major cities across the US. Not only that, but they had labs and doctors advanced enough to attach it. Tony had the money to pay them and they agreed to do it. He sat nervously on the floor of the waiting room, tapping the side of his foot against the tiled floor. He held the box with a piece of his prosthetic. It was just a thick round disc that would be fused into his stump and he could attach the metal arm to it. It would make it easy to upgrade later if he wanted. Tony waited, Clint and Natasha waiting patiently behind him. It was the first time he’d been out of the apartment in weeks but he felt it was a good enough reason.

“I’m not too sure about this. Why didn’t we just go to the Prosthetist? The hospital recommended a good one.” Clint asked, his arms were crossed tightly. Tony knew he did that when he was nervous. He found it a bit comforting to know he wasn’t the only one uncomfortable.

“Because I didn’t like any of the artificial limbs they showed me.” Tony said.

“Can’t force him to do anything.” Natasha mumbled just as a man walked through the door, calling them in.

He was a tall man. Tony thought he looked kind of like a human lizard in a grey suit and blonde hair combed back. He smiled at all of them and knelt down to be eyelevel with Tony. He leaned back instinctively before the man held out his hand.

“Ah, Tony. Aldrich Killian. I looked over your design for the piece you want our doctors to attach. You’re very brilliant.” He said. Tony smiled, he wasn’t vain or anything but he did love it when people called him ‘brilliant’. “Once this is all done I might just feel obligated to offer you a job.”

“He’s sixteen.” Natasha said firmly. “He’s wanted to go to college when he feels ready so he’ll do that before being employed at a privately funded think tank.”

“Think tank is such a weird thing to name your science company. Sounds like a high school club.” Clint mumbled before being elbowed by Natasha.

They followed Killian to his office. Tony hated the place. It was just a dull grey room that reeked of money. One of the walls was just a giant waterfall. What was the point of that? Killian sat down at his desk, that was covered in physics ornaments that just turned and moved by themselves, and crossed his hands over the shiny dark wood. Tony realized why he hated the place. It reminded him of all of Hammer’s offices and buildings. Being in those places ended well for him…

“We’re going to have to have the doctors reopen the wound to attach the device and it will take several hours to attach it to most of the nerve endings in your arm. Once you’re out of surgery you’ll be out of it for the rest of the day and it will be very sore for a few weeks so the doctors will most likely prescribe some painkillers.

Tony looked over at his parents, slightly nervous and terrified. Clint smiled softly and put a hand on his shoulder. “Just give them to me.” He whispered into Tony’s ear. “I won’t make you take them because I’m not a dick and if you think you need one you can ask nicely.” Tony smiled and gave a slight nod.

“Also, don’t use the attachment for that few weeks until your arm heals up.” Killian said quickly, nodding. “I would have preferred you brought in the rest of the mechanical arm for me to examine or at least the designs for it. The piece you have with you is outstanding and the prosthetics you designed that are going on the market soon are beyond anything I’ve ever seen. I’ve heard they’re giving discounts to military veterans, that’s wonderful. Would you mind if I have a look at the rest of the arm?”

“Yes, I’d mind.” Tony said quickly. Killian’s smiled didn’t drop but it did seem to become stiff and forced.

“That’s fine. I understand it’s probably a personal design and you want to protect your work.” He said, standing quickly. “Well, let’s get down to business. I’ll take you all down to our science and medical center and we’ll get to work.

~~~

Tony was cleared to leave. Everything went smoothly and the piece was attached. Aldrich Killian had scheduled a time in later weeks to have someone examine the seam to make sure the skin and metal were fusing properly. Clint carried a sleeping Tony out to the car and buckled him into the back seat. 

Tony mumbled something unintelligibly as they drove quietly. Whatever it was he sounded excited and happy about it but immediately fell back asleep. Clint carried him into the building, smiling at the neighbors as Natasha unlocked the door and wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Bucky sitting on the couch.

“Come on, man. We love having you over but learning to knock is good.” Clint said, smiling. It dropped slightly as Natasha rushed forward. Bucky was sitting still on the couch, staring at the coffee table. He hadn’t looked up or made any movement when they entered or spoke. They recognized the behavior.

Natasha started to comfort him, not touching him but talking softly and Clint carried Tony to his room and tucked him in. When he came back into the living room Bucky was still staring at the coffee table but he was at least whispering quietly.

“No one was here. You guys are always here.” Bucky said. “Tony doesn’t leave. He said he was safe here so he doesn’t leave and now he’s gone.”

“Bucky. Please look at me.” Natasha asked slowly. He hesitated a moment before looking up to meet her eyes. He looked terrified, worried, and sad. “Tony is alright. We took him out to so he can get ready to get his new arm. Remember? You like to watch him build it.” Bucky nodded slowly. “He’s asleep in his room. You can go see him if you want to.”

Bucky didn’t move for a few minutes, he just went back to staring at the spot on ring on the table from where Clint had spilt his coffee. His breathing picked up a bit until finally he did get up and walk slowly towards the room, leaving the door open behind him.

“He cares about Tony.” Natasha said. “That’s not good. He should be worrying about his own recovery instead of worrying about Tony’s safety all the time.”

“No, this is great. They’re friends. They understand each other and they can help each other.” Clint said. “They’re probably the only ones who have even the slightest idea of how the other might be feeling and that could help. Steve’s busy trying to take care of Bucky, we’re busy taking care of Tony, and they both just need friends to treat them like people who understand.” Natasha sighed, nodding.

“You’re making sense. You make me nervous when you get serious and start to make sense.” She said, sitting back on the couch.

“What can I say? Fatherhood suites me.” Clint leaned back and curled into her side. “They’re both getting better, you know?”

“I know. Bucky’s stopped staring down everyone as if they’re about to hurt him. He’s asking for stuff now, last week he would go all day without even asking for a glass of water. Don’t even get me started on the progress Tony’s made this past year.” Natasha said. “But I’m still worried.”

“They’re going to be fine.” Clint smiled slightly. “Everything is okay.”

“When does anything in our lives ever stay okay?” She said. Clint shrugged, pulling his arm around her.

“First time for everything.”

~~~

 

In Tony’s room, Bucky was sitting quietly on the floor by Tony’s bed. He watched the steady rise and fall of the boy’s chest and matched his breathing. He didn’t want to look down at the bandages wrapping up his arm because they weren’t important. What was important was that Tony was alive and that was good. Bucky liked that Tony was okay.

Tony’s breathing changed abruptly and he lifted his head to look bleary eyed at Bucky. He gave the man a crooked smile and rolled over onto his stomach, patting the bed beside him. Taking the invitation, Bucky moved to sit down onto the bed.

“Buck, goo’ see ya. I feel great.” Tony muttered, reaching over to grab Bucky’s metal hand. “You’re my friend. I like you. I’m glad we hang out.”

“Me too.” He replied. He breathed a sigh of relief and looked down at the tired and drugged boy. “We’re friends?”

“Yep. Friendly friends. Oh! You’re Steve’s friend?” Tony asked quickly, Bucky just nodded. “Is he bisexual, ‘cause I know he had the thing with the Peggy Carter. Or Pansexual. Or Demisexual, that means he has to get close to people to want to do the do. There are a lot of sexuals. Ask my mama to teach you if you’re confused. Just tell me if Steviepie likes more genders than just the ladies. I’m asking for a wonderful friend of mine who was hitting on my mom one time.” Bucky chuckled at Tony’s ramblings. He didn’t understand what Tony was saying but it was comforting to hear him talk when just a few minutes ago he was certain HYDRA had come to kill him. Or worse.

“I don’t know. I don’t know much about Steve.” Bucky said quietly. He looked out the window to examine all the pedestrians and cars passing. “I’ll ask him.”

“Thank you. My friend thinks he’s a cutie. But he also thinks Maria is a cutie, that’s what he told me on the phone the other day.”

“Who is it?” Bucky asked, narrowing his eyes at a jogger who stopped to tie her shoe just outside the window.

“Sammy Sam. Falcon. The second bird to join our nest of heroes.” Tony yawned and buried his head in his pillow. 

Bucky frowned, he had met Sam. He liked Sam a lot. He just didn’t think the two of them would be great together romantically. He thought Steve was a special sort of guy and so it was hard to find the right sort of person. The thought of the two of them in a relationship just didn’t sit well with Bucky, he didn’t know why. He’ll talk to it later with Steve. Later. Right now Tony had fallen back asleep and was still gripping his hand. Natasha was smiling at him in the doorway as he reached up with his flesh hand to stroke the boy’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter what happens with the feelings and Steve, Bucky still has a long way to go before he's ready for romance. Just like Tony. Whether or not some Steve/Bucky or Steve/Sam slips into this thing is irrelevant. What's important is that Tony and Bucky work out their issues.  
> Offer still up to add in any minor details you want. In part one someone asked for unicorns so I added unicorn stickers. It was wonderful.  
> Comments, they are my sun and stars.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chappie for a few days. Going down to Indianapolis for a few days and also I have some studying and homework to do.  
> Going to the zoo and children's museum tomorrow. Largest children's museum in the world, it's hella sweet.  
> Stay beautiful. I love all of you.

Bucky did end up asking Steve Tony’s questions. Mostly because his friend asked him to do it but also because he wasn’t sure what they meant and he was slightly curious. They clearly had something to do with Sam thinking Steve is a ‘cutie’ but that doesn’t quite narrow down the possible definitions of the words.

“Steve, are you bisexual, pansexual, or demisexual? I’m asking for a friend.” Bucky asked softly one day while Steve was doing dishes and Bucky was drawing little stick people in Steve’s sketchbook, he encouraged he draw in it.

“What?! Who’s the friend?” Steve said quickly, turning around and sending water and suds flying off his hands. His lips tipped up at the edges at the word friend.

“That’s not the important part of what I said.” Bucky muttered, lowering his head to look back at his drawing. It was Lucky and Dummy wheeling around his and Steve’s apartment making a mess. At least that’s what he tried to make it look like. He was a terrible artist. Not like Steve.

“It kinda is when you ask a question like that.” He says, turning back to the dishes.

“I don’t even know what it means. They just wanted me to ask you.” Bucky mumbled back. He suddenly felt very dissatisfied with his art and tore it out of the book, crinkling it up and throwing it on the ground.

Steve wiped off his hands and picked up the paper wad, smoothing it out and sitting down next to Bucky. He looked it over closely and smiled. Steve trailed his fingers over the dark pencil lines and looked back over at Bucky.

“I think it’s great. What do you think?” Steve said.

“It’s terrible and stupid.” Bucky said. They sat in silence for a second before he continued. “I didn’t do it right. I can’t do it better. I can’t do anything better. I’m not good enough.” He whispered.

“I think it’s wonderful and perfect just the way it is. You can see just how goofy the dog and robot are. You captured them perfectly.” Steve said, smiling. Bucky smiled a bit too. “I’m hanging it with the rest.”

Steve walked over to the wall behind the couch, the wall almost covered with papers of Bucky’s drawings. Most of them crinkled, some of them weren’t. He found a blank spot and taped it up, beaming at it for a second before returning back to the dishes.

“You’re going to have to tell me who the friend was before I answer the question.” Steve called out from the kitchen. Bucky didn’t like that, he needed to get the answer to Tony so he wouldn’t fail Sam.

“I don’t think I’m allowed to say.” He said.

“Bucky, we talked about this. You’re allowed to do whatever you want as long as it’s not hurting someone.” Steve said. “But I admire you trying to protect your friend.”

“Tony. He asked.” Bucky muttered.

“What? Well.” Steve said. He stopped at the think for a second. “I, uh, I think I’m a bit old for him.”

“No.” Bucky said. Steve turned back around to look at him, mouth opened to respond. “No, he wasn’t asking for himself. He also wanted to know for someone else.”

“Oh! I’m so relieved. Natasha would have killed me. That would have been… unpleasant.” Steve said, chuckling. “Who’s that friend?”

Bucky shook his head that time, turning around to glare at his art wall. “Not saying this time. You’re changing the subject. Just answer.”

Steve finished the dishes and put them all away in silence, still not answering. Once he was done he came back over to sit down next to Bucky. He turned to smile at the art before looking at him.

“They really are wonderful. You should be proud of yourself.” Steve said. “Bisexual is where you are sexually attracted to two or more genders, pansexual is where you love all genders, and demisexual is where you only love people you have strong emotional connections to. Natasha made sure I knew these things when I ended up in the new century.”

Bucky nodded slowly. At least now he knew what the words meant. It made sense with Tony saying that Sam thought Steve was a ‘cutie’. However, Steve still hadn’t answered the question. Was he any of those sexualities or not. He had to know so he could report back to Tony, that was the reason.

“I’m not sure what I am. I did love Peggy, but I also had very strong feelings for a man back in the day. It never became anything because I didn’t pursue the feelings. I loved him, wanted it to go further. But it didn’t.” Steve said slowly. Bucky frowned at the look on his face, he was looking off into the distance and he looked sad. “Just tell Tony I’m very open about everything right now.”

 

~~~

“You actually asked him that? Why?” Tony asked softly, sitting up on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. The pain of the nerves in his arm being wired into a metal device was too much for him to handle so he accepted to pain killers, trusting Clint not to give him so much that he would form an addiction. He was a bit dazed from the medication but more coherent than when they brought him home from surgery so he was just sitting in front of the tv watching some colorful European song contest he hadn’t heard about.

“You asked me to.” Bucky said. He was eating the tootsie roll Bruce had given him for knocking before walking in. He liked it, he got little treats when people told him he was doing a good job. He just wished it wasn’t for such little things. Sometimes it made him feel silly.

“Oh. Okay.” Tony said. He frowned slightly but nodded. “I don’t remember that.”

Bucky froze up slightly, clenching his metal hand. Tony didn’t notice him suddenly becoming tense, he was too distracted by the fact that his right hand felt very itchy and so he was rubbing it fiercely against the coffee table.

Bucky started trembling slightly. Dummy wheeled over and grabbed his hand lightly while Lucky jumped up onto the couch next to Tony, whining. His mind was racing to all the worst possible scenarios. What if they were lying to him? HYDRA could have gotten their hands on Tony again and made him forget and hurt him. Clint and Natasha could be lying to him. They were SHIELD and SHIELD was HYDRA. Bucky stopped. He knew that wasn’t right, they loved Tony. He was just a sweet little kid who needed protecting and they wouldn’t do something like that to him. He looked down at Dummy, old unicorn stickers covering the robot were faded and peeling. Tony must have put them there a long time ago.

He looked up at Tony quickly to make sure he was still there and froze. He had rubbed his hand raw against the table. Bucky’s heart stopped as he rushed away to rip Tony’s hand away from the table. Tony jerked away from him, pulling his hand close.

“What?!” Tony barked out. “Don’t grab me.” Bucky’s stomach dropped, was he too rough? He did have a bit of super strength from HYDRA’s efforts to make a super soldier.

“I- I’m sorry. You were hurting yourself. I don’t want you to do that.” Bucky whispered.

“Oh. Okay.” Tony said, sitting up normally so he wasn’t leaning away anymore. He went back to rubbing his hand subconsciously on the side of his sweatpants and yawning. Bucky didn’t try to grab Tony’s hand again, instead he went to walk to the bathroom.

Bruce was in there. He was watching Tony while Clint and Natasha went out grocery shopping. Bruce left him alone for five minutes with Tony and now neither of them was okay.

“Bucky, are you alright?” Bruce said, opening the door quickly as he pounded on it. He just shook his head and looked back towards the living room.

Bruce reached out slowly and put his hand on him. Bucky nodded. “I’m fine. I think I scared Tony.” He muttered out. To his relief, Bruce didn’t look shocked or angry. He just nodded and asked what happened. “He kept rubbing his hand on the table and it was starting to bleed so I yanked it away and he jerked away from me.”

He nodded and gently pulled Bucky towards the living room. Bruce walked up to Tony, sitting down next to him while Lucky just moved to climb onto Tony’s lap. Bruce gently moved to hold Tony’s hand. Bucky stood off to the side to watch.

“Hey, don’t do that. You’re bleeding.” Bruce said slowly. Tony frowned and looked down at his hand. The back of it was scraped up horribly and was bright red, bleeding slowly.

“Sorry. It’s itchy so I itched it. Didn’t even notice.” Tony said, turning back to the tv. “Look at her. She’s fabulous. I think she’s aww. No, Austria. She looks hella and sings beautifully.”

“Tony, you’re getting off topic. They put you on some pretty good pain killers but sometimes they have side effects that make you feel itchy. You can’t keep scratching or you’ll hurt yourself.” Bruce said slowly, nodding at Bucky to get the first aid kit from the kitchen.

He rushed to get it from the cabinet and held in gently in only his human hand. Bruce took it from him with a smile and started to disinfect the shallow scratches in Tony’s skin.

“I don’t get it.” Tony muttered, looking up at Bucky. He gave the man a lopsided smile.

“Confusion. Another side effect. I think they should take you off of those pills.” Bruce muttered. “Are you tired? Want to go lay down?” Bruce asked as he started to wrap Tony’s hand. Tony nodded and threw himself down onto the pillows of the couch.

“This is why I hate taking narcotics.” Tony muttered, burying his face into his pillow. “It makes your mind go away and then you can’t stop. I want to stop now.”

“Yeah, you’re going to stop. No more painkillers for you.” Bruce said, pulling a blanket over Tony and the dog while Dummy wheeled up to bring him another glass of water. “Although you’re going to be in a lot of pain later, okay?” Tony just nodded into his pillow. “Okay, go to sleep.”

“No! No. Ha, you almost tricked me.” Tony said, lifting his head quickly from the pillows on the couch. “Bucky still has to tell me what Steve said.” He waved Bucky over with his bandaged hand and Bucky would have tripped over himself if he wasn’t as surefooted as he rushed over to the couch. He was just relieved Tony wasn’t upset with him for grabbing him.

“Steve said he was very open about everything.” Bucky said. Tony sat up and pointed to the phone sitting on the coffee table, making along whining noise until he leaned forward to grab it for him.

“Thank you. Gonna call Sammy to tell him the news.” Tony said. He put the phone to his ear and gave another large lopsided grin. “Good work Buck. I must have known you could do it when I asked.”

Bruce sighed and scooted to the other side of the couch to give Bucky some room. He pulled out his book and continued reading. He didn’t have the slightest idea of what they were talking about and he didn’t really care. 

“Samilla. Sam. Samwise. Samson. Hey, Steve might not be straight. Yeah!” Tony said into the phone. “His words were ‘open to everything’ so you should get all up in that Apple Pie.”

Okay, Bruce was listening a little bit because now he was laughing loudly. He had to close his book and put it on the coffee table as he leaned forward to take a deep breath. “’Apple pie.’ Oh god.” Bruce muttered between breathes. “The great American desert.”

“Yeah!” Tony said, pointing over to Bruce. “What? Oh, okay. You really do fall in love with everyone you meet. Congrats, she’s awesome.” Tony said, smiling. “Hells yeah, come to dinner. Okay.”

He pulled the phone from his ear and put it on his chest. He smiled back at Bucky and Bruce. Bucky just looked confused between Bruce, who was still laughing softly, and Tony with his one-sided phone conversation.

“Eurovision is interesting.” Bucky muttered, turning back to the tv, still confused. They were rewarding points now and he enjoyed all the colorful costumes and how happen and excited everyone was.

“Yeah. We should go! Like next time.” Tony said. He pulled the phone back to his ear. “Mom and dad said it was okay. See you tonight.” He hung up quickly. Tony then threw the phone on the ground, Dummy wheeling over quickly to pick it up. He curled aback up on the couch, throwing his feet over Bucky and Bruce’s laps.

“Did you just lie to Sam?” Bruce asked.

“Nah.” Tony muttered. “They would have said yes to Sam bringing his new girlfriend over to dinner. She’s Maria Hill by the way. That man is just attracted to every adult on the planet, it’s so weird. You guys should come too.”

“He’s like Captain Jack Harkness.” Bucky muttered. Tony’s mouth fell open.

“How do you know about that?” He asked.

“I’ve been watching British tv with Jane and Thor.” Bucky said, shrugging. Bruce sighed and waved his hands in the air to catch their attention.

“Tony, you should really ask your parents about this sort of thing. You just had something implanted into your body yesterday and now you’re half out of it because of the pain meds. You need to rest.” Bruce said slowly. He stood up, slipping out from under Tony’s legs. “You’re attention span is barely five minutes right now. Rest.”

“You’re so bossy. You can’t do that. You’re not my mom. Only Nat is scary enough to boss me around.” Tony muttered, rolling onto his stomach. “Fine. I’ll go sleepy sleep. But wake me up if Sam and Maria show up. I like Maria. She used to be my babysitter and she’s totally awesome. Haven’t seen her in a while and I want to catch up.” 

“Tony, you’re rambling.” Bruce said softly. “Go to sleep.”

“Okay.” Tony said, burying his face in the pillow. “Bucky, don’t wander off. I want you to meet Maria. She’s cool. Wake me up when they get here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Maria will be returning because I love them. They are more of my loves.  
> I've noticed I've been having a lot of Bucky lately. Hmmm.  
> Shout out to Ystradwel who wanted me to mention Eurovision. I did. As an American I'm not that familiar with it but I did manage to stream some of it this year and it was awesome.  
> Comment, I love you.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, took longer to post this than expected. Had a great weekend in Indianapolis! Driving through Indiana you see a lot of great corn fields but in the city you have a lot of cool museums!!!  
> Also, finished my exams and assignments for the past few days. Worked hard on this chappie and a lot goes on.

Tony had fallen asleep on the couch just a few minutes after his parents came home from shopping. Clint didn’t call it ‘falling asleep’ because Tony was passed out and would not be waking anytime soon. Clint picked him up and carried him to his room, laughing at how he flopped about in his arms like a ragdoll. Natasha just frowned, she thought he was too much like a dead body instead of a sleeping child.

“I don’t want him taking those pills anymore. We’ll help comfort him as best we can but no matter how much his arm hurts he will not take them again.” She called out. Clint calling out an agreement as he laid Tony out in his bed and covered him up. Lucky jumped up to lay next to him while Dummy started pulling in more blankets into the room.

“I agree.” Bruce said, standing to leave. “They had him pretty out of it most of the day until he just crashed. The side effects also hit him pretty hard. He scratched open his hand pretty good. He should be alright, just be sure to keep it clean. He scared Bucky pretty bad when he did it.” Bruce paused to look over at Bucky, who was still sitting on the couch.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky muttered, looking up at them and frowning.

“For what?” Natasha asked softly. Bucky just shrugged. “I told you, it wasn’t you who attacked us back then and it wasn’t you who took my boy.” She said, walking up to him and took his face in her hands. “If I ever get my hands on anyone in HYDRA who hurt you and hurt him I will get my frustrations out. No one blames you because you are not at fault. Okay?” Bucky hesitated a moment, then nodded.

“I grabbed Tony.” Bucky whispered. “He opened up his hand and he was bleeding and he wouldn’t stop so I grabbed him to get him to stop and scared him. I’m sorry.” Natasha stopped for a second, thinking.

“You’re still fine. You were just trying to stop him from hurting himself too badly while he wasn’t thinking. You did just fine.” She said, smiling softly at him. “Next time just be a little gentler. He’s a bit nervous about people grabbing at him. He’s like that with everyone, even us, unless we are extremely careful and gentle so he knows he’s not going to be hurt.” Bucky nodded quickly.

It was Clint’s turn to cook. Natasha, Bucky, and Bruce sat on the couch watching some crime show Nat liked. It was a marathon and after a few episodes Steve came over to watch with them, sitting down and waited for dinner for the rest of them. After a few hours of Clint burning whatever he was making and everyone else just silently watching tv there was a knock at the door.

“Oh, I forgot to mention. Tony invited Sam and Maria over.” Bruce said, not looking away from the tv.

“Really? Tony invited people over?” Natasha asked, pulling open the door and pulling Sam and Maria in. “You guys look great.”

“You know I always do!” Sam said, smiling at everyone. “Where’s the kiddo? He sounded so excited about us coming over on the phone.”

“I haven’t seen him since the whole world went to hell.” Maria said. She looked around and nodded at everyone in the room.

“He’s not feeling well today. Out like a light.” Clint said, walking out of the kitchen. “I made tacos.”

Suddenly, Bucky just jumped up and rushed out of the apartment while everyone slowly made their way towards the kitchen. Steve paused from his conversation with Sam, who was casually leading him to the kitchen. It usually wasn’t a good sign when Bucky sped out of rooms like that, it usually meant he was panicked. He was about to excuse himself when Clint waved him on and walked out the front door. Steve sighed in relief before turning back to Sam, who was explaining how he and Maria met back up after the fall of SHIELD. Clint could handle things.

“She was looking for you guys and the last place she knew you were at was at my house.” Sam said, smiling as he grabbed a plate and started grabbing some tacos. “Apparently after your secret agency fell they didn’t have the people or the resources to keep track of you.”

Everyone piled up their plates and went back to the living room to sit down and eat since there wasn’t a table and chairs in the apartment. They all sat around the tv that was still playing Nat’s crime drama and continued their discussions. Natasha piled extra tacos onto plates and put them away for when Clint and Bucky came back and Tony woke up.

“Well, a lot of interesting things have been happening out in the world since everything we’ve been doing has been brought to the public eye so I came looking for the ones most people seem to be interested in. I just stuck around Sam’s for a little longer than intended.” Hill said slowly. “I still need to discuss it with you.”

“What is it?” Natasha asked calmly, her face almost emotionless if not for the fire burning in her eyes. “What are they saying?”

“Well, you guys are doing a great job at laying low so if you keep this up it’ll be a while before reporters or the government gets wind that you’re here. Another good thing is that Hulk approval ratings amongst the public are at an all-time high.” Maria said, smiling at Bruce. “Leaking our files painted you as more human to them.” Bruce didn’t seem interested in this news, he waved his hand about.

“But…?” He said slowly.

“Most of the talk in the papers is about how two of the bloodiest assassins on the planet have adopted a poor abused boy from Brooklyn, especially talk about how one of them was involved with the invasion of New York while the other is ex-KGB and half her history is work against our nation.” Maria said quickly. “It’s getting mixed responses from the public.”

“Like what kind of mixed responses?” Steve asked, looking over at Natasha. Her face remained blank as she stared down the hall towards Tony’s room.

“I read the papers and watch the news reports, a lot of people think your past is just that, the past.” Sam said. “I guess they see you doing the missions recently and helping people as you trying to change for the better. Then you adopt a kid who desperately needed a change in environment and, according to every SHIELD report, is an excellent mother. People respect you for that.”

“Then a lot of other people think you guys are unfit parents. With you guys having such a bloody history they claims to be concerned for Tony’s safety.” Maria said. “Luckily, he’s legally yours and can’t be taken from you guys by any legal grounds since you aren’t endangering his life or harming him in any way. We have official government documents that clearly state you both are excellent parents so you guys don’t have to worry.”

“That’s good. I’d probably do something regrettable if they tried to take him away.” Natasha said, turning away from Tony’s door and back towards the group. “I promised him we’d be his family forever.” Everyone smiled and sat quietly for a few minutes before Maria continued.

“That’s wonderful. Just be careful. There are a lot of upset people and a lot of dangerous people.” She said firmly. She then turned to Steve. “Now onto the topic of Bucky. Do you think he can handle this sort of discussion? Do you want me to wait for him to get back?”

Steve hesitated, looking back at the front door and then down at his untouched, cold tacos. He hated the thought of excluding Bucky from this but he trusted him, let Steve take care of him, and he would probably let him take care of him now.

“No, tell me now.” Steve said, shaking his head.

“When SHIELD went down we also leaked all of HYDRA’s information that was in SHIELD’s databases. It included some stuff on Bucky. The public knows he’s alive.” She said. “Also getting mixed responses. Some people are calling him a brainwashed POW while others are calling him a traitor. You should also be careful, protect him. Like I said earlier, people are upset and dangerous. He might also be brought in by authorities, if that happens we might be able to have some of our inside guys get him placed into your custody, legally.”

Steve clenched his fists angrily, trying hard not to throw something. He had just gotten Bucky back and he wasn’t going to let anyone take him away again. Not the remnants of HYDRA, not aggressive citizens, and definitely not by the government. He was Captain America, the people loved him and he had faith he could get them to see that what happened wasn’t Bucky’s fault.

“Inside guys?” Bruce asked, also leaving his food untouched. “I though SHIELD was gone.”

“Coulson’s rebuilding it. He’s got a team going.” Sam said, smiling. “I talked to him once on the phone. Seems like a nice guy.”

“We just have to keep everyone out of the public eye for a while, Steve.” Natasha said. “Keep using fake identities around everyone in the building and when we go out. They can’t find us here.”

They all nodded. She’ll have to talk to Clint when he gets back from talking to Bucky. They all had to work these things out. They could handle terrorists and assassins, but the general public was something she wasn’t used to.

~~~

Clint closed the door behind him softly, looking down at where Bucky was just sitting on the ground just a few feet from the door. He walked over to him slowly so as to not frighten him and sat down a foot away, close enough to touch if Bucky wanted to reach out but far enough away so Clint wouldn’t brush him accidently. He studied the man’s frightened face carefully, looking for anything that might helpful. He was terrified and completely aware of every sound and movement made in the area. Tony could tell by the slight twitching as Bucky just ignored Clint and stared down at his hands.

The situation kind of reminded him of the time when he convinced Tony to come back to live with them. Sitting with the boy in that run down hallway back in New York while he was beaten and afraid while Clint just tried to comfort him and give him a home. Bucky had a similar look in his eyes as Tony did back then, a look Clint hated deeply. It was distrustful, scared, and broken.

“I’m supposed to kill her.” Bucky whispered as Clint sat down. “I have a mission. I don’t know what to do.”

Clint understood. Bucky was sent to kill Maria Hill. He hasn’t done that yet and she was currently sitting in Clint’s apartment having dinner with his wife. “You were also sent to kill Steve and you’re not doing that.” He said, shrugging. Bucky just grumbled.

“‘s different.” He muttered. “What if I go back to how I was? Only remembering the mission and…”

“Do something regrettable? I was like that for a while. After New York.” Clint said. Bucky looked up at him, confused. “Oh, you were probably asleep for that.”

Bucky went back to staring down at his hands in disgust. Neither of them talked for a while, just listening to each other breathe and waiting. “I killed people just because they told me to. I remember it. It’s all I remember doing. Then they put me on ice and woke me up to do it all over again.” Bucky barked out. “Then they told me to kill her and I failed and now she’s here. I always did what I was told, what if I slip up? You would hate me. Tony would be disgusted. I can’t _not_ follow orders and everyone tells me to just do what I want and I can’t.” Bucky whispered. “I don’t want to kill her.”

“Then I order you to not kill her.” Clint said. Bucky looked up, thoughtfully. “You can still do whatever the hell you want, just don’t hurt anyone. Hell, I was ordered to kill Nat. Twice. Now I’m married to her.” Bucky looked back at him, confused.

“Why didn’t you?” He asked.

“The first time, because I read her file when SHIELD sent me to kill her. She was raised to be a killer. It was all she knew and it was all she had. She had no way out so I figured if I could offer her one she could have a chance at something better. A life she didn’t get before.” Clint said, not looking away from Bucky's hardening gaze. “The second time I didn’t kill her when ordered was with Loki. He got into my head. Told me to do it and I wasn’t allowed to say ‘no’ so I just went ahead and killed everyone who stood in my way. Luckily she’s a lot stronger than I am, snapped me out of it.”

Bucky frowned, looking at him closely before turning away. Clint didn’t like talking about these things. He didn’t like that all Loki had to do was say ‘Kill Agent Romanov’ and he was on the move, planning out strategies and going over her fighting styles. Worst of all, he remembered all of it. His thoughts were active in all of it and it seemed like natural things to be thinking at the time until the moment she slammed his head hard against that pipe and the wave of regret and wrong flooded him. Bucky was different, he didn’t remember it and the hurt him. Bucky was a victim, Clint was a tool.

“Did you think you would slip back into the mission?” Bucky asked slowly. “Did you sit by her and think about killing her and worry?”

“All the time.” Clint said simply, smiling slightly. “For months. I was so afraid that the hold he had on my head was still there that I would wake up one day and remember I was supposed to kill her and then just do it. Then one day I just said ‘fuck it’ and decided to focus on rebuilding the city I helped destroy and save, focused on loving my girl, saving the world, and after a while I got a kid so now I focus on loving and protecting him.” Bucky nodded.

“Are you still afraid he’ll come back?” Bucky asked. Clint’s smile dropped.

“Every day. But Thor says he’s dead.” He said. “HYDRA’s gone and you have us to protect you so you just focus on getting yourself back.”

Bucky looked back down at his hands. “You’re like me.” He muttered quietly. “You got your mind back. I can to.” Clint didn’t want to say that he didn’t lose as much as Bucky did, he didn’t think he was hurt as much as Bucky was. Natasha talked to him about it, said that someone taking his mind can be damaging, but Clint insisted he was fine. However, Bucky’s eyes lit up with hope and a small smile brushed against his lips and Clint would be his friend and let that man think he was like him in every way possible if he would be as hopeful as he was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 1:30 am, stayed up so I could give this to you. So if you see errors I missed in editing feel free to tell me so I may fix them and we can make this thing better together.  
> I love you all. My darling readers who are all so wonderful and dear to me.  
> * shameless self-promotion: whothefrickleisbucky.tumblr.com *  
> Comment, it is our primary form of communication. I sleepy sleep now.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a fanfiction.net account so I can upload my story onto there. Expand my readership and all that jazz. If you want to find me on there I am 'whothefrickleisbucky'  
> In other news, I have to write a character analysis for my psychology of the personality class so I hope this professor is ready to learn about some Clint fucking Barton. She doesn't know what she's in for.

Tony felt like his whole body was on fire and his stomach was doing flips. He lift his head and smiled to see two glasses of water, one half empty and surrounded by small puddles from where Dummy must have spilt it bringing it to him, and another full sitting next to it that someone else must have brought him. He drank down both glasses quickly and gratefully, fire shooting through the shallow cuts and scratches in his hand. He rolled back over and buried his head in his pillow.

He was exhausted, his head hurt, and his body ached. Tony had no idea what he could have possibly done to make him this sore but he certainly hoped it was a good time. Then he remembered that he invited Sam and Maria over. He lifted his head to look around, it was dark. Too dark to be dinner time. A quick glance at the clock revealed it was too late for anything, 4:38 in the morning and everyone was asleep.

Guilt and disappointment washed over him. He missed it. Tony liked Sam and Maria and he was excited to see them and he slept through their visit. He pushed himself up in bed, welcoming a fresh wave of agony that pounded its way into his head and the burn that seared into his stump when he moved it ever so slightly. Tony groaned at each movement, he wasn’t on the pain meds anymore. That was both a relief and an inconvenience because he couldn’t accidently become addicted to something he wasn’t taking but just leaning forward to stand up moved the muscles in his shoulders and arms and it hurt his whole left side. Who knew getting a cylindrical device attached to the nerves of the arm and fused into the skin while also wired up to a device in the chest for power could be so painful?

Once he was finally sitting up he stopped to catch his breath, Lucky jumped off his bed and ran out the door. Tome hated how extreme pain from the slightest movements seemed to wear him out. Not to mention, it was his left arm and he seemed to notice bad things always happened to his left side. He broke that arm several times, mostly he blamed Howard and when he finally was safe it turned out to have healed wrong so they broke it again. Then Tony was tied up in Justin Hammer’s basement in upstate New York when Obadiah Stane broke it again.

Tony shivered at the memory. He didn’t want to think about all things that had happened to his old arm anymore because he could swear he could still feel it, Stane’s large and angry hands curling around his tied up arm and squeezing until the bones popped again. He didn’t like this, now that he got going he couldn’t stop thinking about it and it felt so real.

It was too dark with just the glow from his clock to focus on his room to ground him. He couldn’t move around much without his body exploding into more pain and he didn’t want that. He whispered to himself desperately that it wasn’t real, his arm was gone and dead men couldn’t break an arm he didn’t have anymore. No matter how certain he was that there was no man hurting him, he was sure he was safe at home even if it was too dark to see it, he could still feel it and the darkness could just as well be the bag covering his eyes.

Then just as suddenly as they started the feeling of the hands were gone but the pain shooting up his left side was still very prominent. They were leaving him there in Hammer’s basement, alone in the dark and unable to see with his head covered for hours. He didn’t want to be alone, tied up to that horrible fucking chair for hours in the dark.

“Sir, are you in need of assistance?” A voice called out through the darkness. Tony held his breath, there was no one with a crisp British accent that he knew hung out with Justin Hammer and Obadiah Stane. He did think he recognized the voice though.

“Jarvis? Is that you, buddy?” Tony muttered quietly. “Are they gone?”

“I’m not entirely sure I understand. The motion sensors you installed have not picked up any movement since you awoke. Previously there was no movement since your father laid you down to rest.” Jarvis said. “Shall I turn on the lights?”

“Yes! Yes, oh god, turn on the light.” Tony said quickly while staying as quiet as possible. He will forever be happy that he got bored refusing to leave the apartment and gave access to all the lamps in his room and motion detectors alongside his camera. Maybe Jarvis’s wireless access to Dummy’s camera will also be beneficial to him someday so Clint will get off his back about buying so many parts.

The lights came up and Tony let out a breath of relief. It was his room, he memorized each detail and it was all his. He was home and he was safe. He still felt a tightness in his stomach, like soon the lights would click out again and he would end up tied up and alone. He needed to move, he couldn’t be alone.

“J, tell me something good.” Tony said, grimacing at the pain as he finally pulled himself up and stood, careful not to move his left shoulder.

“The errors in your typing are down to 27%, sir. Also, your typing speed has increased by 46%.” The computer said. “Your speed in finger spelling in American Sign Language has increased by 62%.”

“Thanks. That’s all good to know. Typing is hard, good to know I’m getting the hang of it.” Tony said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “And you try having a dad who keeps forgetting his hearing aids. I can’t sign words that need two hands and I don’t know if it will make sense with just one so I get a lot of finger spelling practice.” He smiled, glancing over to the laptop that contained his AI.

“I can only imagine, sir.”

“You don’t have to keep calling me that.” Tony said. “Where’s Dummy?”

“Dummy has plugged itself into an outlet in the living room, sir.” Jarvis said, sounding rather smug in Tony’s mind. “I suppose if I continue to call you ‘sir’ then it is a term of endearment.”

Tony nodded and held in a smile. Great, not the talking voice in his computer cared. Tony rubbed his eyes tiredly. He didn’t think he could go back to sleep, not in here, not alone. A talking AI on his computer didn’t seem like enough company.

He got up slowly, not stopping his movements even through the pain, and walked out of his room and down the hall. He slowly pushed open the door to his parent’s bedroom and waited. They were both sound asleep, Natasha curled up tightly and Clint hanging over the edge a little with his limbs stretched out everywhere. Tony thought about waking up Nat, if he shook her awake and called her name she would wake up calmly enough. However, she usually wanted to talk about how he was feeling and Tony didn’t feel up for that right now.

Clint is different, if he doesn’t want to talk about anything then Clint will just start rambling on about everything that pops into his head. Tony needed that, a physical person to sit next to him and just talk. He walked over to Clint’s side of the bed and shook him forcefully, smiling softly at the low groan coming from the man.

Clint rolled over onto his back and blinked up at Tony, glanced at the clock, and snapped his head back to his son before pushing himself up to sit. “Shit. Are you okay?” He asked quietly. Tony nodded.

“I’m going to the living room. Come sit with me.” Tony muttered. Clint tilted his head, tapping his ear. He sighed, forgetting the man didn’t wear his hearing aids that often anymore and certainly not to bed. He pointed to himself before spelling out ‘O.K’ and pointed out towards the living room and waved for Clint to follow.

“Sorry. I think I lost them. What’s wrong?” Clint asked quietly as he closed the bedroom door behind him. Tony sat down on the couch, making sure to turn on the light so he can see the room clearly and just pointed at the metal device attached to his left arm. He turned his hand as he pointed, indicating the sign for pain. “Is it… bothering you? We had to take you off the pain killers because we, as you parents, decided they were doing more harm than good.”

Tony nodded and put his hand up to his head. He couldn’t do the sign for flashback with only one hand but he could do the one for memory and that was good enough. Clint threw down some blankets on top of Tony and sat down next to him.

“So… do you want us to get you someone else to talk to? With Dr. Moreno and Dr. Larson you did so great but they were all SHIELD appointed so now we’ll probably have to find you a civilian doctor which might be difficult. It’ll take a while but we can get it done if you want.” Clint said.

Tony shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about therapy. He wanted to sit quietly and listen to Clint ramble about pizza and dogs and how he had to do plumbing for other tenants in the building, or that one time on a mission where it was hailing and he slipped and fell off a roof. Tony wanted that. _“No. You talk. I listen_.” Tony wished he could be more specific but there was only so much he could do when this idiot keeps taking out his hearing aids and losing them.

Clint seemed to understand though because he started describing how grocery shopping with Natasha was like. Apparently, they got into a big argument over whether or not to start buying organic vegetables. Clint didn’t think it mattered but Natasha wanted the family to be healthy. Clint then started ranting about how putting extra vegetables on pizzas when they ordered out was a great alternative.

This was exactly what Tony wanted, mindless chatter from someone sitting by him because it meant everything was okay and they were here to protect him and make sure he wouldn’t be alone for hours. Clint would make sure no one tied him to a chair and leave him in the dark. He was safe now. Tony yawned curled up to lay down, grabbing a pillow off the end of the couch and laying it by Clint’s legs.

Tony was exhausted, strange considering he had slept all day. He pulled up all the blankets close to him and let Clint stroke his hair as he continued to babble about wanting to get another dog but Natasha wouldn’t let him. His eyes grew heavy and pressed the side of his face into the pillow.

“ _Goodnight, my angel. Time to close your eyes and save these questions for another day. I think I know what you've been asking me, I think you know what I've been trying to say._ ” Clint sang quietly, mostly to himself but just loud enough to pull Tony back from his almost sleep.

“Is that Billy Joel?” He muttered into the pillow. “Are you singing Billy Joel?” Clint didn’t hear him, just continued his lullaby and if he noticed Tony was still awake he didn’t say anything. Tony wasn’t going to move and give himself away because it was usually Natasha to sing him lullabies and he wasn’t going to spoil this opportunity. He’ll have to tell Maria about it later, she’ll get a kick out of it and maybe forgive him for missing her visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I either have a cold (Weird time of year for it) or my allergy meds are temporarily not working and the outside is making me not breathe as well. Curse you plants and your tendency to make it difficult for me to breathe!!!!!!!  
> Also, We're going to start getting back into some plot stuffs soon so if you want me to do anything minor (like taking the gang finger painting or having a Game of Thrones marathon) now is the time to make your request.  
> Comments give me happy feelings. They're a major self-esteem boost and when I feel good about myself and this story I tend to write more *emotional manipuation* *evil laughter*


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first few chappies of Coming Home Again are now on Fanfiction.net *up to chapter 11 so far* to link it to yourself or friends here you go: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10701817/1/Coming-Home-Again  
> In other news, this chapter came out longer than expected and I still didn't fit in everything I wanted to so for my lovely friend, reader, and commentator Elantania who wanted them to go to a theme park, there will be more.

 

 

“How long is the drive?” Tony asked. He was clutching his backpack firmly to his chest as his parents packed up the car. Steve and Thor were putting stuff away in the car parked in front of them with Bucky and Jane sitting quietly inside. Bruce stood absently at his side, studying the maps to see which roads they would take.

“It’s a four hour drive to Coney Island. Bucky said he remembered the theme park so Steve thought it would be a great idea to take him out there and everyone decided to make a trip of it.” Clint said, casually reminding him. “It’s only for the weekend but if you changed your mind we’ll stay.” He stopped putting the few suitcases in the trunk to look over at him.

Tony almost took him up on it. But Bucky was excited for the trip, rambling on about roller coasters he thought he remembered and ferris wheels and cotton candy. Tony wanted to be there too. Also, he hadn’t left the apartment in a few weeks except the one time to have AIM work on his arm. He had another appointment next week to see if it’s healed enough for him to attach the rest of it. Other than that he’s just been tinkering with Bruce, watching tv with Clint and Nat, or skyping with Rhodey, Happy, or Pepper because although he thinks he’s too messed up to see them and hang out with them they’re still determined to talk to him. Mostly, though, he just sat around with Bucky. So if Bucky thinks he found a happy memory that doesn’t involve all the horrible things HYDRA did that he usually remembers then Tony wants to be there when he finds it again.

“No. I said I was going so I’m going.” Tony said firmly. He gripped his backpack tighter, as if it was a shield or something. He was safe home and inside but out here there were so many places people could be hiding and watching and waiting to attack. If they somehow got passed the abundance of superheroes his life decided to surround him with then all he had left was his backpack with his laptop, its charger, the red blanket Natasha gave him last year, and three bags of gummy bears in it. They were his last line of defense.

“Alright everyone, we’re heading out!” Steve called out, climbing into the car in front with Bucky getting into the passenger seat.

Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha slid into their car. They could all see Thor and Jane sitting in the backseat of the car in front of them, turned around and waving happily. They waved back as they pulled out to follow them.

Tony hated road trips. They went on for too long, flying was much faster as long as you weren’t flying to the other side of the planet. This was going to be a four hour drive and then a whole weekend in Coney Island, away from home, just to have another four hour drive back. About half an hour into the drive Jane had texted him to let him know that Steve and Thor had started singing drinking songs, Bucky was asking her twenty questions on why they were singing, and that if he would switch cars with her she would gladly help him build Earth’s first form of intergalactic space travel. He declined.

In their own car Tony was already getting annoyed. Bruce had fallen asleep next to him and he wanted to nap too. His sleeping schedule had been all out of whack the last few days since his surgery and they put him on/took him off pain killers. He wanted to sleep. However, his parents have gotten it into their heads that he was prone to depression and insomnia and all the doctors and therapists they talked to said napping during the day could make it worse so every time he tiled his head back to close his eyes a hand would reach back shake him awake. It was usually Natasha. She was more observant.

“Where are we staying when we get there?” Tony groaned, turning to stare out the window. He was half tempted to wake up Bruce. If he couldn’t sleep yet then no one should and it would be cool to see the Hulk again but they were super busy driving quietly to an amusement park. “And will I be able to sleep when I get there or do I need to wait for permission?” He asked bitterly.

“Tony… If you sleep during the day you won’t be tired enough to sleep at night.” Natasha said calmly, casually cleaning her weapons in the passenger seat. “If you’re going to be in a mood we’re going to turn around and go home.”

Tony sighed, he wanted to go home but also didn’t. He wasn’t quite sure how much sense that made but if he was at home he could just lay around and pretend absolutely nothing is going on. Now that everyone was up and doing stuff and he hated the feeling of being busy while surrounded by people. He usually enjoyed mental exercises but doing that the whole weekend sounded exhausting and if he wasn’t even allowed to nap in hopes he would fall asleep that night.

He decided against complaining against everything he felt like complaining about because he knew his parents and if they said they would turn around and go home then they would. Besides, he had spent hours googling ‘Luna Park’ with Bucky and he was excited. When Bucky was excited about something it was hard not to be excited too. Apparently the Cyclone was a big historical landmark now and even though Tony just thought it was a roller coaster Steve’s eyes lit up when it was mentioned.

~~~

Tony was overcome with relief when they finally did reach the hotel in New York. He was glad to be back in the city but mostly he was happy to be out of the car. He really hated long road trips, four and a half hours trapped in a car and watching the land go by outside the window was calming to some people but it made him feel bored and trapped. He felt like something was crawling up his stomach and on its way to burst out of his pounding head. He hoped that once they got checked in they would just rest for the day. Camp out in their hotel rooms and do nothing with the tvs on and go to the park in the morning.

“What’s the plan? Are we staying in today and getting up in that Coney Island fun tomorrow?” Tony asked, hoping to just crawl under a bunch of blankets and ignore the fact that he was in some strange new place and focus on the familiar sounds of his parents bickering or the motor sounds in Bucky’s arm.

He was wrong, of course. It was only midday and so they were going to go out to check out the Amusement Park before it got dark and then check it out again the next day. Tony was a bit thankful for everyone’s excitement of being out of town and seeing all the rides and crowds because no one seemed to notice what a horrible mood he was in.

“Wow, what a fantastic Theme Park. I can’t believe this place of wonder and fun has been around so long. What a miracle it has withstood the test of time and is still here.” Tony said, following everyone as they chatted happily and dragged him over to some of the rides.

They were waiting in line for a roller coaster, Tony wasn’t entirely sure which one because he didn’t bother looking up at the sign. All Tony knew was that there were people standing too close to him and he was tired and irritable. His head was pounding and the sharp feeling in his stomach just felt like it was coiling up tighter.

“I don’t want to ride it.” Bucky muttered, looking up at the roller coaster when they reached the front of the line. Tony quickly grabbed Bucky’s hand.

“It’s fine everyone. You guys enjoy the roller coaster and I’ll go sit with him over on that bench over there. No big deal.” Tony said quickly, dragging them away before anyone could protest. He pushed their way through the line and ignoring the angry murmurs from the crowd. “Excuse me, child genius and great American war hero exiting the line. Don’t mind us, please move.”

Tony continued to drag Bucky by the hand until they reached the empty bench several yards away from the line. He sat down immediately, he wanted to go home. Tony just wanted to take a fucking nap, that’s all he wanted. He didn’t want to be surrounded by the crowds and louds rides and nauseating smell of ice cream, cotton candy, and various other treats. He just wanted to be in his familiar room and resting, even if he wasn’t allowed to sleep until bedtime.

“How are you doing?” Tony asked, trying to get his lungs to work because at the moment they just felt like tightening up like his stomach was. He started stroking his injured left arm slowly and ducked his chin against his chest to protect his neck. He wasn’t scared, just making sure nothing would happen. He refused to panic because this was Bucky’s weekend. “You want to try a different ride?” Tony hoped he would say no, he didn’t want to have to wait in another line and have people brushing up against him and being close to the loud machines and smells of food. It was all too much.

“Maybe. I just didn’t want to ride that one.” Bucky said softly, not even looking over at him. He was staring up at the towering roller coaster in front of them. “I didn’t want to fall off. The last time I fell off something like that… I lost an arm and ended up with HYDRA.”

Tony nodded, not that Bucky was looking at him. “Well, it’s your trip so do whatever the hell you want. No one’s going to make you ride anything, ride the teacups for all I care.” Tony said bitterly. He didn’t see why he had to be here anymore. Bucky asked him to come and he did. He even stood in line with him but now Tony just felt the need to curl up with his red blanket and just listen to someone talk about nothing quietly and in a place he was familiar with.

They sat there in silence for several minutes while Bucky looked over a map and Tony glared at everyone passing by. When the rest of the team finally met back up with them Thor and Jane were happily discussing humans and their fascination with thrill rides while Steve immediately started asking Bucky if he was alright.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Bucky said calmly, glancing up from the map. “Can we go on the Teacup ride? Tony mentioned them.”

Tony sighed as he stood up to follow them. He decided not to ride anything, he would just stand in the least crowded area near the ride and just let everyone else have fun. He didn’t want to do anything right now.

Then someone just pushed passed him, hitting his stump and sending a wave of pain through his left side from where the metal device was still healing from being fused into the arm. That was it, the final straw. He was done.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” He barked at the group before turning around towards a building by the drink stands that showed the restrooms. He could just hide out in there until everyone was ready to leave.

“Do you need someone to come with you?” Steve called out.

“No! Oh my god!” Tony turned back, yelling. “I can go to the damn bathroom by myself without supervision. I’m not a child.” He stormed off, marching towards the bathrooms and locking himself in a stall.

He didn’t sit down anywhere, the place was probably disgusting so he just leaned against the stall door and held his head in his hand and tried to take a deep breath. He couldn’t, the tightness in his stomach had reached up to his lungs and he only managed small, frequent gasps. His hand shook violently as he rest his forehead against it and gripped his fist tightly, willing it to still.

“Tony, what’s wrong?” Clint asked from the other side of the stall door. Tony hadn’t heard him come in and if he wasn’t so used to living with super spy assassin parents he would have been freaked out more.

“I’m tired. We did too much today and I just want to go lay down.” Tony muttered. “I’ll just wait here until you guys are done having fun.”

“We’re not going to leave you alone in here.”

“I can be alone for a few hours just fine.” Tony groaned out, pulling his hand away from his head and stuffing it into his pocket and hoped it would stop shaking. “I don’t need constant watching. For fucks sake, I’m sixteen and you guys still give me babysitters when you go out.”

There was a short pause before he heard Clint sigh. “Tony, you like hanging out with these guys. You’ve never complained about them watching you before.” He said slowly. “You know we’re just looking out for you, right? Do you want to come out so we can talk about it?”

“No. And I know! I like them there but it’s not like I’m going to do anything.” Tony muttered. “I wanted to stay in but you guys just don’t _listen!”_

“Hey, you never asked to stay in.”

“Okay, I’ve highly implied it!” Tony yelled out. They should know what he means. They’re fucking spies, they should that all his complaining and all his groaning and sighing was him hinting at a horrible feeling eating him away inside. Whatever horrible, painful thing that felt like it was crawling itself up and trying to tear itself out of him felt like it had won. He felt destroyed and torn apart and didn’t think he could hold himself up anymore so he just opened the stall door.

Clint was there to grab him before he fell. Tony’s head felt like he was exploding and it took everything he had left not to throw up. Clint held him tight, patting down his hair and whispering softly.

“Hey, you’re safe. I got you.” He said. “Do you want to go home?”

Tony shook his head quickly. He couldn’t leave, this was Bucky’s trip. He just wanted to go take a break for the rest of the day, not another four hour drive back home where he wasn’t allowed to nap.

“Tony, you have to tell me what you want because otherwise I won’t know.” Clint said softly, giving a hard stare at a man who walked into the restroom before he backed out.

“Can I just… take a break? No people or theme parks? I’m tired.” Tony mumbled out as he focused on his shallow breathing.

“Sure. Yeah, whatever you want.” Clint said.

Tony felt terrible, partly because Bruce, Clint, and Natasha cut their first day in New York short to come back with him to the hotel but mostly because he felt like he was cracked open and something dark and mean crawled inside to mingle with the horrible clawing creature that was already there. Now he didn’t just feel irritated and exhausted, he also felt scared and upset.

The moment they got back to their hotel room Tony collapsed onto his bed tore through his backpack, pulling out his red blanket and threw it over him. He also dragged out one of his bags of gummy bears and just tucked himself away. Light filtered in through the red yarn of his blanket over him and he focused on the sounds of everyone moving around the room.

They had three rooms amongst the team. Thor and Jane had their own room with a single bed. The other two rooms had two king size beds and pullout couches. They were nice rooms. Bucky and Steve were staying in one room while Tony was staying in another with his parents. Bruce didn’t feel like getting another room just for himself and he definitely wasn’t staying with Thor and Jane but he hadn’t decided on who he was staying with yet. At the moment he was sitting on the end of Tony’s bed watching Pawn Stars.

Clint and Natasha were both standing in the bathroom and bickering over hair products. Tony was trying to force himself to relax because all of these sounds were familiar sounds, comforting sounds and yet he still felt the need to run away from everything. He shoveled another handful of gummy bears as he focused on the knitting patterns covering his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm evil. I know.   
> I am now done taking requests for now. Sorry again. I will let you know when I will be available to add any minor things you guys will be interesting to read about.  
> I have such wonderful plans for how I want this to go from here............ such happy, not angsty at all plans.  
> Comment, it fuels my soul.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word of warning. Longest chapter to date. Over 3,000 words.  
> In other news, I got my first piece of fanart for the series!!!!!!  
> I'm so happy, It's beautifu!!!!!!!!!!!  
> But thank you so much Ghyst_Lykes_It_Loud!!!! You are amazing and I'll save it on my computer and make it my background for everything. It's wonderful.

“Tony, you’re being really rude.” Natasha said calmly. Tony knew she was right, he was just lying on the bed in his hotel room munching on his second bag of gummy bears and refusing to uncover a single inch of himself from under his blanket.

They were all going out for dinner, then entire team except for him and Bruce. Bruce insisted that he had had enough of the public for the day and would just hang out in the rooms and Tony told Clint and Natasha to go out with everyone and go eat. He knew he wanted them to go out and have a good time since he ruined the trip to the theme park but he couldn’t stop himself from complaining about them leaving him here.

“Sure, I’m rude. I’m not the one abandoning their kid for the night.” Tony muttered from under the blanket. He sighed. He felt like such an idiot because he really did want them to go out and have fun but he couldn’t stop himself from verbally attacking everyone. He’s been doing it all day, making hurtful and offhand comments to random strangers or when the team was only half paying attention. “No, ignore me. Go out.” He groaned.

Tony didn’t feel like he could stop himself from saying it. He felt absolutely destroyed, like something ripped open his chest and crawled inside to make him feel exhausted to move but too anxious to sleep. It made him angry, the dark and scared feeling that swelled up inside, and he couldn’t stop himself from lashing out. That made him feel guilty and everything just got worse.

“Tony. Do you want us to stay in?” Clint asked softly. Tony grumbled out no. “Do you want to drive home? We can do that if you want. You just have to tell us.”

“No. I don’t want to drive home.” Tony sighed out. He wasn’t in the mood for a four hour drive right now. “Okay, I don’t know what I want! I feel like I want you guys to go out and have fun but then I start saying really mean things and it’s weird!” He was yelling now. 

Tony was really scared. He wasn’t sure if he was dying or if this was just something going on with his emotions but it felt like it was killing him. Tony’s heart was beating faster than he could remember, it felt like his lungs couldn’t expand enough for him to breathe, and his head was pounding. Everything seemed too bright and loud. That alongside the dark, crawling things that made his stomach tighten made his limbs feel too tired to move Tony didn’t think he would ever be okay again.

He thought he recognized the feeling of the things crawling around inside. He sometimes felt like something was crawling and wiggling around inside his stomach and up his arms when he started to feel anxious about usually nothing at all. This time it felt so much worse. It was everywhere and it was overwhelming. He couldn’t pin down what he was worried about though. Ruining Bucky’s trip? Being away from home? Getting his new arm? Other than that he couldn’t really think of anything to be nervous about but here he was, struggle to maintain his composure.

“Tony, it’s Clint. Can you hear me?” His dad asked softly from beyond the blanket thrown over Tony’s head.

“Of course I can hear you.” Tony grumbled.

“I have Sam on the phone. Do you want to talk to Sam?” Clint asked. “You like him.”

Tony sighed loudly, letting out a shaky breath. Yes, he did like Sam but he also like all of these guys and he was currently trying not to yell at them. He reached his hand out from under the blanket slowly. Clint pressed the phone into his hand and he curled back up tightly under his red blanket.

“Hi, Sammy.” Tony muttered into the phone.

“Hey, Tony. I hear you’re not having a fun time.” Sam said, voice distorted by the phone. “Tell me exactly how you’re feeling.”

Tony bit his lip. He didn’t know how to explain it because he wasn’t even entirely sure how he felt, he just knew it was a terrible feeling. He pulled his head out from under the blanket for the first time in hours and looked at everyone. Clint and Natasha were standing over him, looking down with those same worried expressions they always had while Bruce continued to sit on the end of his bed watching Pawn Stars. Tony waved them out of the room.

“Go eat.” He muttered. The nodded, coming over to give him a hug and kiss him goodbye. He laid back down, pulling the blanket back over his head. “I don’t know how I’m feeling. Something feels like it’s crawling around inside and I feel like I’m scared of something about to happen which is stupid because nothing serious is going on right now. I feel like I’ve just exploded and the pieces of me are lying around everywhere. I’m angry and I don’t know why and I’m yelling at everyone for no reason. I don’t know Sam, I’m scared. I’ve never been this anxious and sad and exhausted before in my life.” Tony said quickly, rambling into his pillow and half empty bag of gummy bears. After saying everything he felt more out of breath than before. He took the plastic bag and folded it up, throwing it onto the nightstand next to his already empty bag. He ate a bag and a half of candy, which was surprising with Bruce in the room. He did mention it once, but Tony just snapped at him, yelling to be left alone with his candy. Once it was just him under the blanket curled up tighter into a ball.

“That sounds like a lot to be dealing with right now, kid. How have you been handling your problems recently?” Sam asked. Tony hated his tone. It was the same tone everyone always used when they thought he was going to break or freak out or something.

“I don’t have any problems except for the one right now where I’m freaking out on everyone and can’t keep myself together!” Tony said. He pressed the phone against his head and the pillow and brought his hand down to rest against the arc reactor. It glowed faintly into the darkness under the blanket and he could feel the rapid thumps of his heart underneath it.

“Two months ago you were literally kidnapped by Nazi, lost an arm, and now you hardly leave the house and refuse to see your friends. You have problems and denying that they exist or that they bother you is only going to make them build up and come crashing down at once, which might be what’s happening now.” Sam said. 

Tony let out a whine as he tried to bury his face into the pillow. Sure, all of that stuff sounded bad but he was fine with all of those things. He thought he handled everything very well, it’s not that he ignored any bad feelings he got. He did feel bad about what happened but he decided that he didn’t care. Sure, he knew it was weird. He was kidnapped by HYDRA and lost his arm and those things didn’t seem to bother him at all. If something tried to wiggle itself into his mind he would push it to the side or avoid whatever was causing the thoughts. Pretty much the only thing that bothered him excessively before today was when Pepper kissed him. He knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened and then he would just drag everyone down with him. He told Sam everything he was thinking.

“Tony, it sounds like you’ve been suppressing your negative emotions. This isn’t a good thing to do because they always comeback with a rebound effect.” Sam said. Tony shook his head from under the blanket.

“I don’t know what that means.” Tony groaned out. “Can you talk like a normal person?”

“It means that all the negative feelings you’re ignoring and pushing aside are going to come rushing back much worse.” Sam said firmly, making sure Tony was listening. “You know what else you’re doing? You’re terrified and angry but you don’t know what at so you’re taking it out on everyone else around you. I know you don’t think you can but we’re going to have a lovely talk and teach you how to relax, accept your emotions as they come, and chill out so you’re not yelling at everyone.” Sam said. 

Tony peeked his head out from under the covers to check around the room. Bruce was still there, watching his show and glancing over at Tony. He gave the man a quick smile before retreating back under the blanket. 

“Okay, just make it all stop!” Tony whispered out desperately.

“It’s going to take time, kiddo. When you get back you’re going to have to talk to a professional.”

“You’re a professional.” Tony muttered, grabbing the phone and rolling over onto his stomach.

“But I’m also your friend so I can’t do much for you. I am going to try to help you calm down just a little, okay? Okay.” Sam said. Tony closed his eyes tightly, hoping his head would stop pounding and he could hold off throwing up until Sam did his magic and calmed him down. “First, sit up and get comfortable.”

“I’m comfy lying down.” He said. Tony had been up and moving and dealing with loud noises and overwhelming smells and with so many things touching him he just wanted to lay down. Sitting up took effort.

“Tony, I’m in charge right now and you have to sit up.” Sam said over the phone. “Make sure the room is quiet.”

Tony let the blanket fall from his head as he pushed himself up, it pooled around his waist into a large red mass of red yarn so it was still right there if he needed it. He motioned for Bruce to turn off the tv and held the phone tightly to his ear. His head still hurt but Sam was supposed to fix everything.

“Okay, we’re going to work on an exercise called Mindful Breathing.” Tony sighed as Sam said the words. “Shut up, it’s really good at helping people gain control of their emotions.”

“Right, whatever. Just do the thing.” Tony mumbled, watching Bruce get up from the end of his bed and walk over to the couch. He looked on as the man sat down and pulled out a tattered book.

“Okay, now quiet room and sitting comfortably. Focus on your breathing. No need to change it in any way, I just need you to notice each breath you take and how it feels going into your lungs. Be completely aware of your entire body as you focus on your breathing.” Sam said calmly. His end of the phone call sounded quieter too. A few moments ago he could have heard the sound of traffic or the tv but now it was just as silent as the room he was in.

Tony did as he was told. His lungs still felt cramped up and wouldn’t let him take a deep breath so he just took a bunch of slow, small ones. All the muscles in his body were clenched up tight in that sickening way that made it feel like he was about to be torn apart. He didn’t want to think about that, he didn’t want to think about these horrible things managing to rip him apart because he would be fine. He had Bruce here to protect him from anything that would attack on the outside and Sam to talk him through anything to attack on the inside. 

“If your mind starts to wander that’s okay, accept the thoughts as they come and then just let them go as they please. Just remember to breathe. If you think you’re becoming too distracted on your thoughts or feelings just go back to focusing on your breathing.” Sam said quietly. 

“Don’t you fucking hang up on me.” Tony muttered out.

“Not a chance in hell.”

Tony breathed. He was sitting with his legs crossed, slightly slouched forward as he pressed the phone to his ear with a continuously shaking hand. He focused on the movement of the air as it passed over his lips and into his mouth. He sat there for several minutes, waiting for the horrible feeling of dread to pass or the sickening feeling of something crawling around inside him.

Maybe he was doing it wrong. Maybe he was supposed to casually let his thoughts wander over to his problems. Tony sighed, he didn’t like this exercise. It was stupid because it wasn’t working. He was perfectly fine just lying under that blanket until he didn’t feel like he was dying anymore, whenever that would be.

This was all HYDRA’s fault. He was doing so good and they had to burst into his life and ruin all the progress he had made. Sure, they gave them all Bucky but he was broken too. Most nights Bucky didn’t even sleep, he would just wander into one of the team’s apartments and hang out with them or wake up Steve. He must have been scared too. 

Tony struggled to stay sitting up, he wanted to retreat back under his blanket and grab his bag of gummy beats again. He was angry, that’s it. He was angry at HYDRA. They came in and ruined SHIELD and his life and his family’s lives and hurt Bucky so much. He was angry at them. Yet still afraid that they would come back. Or some other super evil person who decided to hurt him because that’s always what happened.

His whole life he spent with Howard who did nothing but hurt him, then there was Hammer and Stane who kept him locked in a basement for over a day and tortured him, he moved back with his birth mother who wasn’t terrible, just not the motherly type. Then SHIELD was attacked (he also remembers it being hacked by someone on the inside and they thought it was him but it turned out that half of SHIELD was HYRDRA so mystery solved) and they weren’t gentle. Now this HYDRA mess. Tony just wanted to be safe and happy for an extended period of time without having to worry about when the next group of bad people will come to hurt him.

Tony realized he was holding his breath. He messed up the exercise. He was supposed to focus on his breathing but he ended up realizing how fucked up his life is.

“Sam.” Tony muttered, he looked over at the clock quickly. He had only been sitting there a half an hour in silence. Good thing Clint’s phone had unlimited talk and text. “I don’t think I did it right. I messed up.” Tony heard a brief shuffling on the other end of the phone before Sam answered him.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You were pretty focused for a long time. What were you thinking about?” Sam said.

“I was trying to be aware of my breathing but I was getting upset because it wasn’t doing anything. Then I got mad at HYDRA because they ruined everything. Then I got mad at everyone who ever did something to hurt me. Now I’m just scared.” Tony rambled loudly between his heaving breaths. “I got distracted. I messed up.”

“No, Tony. No, you didn’t mess up at all. Your mind went exactly to what’s been bothering you and you realized how you feel about it.” Sam said quickly. “Just keep on breathing, okay? Focus on your breathing. How do you feel?”

“I don’t know. The same.” Tony said. “I guess I don’t feel like yelling anymore.”

“See, that’s good. It’s because you realized what you’re really angry at.” Sam said lightly. “Tell you what, you keep breathing and you can lie down and relax. Just hand the phone over to Bruce and do whatever you feel comfortable doing. Good job, Tones.”

Tony threw the phone over, grabbed his blanket, and disappeared under the dark red covers. Bruce sighed and put down the book he was barely reading.

“He’s not okay.” Bruce whispered quietly as he stepped into the bathroom. “He looks scared out of his mind.”

“He probably is. He’s just now coming to terms with the fact that HYDRA, a 70 year old organization of Nazis trying to take over the world, had kidnapped him and hurt him so bad he lost an arm.” Sam said quietly. “As soon as he gets back you make sure Clint and Natasha find him someone to talk to. And make sure he takes it easy over there.”

“I will.” Bruce said. He hung up the phone and walked back out into the room.

Tony was still shaking and had pulled his one arm up over to grip the blanket up be his head. He moved back to his spot at the foot of Tony’s bed and waited. Tony didn’t notice he came back into the room, he had just curled in onto himself, letting the waves of fear and anxiety wash over him. When a gentle hand rested on his foot he lifted his head to smiled weakly at Bruce.

And hour ago he yelled at him for saying it was a bad idea to eat a bag and a half of gummy bears and now he was just thrilled to see him. Tony grabbed his pillow and threw it down by Bruce’s legs before curling up next to the man with his blanket.

“I’m sorry.” Tony muttered as he settled in.

“You’re fine. You did nothing wrong.” Bruce said, reaching over to pick up his book off the couch.

“But I feel wrong. Every part of me feels like it’s slowly being ripped apart and I’m just so scared. I don’t know what to do.” Tony whispered into the pillow.

“You said you weren’t feeling angry anymore?” Bruce asked. Tony nodded. “And you were before?”

“Yeah but I didn’t know why.” Tony said. “I’m not really angry anymore. It’s HYDRAS fault.”

“Did you not like being angry?” Tony shook his head. Bruce sighed before he continued. “See, that one little thing that was bothering you is gone now. You just have to give us time to help you through everything else. You have to trust us and let us help you, okay?”

“Okay.” Tony muttered into the pillow. “We still going back to Luna Park tomorrow?”

“You don’t have to. We can go home if you want.”

“No!” Tony said forcefully. “Bucky’s remembering good stuff now. You can’t let me ruin it. I just want to see if I can ride one thing. If not you can take me home while everyone else has fun.”

“We’ll talk to your parents.” Bruce said. Tony nodded and lowered his head back down onto the pillow. Bruce reached out slowly and patted down the boy’s messy dark hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elantania, their next day at the theme park will be next. Hopefully it is a much better day.  
> Thank goodness for Sam. He's so wonderful. Sam WIlson is amazing.  
> You guys are great. On FF.net I have 13 chapters up and they don't comment at all. I got two reviews and I'm always waiting for more but it's all silence. You guys talk to me, I love you guys.  
> Comment, maybe I'll make them all happy in the end. Maybe I'll kill a character. O_O


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter!! I'm not updating everyday anymore :( I get so caught up in classes that I go a few days without updating and I start thinking it's been forever and I check and it's only been two days. Anyway, make sure you've read chapter 22. I posted it the same day I posted chapter 21 (but I posted 21 at 1am and 22 at 10pm so whatever) so you guys might not have noticed the update so be sure to read that. Lovely little phone chat between Tony and Sam in that one while Tony's at Coney Island. I love you all.

Tony managed to sleep through the night. He wasn’t entirely sure how he pulled it off but he did. He was just lying in bed, watching the sleeping forms of Clint and Natasha in the bed across from him because they just collapsed right to sleep after getting in from dinner and wishing him ‘goodnight’ and the next moment he was opening his eyes to the bright morning sun with everyone awake and shuffling around him. He still felt as bad as he did the day before with the tightness in his stomach, there was a small pain in his chest, and a new thing where his hand and arm were incredibly uncomfortable. There were already healing scabs and marks from before when he had scratched it open but he the tingling and crawling feelings lurking under the skin made him want to scratch at it more.

Tony walked to the bathroom quietly, moving aside to avoid touching anyone. He ran his hand under cold water. He let it run over his hand until it numbed his fingers, taking away the tingling and the crawling and all the itching feelings. He still felt it running up his arm but he didn’t have the urge to fust rub his right side against something sharp to scratch at it until relief came.

“Good morning, Tony.” Bruce said, appearing at the bathroom door. “Feeling better today?” Tony shrugged and walked out of the bathroom.

Natasha was going through her suitcase, eyeing him closely. “I’m thinking the theme park might not be a good idea. It’s supposed to be really hot today and Clint, you know how I burn.” She said casually. She continued to shuffle through her neatly folded clothes. “Why don’t we stay in, order as much as we can from room service, and trash the room while we watch Rugrats Go Wild?”

“No. I want to go to the park!” Tony groaned. He knew what they were doing, they didn’t think he could handle. “The ferris wheel is supposed to be great.”

That was Tony’s goal. The ferris wheel, that was the one ride he will push himself to go on. It wasn’t loud or fast. It just went slow and took the passengers up to get a better view of Coney Island. Nothing menacing about that at all. If he happened to feel up to going on more rides after that then so be it.

He shrugged into his clothes. He mastered putting everything on with one arm, even buttoning his jeans which he figured was a pretty good skill to have. They met everyone else down in the hotel lobby. Bucky walked to his side instantly, not saying a word. Not even speaking. Tony didn’t like that but he didn’t say anything either. He just wanted to get on that damn ferris wheel so he could participate in Bucky’s nice weekend out.

Tony regretted everything once they arrived at the park. It was the weekend, did he not think it would be even louder and more crowded than anywhere else he had ever been? He wanted to mentally kick himself. He grew up in New York. He should be able to handle these things.

Tony flinched away from everyone who came too close, which was difficult since the place was so crowded he couldn’t get more than two feet from a stranger. He resigned himself to hiding in the middle of the group with Bucky constantly flanking him at his left and Jane walking next to him on his right with her arm looped through his.

“We should get some ice cream. It’s far too hot today!” Jane said, dragging him along slowly by the arm. Tony frowned at the line in front of the concessions stand. He felt himself tense up slightly.

“Nah. I don’t want any. Gotta watch my figure.” Tony muttered. He took a deep breath, had to stay relatively calm.

Jane casually shifted direction and sat down on a bench in the shade and pulled Tony down gently beside her. Natasha took a seat on Tony’s other side while all the men stood around them patiently.

“Thor, sweetie, go get us ice cream. I want cookie dough.” She said as she pulled out a small notepad from her purse to start jotting down notes. She must have found inspiration for a new idea in astrophysics while they explored the theme park. Jane often carried the notepad for when she got random but brilliant ideas. “Tony, would you suggest our method of intergalactic space travel be done by picking a direction and flying, _like the amateurs at NASA_.” Jane said, muttering the last part under her breath. “Or do you think we should utilize the wormholes and Loki’s pathways. I think I’ve developed a more reliable way of tracking them down.”

Tony let out a weak smile. Science, the one thing that always made him feel safe and calm. It almost worked. The knot that had been staying in his stomach since the day before seemed like it was about to loosen and his muscles felt a tad less tense at the thought of discussing space science with one of the most brilliant women on the planet. Then a large family of screaming children passed by right in front of them.

He grabbed onto Jane’s wrist quickly. This was bad, there were too many people. He didn’t feel safe. He felt wrong. Tony wanted to go home and crawl into his safe place under the bed and never come out because he was fairly certain that the crawling feelings and the fear and how utterly destroyed he felt. But he had to do that one ride, the one calm and quiet ride.

“Come on. I want to go on the Wonder Wheel. Everyone prepare yourselves for the Wonder Wheel because that’s what we’re doing.” Tony said as he led them to the line. It was a short line; apparently everyone was waiting for the rollercoasters or more thrilling rides at the moment. Perfect, less people around, get done with the ride sooner.

“Tony, do you want to step away for a few minutes?” Natasha asked. Tony shook his head. He took a second to evaluate himself. He was gripping Jane’s arm too tightly, not enough to hurt but enough to show he wasn’t calm and she was looking him over worriedly. He quickly let go and let his hand drop to clutch at his t-shirt as he noticed his breathing. He was gulping in air too quickly. Tony sucked in a breath and held it for a few seconds before nodding to Bucky.

“I like the ferris wheel.” Bucky muttered, frowning at him.

“You do?” Tony said, letting out the breath with a relieved sigh.

“Well… I think I do. I remember. I did. Like them.” He said, stammering.

“Then we’ll have fun. Ferris wheels are fun.” Tony said.

They were at the front of the line now. Thor and Clint came running up to them with ice cream bars in hand to pass out to everyone. Tony grabbed his fudgsicle and climbed into the basket that would take them around the wheel. They picked a stationary cabin so it wouldn’t rock back and forth. No one else felt up for it so it was just him, Clint, Bucky, and Steve going up.

Tony looked through the grating covering surrounding them as they gently rose into the air. It was quiet except for a small sound of metal moving and a very distant sound of kids yelling.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky said softly. Tony turned around and frowned at him. “You’re scared. I shouldn’t have made you come. I messed up.” Tony shook his head quickly, not looking away because they were just reaching the crest and he could see out onto the rest of the city.

Tony missed New York. He sometimes thought back to his life before he started hanging out with the Avengers and everything started becoming wonderful and horrible at the same time because although he would have loved not to have been kidnapped, restrained, and tortured; Tony wouldn’t trade any of it to get Howard and Maria instead of Clint and Natasha. Tony didn’t mind being a little messed up if he could keep them as his parents; it just didn’t seem manageable right now.

“No. I’m just tired. Didn’t get in my beauty sleep so I’m a bit cranky and nervous.” Tony said. He glanced over to Clint for help before looking back at the skyline.

“Yeah. He’s like a toddler. One time he went about three days without sleeping and I tried giving him a pudding cup and he just grumbled at me and threw it.” Clint said, lightly patting Tony on the back. “Then he turns into a startled deer. You make a loud noise, he runs behind a bush, and we never see him again.”

Tony nodded and took a bite out of his ice cream. He would have answered them but the ride was coming to a halt. He did it, he rode the one thing he promised he would. He climbed out quickly and gave Bucky and Steve a quick hug before marching off. Tony wasn’t going to do anymore. He couldn’t.

He made it out into the parking lot and sat down on the ground their car. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face into them. He could wait, he could just sit here and wait while everyone enjoys a nice day. It was quieter out in the parking lot with far fewer people. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears and his heart beating in his chest.

It was all coming back to him, the terrible tightness in his chest and stomach, the pounding in his head, the tingling up his arm. It was all too uncomfortable. He rubbed his arm lightly against the pavement hoping it would stop the tingling and the slight itching as he buried his face deeper into his knees and tried to breathe. His lungs didn’t feel like they could let in much air so he just kept telling himself over and over in his mind to calm down, screaming it into his thoughts.

“Tony? Can you look at me?” Natasha asked softly. Tony lifted his head to meet her eyes, frowning. He hadn’t heard her walk up. That’s what he hated most about having assassin spy parents, he didn’t hear them walk up on him unless they made sure to make their steps heavier. Clint and Bruce were standing behind her as she knelt in front of him.

“Can we go home?” He whispered. Tony was exhausted. He was tired of convincing himself to stay and dealing with all the things he couldn’t handle. He lifted his hand up out of the puddle of melted ice cream and looked up at him mom. “Please.”

“Of course we can.” She said and Clint walked up and unlocked the car.

They picked up their stuff from the hotel, everyone else would be driving back the next day. Tony curled up in the backseat and stared out the window. He didn’t bother asking if he could nap, he didn’t want to. He just wanted sit in silence and see if he could relax if even just for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These past few months I've realized how much I don't like my name. It's not a strong hatred, I just don't feel anything for it. You know what is a cool name though? Griffin. That's my pen-name now. You guys can call me Griffin.  
> Anyway, the 27th will be the 3 month anniversary of when I started this story so happy 3 months you guys!!!!!!  
> Comment, I love comments. I only got one comment on Chapter 22 (overly attached author)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, lovely readers. I hope you guys are doing well. I'm doing pretty good. I'm really tired though, should catch up on my sleep. Feel free to tell me how you guys are doing.  
> *throws glitter* I don't think I'm going to write a part 3. I think I can wrap up everything that needs to be said about this fic in this one. But I also have no other plans for upcoming fics so this might be my last one for a while until new inspiration blossoms *unless you guys want more Tony-centric angst covered AUs. I think up a lot of those* *Also, sorry for all the focus on Clint as well, he's my favorite*

As soon as Tony got home he went straight for his room, slamming the door behind him and crawling under the bed. Everything had become too much for him. Clint pulled Tony’s blanket out of his backpack and placed it on the ground next to the bed. The teen’s hand darted out quickly to grab it before retreating back.

“You want to tell me what’s wrong?” Clint asked, sitting down on the ground but the bed.

“I’m probably dying. I don’t… This is the worst I’ve ever felt.” A small imitation of Tony’s usually confident and carrying voice, this whisper barely crawled out from under the bed.

Clint sighed. “Do you want me to stay in here with you?” He said. If Tony wanted the company he would stay for as long as necessary but if he wanted to be alone he would give him his space. Clint heard some gentle movement under the bed beside him before a hand darted out to grab his shirt.

“You can stay. Just be quiet.” Tony muttered. “I know how you like to shout but there is no reason the whole block needs to know what you’re saying.”

“Just making sure everyone can hear me.” Clint said, smiling softly.

“If you found something interesting to talk about maybe we would listen.” Tony said, shifting slightly to turn his head away.

Clint took that as the end of the conversation and grabbed the pillows from the bed. He passed one down to Tony and used the other to prop himself up against the wall. He was extremely worried and if Tony was letting him stay then he wasn’t going anywhere so it was best to make himself comfortable. He remembers Tony’s bad moments, they happened frequently after what happened with Stane and Hammer. Clint hated thinking about how well Tony was doing, how less frequent his panic attacks and flash backs were, because now his son was terrified and hiding. Thinking about how much project he made before everything went to hell again only made him angry.

Natasha walked into the room with Tony’s stuff in her arms, her feet falling soundlessly against the wood flooring. She motioned towards him and Tony’s stray hand peeking out from under the bed that was still gripping at his shirt. Clint didn’t say anything, just lifted his hands and began to sign quietly.

“ _If I ever meet anymore H-Y-D-R-A agents, I’ll kill them_.” Clint signed, waving his hands fluidly. Natasha nodded, placing Tony’s bags on his bed gently as Dummy wheeled up to help her.

The robot was excited to see them, it had been alone the past few days with everyone going on the trip and Lucky staying at Maria’s. They came home to find that Dummy had somehow gotten ahold of a box of crayons and decided to draw them pictures in all of Tony’s notebooks. Nat was just happy it wasn’t the walls and Tony didn’t care, he just went for his bed. Dummy tried to help by shoving its pictures under there to show Tony but the kid didn’t give any response so it went to help Natasha unpack.

Clint glanced under the bed. Tony’s face was buried into the pillow and he was breathing evenly but Clint could see how tense the muscles in his back and shoulders were and still feel the strong grip on his shirt. Tony might have fallen asleep just a little bit but he wasn’t relaxed at all.

“We’ll find him someone to help.” Natasha whispered. “It’s gotten bad before and he’s always gotten better. No matter what has happened he’s always trusted us to help him and it’s always worked out.”

Clint nodded, frowning deeply. “I know. But what if it all happens again. It seems to be a pattern, something bad happens, he gets bad and then gets better before something bad happens again so it can repeat. How many times can we keep doing this to the kid?” He said, leaning back against the wall.

“It won’t happen again. I won’t let it. We won’t let it.” Natasha said. She put the last of Tony’s stuff away and came to sit next to him. She kept her voice low so she wouldn’t wake up Tony, he was exhausted and she hoped getting some rest would help even just a little. “We failed him before. Our main mistakes were leaving him during threats. We’re not going to do that anymore.”

“He’s not going to like that. He hates being babied.” Clint said. Natasha turned to glare at him, holding his gaze for several seconds before he just shrugged. “Fine, but if I’m going to have to listen to him complain about us being his ever watchful guardians even though he’s sixteen then I think we should order pizza tonight. Stuffed crust.”

“Alright.” Natasha sighed quietly, moving to stand up. “But you have to help me find a new therapist later.” Clint nodded.

Tony’s last therapist was approved by SHIELD and was covered on their insurance, which they got through SHIELD. Now that was all gone they had to find a new one and start from scratch. Clint didn’t know how insurance forms worked, he would have to call Coulson later to ask about that. He’d pay out of pocket if he had to if it’d help Tony and it wasn’t like they were low on money. He and Natasha had money stashed away for emergencies all over the world and Tony liked to upgrade technology and sell it to companies so they always had an income.

Clint was calmer, they sort of had a plan and that was good. They would find someone for Tony to talk to and help him, they were going to protect him better, and probably kill every remaining HYDRA agent on the planet. They could get Steve to join in and make it a party. Clint didn’t think it would be enough though, they couldn’t just guard Tony all the time. He would have to teach him more than just how to diffuse a bomb, pick a lock, and survive in various environments. He was already making a mental list of things that could be just as useful as knowing how to build a fire, such as teaching him how to disarm someone, improvising weapons, and just being aware of body language of possible attackers. Natasha certainly wouldn’t object to him teaching Tony that.

Clint leaned back against the wall, resting his head against the pillow and sighed. Tony’s hand tugged gently at his shirt. He grabbed his pillow and scooted slowly under the bed, careful not to invade the boy’s space but enough to offer comfort should he need it. He was laying just a few inches away from Tony now, halfway under the bed and he smiled as he saw Tony relax slightly.

“You should sleep.” Clint whispered. “We’ll let you take a nap this once but if you can’t sleep tonight don’t blame me.”

“You guys never shut up.” Tony said, voice muffled by the pillow. “I’m tired. You guys are exhausting.”

Clint chuckled. This had to be good, Tony was making jokes. Yesterday he was yelling at people because he didn’t understand or could handle how much stress he was under. Now he was giving a dry and forced try at humor but it had to be an improvement.

“You guys are going to make me see someone else?” Tony asked.

“Yes.” Clint said. “Your routines aren’t working anymore. We need to try something else.”

Tony muttered something under his breath and pressed his face deeper into his pillow. He squeezed tighter onto Clint’s shirt, the man’s hand went up to hold onto his. Tony’s hand was trembling slightly so Clint just held onto Tony’s clenched fist, hoping to calm him down. He frowned when he brushed the healing scabs against his hands and looked down at them.

“How’s your arm feeling? I know we took you off the pain killers but is it hurting you still?” Clint asked softly.

“Unless someone hits it then it’s fine.” Tony said. “Thanks for taking me off those pills. I didn’t like them." Clint just patted the back of Tony’s hand and smiled. “Can I go back to sleep?”

“As long as you agree to go talk to someone.” Tony nodded. Clint didn’t let go of Tony’s hand. He was worried that at any moment the boy would slip away and disappear if he stopped holding onto it.

“I’m scared.” Tony whispered.

“I know. But your mom and I are never going to let anything happen to you again.” Clint said.

“You’re an idiot.” Tony muttered sleepily as he pulled his hand away.

He took that as his cue to leave. Tony wrapped himself tightly into his blanket and let out a soft sight as Clint crawled out from under the bed and walked out into the living room. Natasha was sitting on the couch, laptop sitting in front of her with a firm expression on her face. She leaned into him when he fell onto the seat next to her. They didn’t say a word, they didn’t need to.

“His appointment with AIM to check up on his arm is the day after tomorrow.” Natasha said after a few minutes. “If the implant fused into the skin correctly and healed with his nerves he can attach the rest of it.”

“He’ll like that.” Clint said. “You find a therapist?”

“A few. We’ll see if he’s up to go to one after his appointment.” She closed the computer and laid out onto Clint’s lap. “He’s going to be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are wonderful. *I keep saying that* I'll probably bring in more of the rest of the team and Sam and Maria as things pic up and Coulson might just make a come back. He's probably busy, off doing his Agents of SHIELD business........  
> There is nothing I can do to tell you all how much you mean to me. I have the best readers in the world. High five.  
> Comment, I live talking to you.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeey. New Chappie. Happy three month anniversary since the start of the series. It's today. Yaaaaaaaaay. You're all beautiful and thank you for sticking with me through all of the first one and this one so far. You guys are amazing.

Tony was still on edge by the time his appointment came. He was sleeping a lot but he figured it was because of how exhausted he felt all day. Everyone else came back from New York but he didn’t feel like he had the energy to go greet them. Instead, Bucky would sit in his room with him for most of the day. They didn’t speak to each other at all. They didn’t even bother attempting a conversation. Tony would just duck under his blankets while Bucky sat by the window and stared at it.

Because Bucky was over so often, Steve was too. Although he did talk. Tony didn’t mind, Steve would just sit on the end of his bed and scribble in his sketch book and ramble about the weather or recent politics or just how weird the future was or how much he missed everyone from the past. Sometimes Tony would answer but mostly he would just listen.

Of course, Clint and Natasha wouldn’t let him lay in bed all day. If he didn’t get up around noon they would make him come out to lay down in the living room. They thought that at least being around some mild activity would do him good, even if he didn’t want to do much. Clint and Natasha spent the day explaining to him everything he should expect at his appointment at AIM, gauging his reactions to see how he was holding on. Tony wasn’t sure how he managed to convince them because he felt like he was barely keeping it together as it was. He was certain that at any moment he would run back to his room and hide because everything seemed to be falling apart and he didn’t want to wait for the next big terrible thing to come and hurt him.

He didn’t want to go. He was just fine staying home and spending time with his family and Bucky and Steve but the last thing he wanted was to go out into the world and deal with the noise and discomfort of all the crowds and chaos.

However, he did want to be able to attack the rest of his arm. Clint and Natasha would let him until the doctors told him it was okay. The sooner he got it on and moving the sooner he could start improving it and working on bigger projects. He could also start doing two arm things again. Like archery. Tony enjoyed archery.

Tony tried to remain as calm as possible as he walked out to the car. He knew his muscles were too tense and his hands were shaking too much but he kept his breathing deep and steady. He tried to tell himself that he would be alright, he had Clint and Natasha to protect him if anything went wrong and he was only going to see a doctor. Everything was okay.

They didn’t have to wait long once they arrived. They walked right down to the medical center where the doctors met with them. Tony sat up on the cot while they examined and poked at the device that healed into his skin, asking about any pain or discomfort. Tony answered as much as he could, gripping as Natasha’s hand for support. After what was too long for him, he felt like he couldn’t stand being prodded by strangers for another minute without panicking, they decided it had healed enough for him to start using the rest of his prosthetic but to use it sparingly and to contact them if he feels any pain. Relieved, Tony gathers his things and starts the lead his parents out of the building.

“Tony. I was hoping to see you again.” Aldrich Killian calls out once they reach the lobby. “Why don’t you and your family come join me for lunch? We can discuss the future of your career.”

Tony sighed and walked into his office. Looking around at the expensive décor he immediately took a seat on the wide couch in the corner. It wasn’t where the food was laid out but it was where he was going to sit regardless. Luckily, Clint and Natasha sat down beside him so Killian came to join them by sitting in one of the chairs across from them.

“Right now I don’t have a career. Trying to do that whole ‘teenager’ thing.” Tony said once they were all comfortable. Killian just nodded.

“How’s that working out for you?” He asked, a sly tone in his voice. “If you did decide to start your engineering career early, besides just the freelance work you’re doing now, perhaps AIM would be a great fit for you. We take in a lot of brilliant, interesting people and certainly the son of two Avengers would fit in nicely.” Tony frowned, Natasha squeezing his hand just a bit tighter.

“I know most of my life was documented by SHIELD and now that’s all out on the internet but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop doing what I want to do and get a job at a think tank.” Tony said quickly, his heart rate picking up. He realized it wasn’t Nat who was gripping his hand so tightly, it was him and she was just returning the pressure. He really should make her a ‘best mom ever’ award because she was doing a great job at keeping him grounded.

“Like we said earlier…” She said, leaning forward to grab a glad of water that was sitting on the table. “We were planning on Tony going to college first.”

“Oh, is he attending a university? I didn’t realize.” Aldrich said, smiling.

“Not yet. We’re giving him time to adjust first.” Clint said, glaring at him.

“Because of the kidnappings?”

“I think I’ll wait in the car.” Tony muttered. 

He stood up quickly and walked out of the office. Natasha followed closely behind. Tony flung himself into the backseat and buried his head in his hands. He felt his mom slide into the seat next to him and wrap her arms around him.

“Hey, I’ve got you. That guy’s a dick. Clint’s probably tearing him apart right now.” She whispered to him calmly.

“Sorry we’re missing it.” He said. He heaved a few breaths against her shoulder. “I know how much you like people getting beat up.”

“Another time, Tony.” She whispered, bringing her hand up to stroke his hair. “Trust me, I’ll have another chance to beat someone up.”

Natasha sat in the backseat with him, holding him close for several long minutes before Clint came out of the building and slid into the driver’s seat. He didn’t say much as he started the car and began to drive home but Tony could see that he was angry.

“Dad?”

“That guy is such a prick.” Clint said, glancing back quickly at Tony. “I’m sorry. The docs cleared you for your prosthetic and since we don’t need scientists to help attach it anymore we’re getting you new doctors. And don’t forget, you have a therapy appointment coming up.”

Tony nodded, still resting his head against his mom’s shoulder. He was ready to go home. The day had worn him out. The ride back was quiet except for the pop music Clint had blasting through the radio. Once they got home Tony went to his room and crawled under the covers.

“How did it go?” Steve asked from the doorway. Tony lifted his head to look at him. Bucky was still sitting by the window, he had recently tried to take up crocheting and thought that was a good spot, and so Steve stayed.

“You guys are still here? Of course you are.” Tony said. He laid back down and rolled over to look at Bucky in the corner. He held one of the crocheting needs awkwardly in his metal hand and whatever he was trying to make looked like a flat mess of yarn that had too many corners and too long on several sides. Natasha recommended the hobby to him after Bucky’s recent string of nightmares had left him up most nights. “They said it healed up enough to attach the rest of the arm. I figure tomorrow I’ll attach my shiny new appendage.”

“That’s wonderful.” Steve said, walking into the room and sitting down onto the end of Tony’s bed. “It really is a beautiful day. It’s supposed to be sunny for the next few days.” He pulled out his sketchbook and started doodling as Tony buried his head back into the pillow.

This was nice, he liked this. The silence being gently filled with Steve’s rambles and Bucky by the window, working on something he enjoyed and pretending that he wasn’t scanning outside the window for dangers. Tony thought it was reassuring. He was in a houseful of people who was going to protect him. He was still terrified, couldn’t get the tension from his muscles, the ache from his bones, or the knots in his stomach out but he knew he was okay and that he was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, started a new fic so if you guys are interested in reading another AU by me feel free to check it out. It's about Tony being kidnapped by an organization of people who take children with special skills and raise them to be assets to the organization. Fun times. Feel free to read, or ignore if it doesn't sound like your thing.  
> *Shameless self-promotion: whothefrickleisbucky.tumblr.com *  
> Comment, it is my life essence. Your comments are the fuel to my writing and my being.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, New chappie chap. I did it!   
> It's monday. :((( I had a lovely weekend. I hope you guys did too.  
> Stay fabulous!!

Attaching his metal arm was a weird feeling. Natasha locked all the grooves together and he could feel each connection being made. When she backed away she stood by Clint, waiting for Tony to move or say something. The weight pulling on his left side was familiar, yet so very different that he felt off balance even just sitting there. 

Tony didn’t want visitors, at least not a lot. Everyone wanted to come over and see it but he just wanted to practice with it. He didn’t want people over talking and crowding him while he was trying to focus. He narrowed the list to Steve, Bucky, Bruce, and since he’d been avoiding his friends for weeks, Happy if he happened to stop by. Thor was a bit too loud at times and Tony didn’t think he could handle that.

Tony first had to get used to moving his new arm around. Although his coordination was off the prosthetic seemed to be in working order, the joints moved smoothly and it was nice to have his whole range of motion back. He could control it perfectly, the problem being that he wasn’t used trying to move his fingers, his hand, or bending an elbow on his left side anymore. It came back to him naturally but he overshot his movement, knocking over what he was reaching for.

Clint and Natasha stayed in the room to watch him. Tony figured it was a big deal for them as parents to see him get this back but it put him on edge. He felt like they were on guard and at any moment something was going to burst in and attack. He hadn’t activated any self-defense features in his prosthetic yet. Not that he built in a repulsor in the palm to thwart off attackers, he would deny it if anyone asked and it was nonlethal.

“Don’t you guys have other stuff to do?” He asked as he sat down on his bed and started refolding all of his clothes. He didn’t need to but he wanted to get into the habit of doing those things again.

They got the message and left, leaving his door wide open and everything around the apartment quiet in case he needed to call for them. Tony turned to reach for his phone on the night stand and accidently knocked over the lamp. 

He was lucky he insisted on the metal ones so it didn’t shatter, it just hit the ground in a loud clank and he waved away Clint who came to check on him. His hand-eye coordination for his new arm was terrible. What Tony thought was the worst thing was when he bent down to pick it up and his fingers bent around the lamp. They moved just fine, they just didn’t quite go where he wanted them to and missed by an inch. He really needed to practice.

Tony threw himself back onto the bed and held both his hands out in front of him and began signing. He loved sign language, it was the easiest way to talk to Clint because he never knew when the man had his hearing aids in. The fingers on his flesh hand moved effortlessly, taking the positions he wanted them to and folding into each other perfectly. His new metal hand was still a bit awkward.

“Do you like it?” Tony’s head snapped up at the voice. Bucky was standing in the door, small bag in hand. It had been a few weeks since they taught him to use doors instead of breaking into everyone’s apartments through the windows and recently they even got him to start knocking. Of course, Tony insisted he only had to knock coming into the apartment and before going into the bathroom. He was always welcome in Tony’s room.

“Yeah. Can’t wait to start doing some two arm stuff. Like rock climbing. That’s a thing normal teenagers do, right?” Tony said, smiling at the man as he walked into the room and took his seat by the window. “Anyway, it’s a bit off. Gotta relearn how hands work.”

Bucky nodded as if he completely understood, he probably did. He reached into his small back and pulled out a frumpy shape of red yarn. “I made you a hat.” He tossed it over to Tony. It was too long and some parts of it were too loose but Tony pulled it over his head and smiled. “You know. Winter and stuff is coming up.” Bucky muttered.

“It’s not going to start getting cold for another few months but it’s a sweet hat.” Tony said. He really did love it. It looked like his blanket only smaller and as an article of clothing. “You’re getting better too. It’s not falling apart completely. Good work, even though I still don’t know what possessed you to take up crocheting.”

“I needed a hobby. Keep whining and you won’t get anything anymore.” Bucky said as he pulled out his needles and a ball of yarn. “It’s very calming. I start thinking and remembering all the bad things and everything I di- they made me do. Instead of focusing on destroying things in the past I want to learn how to make things now. You’re mom suggested it.” Bucky said, glancing up to look out the window quickly.

Tony smiled again as he wiggled his new fingers and let the room fall back into silence. It was the perfect blend of quiet with just enough background noise that helped him stay calm. He focused on the clicking of Bucky’s crocheting needles, Lucky’s paws pounding against the floor as he ran about the apartment, Clint and Natasha were in the kitchen cooking and talking. He was a lot less anxious than he was on their trip to Coney Island but he still felt a little of the tightness in his stomach and the crawling under his skin hadn’t stopped.

Tony frowned down at his phone. He wanted to call Pepper, tell her all about the wonderful news about his arm, hear her voice, and have her nag at him about sleeping regularly and eating healthy. However, after everything that happened at AIM he started to worry if she saw all that stuff on the internet too. Rhodey apparently had gotten a promotion over on the Air Force base when they found out he had government security clearance with the Avengers so it all worked out well for him and Lei even called him up from college, angry that he didn’t tell her. Happy didn’t say anything besides the fact that he knew he recognized his parents and all their friends from somewhere. Sam found out about all the stuff that SHIELD documented that led up to him living with them, everything with Howard and Maria until he was adopted, but he didn’t mention it except to say he was there to talk if Tony wanted to. 

No doubt Pepper saw it too. She just hasn’t mentioned it in any of her texts. Tony put his phone back down and went back to his signing. Not even an hour in and Bucky was making another blanket with too many corners, the edges were a lot more even this time though, and Tony’s fingers had finally started cooperating. From the smells drifting into the room he could tell his parents had made pelmeni. His favorite out of all of his mother’s old Russian recipes. He sighed, they were really trying to make this a good day.

“What are you going to do now?” Bucky asked softly, scanning the window again. He was doing that a bit more frequently.

“Therapy.” He said. “I have to work on my issues, I guess.”

He rolled over and pulled his pillow up to his face. Tony was exhausted and wanted to stay in bed. He hoped he would get lucky and they would let him have dinner in his room. It was unlikely but always possible. 

It didn’t go over well with Clint. He picked Tony up and carried him out to the living room and gave him his plate of dumplings. It was nice to hold the plate and his fork at the same time and not do a balancing act on his knees. 

Bucky left. Tony didn’t know why because he usually stayed for dinner. He frowned as he watched the man clutch at his little bag and walk quickly out the front door with only just a nod goodbye. He tried not to think about it too much. If he did that he would start worrying about what he did wrong to make Bucky want to leave. Tony didn’t think he messed anything up so maybe Bucky was just a bit tired that day. Tony had been feeling a bit tired everyday so he wouldn’t push it.

Once he was finished with his pelmeni he went back to his room. Dummy was excited about his new arm and sat by his bed staring at his as he worked on some of the finer movements of his fingers. If he was going to get back into engineering, his fingers had to be steady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have a lot to say today. I'm really tired. Starbucks at 10pm really isn't a good idea because you'll be up until 3am and have to be up at 9am. I'm an idiot but it was pumpkin spice!  
> Meh.  
> Comment, It's for my own good at this point. *puts on blackmail cape*


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than expected to get out but working on this thing and my other tony-angst filled AU (feel free to read and comment and make me happy) that I'm working on and all my school work it's just the thing I needed to slow down.  
> I've been spending a bit more time on Fanfiction.net and I've noticed a lot of their storied up there are about Loki changing his ways and becoming buddy buddy with the Avengers. No. Don't get me wrong, I love Loki. He's a brilliant character, but he's not a nice guy. Did I see the same movies as these guys? Thor gave him every opportunity to stop taking over the world (then he fucking stabbed Thor wtf), brainwashed hawkeye, threw Iron Man out of a window, tried to kill everyone repeatedly, and take over the world. Not gonna be friends with these people. He does love his mom though and I love that. Then he faked his death, did something with his dad, and stole the throne of Asgard. Not a good guy, but a great character and won't be friends with the Avengers. Rant over, sorry. *like super sorry I don't know what happened*

Tony usually didn’t mind therapy. It mostly was very helpful and he liked to feel better because right now he was just afraid. He woke up terrified most days and the feeling seemed to stay with him until he went back to sleep. Sometimes he was scared just sitting in his room working on one of his projects. He was overly terrified standing in front of the building and staring up at it. He wasn’t ready.

“No. Let’s go home.” He said, walking backwards to the car. “Good job, everyone. We gave it our all but now it’s time to go home.”

“Tony.” Natasha said. “This will be good for you. We hear this is a lovely women, she comes highly recommended. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. Just see her.”

“But mom, what if she’s an evil shape-shifting alien and she’s here to steal my brain?” Tony said, gripping at the door handle on Clint’s car to stop his hands from shaking.

“We fought those aliens like three months before we met you. Sure, the shape-shifting was a bit of a problem but all the ones that turned into me were incredibly handsome.” Clint said, smiling softly. “Only took a few hours to take them down, you’ll be okay with us.”

Tony continued to frown up at the building. He didn’t like it but he nodded anyway and followed his parents inside. They took the elevator up to the floor his new therapist was supposed to be on and walked out into a large waiting room with tan walls and cushioned chairs. While Clint and Natasha went to go check in at the reception desk he sat down on the ground next to the magazines.

There were two other people in the waiting room besides them and the receptionist. It was just a mother and her daughter and the woman smiled at Tony as he sat down. He forced a quick smile back at her before looking away. He glanced back every few seconds to make sure they weren’t coming any closer but they seemed non-threatening. When he first met Justin Hammer he thought he was non-threatening, just an idiot with scary goonish bodyguards and a terrifying business partner. That worked out well for him.

A few minutes later his parents came to sit down next to him. Clint continually tapped his feet while Natasha went through all the outdated magazines looking for anything of interest. “Apparently there was a bombing in California. They think it was some terrorist group being led by the Mandarin.” She said quietly, leaning casually into Clint.

“Isn’t that the same guy we thought was working with the Ten Rings last year when they tried blowing up all the SHIELD bases?” Clint asked, looking over to Tony. Tony didn’t mind hearing about it. It wasn’t one of his worse experiences, although unpleasant. He still would have nightmares about the faces of the two men he shot but he had come to terms with the fact that there was nothing else he could do. 

“You guys all gonna suit up and take care of it?” Tony said, raising his eyebrows. Natasha shook her head.

“We’re not working at the moment.” She said simply. “No SHIELD, no organization, no team. At least not right now.”

Tony frowned. If they weren’t off saving the world, then what were they doing? Sure, the government could probably handle this but what about the team? Clint and Natasha had just been focusing on Tony and the funk he had been in the past few days. Steve had been spending a lot of his time taking care of Bucky, teaching him how to take care of himself, and helping him through tough times. However, Bruce and Thor didn’t really have much to do. Thor had Jane and with her level of genius she traveled all over the world for her research and to give lectures. If he decided to go with her that would be something to do but Bruce didn’t really have anything so he might go back to help take care of sick people in other countries. Tony thought he was being selfish but he didn’t want any of them to leave.

They were called into the office then, pulling Tony from his thoughts. He followed his parents into the room. During all of his previous therapy experiences he had them stay in the waiting room, not wanting them to hear him talk about everything he’s been thinking or feeling. This was different though. He was scared and they meant he was safe.

Tony immediately liked the office. The light purple the walls were painted in reminded him of Clint’s favorite shirt with the purple target and the coffee stains. Also, it was quiet. The windows were closed and it clocked out all outside sounds from the street below. He walked over to the couch and sat down while his parents greeted the doctor.

“Hello, Tony. I am Dr. Lafram.” She said as she sat down in the large, plush chair across from the couch. Once everyone was settled they waited for Tony to introduce himself. He didn’t think he needed to, it must have been mentioned when they made they appointment. “We don’t have to get started on anything right away. Just tell me about how you feel, what you like doing, your favorite color. Anything you feel is important I want you to tell me about.”

“Well, I like building things. I’m pretty good at it. I’ve gotten a lot better and it’s gotten so much easier now that I can use two hands.” Tony said slowly, going through his mind about anything that was important to him. “I love my family. There are a lot of them and they’re all really weird. They’re great though, they take care of me.”

Dr. Lafram smiled, nodding for him to continue. Tony didn’t know what else to say because there really wasn’t much in his life at the moment. He didn’t leave the building unless he had to. He didn’t even take Lucky out for walks anymore, Clint mostly did. He did think it was an improvement that he was going to some of the other’s apartments to hang out. Not often but at least he got out.

“Alright, then why don’t you tell me why you think you’re here.” She said calmly.

“My parents made me come. They worry.” Tony said. Natasha hummed at his side and Clint kicked his foot. He sighed and continued. “I’m not going outside that much. I’m scared… all the time. I’m not really sure of what really. Just if it gets too loud or too crowded I think something is happening. My body is always tense, Like it’s wound up and ready to explode. It has been for the past week now. I’m angry too. I’m sick of all these terrible things happening to me and I just walk away more fucked up than before.”

Dr. Lafram nodded, looking intently at him like she was focusing on everything he was saying. Tony didn’t know if she was expecting more. He was feeling a lot all the time. When he wasn’t scared and anxious he was angry or sad. When he wasn’t one of those then he felt nothing at all. Regardless he would stay in his room most of the time. Bucky would keep him company or Lucky or Dummy would come watch him. Sometimes he’d just kick everyone out and curl up under his bed. He didn’t know how to say everything though because he wasn’t too sure what everything meant yet.

He shrugged as if he didn’t have anything else to say. Dr. Lafram smiled warmly at him and looked between his parents to see if they had anything to add. Tony sighed because, of course, they had a lot. “He doesn’t get out of bed most days. Last year, after he started living with us and after the first… incident he hardly slept at all. Now he sleeps most of the day. When he is up he’s tinkering, trying to build and the only person besides us he ever spends time with is Bucky.” Natasha said calmly. Dr. Lafram nodded along as she spoke.

“He’s also still having nightmares.” Clint added quickly.

“Tony, can you describe to me how you feel on one of your worse days and how you would handle it?” She asked. Tony frowned, he could do it. He didn’t want to but he could.

“I feel… sad and pathetic and alone and I have absolutely no motivation or energy to get up and if I somehow do it becomes just a struggle to get things done and I’m barely keeping it together. That’s one kind of bad day.” Tony said slowly. “Another kind is when I start thinking it’s happening all over again. I can’t get all the bad things out of my head and no matter how many grounding techniques I’ve practiced can help me calm down. So I just wait with mom and dad until I calm down and they take care of me. It used to be that I would get too anxious on a particular day and hide under my bed for hours with my blanket until I calm down but I just feel like that all the time now, no matter what so I had to stop that habit. Either way I’m still the smartest kid in America so I will be just fine.”

“He also avoids chairs like the plague.” Clint said. “He used to be on edge just sitting near one. His last therapist was gradually exposing him to them and it got to a point where he could touch a chair and be okay but he had to stop seeing that therapist a while back for work reasons.”

“And what would you like to accomplish while you’re here?” Dr. Lafram asked. She smiled again, encouragingly and patient. 

“I want to go to college eventually. They have a lot of desks so the chair thing would be nice to… uh, fix. I want to calm down. I want to not be sad and scared anymore.” Tony said. He grinned up at her. “I’m too awesome to be bummed out.”

“Treatment will be long and it won’t be easy, you understand?” She asked. Tony nodded, he heard the same speech from almost everyone. “I want to meet with you for an hour twice a week. Also, I’ve read your file and understand if you refuse. However, medication alongside therapy can increase the odds of recovery by 10-20%.”

“But I’ve been doing other things to help with the depression and the anxiety.” Tony muttered, reaching over to grab Nat’s hand. 

“Although exercise and a change in diet can help relieve some of your symptoms, it was never meant to be a long term solution and it doesn’t seem to be effective anymore. I would recommend an antidepressant.” Dr. Lafram said. “The decision is up to you, of course.”

Tony looked over at Clint. He handled it last time. When he was hurt and needed pain killers Clint made sure he took just the amount he needed at the correct time. Tony trusted him to make sure he didn’t start taking too much, to start needing too much. Since Tony first met him, he has always taken care of him. Clint nodded slowly.

“Okay, I’ll let you give them to me but that doesn’t mean I’ll take them.” Tony said. Natasha gave his hand a gentle squeeze and he leaned into her side. “But I think I’m done now. Ready to go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry for the Loki rant. I just get worked up when people write bad guy characters OOC because they can't love them as bad guys. Villains are fucking cool, love them as such.  
> Also, shout out to my Abnormal Psychology class for teaching me about anxiety disorders and treatments so I can hopefully write this as accurate as possible.  
> Comment, I love it. Also, feel free to write a counter-argument, agreement, or addition to my Loki rant.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! My religious grandparents are in town visiting. Luckily they aren't the type to condemn my homosexual lifestyle but instead to sit me down and give me an how long talk about the wonders of Jesus's love. My favorite kind of religious people.  
> Also, sorry this took so long. I've been sick and miserable.

“Tony, please.” Clint asked, holding out the pill. Tony glared at his hand, shifting his weight between legs anxiously before shaking his head again. “Alright. We’ll try again tonight.”

“Just leave me alone.” Tony muttered as he turned away.

Clint had tried every morning and night for three days since Tony’s appointment and he has refused every time. Tony went back to his room and curled up under his blankets, closing the door behind him. “No luck?” Natasha asked as Clint dropped the pill back into the bottle

“Nope. He refuses to take it even if it might help him feel better.” Clint said. “He’s not even talking to me anymore.” He tucked the pill bottle in the drawer in their room. That was one of Tony’s conditions, he didn’t want to know where the medication was.

Clint fell back onto his bed and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Tony’s next appointment was in a few days but he seemed to be getting worse so Clint was worried. Natasha kicked at his foot and walked to the door.

“I’ll go sit with him. You take a break.” She said

Natasha knocked once on Tony’s door and waited for a minute, no less than sixty seconds and walked right in. Tony was curled up under a pile of his blankets and didn’t make a noise as she entered. At first Natasha thought he must have fallen asleep, he had been sleeping all day and was woken up for about twenty minutes so he could eat breakfast and try to get him to take his prescription. Tony’s breathing was too shallow to be asleep, she knew this, but Tony had been so exhausted the past few days that lying in bed seemed to be exactly what he intended to do.

“You shouldn’t be so mean to him. He just wants to help.” Natasha said as she sat down next to him. “He’s been looking out for you since the moment you popped up into our lives, breaking his stuff and hacking into government databases. Go easy on him.”

Tony groaned and rolled over so he was facing her. He didn’t meet her eyes but stared at the fabric of his sheets as he plucked at it. He had gotten used to his metal fingers, gotten them to move effortlessly to his command and it almost felt as natural as his flesh hand. However, the polished metal fingers were terrible at grabbing onto the loose threads of his sheets.

“Sorry. I’m just tired.” Tony muttered. “He worries too much.”

“Of course he worries. He’s only been a dad for a year. Imagine how a normal family would be if they had a one year old baby and the father couldn’t help his kid feel safe and happy.” She reached out and began stroking Tony’s hair. Natasha frowned as he momentarily tensed up under her hand before relaxing a moment later. “Bad night?”

“I’m not a baby.”

“No, but we are still new parents and you’re our new child. I want you to tell us when you’re having trouble.” Natasha said firmly. Tony continued to pull at his bed for a few more seconds before calmly smoothing out the fabric with a sigh.

“I just had a nightmare.” Tony said. He glanced up at his mom quickly. “It was bad so I’m just not in a good mood.”

They didn’t say anything else. Natasha just sat quietly on the bed and ran her fingers through Tony’s unkempt hair while he stared at the wall. Tony used to be full of energy almost every moment he was awake, quick to make a witty comment and have a nickname for someone and Natasha missed those days.

Tony glanced up as his phone started ringing on his nightstand. “It’s Happy.” Natasha said as she glanced at the screen. Tony reached over and grabbed his phone, staring at it for a second before answering.

“Hey.”

“Damn it, Tony. It’s been weeks and I still haven’t seen you and now you don’t return my calls? What gives?” Happy said.

“Sorry. I’ve just been busy.” Tony said. Natasha smiled and walked out of the room, leaving the door wide open.

“Well, you’re not allowed to disappear off the face of the earth. I know you do that all the time but you have Pepper now and she yells at me.” Happy said. Tony laid back down against his pillows and pulled his blankets up close.

“I don’t have Pepper. And when do I ever just disappear?” Tony muttered.

“The first week we met, you were just a little kid wandering around the high school and some kids were picking on you so I beat them up and then you didn’t come to school the next few days. Remember, that was before you won everyone over with your genius.” Happy said. Tony smiled and rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes. “And don’t try to tell me Pepper doesn’t care a lot about you.”

Tony sighed. “Shut up. I’m super busy, okay. Google hired me to design a few new laptops.” He said. “Why don’t you come over and make sure I actually do the work?”

Happy had driven over to the apartment within twenty minutes. Tony thought it was a surprising accomplishment because he lived almost half an hour away. He did get out of bed to meet him and when Happy swept him up into a hug. Tony patted him on the back and pushed him away to sit down.

“It’s great to see you again. You look terrible.” Happy said. “So, Google. That’s awesome.”

“Yeah. They were impressed with some of my other work and heard I made a lot of improvements to my laptop and wanted me to make something.” Tony pulled out his notebook to show Happy his ideas and designs. “Thanks for coming. I wasn’t feeling so great today.”

“No problem. Any time you want me to come over, I can. As long as I’m not working.” Happy said. He paused to look at Tony’s drawings before nodding. “How are you doing?”

“Okay. I got a new therapist and she prescribed me an antidepressant but I don’t think I’m going to take it.” Tony said. Happy frowned, waiting for more of an answer as Tony just shrugged. “I just don’t think I have to take it to function and what if I end up needing it and can’t stop?”

“Well, it looks like you’ve been in bed all day and have been refusing to see any of your friends for weeks. It might just help. And don’t you have a super computer to google how addictive this stuff is?” Happy said. “What are you supposed to be taking?”

Tony quickly grabbed his laptop and turned it on. JARVIS booted up automatically, greeting him with the usual cheery “Hello, sir” and waited for instructions. Lately, all the AI had been doing was playing Tony’s favorite music on loops and naming the hundred closest stars in the universe along with their distances. Only things he found comforting and needed JARVIS to do.

“I’m supposed to take Prozac. J, look into it.” Tony said, putting the computer on the nightstand and slouched against his pillows. “Don’t go into details, I know you. Tell me if it’s addicting.”

“Certainly, sir.” The computer was quiet for a few seconds. Happy kicked off his shoes and crossed his legs against the bed. “It is known to be non-habit forming, although in extreme cases a physical dependence can arise.”

“Thanks J. Just go back to naming the stars.” Tony muttered.

Happy listed to the first few lines of information on the universe and watched the worry smooth out from Tony’s face before he spoke again. He never understood why science was so calming to the kid but he wasn’t going to question it considering how stressed Tony looked when he first arrived.

“Are you going to take it?” He asked. Tony just shrugged and listened as JARVIS explained Bernard’s star, 4th closest to the Earth. “It might help. You used to be so happy and energetic. I remember when you were thirteen and you skipped school. Me and Rhodes weren’t going to let some kid wander around New York by himself so we went with you and we went to Manhattan and you convinced some random business guy on Wall Street to buy stocks in Netflix because you were certain they were going to be awesome for a long time. Then not long after that internet streaming became popular.”

“Your point?” Tony asked. Happy smiled.

“You skipped school, gave business advice to some random guy, and predicted that everyone in the future would love Netfix. You used to do stuff. You were happy all the time too, sure you should have told me about all the stuff with your folks but you were still happy.” Happy said, pausing as Tony clenched up momentarily but nodded for him to continue. “You got a great family now. You deserve to be happy again.”

“I’m just scared.”

“You have every right to be. It was all pretty fucked up.” Happy said. He had seen it all on the news and the internet. If Howard ever got out of prison he would kill him but there was nothing he could do about everything else.

Tony didn’t say anything. He grabbed his notebook from Happy’s hands and continued to scribble lightly. Happy moved to sit down next to Tony while he drew. They sat in silence for a while, listening to his computer name off far away stars and their distances from Earth.

“I invited you over to make sure I worked since I’ve been putting it off.” Tony said after almost half an hour. “What use are you?”

“Well, maybe I care about your health more than Google.” Happy said, relieved Tony didn’t seem angry.

“You all care too much.” Tony said, not looking up from his notebook. “Why don’t you go talk to my parents about your overprotectiveness. Next time you come over we can go visit Cap or something.”

Happy smiled, nodding. Captain America, of course. Tony watched him wave at Clint and Natasha as he left and immediately went back to bed. That visit was long overdue and he had known Happy enough to start hanging out with him again. It certainly wasn’t because Rhodey called and yelled at him.

Tony fell back to sleep. He hadn’t slept most of the night and he was exhausted. Jarvis switched to music and played every song on Tony’s play list on loop for hours until they came to wake him up for dinner. He didn’t have any dreams, good or bad, which Tony didn’t mind because it just meant he would be a little less tired when he woke up.

When dinner was finally ready Natasha shook him awake and all but dragged him to the living room. He didn’t feel like eating but a marathon of his favorite cartoon was on so he didn’t complain.

“Tony, eat.” Natasha said, tapping at his plate with her fork. “It’s good. You like spaghetti.”

Tony nodded and took a bite. “Don’t be upsetti, have some spaghetti.” Clint said. Tony chuckled as Natasha made an audible sigh.

“Thank you. It was an okay day.” Tony said. “It was good to see happy again and you guys are always awesome. Not as awesome as me but you make it work.”

He shoveled a forkful of pasta into his mouth and handed his plate to Natasha. He didn’t even eat half of it but no one was in the mood to argue as Lucky jumped up onto the couch to lie across Tony’s lap. He wiggled deeper into the couch, lying his head in the vacant seat Natasha left as she went to put the dishes away. Clint got up a few moments later and Tony quickly threw his feet up into the spot and closed his eyes.

“Tony. Do you want to take it now?” Clint asked once he came back. Tony opened his eyes to see his dad standing over him, pill bottle in hand. “Remember, you never have to do anything you don’t have to.”

“You’ll make sure I don’t take too much?” He asked slowly. Clint nodded. “Alright.”

“If you start taking them, you’ll have to take it as often as prescribed. Can’t stop because you’re scared.” Tony contemplated it for a moment, looking down at Clint’s outstretched hand with the pill sitting calmly in his palm.

He could do it. Clint would make sure he was okay and JARVIS and Happy said it would probably help. He trusted them. They would never do anything bad to him. Also, Dr. Lafram was a trained professional. She probably knew what she was doing.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted my other fic. I didn't like how it was so I'll probably rewrite it and republish later.  
> Comment on this thing, because I love you and love talking with you about everything!!!!!!!!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chappie! Hope you guys love it as much as I love all of you.  
> I ordered another pizza. My third one this month. I have a problem.  
> It was delicious.  
> Also, came up with an idea for a part 3. You bastards trapped me again!!

Tony hated waiting rooms. There were always people in them. When all of HYDRA’s secrets went public arrests were made all over the country, from SHIELD agents and politicians to football players and CEOs. Anyone could secretly be in HYDRA and that made Tony nervous.

He ignored everyone else in the room and listened to Clint talk about what celebrities wore to which movie premiers as he flipped through a gossip magazine. Tony brought a book that Bruce recommended but he didn’t feel safe enough to read it at that moment.

Once they were all called into Dr. Lafram’s office, Tony sat down on the couch immediately. “You know, my old therapist would give me candy.” He said offhandedly as he passed her. 

“Would you like me to bring you in some? Does it comfort you?” Dr. Lafram asked.

“I just like candy.” Tony said. “Don’t worry about it, I can get my own candy.”

Clint and Natasha sat on either side of him on the couch with Dr. Lafram sitting in front of them. His eyes flickered to the window at every loud sound coming from the street. His stomach was spinning in circles and his hands shook.

“You seem nervous. Are you alright?” She asked.

Tony shook his head. He was nervous, extremely so. He remembered the horrible trip and how he had felt then. “I’m just tired. I should have stayed in bed.” 

“No, you slept almost twelve hours today.” Natasha said, shaking her head. Tony shrugged and Dr. Lafram smiled calmly at him. “But he has started taking his medications two days ago, we’re very proud of him.

“That’s excellent. Keep in mind that it may take several weeks before you start to feel any different.” She said. Tony nodded and glanced at the window as a car honked by. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re feeling? Emotionally, physically, anything you feel you can tell me about.” 

Tony stopped for a moment to contemplate how he was feeling, to see if he could understand it. He felt like he was going to throw up, that was the most obvious. He knew he wasn’t but the tightness in his stomach and flips his gut made gave him the feeling. The rest of his muscles were clenched as well. They usually were most days and when he tried to force himself to relax it either made him more nervous than he already was it made his whole body ache. Mostly he was just scared all day, waiting for the next big horrible thing to happen to him. When he wasn’t worrying he felt drained and exhausted and could sleep for hours. He told her all of this, explaining it as best as he could and she listened.

“It sounds like you’re constantly on edge. The body has trouble functioning over long periods of intense anxiety and stress.” Dr. Lafram said. She leaned forward in her chair gently to listen. “Tell me what you think about when you start to feel this way.”

“I start thinking about all the bad things. Like Howard and Maria, sometimes. Mostly it’s the wonderful overnighter I had with Hammer and Stane.” Tony said, glancing quickly at Clint and Natasha on either side of him before looking at the ground. They were there, they would take care of him and he knew it was okay. “Sometimes I think about HYDRA. I try not to but I do. I thought I was safe and okay because it had been a long time since anything bad happened. What if something happens again?”

“Do you feel safe now?” She asked. Tony took a moment before shaking his head, frowning at the defeated sigh Clint let out. “It’s alright. You had something terrible happen so it’s perfectly normal to be afraid that it might happen again. But it’s important for you to feel safe in your environment. Once you leave here, if you ever feel too scared, too frightened, I want you to go to the place you feel the safest and repeat to yourself that you are alright. It could be in your room or with someone you trust or it could change with every situation.”

Tony nodded slowly. “What’s that going to do?”

“Hopefully it will help calm you down and eventually you will convince yourself that you are safe.” Dr. Lafram said.

Tony didn’t say anything else. Instead Dr. Lafram gave him homework, things he was to do at home to help manage his stress and anxiety because he was too wound up all the time and needed to relax. He didn’t really pay much attention, he was tired. Tony was exhausted from everything he had done throughout the day and was ready to go home. He knew Natasha always listened to everything so he could just ask her about it later.

When the session was finally over he followed Clint out to the car while Natasha talked to the receptionist. He was relieved to be out. Now he only had one more session that week but he was sure he could talk himself out of it. Tony liked therapy and working through his problems and everything but twice a week was too much.

Natasha came out of the building after a few minutes. Tony went straight to his room, kicked off his shoes, and collapsed onto the bed. Lucky jumped up to lay next to him and he curled into the warmth.

“Nope, you’ve slept enough. You have to get up and do something.” Clint said. He walked into the room and fell onto the bed next to Tony. He shook the boy’s shoulder until he lifted his head and groaned.

“No.”

“Tony, you can’t sleep all day. It’s not healthy.” Natasha said, standing in the doorway. “You can do whatever you want, even watch tv all day but you have to get out of bed. Remember, you still have that Google thing that you signed up for.”

“I’ll get it done. It’s not like I have an immediate deadline or anything. Besides, I’m a super genius. They’ll love whatever I give them.” Tony said as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

Tony thought about getting his contracts out of the way. He did enjoy working and he agreed to do it to fill time and that’s just what he needed. However, besides Happy he hasn’t seen anyone come by. Tony almost wanted to go visit with all of them. Even Thor, who always spoke too loud and most of the time made no sense when he started telling his alien battle stories. He could talk science with Jane or Bruce. Bucky and Steve hadn’t been over the past few days and Tony missed them.

In the end he decided to visit Thor and Jane. Seeing them was always a distraction and he hadn’t seen them since the trip to Coney Island. He dug through his bookshelf until he found his copy of Catcher in the Rye to let Thor borrow to further his education on Earth Literature and walked to their apartment.

“Tony, good to see you!” Jane said, surprise written across her face when she saw him.

“I bet. Nice to see you too.” Tony said. She dragged him into the living room and sat him down. He had never been in their apartment before. He looked around at the strange decorations, alien artifacts and normal American home décor. “If I touch some of this stuff will I get some strange alien curse?”

“Probably not. I’ll get you some tea. Thor will be right out.” She said before walking quickly to the kitchen.

Tony looked at the beautifully at the embroidered length of fabric that laid across the couch. It was a dark red and written on it were golden letters spelling out words in a language Tony didn’t understand.

“My mother made that.” Thor said, walking into the room with a large smile plastered across his face. “It is a travel shroud. It brings good luck to those away from home. Although my new home is here with my lady, Jane, I keep it anyway.”

He smiled. It was a beautiful sentiment and Tony understood. He felt that his new home was with Clint and Natasha but there was nothing wrong with holding on to the past just a little bit, at least the good moments of it. Holding onto the bad parts is what’s getting him into trouble and he came over here to not think about all of that.

“I brought over a new book. This one is pretty short so you’ll probably be done within a day.” Tony said quickly. Thor’s face lit up and he walked over to grab a book off of the shelf.

“Excellent, my young friend. I have finished your ‘One Hundred Years of Solitude’ and I was fascinated by the characters constantly being plagued by fate.” Thor said loudly as he handed the book over. “I look forward to reading this ‘Catcher in the Rye’.”

“Yes. Both books are wonderful. Everyone should read them.” Tony said. Jane walked in then and handed Tony his tea. “How’s the intergalactic space travel coming?” Tony changed the subject again. He found that he did that when he was tired and in an unfamiliar environment. His hands shook slightly as Thor’s voice grew casually louder and he didn’t know what to do.

“Well, I’ve been a bit busy but still thinking about it. If we pull it off where do you want to go first?” Jane asked, glancing over to Thor. “Maybe everyone could enjoy a trip to Asgard.”

“Vanaheim is lovely. It is the home of my shield brother Hogun. We would be greeted most honorably.” Thor boomed with excitement.

“What about that planet, Ariel, from Firefly? That planet seemed awesome.” Tony said in a quiet voice. “Has Thor seen Firefly yet? It’s incredible, I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Thor gave a loud cheer before clapping Tony on the back, causing him to recoil slightly and tense. “I have seen this show. Incredible how even without your travels, Midgardians still dream of the universe.” Tony nodded and glanced towards the door. Thor paused for a moment before continuing. “Certainly it has been a long day for us all. We should get our rest.”

“Yes, we never know when you’ll have to stop a mole people invasion. Got watch out for those guys.” Tony said, taking one last sip of tea before heading for the door. “You guys were great. I’m glad I came over.”

“We are too, Tony.” Jane said, pulling him into a gently hug. “You take care of yourself and if you ever feel like having us come over then just give us a call.”

Tony slipped back to his own apartment and collapsed on the couch next to Clint. He grabbed the remote and turned down the volume and closed his eyes. He tapped his metal fingers against his thigh as he listened to the low sounds of the tv, Natasha in the kitchen, and Clint picking up the remote to change channels.

Tony liked the quiet. Not the overwhelming lack of sound, he liked hearing people around but he didn’t want to be smothered by loud noises. He knew he wasn’t alone then but also allowed for him to almost calm down. Thor was great but everything about him was loud. Tony decided he would visit either Bruce or Bucky and Steve next. They were quiet and he hadn’t seen them in a while. 

He ate his dinner quickly and quietly. Tony felt a little pathetic. He loved these people, they were his family, and he had to force himself to go see them and he couldn’t even stay for that long. He felt that he should be able to do those things, he used to be able to go out and see people and feel fine.

He put his half-finished plate on the coffee table and walked off to his room and curled up under the blankets on his bed. If he couldn’t do the simplest thing like leave his apartment and visit people then he would just continue to hide in bed.

“Tony, here you go.” Clint said, lightly tapping his shoulder. Tony looked at him and the pill he was holding out in his hand before reaching out and taking it. “We love you. You know that, right? You’re the best kid ever.”

“I love you guys too.” Tony said before retreating back under the covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm at 499 comments so the first one to comment on this will be my 500th comment yay!!!!  
> Just write whatever you want, I love comments. I like talking with you guys.  
> Comment, first one is a winner.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chappie! You guys are wonderful. Just letting you guys know that the other fic I'm working on is going through a rewrite and possibly a renaming. Also I have a few papers to work on in a few classes and poems due in my creative writing class. I literally wrote a poem about how I am dirt, but I did it beautifully.

It had been a week since Tony’s first appointment, he meets with Dr. Lafram every Tuesday and Thursday, and he was thinking of ways to convince his parents to let him quit. So far the pills weren’t working and the activities he was supposed to do at home to help him seemed ridiculous. The ‘homework’ assigned to him was to write himself messages on notecards. Dr. Lafram gave him a list of positive messages to write down and repeat to himself if he’s having a bad day and needed extra help.

“This is stupid. If I’m having a panic attack I’m not going to read this.” Tony muttered. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and tensed up automatically as a car honked as it drove by the building. Natasha looked up from the papers Dr. Lafram had given them and frowned.

“Tony, it’s going to help. Write it down.” She said. Tony ignored the frantic beating of his heart and clenched his hands.

“But it’s already printed out on the paper so why do I have to just copy it onto the stupid card?” Tony asked, looking between the list of encouraging phrases he was given and his small stack of note cards.

“You remember things better when you write them down. Now do it.” Natasha smiled softly and nodded towards the pen in his hand.

Tony sighed and picked up the card. _This will pass, it’s only temporary._ Tony wrote it quickly and handed them to his mom before grabbing another card. He writes out messages for numerous situations, if he becomes too anxious, too upset, or just general encouraging sayings to help him feel better about himself. He handed them all to Natasha and doubted he would ever see them again.

She gave him a light kiss on the forehead and told him he did well. “As a treat for doing such a good job you can pick what we have for dinner.”

“Taco Bell.” Tony muttered.

Natasha sighed as she started sorting the cards. She handed the small pile over to Tony. “Hold onto those and put them in places you’ll see them every day.”

“This is stupid.” He said. He looked through the hastily written messages written on them telling him everything will be okay and how recovery is a work in progress and shoved the stack into the pocket of his sweatpants. “What other useless exercise do I have to do to magically get better?” He said as he fell back unto his pillows.

“Nothing. You can do anything you want. Out of bed.” Natasha said. She started gathering up all the pen, papers and leftover notecards and put them up in her room.

Tony grabbed up his comforter and dragged it out into the living room. Clint was sitting on the couch polishing his bow so he just collapsed down next to him with his blanket and reached for the remote. “You’re not going to watch tv all day.” Clint said without looking up.

Tony whined and leaned into Clint’s side, burying his head into the man’s shoulder. “But I’m tired. Don’t make me do stuff.”

Clint shrugged and put down his bow. “You know we’re only trying to help.” He said, elbowing the teen lightly. Tony just whined louder and pulled his blankets over his head. “There is a lot of fun stuff we can do. We could walk Lucky, take him to the park.”

“Why would I do that?” Tony asked quickly. He loved Lucky and felt terrible that he didn’t take care of him like he used to. He didn’t take the dog out like he used to. Now he would sit around and watch tv and Lucky would jump up and lie next to him. Tony didn’t want to take him outside. He couldn’t even think about going outside.

“Fine. Did I ever teach you how to properly disarm someone?” Clint asked. Tony nodded. “Wanna learn how to accurately clean a firearm?” He asked, smiling brightly.

“No. I’m not going to clean your guns. You take me for a fool.” Tony said, throwing off his blankets. “I’m going to go see Steve and Bucky. They haven’t been by in a while.”

Clint nodded and picked up his bow to finish polishing it as Tony walked out the door. He rubbed his hands together nervously as he rushed towards Steve’s apartment and knocked loudly. Tony’s hands shook slightly as he wondered if they weren’t home, they were taking too long answering the door. Certainly Bucky would be around. Maybe they just didn’t want to put up with him today.

Tony sighed as the door opened and Steve smiled at him. “Hey Tony. Long time no see. Come on in.”

Steve’s apartment seemed so normal. Tony hated it. It wasn’t full of alien trinkets and science journals and there probably weren’t weapons hidden in every room. It just looked like a normal apartment. There were books on the coffee table and a movie paused on the tv and absolutely nothing extraordinary could be seen except for the shield lying ready by the couch.

“Where’s Bucky?” Tony asked as he looked around. He shifted from foot to foot and Steve nodded towards a door down the hall.

“He’s in his room. Buck hasn’t been feeling up to going out recently but I’m sure he would love to see you.”

He knocked lightly on the door before walking in. Bucky was sitting up in his bed and staring out the window. Tony stood in the doorway and waited, not wanting to startle him.

“What do you want, Tony?” Bucky asked.

“I was having an exhausting day and I was done doing everything my therapist wanted me to do today so I thought I would come see my favorite old person.” Tony said, nervously rubbing his hands together. The metal was cold as it curled around his flesh hand. He didn’t find it comforting at all and started going over possibilities to mimic the human body temperature without overheating problems. “Don’t want to hang out anymore?”

Bucky glanced over quickly before looking back towards the window. Tony’s heart picked up again and his body tensed as he went to look at the floor. He knew there was always the possibility that Bucky just didn’t want to be his friend anymore and therefore hadn’t come over in over a week. He started making a mental list of everything he had done wrong, maybe he talked too much, spent too much time building something and didn’t pay attention, or he could have just been too annoying and stupid.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky muttered. Tony looked back over to him. He had moved from the window and was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking like he was halfway to standing up but unsure if he should.

“For what?” Tony said.

“You’re scared.” He said. Tony clenched his fists in an attempt to still his shaking hands and took a deep breath. “You’re always scared. It’s my fault.”

Tony moved slowly over to the bed and sat down next to him. He didn’t say anything, waiting for Bucky to tell him to leave forever or that he was useless and didn’t want him around. Bucky didn’t say any of that, just quietly whispered apologies under his breath.

“Stop. You didn’t do anything.” Tony said.

“I took you and I let them hurt you. Now you’re scared and it’s all my fault.” Bucky said. Tony sighed and elbowed him lightly. “I’m a monster. I might hurt you and you’re scared of me.”

Tony shook his head. “One time I didn’t know a cashier was trying to give me change so I fist-bumped him. I was too nervous and embarrassed to ever go back to that gas station.” Bucky sighed and looked towards the door. “When I first met Clint I was scared of him because he kept threatening me with ‘pranks that would ruin my life’ and then he grabbed me one time as a joke and I freaked out. Everyone started worrying about me then so I just lied about everything and pretended everything was fine but I was kind of worried around everything, thinking they would find out.”

“About Howard?” Bucky asked. Tony nodded. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I do stupid things and then I just get nervous and scared all the time. You didn’t do anything wrong and I’m certainly not scared of you. Things always work out eventually though.” Tony said. “Moral of the story is that I’m a nervous person and sometimes I'm just scared of things and that doesn't mean I'm scared of you. I get scared of nothing at all. I was scared of Clint and he turned into a huge loveable idiot. You are also a huge loveable idiot so shut up.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. Tony could see the wheels turning in his head and the lines in his face smoothing out. He never put much weight on his ability to convince people about anything but if he could convince Bucky that he wasn’t a monster and that he wasn’t scared of him then he would consider it his greatest feature. Tony felt the knots in his stomach ease as Bucky nodded and reached for his crocheting needles.

“What did your therapist make you do?” Bucky asked quietly. Tony quickly ripped out the notecards from his pocket and flipped through them.

“I had to write down these stupid phrases. Look at this, ‘Slow progress is better than no progress’ and ‘I’ve gotten through this before, I can do it again.’ It’s stupid.” Tony said. “It’s supposed to help me change my negative thoughts into positive ones.”

“Okay. Keep doing that.” Bucky said softly. Tony groaned, shoving the cards back into his pocket. He reached over to look at the length of yarn in Bucky’s hands, curious at its bright green color. He pulled his hands back slightly as Tony edged closer.

Tony withdrew quickly. “Mom’s getting Taco Bell later. You and the star spangled meat ball can come over if you want. Clint always orders too much.” He asked hopefully. He didn’t know if Bucky was still nervous about being near him or if he just wanted him to leave but he was leaving the invitation open.

Bucky paused. “Will you keep doing your stupid therapy activities?” He asked. Tony sighed but nodded anyway. “Okay, we’ll come to dinner.”

Tony smiled. He considered this progress. He left his room to talk to people. A week before he was sleeping more than twelve hours a day and felt like the world was collapsing around him. Now he felt like he was holding himself together, barely but he was managing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're learning about therapy techniques in my Abnoral Psych class so that's useful. Probably more accurate than all of the google research I have been doing for this thing. I study more for this fic than I do for my classes and that's probably not a good thing. Oh well.  
> *shameless self-promotion: whothefrickleisbucky.tumblr.com *  
> Comment, it makes me happy and I love it. No comments make me sad. :(


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading a lot of de-aging fics lately and I started thinking about what would happen if this Clint and Natasha had gotten a baby Tony. Natasha, having no previous experience with children, would probably just put him in a bouncy chair in front of the tv and sit next to him, talking to him casually about the weather and politics and singing lullabies while internally freaking out because she doesn't know how to care for a baby. I then see Clint going into full baby-care mode, changing diapers, making bottles, doing baby talk while he has burp rags hanging off his shoulders and drool on his shirt. There you go, my headcanon how this fic's version of Clint and Nat would take care of baby Tony.

Tony nervously passed the red hat Bucky had made him from hand to hand. Lucky was sitting in front of him by the door patiently and Dummy was holding up the leash, waiting for him to take it. He hardly ever left the house, too afraid of what could potentially happen. He only ever went outside when he was forced to go somewhere, which was only ever to the doctor or therapy, but Dr. Lafram insisted that he continue to do things even if he was anxious and terrified. So he was taking Lucky for a walk.

“You’ll be alright. I’m coming with you so everything will be okay.” Clint said, leaning against the door. “Tell me what you’re afraid of.” Tony shrugged and looked down at the leash Dummy was holding out to him.

“I don’t know. People. The bad ones.” Tony said. “They’re going to come back and take me away again.”

“Is that possible?” Clint asked. Tony nodded. “Is it probable?”

Tony frowned at the question. The two times he was taken against his will Clint wasn’t around, the man was always armed with something even if no one noticed whenever he had to be patted down or go through a metal detector. He knew Clint was dangerous, whatever weapons he had on him could probably take out an army when coupled with his skills. If someone did come they couldn’t get through Clint.

Tony also knew that most of the bad guys were gone. HYDRA was mostly wiped out once everything was made public, arrests were all over the news the first few weeks. If there were any of them left they would be too busy hiding and trying to rebuild their organization to come after him. The main threat was any of SHIELD’s or the Avenger’s old enemies. Although their identities were made public no one knew where exactly they were living, except a few friends, ex SHIELD agents, and doctors.

“No, it’s not probable.” Tony said. He shoved Bucky’s red hat into the pocket of his jeans, his usual pillar of safety was the knitted red blanket that Natasha had given him but he couldn’t bring that with him everywhere so the red hat that was made by someone he trusted immensely in the same material was the perfect portable option, and reached for the leash.

Lucky jumped around excitedly as Tony attached it to the dog’s collar and followed Clint out the door. He stood on the sidewalk for a few minutes, Lucky yanking on him to go down the street. When Tony refused to move he tried to go the opposite way. Eventually the dog just stopped pulling and sat down next to him. Tony watched nervously at all the people and cars going by. Clint waited patiently at his side and Lucky whined quietly.

“Can’t we just take him for a drive?” Tony asked, reaching down to pet the dog.

“Nah, dogs need exercise. I understand that you’re nervous and that you feel unsafe but no matter what happens I’ll protect you and this is good for your recovery.” Clint said calmly.

Tony nodded and started walking slowly down the sidewalk. Lucky took that as his cue to start hurrying him along, sniffing at everything he found. Tony kept the pace slow no matter how hard the dog pulled on the leash and refused to let himself be dragged over towards the more crowded areas of people bunched together tightly on the sidewalk.

Once they reached the park it was easier. There were more people but they were spread out enough that Tony could avoid them completely. Tony relaxed his shoulders and let Lucky go where he wanted most of the time, steering away from the larger crowds that the dog was occasionally drawn to.

“How have you been feeling lately?” Clint asked as they walked through the grass. Tony shrugged.

“Pretty good. I’ve been doing everything you guys tell me to. Not sure if I’m actually feeling better yet but whatever.” He muttered. Honesty was important and he knew that it could take time. He still flinched when screaming children ran by and walked closer to Clint’s side than he cared to admit but at least he was out. He didn’t say anything when his free hand subconsciously went to his pocket to grip the hat as an anchor. “I checked my twitter for the first time since everything happened because the doc told me to do things I used to do even if I’m still nervous about it. Apparently making my whole life a public thing gained me over 600,000 followers. Most of them are pretty nice and encouraging.”

“Any celebrities? This could be our chance to meet a Kardashian.” Clint asked slowly. One thing about most of SHIELD’s files being made public was that everything on Tony was too. Everything about being taken from his birth parents, his adoption, details of his kidnapping, and medical records were published on the internet and were a trending topic for weeks. Clint hated it, figured that he should have known that two avengers adopting a kid would be big news. Tony had sworn off the internet for a long time to avoid the fallout, using Jarvis as a middleman if he needed to google something.

“No Kardashians but I did get a tweet from Beyoncé. She told me I was a strong kid and wished me the best.” Tony muttered. “I feel like I’ve been given a sainthood.”

Clint frowned, worried about what sort of pressure Tony might be feeling. If Tony felt at all compelled to connect his recovery to how other people might perceive it then Clint would cancel the internet immediately.

“How does that feel?” Clint said. Tony chuckled, pulling Lucky back as he tried to rush towards a group of other people walking their dogs.

“Okay, Beyoncé gave me her blessing so I’ll probably be granted immortality soon.” Tony said. “Other than being acknowledged by one of the top five women of the generation it feels alright. Most people tweeting me are asking about life with the Avengers. I should start a blog. Other than that a lot of them are just people offering support and telling me how good I’m doing. It’s weird.”

Clint smiled and nodded. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. I should probably call Pepper. Then maybe I’ll tweet a selfie or something when I start feeling better.” Tony said, turning around and Lucky changed direction so he could run ahead again as they headed back.

The day was a success in Clint’s mind. Tony had been pushed out of his comfort zone and spent time in the public, he made plans to reconnect with another friend and social media sites. Clint saw a slight shift in Tony’s view of the public, before they were all a group of likely villains out to hurt him and now they were people who were encouraging and kind but he still would get too close to. Clint considered it an improvement, especially when Tony said ‘when I start to feel better’ as if he had made it a set goal.

Tony collapsed in bed the moment they got home and Clint let him, knowing that the day was probably physically and emotionally exhausting. Dummy went in to keep him awake while Clint told Natasha about their day out.

Tony ignored the hushed whispers coming from the living room, they sounded positive enough for him not to worry. He rubbed his right calf as Dummy continued to poke his face. He was limping on his bad leg by the time they got home and he didn’t think he could stand on it for very long so lying in bed was the logical alternative but the no napping rule was still terrible.

Eventually he pushed away the bot and sat up. He would have to do something to keep himself awake. Tony had finished all his contracts; Google was pleased with his work and offered Tony a full-time engineering position that Natasha made him turn down. He wished she didn’t so he would actually have work. Instead he texted Happy, telling him he was free to come over for dinner if he wanted to. He always got a reward when he did something Dr. Lafram recommended and it was usually food, much to his pleasure.

He continued to look at his phone. Calling Pepper was out of the question, he didn’t think he could stand hearing her. He hadn’t known her long enough to know which tone of voice meant what and he knew his boundaries well enough to know he would jump to the wrong conclusions. Instead he typed a quick text.

_Sorry for disappearing. I hit a rough patch. ~Tony_

His heart pounded frantically as he stared at his phone. Nothing happened for a few minutes. Thoughts rushed through his mind, ranging from thinking that she was just busy to how he had screwed things up so bad she would never want to see or speak to him again. He pulled the red hat out of his pocket and over his head, never far down enough to cover his eyes, as he waited. He was about to throw his phone and crawl up under his blankets again when it lit up and vibrated.

_First off, you are never allowed to drop off the face of the Earth and stop contacting me entirely ever again. I want to know you’re alive and okay at all times. Secondly, you’re my friend. I understand if you’re having trouble and need space. Just talk to me. ~Pepper_

Tony let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and relaxed back onto the bed, curling into the pillows. His phone lit up again before he could type a reply.

_Anyway, how are you doing? Eating? Getting enough sleep? Make sure you take care of yourself. Have a bubble bath or something. ~Pepper_

He smiled at the message. Dummy had went back to poking his face to make sure he didn’t fall asleep and Tony continued to try to wave him away.

“I’m awake, chill. Go do the dishes or something.” Tony muttered. Dummy whirred excitedly and wheeled out of the room.

_I’ve never had a bubble bath and trust me when I say I’m getting enough sleep. I’m doing my best and getting help, just trying to talk to my friends again. ~Tony_

_Well, I care. I’m here if you need me. Get some stuff that smells nice, like candles. A really nice way to treat yourself is to have a room that smells like oranges. ~Pepper_

Tony told her to have a good day before putting his phone down again. He figured he had done enough that day and deserved a break. No more talking to people, no more outside, he just wanted to lie around and rest. Not even sleep, just take a break.

He grabbed his blankets and pillows and limped out into the living room, still aware of how sore his leg was. He curled up on the couch and turned the tv to Cartoon Network. Natasha gave him a light kiss on the forehead before sitting down by his feet with Clint on the phone ordering Chinese. He muttered casually that Happy would be over later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to stop getting pumpkin fraps from starbucks in the middle of the nights and then staying up all night to write. It's not healthy for me. I hope you liked it!!! Tony is a celebrity now. How do you guys feel about that? How do you think he'll handle his internet fame?? Also, how do you think the avengers would handle a baby Tony?  
> Comment, I love them and will always reply because you guys are my loves.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all! This one isn't fun but luckily Tony has a wonderful support system to help him through it. Also, it's officially fall break at my uni so I have a lot more writing time on my hands. Watch out!

Tony wasn’t holding it together anymore. He had locked himself in the bathroom and refused to talk to anyone, Clint was posted outside the door demanding that he open it while Natasha called Dr. Lafram. Tony ignored them, holding himself silently as he curled up in the bathtub and tried to stop himself from shaking. 

He didn’t think he could do it anymore. He did all the homework, took all his medicine, and did everything they asked him to even if he was tired or scared. Tony didn’t think he could do that anymore, he wasn’t strong enough. He thought he was too weak and worthless and afraid to keep on trying to get better and it was better to just hide away then face the disappointed faces of everyone out there. Tony knew he failed and if giving up meant spending the rest of his miserable life hiding out in the bathtub then he was just fine with that.

“Tony, if you don’t open this door within the next thirty seconds I will kick it down. I own the building, don’t think I won’t.” Clint said loudly. 

Tony wanted to be alone, he didn’t think he could handle anyone realizing how hopeless he was and how pointless all of this had been. He was wasting time, he knew he was. If he could figure out how to stop being a pathetic emotional wreck then everyone could go on with their lives and be happy again. They didn’t need him, Tony just thought he was holding them back.

He didn’t hear anything but Clint was suddenly there, sitting down in the bathtub and wrapping his arms around him gently. Tony let out a quiet sob as he buried his face into Clint’s shoulder, wordlessly clutching at the front of his shirt and pulling him close.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do it anymore. Nothing’s working and it’s always going to be like this and I don’t want to feel this the time.” Tony muttered against Clint’s shoulder. He bit his lip when he heard the words tumble from his mouth and felt his dad’s arms tighten softly around him. “You didn’t actually kick down the door, did you?” Clint shook his head.

“No, I’m a spy. I can pick a lock in record time.” He muttered. 

He held onto Clint like a lifeline, Tony wasn’t sure what would happen if he let go but he was certain he was about to fall apart entirely and if he was going to be viewed as a hopeless codependent failure by his parents then he was going to do it in one piece. 

“Do you want to go sit out in the living room?” Clint asked. Tony shook his head quickly, he didn’t want to move. He felt safe hiding in the bathtub. “You’re going to be okay. It’s just a bad day, we all have bad days. You’ll get through this and things will get better.”

Tony nodded. They kept saying everything would be fine and he would feel better and usually when he did feel this way he eventually did feel normal after a while but it always came back. Tony didn’t want that anymore, he didn’t want the endless cycle of feeling horrible and then feeling a little okay.

“I’m screwed up. I’m sorry.” He said. “You don’t have to keep taking care of me. Just go do whatever I’ll be fine.”

“What for?” Clint asked. Tony shrugged and pulled away, scooting to the other end of the bathtub. 

“Everyone would be perfectly happy if I wasn’t so fucking pathetic. You guys could have actual lives instead of spending every waking moment taking care of me. You could all get back to work and help people and save the world but instead I’m incapable of being okay.” Tony said. 

Clint sighed, looking up at Natasha. She was standing in the doorway watching them closely. Tony hadn’t heard her come in but he was used to his parent’s silent movements throughout the apartment. She watched him carefully, making sure he was alright and ready to step in if necessary.

“Why do you feel this way?” She asked. Tony shrugged. Natasha raised her eyebrows and waited.

“Nothing.” He said. They continued to stare at him until he was ready to give an appropriate answer. “You guys are great but…”

“Do you want me to go get Bruce? You like talking to him.” Clint asked, climbing out of the bathtub. Tony shook his head, he didn’t feel like he could burden his parents anymore and everyone else needed to get on with their lives too. “You want to call Phil? Agent? He’s hiding out with a group of rogue SHIELD agents in some bunker somewhere but I have his number.”

The way Tony thought about it, Coulson wasn’t around. He was off doing his own thing and one little phone call from him couldn’t possibly ruin everything he was doing. He would have an outside perspective and Tony wasn’t going to deny Coulson knew everything.

“I’m going to sit right outside the door.” Natasha said, taking a few steps out of the bathroom and stopping at the wall in the hallway so she could still watch him. Clint dialed the number and handed over the phone. He came out to join her in the hall, looking over expectantly. She leaned over and whispered to him. “Dr. Lafram said that we shouldn’t have him stop his medication and just watch him to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”

Clint groaned and sat down next to her. He reached up to hold her hand as he looked into the bathroom to watch Tony just sit in the bathtub and whisper quietly into the phone. 

“What’s he saying? I can’t hear him when he whispers like that.” Clint muttered.

“He says he thinks he’s worthless and holding us all back from our jobs.” Natasha said quietly, she slid down the wall to sit down next to him. “But don’t worry, he’s also explaining to Phil that he knows he shouldn’t be thinking that but he can’t help it. Being aware of his negative thoughts if the first step towards changing them to positive ones.” Clint titled his head to hear her soft whispers and pulled her close. She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder.

~~~

“Tell me what triggered these feelings.” Coulson said. Tony could hear rustling on the other end of the phone. He knew Agent was probably busy what with everything at SHIELD and in the world falling apart but he still focused enough to talk to him. Tony liked that, he knew he couldn’t tear Coulson away from his work.

“There was another Mandarin bombing. If it wasn’t for me they could all be out saving the world again but I’m incapable of being okay so they’re stuck here.” Tony whispered.

Phil sighed quietly. There was a moment before either of them spoke again and Tony thought he should just hang up and hide away until a new solution came. “Tony, they’re not stopping those bombings because of you. They’re doing it because they have faith in the government to handle it and all of the Avengers, for the first time in years, have a legitimate reason to stop all the missions and take a break. Coulson said calmly. “If someone would have told me a few years ago that Clint Barton would be a father and husband I would have laughed. He was always hopping from mission to the next, sure quiet of them were with Natasha and he lived with the rest of the Avengers but he was still away most of the year. Also he used to swear up and down he wouldn’t have kids, he practically was a kid. But he really fell into the family role like he was born for it. There isn’t a chance in hell he would ever go back. Don’t even get me started on explaining Natasha.”

“No, do get started on explaining Natasha.” Tony muttered, dropping his voice when he looked over to his parents. They were sitting comfortably right outside the door and seemed almost at ease as they cuddled.

“Alright. Your mother was-is hardcore. I’ve seen her destroy some of SHIELD’s most wanted criminals with her bare hands. She was married to her work. Natasha Romanov, whenever she was asked about her future, would always say she was too busy for the future and ask for another mission. She was working from the moment she popped up on our radar through her entire employment. She had small breaks when she became an Avenger and went on a lot less missions so she could be on call for an emergency but pretty much her first almost vacation was when we assigned her and Clint to hide out in the city with you last year.” Coulson said, letting out a soft chuckle. “Reading her weekly reports was an adventure. She would start them off by saying there was no suspicious activity in the area and then go on and on about how she figured out your favorite meals and how well you were picking up Russian. Then she would finish her report on how she was keeping up with her training.”

Tony nodded, knowing Coulson couldn’t see him. He already knew he was important to them and he loved his parents very much but he couldn’t take all the worried glances anymore. “And this all means?” He asked. 

“That you’re not ruining their lives. You gave them a life. They’re not going after the bombers because they have faith in the investigation and they, I mean all the Avengers when I say this, want to sit back and take it easy for a while. Like you said earlier, your mind is immediately going to the negative and you’re going to have to give it time and effort to feel better again.” Coulson said. It went silent on the other end of the phone for a moment, whatever papers he was shuffling through or objects he was moving around stopped. “Just promise me you’ll give it a few months and you won’t make any big decisions with talking to your parents.”

“Yeah, relax. I don’t make decisions. Why? Do you think I’m going to run away again?” Tony asked. “Take that Google job out in California and change my name to Alexander. I wouldn’t do that. I’m your little Coulsling.”

“I will destroy Hill for coining that term. She has Skye using it now.” Coulson said quickly. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Tony said, hanging up. He probably should have said ‘goodbye’ or ‘come visit soon’ but he was getting tired of the bathtub and just wanted to go to bed. 

He tossed the phone back to Clint as he passed him in the hallway and went straight to his room. Tony quickly crawled under the covers and pulled all his pillows close. He didn’t move as Lucky jumped up onto the bed to lay down next to him and he didn’t say anything when Natasha came in to ask if he was alright. He just wanted to focus on telling himself that he wasn’t ruining everything and that everyone was perfectly happy having him around.

“Things are going to get better.” He said, knowing full well Natasha didn’t leave the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Antidepressants can take over a month to kick in and poor Tony starting to feel down again before he starting to feel better. I'm sorry. Good thing he is surrounded by supporting people who will do anything to make sure he's okay. I'm going to make it better, I promise. (there is always the possibility I am lying but would I do that??)  
> Comment, you guys are brilliant and I like reading what you have to say.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank all of you guys for reading. I have some problems with my anxiety and sometimes I can't handle it well. I like to relieve pent up stress and tension by writing and you guys are all so wonderful with your comments and kudos that I wish I could give you all an individual hug. Thanks for being so great and helpful, keep on reading and I'll keep on writing.

“Tony, you’re okay. You’re safe, don’t worry. You’re surrounded by people who love you and will help you.” Natasha whispered. Tony curled up into his blanket as she leaned in and spoke softly in his ear to wake him up. He was panicking in his sleep when she found him passed out on the couch and was trying to be reassuring as she woke him gently.

He ignored the slight burn in his chest and the rapid beating of his heart as he pulled himself up off the couch and glanced nervously between the clock and the window. He had an hour before his next appointment. If he didn’t go he would be letting his anxiety win and Dr. Lafram told him to continue doing stuff even if he was afraid. 

He was starting to feel a little better, though. His overwhelming sense that something terrible was going to happen and everything was a threat had faded into a dull ache in his chest whenever he went out or had to do something he wasn’t used to. It also felt like a weight had been taken off of his back and he could move around easier. He didn’t feel like he needed to lay in bed all day anymore and he just felt lighter.

Tony walked quickly to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He didn’t bother trying to pat down his unruly hair and went straight back to his room to change out of his pajamas. He wore a long sleeve shirt to cover the shiny metal of his left arm and slipped on his jeans before walking back out into the living room. Natasha had folded up his blanket and Clint was standing by the kitchen eating a pudding cup.

“You okay? You usually don’t sleep on the couch?” Clint said, shoveling a large spoonful into his mouth.

“Yeah, I was napping.” Tony said, shrugging. Clint frowned as he finished his pudding and turned to throw it away.

“At ten in the morning?” He asked.

Tony nodded. He woke up early that morning from a nightmare. It was his usual bad dream with Howard, Stane, and Hammer just hurting him until he woke up while he couldn’t move or get away until he woke up cold and afraid. He didn’t want to be in his room anymore because it was too quiet and dark but he didn’t want to wake up Clint or Natasha so he just dragged a blanket and pillow out into the living room, turned on the tv, and laid there until he fell back to sleep.

They piled into the car and left. He watched silently as they passed many buildings and people. He slunk back in his seat as cars drove by honking through traffic. It was a relief when they finally walked into the waiting room of his therapist’s office. He went to his usual spot sitting on the floor by the magazine stand took a deep breath as his parents went to check in with the receptionist.

“How are you feeling?” Natasha asked when they came to sit by him.

“Fine. I’m fine.” Tony said. Clint frowned and Natasha gave a light hum but they didn’t say anything. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before they were called into the office. Tony took his seat on the couch and waited for someone else to speak first, desperately trying to calm the pounding in his heart. He took a deep breath as everyone sat down.

“So Tony, how was your weekend?” Dr. Lafram asked.

“Well, on Friday my mood did plummet a bit so my weekend wasn’t too great because it was all focused on trying to get me to feel better again.” Tony said quickly. He looked up at her and tried to make out her reaction. For a moment he thought she would be disappointed because he wasn’t progressing like he should. 

“That’s alright. Recovery isn’t a straight line, sometimes we take a step back but that doesn’t stop the overall progress. You are getting better.” She said, smiling slightly. “Can you explain to me how you felt and thought over the weekend?”

Tony nodded and looked down at his interlocking hands. It wasn’t that he still felt horrible, besides the general fear of being outside of the house and the tightness in his chest that he usually felt when he was anxious, he felt okay. He was just ashamed that he had gotten so low in the first place and let all the negativity flood his mind when he had been doing everything possible to get it out.

“I felt stupid and hopeless and like I was ruining everything for everyone. I just thought that everyone’s lives would be easier without me and it made me feel guilty for everything that was wrong. Phil talked me through it though, he assured me how important I am to everyone.” Tony said. Dr. Lafram nodded slowly and looked between Clint and Natasha.

“Tony, I need you to be honest with me. Can you do that?” She asked softly. He nodded and leaned back into the couch, reaching out for Nat’s hand. “Do you ever think about hurting yourself?” Tony blinked at the question, waiting for it to process before he shook his head.

“What? No.” He said, squeezing his mother’s hand. “I like being alive. It might not be fun most of the time but I don’t want to leave.” Clint let out a relieved sigh next to him and Dr. Lafram nodded and continued.

“Alright. If you ever do start considering it as an option I want you to tell someone immediately.” She said, a serious tone in her voice. Tony nodded. “How do you feel now?”

“Better than I did. I’m still nervous that something is coming but I think I’m more aware that something super terrible and bad is unlikely to happen.” He said. Tony pulled his hand from Natasha’s and rubbed his palms together lightly. “I feel okay right now. More okay than usual, besides the usual stress that comes from leaving the house. I don’t know, I just don’t feel as tied down. I don’t feel as tired either.” He shrugged.

Dr. Lafram seemed satisfied with the progress he was making, saying it was about time for the medications to start kicking in and that combined with all the exercises he had been doing he should start to feel more normal. The rest of the session was just Tony talking about his feelings, practicing techniques for him to do at home to help him continue to think more positive, and discuss moving on to exposure to try to get him to be able to sit in a chair again.

He didn’t want to start right away. Tony was sure it was too early for all of that. He was just starting to feel okay again after he plummeted for a few days and he still couldn’t stand being out of the house for very long and they wanted him to try to do the most stressful thing he could think of. 

“Before I send you home I want to see how comfortable you are with it already. You told me that your previous doctors had worked on it with you.” Dr. Lafram said, getting up from her chair. “Why don’t you come over and stand next to it.”

Tony walked over to the chair, looking down on it with disdain before looking back at Clint and Natasha. They were there, Tony knew that if he stayed close to them no one would be able to tie him down to anything.

“Are you comfortable with touching it?” She asked. Tony nodded as he reached out and put a hand on the chair’s smooth leather. “This is good. Can you lean weight onto it?”

Tony pulled his hand away quickly. He took a step back as his heart started beating faster. With a shake of the head he walked back to the couch and sat down between Clint and Natasha, clenching his fists to try to stop his shaking hands.

“It’s fine, Tony. You’re doing a lot better than I could have hoped.” She said, sitting back down. “Take a break for the rest of the day and relax. You’re doing wonderful.”

Tony was thankful to be done for the day. They went to Burger king and while they ordered he planned to go home and change back into his pajamas and watch tv for the rest of the day. He wasn’t sleepy, didn’t feel like taking another nap and sleeping all day, but he did feel exhausted. After being out and talking about everything he was ready to go home and pretend everything was alright.

Bucky was in the apartment when they made it back, sitting on the couch and watching The Price is Right with Dummy wheeling around happily in front of him. “I knocked first.” He said, not looking up as they came in. Tony smiled and sat down next to him. “So why did you sleep on the couch?”

“I didn’t. It was just a little nap.” Tony muttered.

“Well, your red blanket is on the couch and you guys left for your appointment around 10:30 this morning so you wouldn’t have had time for a nap so you either woke during the night upset and sat out here or just slept on the couch.” Bucky said, not taking his eyes off the tv. Tony frowned at him. Bucky talked everything as if it was okay even when Tony didn’t feel like anything he did was alright.

“Just shut up and watch your old person show.” He said. Bucky stuck his tongue out at him and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaay, I hope that was a good chapter. I'll be bringing in some interesting plot lines soon. *dun dun dun*  
> A lot of you guys have been asking if I would be going in this direction and I've always said maybe but guess what, I am. I won't say what it is but yeah.  
> Comment, and I'll spend more time writing instead of procrastinating on Tumblr.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took over a week! I've never taken a week to update before!!! Sorry, it's just been a crazy week what with the Age of Ultron trailer and Marvel dropping all those aou clips and movie titles on me. I'm overwhelmed with marvel. Also, all over Tumblr everyone wants Tony to be punched in the face. No. Protect Tony Stark 2k14.

“You actually went to the store? By yourself?” Tony asked, looking over at Bucky who had sat down by his window with a bag full of yarn and his crocheting needles.

“I’m not a child.” Bucky mumbled.

Tony frowned and turned back to his computer. He was both happy and bitter that Bucky was feeling more comfortable in the world. Tony was feeling a lot calmer, he could walk around the whole building feeling relatively normal and he didn’t mind visiting everyone on the team. He could even manage short trips outside if he had someone with him. Still, the thought of going anywhere crowded sent a small shiver up his spine.

“How did you do it? You usually just stay home or hang out here.” Tony said, scrolling through twitter. Everyone was getting very excited that he was finally tweeting them back and Clint should be happy because he finally got a few Kardashian followers.

“Well, Steve is refusing to go to the store for me now although he’s completely willing to go with me.” Bucky said, shrugging slightly as he focused on the small balls or yarn. “I told him there was no need and left. I’m pretty confident that if anyone attacked me I could take care of myself and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t ordered to kill that many people so I don’t think I’m that big of a danger. At least, I hope not.”

“Well, never know unless you try. Good job.” Tony said. Bucky smiled and nodded down at his hands as the needles twirled around the yarn he had picked out. Maybe that was what was helping him stay calm, a hobby.

He ignored the slight twinge in his chest, he wasn’t going to allow himself to be jealous over this. Bucky deserved to start feeling okay. He returned his attention back to the computer, comfortably aware of the other person in the room as he typed.

Tony had been emailing back and forth with Pepper. She kept giving him reminders to drink plenty of water and to eat three meals a day while he helped her with any homework questions she had. Also following her advice that he treat himself as much as possible he was busy filling up his Amazon shopping cart.

Tony liked Pepper. He never had to give an explanation for what he was doing or how he was feeling, never tried to get to the root of his problems. She just tried to offer suggestions to help him feel better. It wasn’t that he hated it when his parents asked him what was wrong or what happened every time he felt his mood dip down. Sometimes he couldn’t answer because he just felt terrible for no reason that he could understand. He just liked having normal conversations with people.

_You are amazing! Passing my Advanced Stats class because of you and your amazing tutoring. Also I got new bubble bath, smells like lavender. You should look into getting some. Remember to drink water and sleep 8-10 hours a day while also getting plenty of exercise and doing things you enjoy!!! If I hear from happy that you stayed up all night again because you figured out a way give you AI wireless control to household appliances then may God have mercy on your soul. XOX Pepper._

He smiled at the email before switching back to Amazon. He was ordering a Hulk phone case, a set of drink coasters shaped like Cap’s shield. He was also ordering several books, he was going to actually finish the Harry Potter series, Tony was never going to admit to Rhodey that he hadn’t read the whole thing, he was going to learn the last words of famous people because that’s just interesting, and he was going to restock his bookcase with advanced engineering textbooks.

“Where did your parents go?” Bucky asked, looking up from his expanse of purple yarn. “I didn’t see them when I came in.”

“Dad went out and mom went upstairs to see if Bruce would come over for dinner so they can trick him into cooking because they’re both feeling lazy.” Tony said, not looking away from the screen. “It’s probably some crazy trust thing because this is the first time they’ve left me alone in the apartment since…”

Bucky nodded and looked back down at his work. Tony had stopped talking, forgetting whatever he was going to say as a sharp burst of pain erupted from his chest. The light from the arc reactor shone through his light grey shirt and he placed his palm over it. It felt perfectly normal. When another wave of pain pulsed through his chest Tony shoved his laptop off of him and sat up.

 _Oh god, oh god. It’s the shrapnel._ Tony thought desperately. He jumped off of his bed and rushed out of his room.

He couldn’t breathe. Tony felt his lungs expanding but he didn’t think he was getting enough air. He pushed open the door to his parent’s room and sat down next to their bed, holding his chest tightly as he felt the heat from the fire and the loud explosions that were embedding the shrapnel deep in his chest.

“Tony?” Bucky asked from the doorway.

He shook his head quickly. Pulling one of his arms away from his chest, he ran his flesh hand through the carpet quickly and whispered to himself. He desperately tried to reassure himself that he was safe at home and it wasn’t happening again.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder, barely there but Tony jerked away from it anyway. He opened his eyes, hadn’t even realized he was squeezing them shut, and glanced over at Bucky. He was sitting several feet away from Tony, guarding the door and watching him closely.

Tony buried his head against his knees and pulled his arm tighter against his chest, whining at each wave of pain. This shouldn’t be happening. His chest hurt sometimes but it was usually just when he had a panic attach and his lungs felt tight and his heart beat too fast. None of that had happened. This came out of nowhere.

“What happened?” Natasha said, walking into the room. Tony glanced up at her and tapped a hand against his chest and continued to repeat to himself that it wasn’t happening. She walked up to him slowly and dropped to her knees. “Tony, you’re okay. You’re home, in our room, the walls are painted blue, it smells like lemons because that’s the smell of your favorite candles that you have all over the house, we can hear Dummy in the kitchen moving all the pots and pans around, you’re home.” She said quietly.

Tony nodded, tapping at his chest lightly. Natasha glanced over at Bucky, who just frowned. Tony kept up the steady drumming against the reactor and let out a few soft, desperate whines. Natasha kept naming off everything in the room to help ground him until he stopped muttering to himself.

“What’s wrong?” She asked quietly.

“It hurts. I don’t know, something’s wrong.” Tony muttered. His metal palm stretched out against his chest.

“I’m just going to check okay?” Natasha said. Tony nodded and moved his hand.

She reached out slowly to grab the hem of his shirt and waited for him to protest. When he didn’t she lifted up his shirt gently to look at the reactor. Tony watched her face closely. He noted the slight twitch in her eyebrows before her face took on its usual calm demeanor.

“What?” Tony said. He didn’t look down at his chest, just pushed her hand away and yanked his shirt down, replacing his hand protectively.

“Bucky, will you stay here until Clint gets back? Tell him we went to the hospital.” She said quickly, standing up and holding a hand out to Tony. He frowned up at her, feeling the pain still pulse slightly in his chest as he took her hand.

~~~

“It’s been slowly poisoning his blood.” The doctor said, looking closely at the files in his hand. “Has it been casing you pain before?”

Tony nodded as he looked down at his bare chest. The reactor had fused into the skin just fine, surrounded by thick, shiny scar tissue and a soft blue zigzag pattern. He hadn’t noticed it before, it was so light against his skin he couldn’t see it unless he was looking for it. The pain in his chest had stopped.

Looking back on the previous weeks, he had thought any twinges in his chest were just phantom pains from having the reactor put in and the tightness in his lungs and rapid heartbeat was just from anxiety. He thought that was the only reason for chest pain, not all of this.

“Palladium poisoning. I would recommend you take it out of your chest as soon as possible.” The doctor said, handing over papers for his release over to Natasha.

“Well, he can’t just take it out, can he?” Clint asked. The testing took a few hours so he had arrived just half an hour after Natasha dragged Tony to the hospital. “Isn’t it powering the electromagnet?”

“I guess if I take it out and extend the wiring so I can have it in a little travel case instead of actually in my chest. That should stop the Palladium from leaking into my bloodstream.” Tony said, tracing the faint blue lines with his finder.

“Okay, we’ll get you a fanny pack.” Clint said. Tony looked up quickly and groaned. “We still have to fix this.”

“We haven’t found a surgeon yet who’s skilled enough to remove the shrapnel. It’s in pretty deep and there are a lot of small pieces.” Natasha said, looking through the papers the doctor handed her.

“Nah, invasive surgery isn’t my thing. I just want to go home right now.” Tony said. He was exhausted. It had been a stressful day and he just wanted to eat whatever Bruce was cooking for dinner, he hoped it wasn’t all vegetables. “I’ll probably just have to find a different element. Brucie might help me.”

“If not?” Natasha said as she started to sign off for his release from the hospital.

Tony looked over to her as he pulled on his shirt. If he was going to fix it he would need a lab, not just a bunch of tools and a box of scraps. Help would be nice, people who knew what they were doing. He was still getting emails, job offers. They were even jobs where they would give him complete control, they just wanted something big.

“I could go to AIM. They’ve got labs and equipment and might just let me get work done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think of the Age of Ultron trailer? Hella right? We're getting a Captain Marvel and Black Panther movie!!!  
> To everyone who asked if I was going to do Palladium Poisoning and I said 'maybe'. Yeah.  
> Comment, I love them dearly. Did you miss me? I missed you!!!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, for your enjoyment. It's mostly a filler chapter but with feelings. We'll get to more good stuff next time.

“Absolutely not! Tony is never going back to that place and that’s my final word on the matter.” Clint said as soon as they walked through the door. “I mean, why are you even emailing them? They’re not good people and I don’t trust them.” 

Tony shrugged and continued walking down the hall. Bucky was still there, peeking his head out of Tony’s door, and he could hear Steve whistling in the kitchen and he grew much louder since they came in. He was signaling that he was there and trying to be loud enough to not overhear anything important. He was polite like that and Tony found it adorably annoying.

“I’m not the one emailing them, they’re emailing me because I’m amazing and they want to offer me a job.” Tony said. He didn’t want to talk about it in front of everyone and with Steve in the kitchen and Bucky at his usual spot in Tony’s room, he marched straight into his parent’s room. Natasha and Clint followed closely behind.

He closed the door and sat down on the bed, taking in the cool blue paint their walls were coated in and their scratchy rough carpet. Just a few hours ago Tony had memorized every little detail in the room to make sure it was real. He hated flashbacks, it was amazing how reality could be snatched away so quickly and everything terrible that ever happened just comes rushing back. He just wanted all the bad things to stay in the past where they happened and leave him to enjoy the present. Now he couldn’t because the horrible injury in his chest was trying to kill him again.

They just waited around the room quietly, looking at Tony expectantly as if at any moment he would say something. He didn’t know what to do, just that he had to fix this. He had to fix everything. The gears in Dummy’s arm were sticking and he had to fix that. He was in the process of taking all the broken pieces of his life and gluing them together until it was stable enough to stand on its own. Now his chest needed to be fixed again. 

“You have to talk to us, Tony. The last time you bottled everything up you broke down at Coney Island and started yelling at everyone.” Natasha said after several minutes of silence. Tony nodded.

“I’m fine. Really. It’s just I thought I was done with all of this.” He said, lightly tapping on the reactor. “It’s like Hammer and Stane are still trying to kill me a year after they died. I built this so I wouldn’t have to deal with almost dying that night and now it’s not working anymore.”

“To be fair, it was the best damn option available. What else were you going to do? Put in new batteries every week? That’s exhausting.” Clint said, smiling slightly. “Of course it wasn’t long term. There is a goddamn fusion reactor in your chest. We had to think of a way to fix it eventually and we just got off track.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Tony muttered.

“No. You’re not allowed to apologize.” Natasha said, sitting down next to him on the bed. “We just need to figure out how to fix it.”

“I probably just need to fix the problem causing the leakage into my blood and make sure the rest of the device isn’t damaged in any way. Find a new element so it won’t happen again. I just need a lab.” Tony said, looking between his parents. “We don’t really have access to labs anymore so I could just accept a temporary position at AIM, build them some cool new equipment, and while I’m at it I could just fix the reactor.”

“I don’t want you around those people.” Clint said. “That Killian guy, he’s completely insensitive. He knew how that thing would have affected you and he just dropped it on you anyway, no warning in the conversation. I think he was bitter because you kept turning down all his offers to come and give all your wonderful ideas to him so he decided to hurt you. I don’t want you around that.”

“I’ll be fine. Besides, I’ll be a kid in a high-tech research facility. I’ll be able to get you guys to come with me to make sure I’m okay.” Tony said. Clint frowned, giving Natasha a quick, pleading look as she sighed and waved him over to sit. He plopped down on the other side of Tony and hummed for a few seconds as he usually did when he thought about what he should say. It made Tony nervous, Clint always had something to say and was always filling the silence and if he couldn’t think of the words then it meant it was something important.

“I can’t go with you. I was very upset at how he sort of… verbally… attacked you. Sure he just brought up something from your past but it was something you weren’t ready to hear it or talk about it and having it sprung on you like that wasn’t good for you. And he did it in a rather aggressive way.” Clint said reassuringly. “So you and Tash went out to the car and I might have punched him in the face. A few times. And told him that the next time I saw him I would kick his ass. Do you know what a Restraining Order is?”

Tony tried his best to hold in his laughter. Clint looked so flustered and embarrassed that he didn’t even notice as he began going over the details over what a restraining order was and what it meant. He wanted to hug the poor guy, the only thing that stopped him was Natasha sliding her arm around his shoulders and clearing her throat to catch everyone’s attention.

“I think he knows what it means. He’s sixteen and lives with us.” Natasha said, smiling softly. “The good news is that since Clint’s no longer and agent of SHIELD he can’t get in trouble for attacking a civilian because he is technically a civilian as well.”

“But what about Howard? Didn’t you beat him up?” Tony asked. Clint perked up and elbowed him lightly in the side.

“Yes I did, don’t you worry about that. My actions were deemed appropriate for the circumstances.” He smiled, suddenly proud.

“Glad we got that settled. Relax, mom can still come with me. If she wants to anyway. If not I’m sure Brucie would love to get back into a lab again.” Tony said.

“Oh, I’m going with you. I suppose that means we’ll let you go fix your reactor but I’m going to be watching you like a hawk and if you’re not 100% comfortable there then we’re going home. At least for that day until you feel ready enough to go out. Understood?” She asked. Tony nodded.

They sat there quietly for a while. Tony was exhausted. If it wasn’t so early in the day he would have just gone off to his room and went straight to bed. That wouldn’t be allowed though so instead he hugged his parents and called Dummy over and started working on those sticky gears while Bucky stayed at his usual post by the window, beaming to see Tony returning.

He didn’t have to leave his room to know that Bruce had showed up to start cooking dinner, the house just started smelling like everything delicious in life was flowing out of the kitchen. He also didn’t have to leave to know that Thor, Jane, Sam, and Maria came over. It made sense, Steve and Bucky were already here so might as well have a team dinner night. He could hear Thor’s voice carrying in from the living room as he started telling his stories of Asgard and the time he and some woman named Sif fought off a band of space pirates while Jane and Maria just walked right on into his room and sat down on his bed. 

“I’ve been looking into the secret portals between worlds and I think I found one. Just outside of Trenton, New Jersey in the middle of a field. Nothing there except some electric discharges coming from what appears to be nowhere.” Jane said excitedly. Tony nodded, half paying attention as he watched Hill lean in to talk to Bucky, who had tensed up immediately. “It’s probably a rift in space. If we can find a way to manipulate the energy being given off we can use it to open the portal and go world hopping just like you wanted.”

“That sounds great. Bucky, want to go to another planet?” Tony called out. Bucky looked over quickly, frowning.

“What? No. Why would I do a stupid thing like that? This one’s just fine and the only nice alien we’ve ever met is Thor.” Bucky said. 

“He has a point.” Maria said, turning toward Tony. “If you guys bring to much attention to us we might get another invasion.”

Tony shrugged as he finished fixing his robot. Dummy wheeled around excitedly, moving up to Maria to say hello before rushing out the door. Everyone smiled slightly as it left.

“Instead of worrying about how scientific expansion and the exploration of our universe are going to be the death of us all why don’t we talk about something slightly less horrible. Like our feelings or Maria’s haircut.” Tony said, chuckling as Hill’s mouth fell open.

“I’m not afraid to kill you.” She said.

“You won’t kill him.” Bucky said quickly. “You like him.”

“Of course she likes me.” Tony muttered. “She’s my babysitter. She’s okay.” Bucky nodded and looked back at her.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “For almost killing you. I’ll try to not do it again.”

Tony felt his heart snap. Of course Bucky wasn’t entirely okay yet. He may have been going out and dealing with life but he still felt guilty for things that were beyond his control.

“No hard feelings. I’ve probably almost killed dozens of people.” Maria said. “Shot at Hawkeye a few times.”

“Do tell.” Tony said, changing the subject once he saw the relief etch itself onto Bucky’s face.

“Nah, it’s really your dad’s story. Let’s just go get dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not stupid. I know what you want from me.   
> Though feel free to tell me what you want or are expecting.  
> Comment, it let's me see into your soul and let's me manipulate you through writing.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter. It's 1am and I am finally putting it up because it has been a long and stressful day and hopefully when I wake up there will be lovely comments to make me feel better and happy. I love you guys, stay awesome and beautiful.

It wasn’t at all surprising when AIM accepted Tony’s conditions to the job, he would build things for the company but he was also allowed time and space to work on his own projects and his mother was allowed to be in the labs with him at all times. They were pretty excited to have him on board. Except for when they sent him a notice to remind him that Clint wasn’t allowed on the premises and he would be arrested should he show up at all. 

“Doesn’t matter. I got stuff to do anyway.” Clint said, shrugging his shoulders as they went through all the welcome pamphlets and newsletters for Tony’s new job. Apparently getting a position at a research facility meant he had to read a lot of rules, like don’t touch broken glass in the chemical departments or that no weapons were allowed in the facilities. Tony thought the first one was obvious and Natasha got a laugh out of the second one.

“What stuff? Trying to break the record for most pizza eaten in one sitting?” Tony asked, turning to face his dad. “You don’t have stuff. The most I’ve ever seen you do is go out to buy Christmas decorations by yourself. It hasn’t even been Halloween yet, by the way.”

“I’m getting into the festive spirit early and I bought spooky skeletons too. We’re also going to carve a bunch of pumpkins and I have about sixty bags of candy. We’re set for Halloween.” Clint said, smiling up at Natasha.

“The candy is for Trick or Treaters. You boys are not allowed to just sit around and eat it all.” She said, picking up the small pile of fliers off the coffee table and carrying it off to her room.

Tony turned on the tv and started watching cartoons. He figured he was too old for them at this point, sixteen and starting his first real job in the morning but he still found the colorful and childish shows charming and pleasant.

Clint seemed to like them too, not a single bit of annoyance or boredom flashed across his face when the shows started playing. Instead of complaining when Tony put them on he would just push himself deeper into the couch and watch them for hours. Tony loved it.

“What’s the date?” Clint asked.

“October 12th.” Natasha said as she walked back into the room and plopped down on Tony’s other side. She smiled at them, glanced at the cartoons quickly, and opened her book.

“Oh, it’s coming up. We should celebrate.” Clint said. “Tony, my beautiful boy, what do you want to do?”

“Dress up like an astronaut and pass out candy. Then when the trick or treaters stop coming maybe watch a few scary movies and pig out on the rest of the chocolate.” He said calmly. He had already made a list of Halloweenish movies he was looking forward to marathoning with his family.

“No, he meant for the 21st. It’s a big day for us.” Natasha said. She reached around Tony’s shoulders to grab Clint’s hand that was just hanging off the back of the couch. Tony frowned, confused. He couldn’t recall anything important on that day, except images of the dwarf planet Eris were first taken then in 2003. It was amazing. “It’s going to be one year since we officially adopted you and became your legal parents so you have to pick what we do.”

“Oh.” Tony said. “Man, you guys celebrate everything.”

“Wait until you see what we do on the anniversary of when we met.” Natasha said. “Last year, Maria came over to watch you for the night and then Clint and I drove to Canada. I won’t spoil all the details.”

“It was a good time.” Clint said. “Now pick what you want to do. This is your day with the family.”

“What if I have to work? I have a job now and everything.” Tony said, smiling back and forth at them. “I’ll think it over. We’ll definitely do something.”

Clint made him take his pills then and get ready for bed. Tony curled up in bed and piled his blankets over him. He could hear Dummy moving around in the corner by the outlet as it attempted to plug itself in and he could hear a light murmuring from the tv in the living room from his open door. The gentle, familiar sounds drifted through the background as he fell asleep.

~~~ 

Tony honestly didn’t know what he was expecting. People were trying to talk to him, coming too close, and he hated all of it. Getting a job was overrated and Tony almost shouted that at everyone and stormed out if not for the slight ache in his chest that reminded him why he was actually there.

Natasha did a great job at keeping people away. Tony knew she noticed his discomfort and glared at everyone who walked up to them. He would forever be grateful to her.

The area they gave him to work was amazing. It reminded him a bit of the lab Bruce had back at SHIELD with the white walls and endless amounts of parts and tools lying around as well as giant folders full of charts, forms, and fliers he had no intention to read. 

AIM hadn’t given him an assignment yet. They didn’t tell him what they wanted so he just decided to get right to work examining the reactor. He grabbed a large battery and gingerly lifted up his shirt to pull the reactor from his chest. Tony didn’t know how long he would need it to be out so he quickly attached the wires dangling slightly from his to the battery.

“Is it supposed to be smoking like that?” Natasha asked, pulling a chair up to the workbench.

Tony looked at the small block of smoldering Palladium in front of him. “It looks like neutron damage. That would explain how it’s getting into my blood.” He said, frowning. “I need to find a substitute element. This could take a while.”

“Do you know if any elements will make a good substitute for the reactor?” She asked calmly.

“I have no idea. I’ll have Jarvis run through the options.” Tony said, pulling out his phone. 

He had Jarvis completely uploaded into his phone and as long as he had a wireless connection, which he always did, Tony had his AI. He silently instructed Jarvis to begin running simulations on all the known elements and see which ones would work best in the reactor as a substitute.

“What if you can’t find a replacement?” Natasha asked. “We can start looking into surgeons ag-.”

“No, no one is cutting into me. We’ll find something.” Tony said loudly. “One of these elements has to work.”

“Why don’t you try something else?” Aldrich Killian said, walking into the room with a smile. Natasha was out of her chair quickly and stood between him and Tony. He smiled at her, patted her on the shoulder as he took a single step around her. “Don’t worry. I only came to apologize for my… well, rather brash behavior. We are certainly happy to have young Tony on board.”

“I need Palladium. Order a bunch of it.” Tony said, quickly putting the charred bit back into the reactor.

“Consider it done, my boy.” Killian said, taking another step closer. Natasha stepped between him again. “I already apologized. I’m not going to hurt him.”

“Of course you’re not. I’m in the room.” She said simply.

“I’m only here to offer him a position on a special research team I’m putting together. Most of it’s already done but do to his extraordinary work for Google and with those prosthetics I think I have a spot for him.” Killian said. He held out a folder carefully, still smiling softly at Natasha.

Tony took it from him quickly and opened it. Apparently a researcher named Maya Hansen developed a serum that could potentially grow back limbs. That… sounded amazing but it should be impossible. He glanced up quickly at Natasha and Killian, she was looking down at him curiously but he still had that wicked smile plastered on his face. Tony turned his attention back to the file, the science seemed sound. Testing wasn’t going well in the other facilities around the country but Dr. Hansen has reworked the formula and the science seemed pretty sound on that one.

“You want me to make you needles?” Tony asked. Although he was interested in the project, making syringes seemed like a mundane task.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that. We need large amounts of fluid to be injected into the bloodstream as quickly as possible.” Killian said. “Standard syringes aren’t sturdy enough. Can we count on you?”

Tony looked up at Natasha, she always knew what to do. Instead of just telling him yes or no she shrugged, letting him figure it out. It did seem like a project he wanted to be involved in and it sounded like it could help a lot of people.

“What’s it called?” Tony asked.

“Extremis.” Killian said.

“Alright. Send over the details.” Tony said. “I’m going home early.”

“Excellent.” He said, holding his hand out to Tony as he took the final step around Natasha. “We should have your Palladium in a few days and I’ll send you all the information you’ll need as soon as possible.”

Killian turned to leave. Tony turned back to his workbench and began unhooking the battery from his chest and put the reactor back in. Natasha sat back down in her seat and waited for him to finish.

“Can we have McDonalds for dinner?” He asked, putting the battery and wires away.

“No.” She said simply. “That’s worse than regular fast food. Also, I want to meet this Maya Hansen before you start making anything for her Extremis project. And you are not allowed to build anything to extravagant. Keep it professional.”

“I will, mom.” Tony said. “Besides, this sounds like a really useful project. If I can’t find a substitute for Palladium, maybe we could find someone to take out the shrapnel.”

“Tony, you know we can’t do that just yet. All the doctors say it can’t be removed without hurting you further.” She said, a firm tone setting over her voice.

“Yes, but Extremis gives its subjects a regenerative factor.” Tony shrugged. “Just something to think about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The return of Killian *gasp* *oh no*  
> Next chapter is going to be a mostly fun chapter because I have such a brilliant idea for it. You guys have no idea. Yeah. Bucky and Thor will be involved so there is that.  
> Comments make my heart go pitter-pat


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hella long chapter. Over 2500 words. I hope you're happy. I'm putting off my creative writing project for you guys. Because I love you.

“You’re leaving?” Tony asked, looking between his parents as they started packing their bags.

“Not leaving. We just have to go on a short little trip to get something. It’s important.” Clint said, folding up a shirt and putting it in his bag. He paused and frowned up at Tony. “I could have sworn we talked to you about this.”

“No no, you did. It’s just now you’re actually going. For a whole day.” He said. He had been expecting it all week when they said they had to run out and get a something from New York. Tony was okay with it, it was about time they spent some time by themselves even if it was just to drive out of state and back.

It wouldn’t be that bad. Thor and Bucky had come over to stay the night with him, although he insisted he was old enough to spend one night on his own, and Happy was dropping by later to stay too. He refused to utter the phrase ‘slumber party’ even though Clint had managed to get Thor to shout it every twenty minutes. 

Tony wasn’t stupid, he knew why they were here. Natasha insisted it was so he wouldn’t be lonely and she would end up coming home to another robot, not that he had drawn up the designs or anything. He knew it was because they were scared. The last time they went out of town and left him he was taken by HYDRA. Of course, this time they had Bucky and everything had been pretty safe for a while. They were still probably nervous though. They didn’t want him to be alone, just in case. Probably for every possible bad thing that could go wrong with him home alone. So they left him with a god and a supersoldier in an apartment building with the rest of the Avengers.

He hugged them tightly as they picked up their bag full of clothes for the night and whatever else they might need and listened closely to their whispered reassurances that they would be back tomorrow and that they loved him. Then they left.

He watched their car drive off from the living room window as Bucky sat on the couch watching Jeopardy with Thor shouting out the answers. Tony joined them after his parents left. Thor continued to answer all of the science questions while Bucky answered any history questions. Tony just sat next to them, laptop propped up on the coffee table and notebook resting on his knees.

“If you make a joke about me being old and actually living during the time all these events took place I will probably throw you in a lake.” Bucky said after muttering the answer to a civil war question. Tony shrugged.

“Relax grandpa, it’s not like I actually believe you would be alive to fight in the civil war.” He said, smiling slightly. “You probably fought for America since day one. How was gaining independence from the British?” Bucky sighed loudly while Thor gave a light chuckle. In the span of time it took Tony to blink, Bucky was standing and gently picking Tony up as if he was a small child.

“Where is the closest lake?” Bucky said loudly as Tony wiggled in his arms. He turned around quickly to go for the door.

“Happy!” Tony shouted, throwing his hands up. “Welcome to the party. Bucky is about to find a lake to throw me in, Thor is kicking ass at Jeopardy, and I’m pretending not to be sad that my parents are on a trip.”

“Where is the closest lake?” Bucky asked again. Happy just smiled.

“You could just try the reflecting pool out in the National Mall.” He said. Bucky nodded and started to carry Tony towards the door.

“What? No, you can’t! I’m working.” Tony said quickly. They paused for a second before Bucky started grumbling under his breath and put him down. Tony’s smile widened as he dragged Happy over to the couch. “You have to see what I’m working on. Sure, it’s just a syringe, technically. But the needle isn’t exposed at all until you press the button to inject it into the skin and you can set a scale to determine how much you want to inject and then it just pushes the needle out and pumps it in. Then the needle retracts back into the device. Later you hit release switch and it deposits the needle in a safe, not at all pointy container. It’s also easy to clean, I’ll show you how to do that.” He pulled up the blueprints on his laptop and leaned over to show Happy.

“Slow down. Gosh, you always get so excited when you’re working on a project. It’s just like in high school and you made it so that my phone can charge when the screen is exposed to direct sunlight. That was cool, you should mass produce that.” He said, looking over at the computer Tony held out to him. “What’s it for?”

“Well, all week I’ve been working on it. A scientist is working on a serum with regenerative properties and came to the facility here in DC to test it since she rewrote the formula and she needs a new way of injecting it.” Tony said. “I’m not an expert on chemistry or all of that but it looks pretty sweet. The math is right.”

Happy nodded. He looked over at Thor, who had turned off the television to listen to Tony’s rant about his project. Bucky was in the kitchen making muffled cursing noises as the sounds of pans and plates banging together drifted through the apartment.

“So, slumber party?” Happy asked.

“Aye, a slumber party! I am most pleased to be spending these hours with you, my comrades. We will all most certainly bond.” Thor said. 

Tony closed his laptop and carried it and his notebook off to his room. If he was going to spend the night bonding with his friends he wasn’t going to be working, no matter how much fun it was for him. Instead he grabbed the Wii from under his bed, they brought it when they moved and Tony just never unpacked it to set it up, and brought dragged it out into the living room.

He and Happy hooked it up to the tv and they all started playing Mario Kart. Tony was a bit surprised when Thor started winning with Bucky in a close second. They had assumed that being the ones growing up in 21st century Earth they would have a better grasp of video games but Thor didn’t even blink at the technology. He wasn’t even going to question how Bucky was coming in second.

“Hand-eye coordination. If we wanted to win we should have played the Sims.” Happy whispered. Tony nodded, accepting the fact that he was losing. “So why did they need to go to New York?” 

“I don’t know. They said they had to pick up a surprise.” Tony shrugged. “I hope it’s a llama. Or a sandwich from the diner we used to always go to.”

“Rudy’s. That place was great.” Happy said. He frowned for a second after getting hit by a blue shell from Thor, who he says is named after a noble and ancient King. “You ever feel like going back to New York?”

“If we were getting Rudy’s yeah, they had the best cheeseburgers I have ever had. Better than Burger King. Other than that no, it’s too loud. Plus there are people everywhere, gross. I don’t know, I guess I just need my family to feel at home. New York isn’t a big deal.” Tony said, not looking away from the tv. “I was promised a trip to Canada.”

Happy nodded. He didn’t see anything, just rubbed at the back of his neck and continued to frown at the tv as they all tried to pick another race.

“Were you all in New York during the battle?” Thor asked. “I am certainly pleased that you were all unscathed.”

“What? The battle with all the aliens?” Bucky asked. “Didn’t that happen about a week after Steve was unfrozen? I bet that was disorienting.”

“Yeah, wake up 70 years in the future and then fight aliens. And yeah, we were in New York. We just weren’t in Manhattan.” Happy said. “We were perfectly safe.”

“It was awesome. We sat out on Rhodey’s roof to look at the giant beam of light shooting up into the sky and we could see aliens flying around.” Tony said. “Why are we talking about New York?”

“Because we grew up there, your parents are visiting, and let’s not forget the fucking aliens.” Happy said. “I like talking about New York. It’s home. I miss it sometimes.”

“Eh, I’m okay as long as I’m with all of you guys.” Tony said.

Bucky’s phone chirped and he stood and walked out the door, leaving his car in the game just sitting in the middle of the track. Tony wasn’t going to ask because finally he was out of last place. When he came back he was holding a large pot and smiled at everyone.

“So, I tried to make dinner earlier but I realized I can’t cook so I called Steve and he made Potato Soup.” Bucky said, carrying the pan into the kitchen.

“Gross, that sounds like it has a lot of vegetables in it.” Tony muttered. “Like, a lot of them.”

“Carrots, celery, onion, and potato.” Bucky called out from the kitchen. He walked into the living room and held out a small bowl. Tony just frowned at it. “You have to eat it. There is also chunks of bacon in it. It’s my favorite, I can’t believe he actually made it.”

Tony’s frown turned into a light smirk then as he reached for the bowl. He took a small, experimental bite, and nodded. 

“So you just ask Steve for soup and he makes it for you?” Tony asked as Happy and Thor went for the kitchen. Bucky nodded as he sat down next to him with his own bowl in hand. “That was nice of him.”

“Yeah, Steve is always nice.” Bucky said.

“What? Captain America? Of course that guy is nice. He saved the world about a million times.” Happy said as he came back in with Thor. They both shoveled large spoonfuls of soup into their mouths with approving nods.

“He has led us into many battles. I am impressed with his leadership.” Thor said.

“And he totally took care of me when I first started living with all these guys.” Tony added.

“Yeah, I know he’s a good guy.” Bucky said. “He’s been letting me live with him for months, even after I tried to kill him. He makes sure I have everything I need, he lets me stay in his room if I have a bad dream, and he is constantly telling me how good I’m doing and that I’m safe. I know he’s great.”

“He’s totally into you.” Tony said. It was so obvious, Bucky was getting misty-eyed just talking about him. If Bucky came over to just sit with Tony like he usually did and he was here for more than five hours, Steve would surely turn up to hang out too. They were pining, it was making him sick. “You should ask him out.”

Bucky stopped eating, stopped looking at all of them and just stared at the wall for a second. He opened his mouth as if to say something only to leave it hanging open for a few seconds. He was definitely thinking.

“If our friend is going to court the Captain I would suggest a movie. Jane took me to see the Boxtrolls not too long ago and it was stunning.” Thor said. He smiled at everyone as his hand moved slightly for Mjolnir, which was sitting on the floor next to the couch. “Nothing like the trolls of which I am accustomed. I have tales to tell of them, but for another time.”

“You think he’s into me?” Bucky asked, glancing over at Tony. He nodded quickly.

Bucky set down his bowl and stood. He didn’t say anything as he gave Tony a quick pat on the back and walked out the door. Tony hoped he was off to make his move and not just avoiding the conversation. Bucky seemed like a man that gets stuff done so who knows. They heard the almost silent footsteps walk down the hall towards Steve’s apartment.

“You think he’ll come back?” Happy asked.

“God, I hope not. They need to just get together. I hate them making doe-eyes at each other whenever we have them over for dinner.” Tony said. “I watch tv, this isn’t turning into some love book turn movie where they love each other but won’t say anything and then just stare at each other longingly. I won’t put up with it.”

They started watching tv. The history channel had almost completely become some jumble of shows about alien conspiracy theories. How did Captain America survive being frozen in ice? Aliens. How was the Great Wall built? Aliens. Tony’s personal favorite, Who is Thor, the so called Prince of Asgard? Alien.

Other than that, the channel just showed reality shows about pretty much anything. Thor loved them and he had the remote. They had been watching some show about people living in a swamp for several hours. Happy fell asleep right on the couch, head resting Tony’s shoulder, while Tony had his computer sitting on his lap as he continued working. Bucky didn’t come back.

Tony hadn’t noticed just how much time had actually passed until he looked up as a hand dropped to his shoulder and Thor was holding out a small pill. Tony looked down at it, frowning. Clint was supposed to give it to him. He always gave it to him. That meant it was okay. Not that Tony didn’t trust Thor, Tony would trust Thor with everything. The guy was a gentle giant. Tony just couldn’t put his finger on it, Clint giving it to him meant safe.

“Bedtime already?” Tony asked.

“Tony, you must take it.” Thor said quietly. “Your father has informed me that it is dangerous for you to stop.”

Tony nodded. “He did? Yeah, of course he did. He knows about that stuff. He cares too much.” He said, reaching out slowly and taking the pill. He looked at it closely. It still looked like the ones Clint gave him. “Clint told you to give it to me?”

“Aye.” Thor said slowly. Tony sighed, giving it one last glance before popping it into his mouth. “Tomorrow your family will return. Rest.”

Happy just fell onto the couch as Tony stood and walked to his room, didn’t even wake up. Tony changed quickly into a pair of sweatpants before climbing into bed. He wasn’t tired. The tv clicked off in the living room and Tony knew Thor was probably going to sleep too. He just closed his eyes and waited until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Stucky. Also, what is Clint and Natasha bring back from New York? I know and I'm happy about it, hopefully you guys will be too.  
> Comment, just because you love me.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this up faster than expected and it turned out rather long. Longer than most of my chapters but consider it a treat. Because I love you.

Tony buried his head in the pillows as the curtains opened to let the sunlight pour in and there was a slight shift of weight in his bed. He didn’t mind, Thor liked the sun and Lucky liked to sit next to him. His mind was hazy and just inhaled deeply as he pulled his covers up over his face.

There was a slight poking at his side, annoying and persistent. It didn’t stop when he waved his hand down to swipe whatever it was away. Instead, a strong hand grabbed ahold of him and continued poking at his ribs, finding all of his most ticklish spots.

“Stop.” Tony moaned. It was too early. He didn’t care what time it was, it will always be too early if he was this tired.

“Wake up sleeping beauty. I did not drive all night with your parents just so you can sleep all day.” Tony’s eyes snapped open and he lifted his head slowly. “That’s right idiot. I’m on vacation.”

“You know, Rhodey, I’m certainly happy to see you but I’m exhausted and will murder you. Don’t think I won’t.” Tony said, sitting up slowly and pulling him into a hug. “It’s good to see you. You should have told me you were coming.”

“I know, it was a surprise. I flew home to see my mom for a few days and I also wanted to see the extended super family but I can’t afford two plane tickets so they came to get me. Let’s get breakfast.” Rhodey said, standing quickly. He held out his hand and smiled as Tony just groaned and fell back into his pillows. “I figured you would be more enthusiastic.”

“I’m too tired for extreme emotions.” Tony muttered.

“It’s ten in the morning.” He said, laughing slightly.

Tony rubbed his eyes, rolling over until he was on the edge of the bed. He smiled at the hand that pressed itself to his back to stop him from completely falling off the side and then just slipped his feet gently onto the floor. He sat up slowly and walked towards the door.

“Are you not gonna ask?” Tony said quietly, looking back as Rhodey followed closely behind him.

Rhodey looked up, confused and just shrugged. Tony sighed and waved his arm out, the metal one that still shined like it was brand new. His eyes lingered on it, the edge of his mouth tipping down as his gaze wandered up to where the metal fused to the skin just above the elbow joint. 

“It was all over the news for a little while so I figured you would already know.” Tony said, looking down at it. “It is a bit weird in person, though. Bucky’s arm looks cooler but mines more advanced. Put some cool stuff in it that’s turned off at the moment.”

“Yeah, Bucky. Bucky Barnes.” Rhodey nodded. “Can’t wait to meet him, I can’t believe this is happening. Wait, did you weaponize it?” He stopped so that they were still in the hallway, lowering his voice as he glanced quickly at everyone gathering around the kitchen.

“It’s not activated, not even deadly. See this part?” Tony turned his palm face up, tracing large circle taking up the center. “When I stop… you know, freaking out about everything, I’ll activate it and it’ll be able to emit a nonlethal ray of energy to shoot people or things away from me. Completely harmless.”

Rhodey didn’t look amused, his frown deepened as he looked down at the indent in the palm. “You should put these in a pair of boots and fly around.” He said quietly, nodding.

Tony couldn’t help but smile. “Rhodey, I love you, you’re my best friend, and that is the greatest idea I’ve ever heard. I’m making everyone rocket boots for Christmas.”

“Hey, does it hurt?” Rhodey asked, still frowning down at his arm. He reached out to touch it gently, fingers barely ghosting over the metal. He stopped just below the seam, not daring to touch where it attached to the skin. “Did it hurt? I mean, you know you’re like my baby brother right? I almost ditched the whole air force to come check on you when that whole thing hit the news. I just woke up one day and all of you guys were all over the tv and everyone was talking about you and how you were in the hospital.”

Tony grabbed Rhodey by the shoulders and steered him back into the bedroom. He just took it as an opportunity to pull Tony into a hug, one of those tight ones that squeezed the breath out of him and seemed to go on for so long that he would start to think they were never going to let go. They happened a lot.

“You gonna calm down? I’m the one who gets upset easily.” Tony said, patting Rhodey’s back lightly.

“When are you going to stop getting yourself into trouble? I swear, I turn around and you’re hurt. I might as well just come and fight off the hordes of time traveling space zombies to keep you safe because it turns out if something can go wrong it will.” Rhodey whispered.

“First off, I’m perfectly safe most of the time. HYDRA didn’t even mess up my arm, I did. Yanked on some handcuffs for a few hours, probably scratched it up and made it worse crawling through some air vents, and then took a little nap under a bench in the rain.” Tony said.

“What?”

“Not important, I’m just an idiot.” Tony said, shaking his head.

“No, wait. You escaping a kidnapping and take a nap-.” Rhodey sounded confused and desperate. Tony sighed, he was making things worse instead of better.

“Yeah, of course I took a nap. Putting up with a bunch of psychotic science Nazis all day is exhausting and then there was a world renowned American icon turning out to be alive. It was a wild day.” Tony said quickly. Rhodey whined softly so Tony rushed to continue. “Anyway, all in the past. The point is I’m okay. I’m fine now. It didn’t even hurt when they took it off because they hopped me up on so many painkillers I couldn’t even recite the hundred digits in pi. Sure, it was a bummer because now I don’t have that sweet scar left over from where it was broken and surgically reset so many times. It doesn’t hurt now, it’s just there. Just take a deep breath okay because we’ve been hugging for about five minutes and if it goes on for very much longer people are going to talk.”

Rhodey gave a small huff, sounding frustrated, amused, and relieved all at the same time. He gave Tony another quick squeeze before pulling back and smiling.

“I’m too attractive to be caught with you.” Rhodey said half-heartedly. “The next time you get kidnapped, I get a call. Now let’s go get breakfast.”

Tony barely had time to nod before he was forced to follow Rhodey out into the kitchen. Clint and Natasha were back, apparently had driven all night just to bring him his best friend for a visit. He felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and love. When he saw Clint just napping on the couch his first instinct was to wake him up, if Tony couldn’t sleep neither could he, and give him the best hug he could manage but he did stay up all night and Tony was immensely grateful. Still, he had no idea how Clint could fall asleep just sitting up like he did.

Instead he just left him to continue sleeping because he could always be gross and affectionate at a more decent hour. Ten in the morning is too early regardless of what anyone says. Natasha was in the kitchen, standing at the stove and handing plates over to Happy and Thor. 

“I made egg in the basket.” Natasha said, smiling up at him when he entered.

“White bread?” Tony asked. He looked expectantly at Happy, who was sitting up on the counter with his feet dangling above the ground and a mouth full of food.

“Nah, wheat. One day you’ll get over you phobia of all things good for you.” He said.

Tony shook his head as he took the plate his mother held out to him. She didn’t look tired, looked as normal and put together as she always did. He held his plate in one hand as he pulled her close with a hug and a light whisper of ‘thank you’. Natasha smiled, nodding as she turned back to the stove.

He walked back into the living room, sitting down next to the snoring Clint and poked at the two pieces of toasted bread with the cooked eggs in their center with his fork. It was a good breakfast, he loved it.   
Happy and Rhodey joined him after a few minutes, turning on the tv and sitting beside him and Clint as they tried not to wake the man up. 

Bucky walked in, didn’t even knock. He walked right in and glanced at the tv and smiled down at everyone. Tony smiled back.

“How did it go?” He asked slowly.

“How did what go?” Bucky said, smile widening.

“You did, you sly dog. You made your move.” Tony said. Happy laughed.

“What did he do?” Rhodey looked around, confused.

“Made me proud.” Tony said quickly. “Sit down and tell me almost everything. I don’t need to hear all the gross stuff.”

Bucky nodded, walking up and sitting down on the ground next to the couch. He glanced over quickly at Clint, still sleeping and hadn’t moved a muscle since any of them entered. Tony would be worried if not for the steady rise and fall of his chest and the soft and annoying sound of his snoring.

“Okay, I thought about what you said and you were right. He did seem to really like me. So I just went over there and I kissed him.” Bucky said, nodding.

Tony almost knocked his plate off of his lap. He put it down on the coffee table and raised his arms up high in a sign of success and happiness and reached over to pat Bucky on the back.

“Oh, god. You kissed him. What happened?” Tony said quickly. “He loved it, didn’t he? I bet then he did something all sweet and romantic like all old-fashioned ninety year olds.”

“Well, I was a bit surprised because he almost immediately started kissing me back.” Bucky said, looking down at his hands with a dorky grin. Tony was happy for him, he was almost tempted to run down the hall to give Steve a clap on the back.

“Wait, you kissed an old man?” Rhodey asked, putting his hands up quickly. “Who are we talking about? Just so I’m caught up.”

“Steve, you beautiful idiot. We’re setting up a dating site for elderly superheroes and we think Bucky and Steve are perfect together.” Tony said.

“You kissed Captain America?” Rhodey smiled as Bucky nodded. “Okay, go on.”

“Then we sat down and talked.” Bucky said. He laughed as Tony just groaned. “Really. That’s all. He wanted to know what I was thinking, what I wanted, and if I remembered anything about us from before. Wanted to know where we were starting at.”

“That’s disgustingly sweet. Wait, you guys were a thing before.” Tony said.

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. I remember it mostly. We grew up together and just sometime around our early teens we just became… you know. A thing. Then I think we stopped as we got a little older. I don’t think it was because we didn’t like us, I remember always loving him and he was always there. Steve said after a while we just figured out what the rest of the world thought about everything and we decided we could still love each other but not in a way that would make us go to prison. Apparently it was illegal back in our day. So we moved on, still were very close and then there was Peggy and he loved her so much. But now we’re here and I guess we can be us and that’s okay.”

“Wow, man. That’s beautiful. You’re breaking my damn heart.” Tony said. “If you guys don’t get married I’m going to strangle you both.”

“I’ll pass along the message.” Bucky stood, pulling Tony into a tight hug. “Just wanted to apologize for running out on you.”

“Never feel bad when it’s true love.” Tony said. He waved as Bucky walked out and smiled up over to the cartoons playing. Rhodey was staring at him. Happy was just watching tv too.

No one said anything. Rhodey just seemed to be in awe and Tony was just happy they were finally together. Things were finally moving on as they should. For a while everything seemed to be at a standstill, he didn’t think he was making any progress at all, now he was leaving the house regularly and actually feeling pretty normal, not sad at lease. He wasn’t even that afraid anymore. 

Everyone else didn’t seem to do anything for a while, insisting they wanted and deserved a break and Tony blamed himself for a while but now he could see them doing better too. Clint and Natasha were less worn out, not stretched as thin between frequent mission and taking care of him. Jane and Thor had spent more time together in the past few months than they had in the previous years they’ve known each other. And Bucky was doing significantly better and Steve was happy.

“That was Bucky Barnes. He was a Howling Commando, one of the greatest snipers in human history. How are you so chill about this?” Rhodey said, breaking the silence after a few short minutes.

“Well, he kidnapped me when we met so I became used to him pretty quick.” Tony shrugged.

“And I’ve been hanging out with these guys for a while.” Happy said. “And don’t you dare say anything. You got to meet all of the Avengers last year when they took our poor little Tony in and I was kept in the dark. Maybe I wanted to meet some superheroes who were taking care of my bro in their super cool secret base and not at the hospital where he was recovering from his kidnapping from fucking HYDRA.”

Tony reached over and squeezed Happy’s shoulder until he calmed down. He’ll never understand how he ended up with such overprotective friends. It must be his adorable face.

“Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, Tony didn’t tell me either.” Rhodey said. “They all just showed up at my door demanding to know where their kid was because he disappeared. I didn’t get to meet them on happy terms either.”

“Gosh, Tony. Maybe you should introduce us to your friends more often.” Natasha said, walking in and shaking Clint awake.

His eyes snapped open and immediately scanned the room, eyes darting to the window, door, and everyone in the room. Finally he glanced over at Tony and smiled. “Hey, buddy. Did you like your present?”

Tony nodded and gave him a quick hug before Natasha started herding him off to the bedroom. They were both exhausted and they deserved to rest. Thor walked out and sat down next to them, greeted them, and immediately became engulfed in the cartoons.

“How long are you staying?” Tony asked, whatever they were discussing moments ago forgotten.

“The whole weekend.” Rhodey said.

“Thank you for coming. I have so much to tell you.” Tony said quickly. “I’m working in this lab two days a week to build things for a bunch of people and it seems really cool and helpful. I also have to work on fixing the reactor while I’m at it because it’s acting up, shouldn’t be too big of a problem because there are an infinite number of things I can do to fix it. I’m also doing great in my therapy, I go twice a day and I actually attend the whole hour now. Go me. I’m also working with Jane to build a machine that can manipulate the energy around the interplanetary portals so we can develop space travel. They seem to work a bit like worm holes, you just have to know where to find them and how to manipulate them.”

“Just like old times.” Happy muttered.

“Yeah, good to know he still doesn’t know how to shut up.” Rhodey said, holding in a laugh at Tony’s frustrated sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to give you a happy chapter for no reason other than the fact that I want to bring you joy. I hope you appreciate it. Also, more surprise Stucky.  
> Feel free to make me happy in return.  
> Comments, they make me happy.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god. I would like to apologize for how long this took. I really tried to get it up faster. I wish I could blame it on finals coming up but really I just haven't been writing. I've been feeling a bit weird lately and I haven't been able to work on anything. I have not and never will give up on writing these things, it just got a little hard to get myself to work for a little while. For any of my readers in my other story, chapter is almost done and will be up shortly.

Tony squeezed tightly, burying his head into the man’s shoulder as they stood by the car. It was comfortable. The weekend had gone too quickly and although he had felt more calm and peaceful than he had in a long while he would give almost anything for time.

“See you around, Rhodey. Take care of yourself.” Tony whispered.

“You too, buddy. Remember, I demand to be emailed frequently.” He said. Tony gave another quick hug before pulling back. “Also, the next time something serious happens I want you to call me immediately.”

Tony nodded. He was getting behind on calling everyone and Rhodey had a habit of worrying too much. He figured Happy would keep him updated, let him know everyone was alive. Still, it would be nice to talk to him every once in a while. There are a lot of people he should call and a lot of things he should do.

He waved as the car drove away, Clint taking Rhodey to the airport. Happy hadn’t gone home yet, Tony was starting to think he was just going to move in. Instead of going back to his apartment or to work or school or whatever he did when Tony wasn’t around, he was in the kitchen making omelets and looking pretty much at home and like he owned the place. Tony figured that if he asked him to leave at this point Happy would just laugh at him.

They were all just sitting around, watching cartoons and eating breakfast by the time Clint got back. Tony smiled up at him quickly before turning back to the tv.

“So, Happy. Do you need me to drive you home?” Clint asked, picking eggs off of Tony’s plate.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy. I’m comfortable.” Happy muttered. He shoveled a forkful of his omelet into his mouth and grinned. They both glanced over to Tony quickly.

He shrugged. “I don’t care, he can stay as long as he wants. It’s Monday though so if he wants to tag along to see my lab at AIM he can.”

“Yeah, I can do that. This will be the weekend slumber party that doesn’t end.” Happy said quickly. “Plus, I promised Rhodes I’d look out for you since you’re an idiot. I have to make sure you’re not working for sociopaths or those corporate businessman who steal ideas from genius children to support their own evil political agenda and take over the world.”

“Does that even happen?” Tony asked.

“Oh.” Natasha snorted, nodding quickly. “Yes, it does. More often than you would think.”

Tony frowned and looked down at his plate. If it happened a lot then eventually one of those ‘evil corporate businessmen’ might actually end up taking over the world. Then what would they all do? The Avengers would have to get together again and save everyone and everything. That would be good, everyone working again. But then they would be gone again. He was getting used to everyone being around.

All of a sudden, he didn’t feel hungry anymore. He just cut up his omelet and stirred the eggs around on his plate. If they started dealing with world problems against things would get done faster than if they continued to leave things to the military. Someone release killer robots in Seattle a month earlier and they had it handled over there in about a week. The Avengers could have probably handled that in a day. What if he needed them? They would be off saving the world for days at a time.

“Stop it.” Happy muttered. Tony looked up from his plate, frowning.

“Stop what? What am I doing?” He asked.

“You’re thinking.” Natasha said. “You do that too much.”

“Of course I do, I’m a genius. I tested out of High School when I was 14.” Tony said. Clint nodded, perching on the edge of the couch.

“Of course you are, sweetheart. You’re the smartest little bow in the world.” Clint said mockingly. “Could get into any college he wants to.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Both of you stop it. We have to leave in an hour so why don’t you boys go get dressed.” Natasha said

Happy grabbed his dufflebag and wandered into the bathroom to change while Tony went to his room. He just had to go to AIM to drop off the designs for the syringes, meet Dr. Hansen, and pickup his order of palladium.

They all met down at the car, dressed and ready with Hawkeye waving from the door. Tony explained quickly to Happy all about AIM, why Clint wasn’t coming, and what he was supposed to be doing there as they climbed into the back seat.

“So, you’re dying again!?” Happy asked loudly. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why didn’t you tell Rhodey!? He’s going to fly back immediately and kill you himself.”

“Relax. I’m not _dying_.” Tony said, waving his hands around as he tried to think of how to best explain it. Sure he wasn’t dying exactly. He was just being poisoned slowly by the only thing that was stopping his heart from being shredded to pieces by hunks of shrapnel embedded in his chest. “I am just getting a tad bit of blood… contamination? No, that makes it sound worse than it is. Debase, that’s the word I’m going with. Damaged palladium is leaking into my blood and debasing it so I have to replace it with fresh palladium. However, it’ll just get damaged again due to neutron firing from the reactor wall so I either have to find a different element, which Jarvis ran the simulations for and hasn’t found one, or find a surgeon to get all the shrapnel out without killing me entirely.”

Happy stared at him in horror as Natasha pulled up in front of the AIM facility. No one moved. Tony shrugged to lighten the mood.

“Oh my god, Tony.” Happy muttered. Tony threw up his hands and scrambled out the door.

“Nope, no talking. I am very much alive and intend to stay that way.” He said quickly, dragging Happy after him. Natasha followed just a few steps behind, an amused smile brushed across her face. “Let’s talk about pleasant things, like where I work. Science.”

They walked through the halls quickly. Tony smiled at the people who greeted him as they passed and glanced behind him frequently to makes sure Happy and Natasha were still following. They weren’t far, matching his steady steps as he rushed to the office number he was looking for.

Dr. Maya Hansen had an office on the third floor and a lab in the basement. Not ideal for going back and forth but Tony guessed the view was good upstairs and she didn’t have to worry about being quiet downstairs. He didn’t have to knock long before it opened and a smiling woman greeted him.

“Hey, you must be Tony. Glad you’re here, I’m Dr. Hansen.” She waved them into the room. It was brightly lit, large windows allowing in the natural light. Tony didn’t have an office, besides the little time he spent in the lab assigned to him he was hardly in the building at all. “You can call me Maya.”

“I finished designing the syringes you wanted. I just came to drop off a copy of the plans before I started working on a prototype.” Tony said, taking a small folder from Natasha’s hands.

“Perfect.” Maya said, taking the folder and nodded. “I really appreciate this. I’ve been reworking the serum since it failed last time and due to its possible effects we need to get it into the body faster.”

“Oh, how long have you been working with AIM?” Natasha asked. Tony heard it, a slight change in her normal tone. She was trying to sound relaxed and open, easy to talk to. It should be strange how he could tell when she was switching into her interrogation techniques but after living with them for so long he must be used to it.

“Probably too long. I just transferred here to DC though.” She said. Maya dropped the folder onto her desk. “So far I’ve worked in Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago, and Seattle. All the cities were beautiful but my work wasn’t succeeding there. I’m sure I have it worked out this time though.”

“This time?” Happy asked.

“Previous trials were unsuccessful.” Maya said quickly. “The volunteers had unexpected side effects. Anyway, thank you so much for finishing these and stopping by. I can’t wait to see the finished product so we can all move forward with the project.”

Tony nodded as they were quickly herded towards the door. The door closed quickly and the three of them were alone in the hallway.

“Well, that wasn’t suspicious at all.” Happy said.

“She’s a researcher. Probably isn’t too thrilled when her experiments fail.” Tony said, shrugging. “I know I hate it when I build an engine wrong, takes forever to fix it.”

Natasha remained silent as they made their way downstairs and through the halls towards Tony’s lab and the two boys talked quickly about leaving early and getting pizza. Inside the room a package sat on the closest table. It was taped tightly and she pulled a small knife from her pocket to open it.

Inside was a case containing many small bars of palladium, the exact size Tony ordered. He pulled out one of the bars and reached a hand up his shirt to grab the reactor. With a soft click and a mutter of protest from Happy it came free from the casing in his chest.

“I modified it while we were here last Wednesday. No more long dangling wires, just pops right out and slides back in.” Tony said, holding the glowing blue device inches in front of his face.

The smoldering chunk of Palladium slid out of the center and he tossed it aside, replacing it with a shiny new piece. As quickly as he took it out, Tony shoved it back into his chest. Happy grabbed the case full of the remaining bars.

“So, that gonna stop you from dying?” He asked.

“I’m not dying. It’s just buying me time until I find a different element.” Tony said. “Let’s go. Whatever work I need to get done I can do at home, I have tools and material.”

“You also have to think of something you want to do for tomorrow.” Natasha said, following as Tony started to leave. He turned off all the lights and relocked the door. Happy followed, still carrying the care of palladium for Tony to use later.

“What for?” Tony asked.

“The one year anniversary of your adoption, kiddo.” Natasha said. She smiled warmly as Tony looked over at her. “I just can’t believe you’re already a year old. I suggest we take you to Chuck E. Cheese but Clint said we should let you pick.”

Tony nodded, sighing at her suggestions. “Happy, are you sticking around?”

“You guys can have your day. I’ll probably just watch tv.” He said lightly. They walked out to the car and put the case in the trunk.

“Are you just moving in?” Tony asked. “If so I’m sure we could get you a bed or something.”

“Not moving in exactly. I’m just looking out for my friend who apparently is more at risk for dying than a character played by Sean Bean.” Happy said.

“I’m not. I’m not dying.” Tony said, shaking his head with a sigh. “I’m fine. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. Regardless, I think I know what I want to do tomorrow. It’ll be fun for the whole family and they promised it to me anyway.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow into the rearview mirror. Tony just smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, thank you. Next chapter will be kinda nice. The chapter after that not so much. We're almost there.  
> Comment, because I'm back and I like comments! :D


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I am trash. It's been over two weeks. Finals, fic writing, and an inability to motivate myself to do anything at all doesn't mix. I love you all though, thank you for patience, and here is the next chapter.

“You’ve been making significant improvement over the past few weeks.” Dr. Lafram said, smiling at him.

Tony nodded. Over the past few months he had been attending therapy, after everything with SHIELD and HYDRA, he was doing okay. Weeks ago who couldn’t find the energy or motivation to climb out of bed. Back then he couldn’t even entertain the possibility of being okay, now he felt like he was pretty close.

He was having a private session today, just him and his therapist. Clint was out in the waiting room and Natasha was getting ready for their big day. Tony felt okay, he loved them very much, and he was working through everything. This was going to be an interesting day, though. Not just because they were going out to celebrate the anniversary of his adoption, but because he was going to see if he could do it without them.

Alongside treating his PTSD symptoms and trying to help him feel better, he was also gradually being exposed back to chairs. Tony still thought it was stupid. Of all the objects he could attach all of his trauma related fears and anxiety it had to be the most innocent of household furniture. Also, it was inconvenient. These things were everywhere. Luckily, he had come as far to be able to sit in it for a few minutes and still be aware and relatively calm. But that was always when his parents were around and he felt safe and protected. Tony was determined to last just a little while all on his own, completely vulnerable, just him in a chair. 

“We’ll begin whenever you’re ready.” Dr. Lafram said slowly. She gave a reassuring nod and stood up from her chair. “And remember, you only have to go for as long as you want. Your comfort is very important.”

“What? Yeah. Okay, I got this.” He mumbled, standing up and walking towards the now vacant seat. He kept reassuring himself that he was alright, if anything happened Clint was right outside and come help him.

He knew was a comfortable chair, cushioned and soft. Tony hesitated just a moment before sinking into it. The immediate feeling of unease hit him as soon as he sat down, it was familiar from all the other times he tried this. It was uncomfortable but not at all like the overwhelming sense of dread that was there when they first started out. It wasn’t as triggering as it used to be, he just breathed deeply and focused on everything else. The chair’s fabric was soft under his hands. Clint was right outside. Tony wanted to get Lucky one of those cute little dog sweaters for Christmas. He was in control and besides the sense of unease the gradually grew, he was calm and okay. Clint was right outside.

His hands were starting to shake slightly, but he wasn’t panicking yet. He continued to go over his small list of distractions in his head as he continued to remind himself that he was okay. No one was going to tie him up and he could get out of that chair whenever he wanted.

“I’m okay.” Tony whispered to himself. He hoped it would be enough reassurance to stop the way his stomach was beginning to tense up and his breath shook. “I’m fine. Safe.”

That was it though, he had to stand up. He had mixed feelings about it all when he shot up from the seat and frowned. Five minutes. He could go barely five minutes in a chair without his parents. Last week he went ten, but they were there to give him comfort and assure his safety. Tony was happy, just a little because it was an incredible improvement from a year ago when he could hardly stand being in the same room, let alone touching one. Yet there was still that small feeling of shame in realizing that he was emotionally incapable to handle chairs for five minutes alone.

“You did very well, Tony.” Dr. Lafram said, retaking her seat. 

“I can do better.” Tony said. “I will. Later. I just don’t know why it’s so hard. It’s a fucking chair. Normal people aren’t scared of furniture.”

“There is no such thing as normal, Tony.” She said. Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes as he sunk further back into the couch. “You have gone through some traumatic experiences, it is perfectly natural for you to be afraid with things you associate with those experiences. It’s your mind trying to protect you from more danger. That’s why it’s hard, we’re trying to convince your subconscious that there is nothing to fear.”

Tony sighed. “The subconscious sucks. I think I would much rather be a dog. They’re always happy and amazing.”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

~~~ 

“I can’t believe you wanted to come here of all places.” Clint said, glancing around the mostly empty building. Natasha had gotten the owners to clear the place, paying extra to have the rage to themselves.

“If I recall correctly then exactly one year ago you guys promised to take me to the shooting range like a normal happy family.” Tony said. He looked out at the targets that hung several yards away. “Also, you’ve been promising to teach me forever. Dad already showed me how to properly hold a gun. I don’t even want to know how many are hidden around our apartment.”

Clint chuckled as he slid a pair of headphones onto Tony’s head and put glasses on the boy. Tony frowned slightly, earning just another chuckle from his dad. He mumbles something about his hearing aids cutting out if noises were too loud and gave Tony a light pat on the back.

“Not as many guns as you would think.” He said, gently placing the gun in Tony’s hands and stepping back. Tony kept an eye on his lips as he spoke, not being able to hear but he had learned to read them decent enough. Just another habit taught to him by the father he hung out with too much. “Always point it downrange, never anywhere else. And no, it’s not loaded yet.”

“We have plenty of other weapons though. We’re never more than five feet from something that could be a potentially fatal piece of equipment.” Natasha said. They both watched Tony’s hands closely, ready to speak up if he held it wrong and didn’t put his hands and fingers where they were supposed to be. “Never point it at anyone, even if you’re certain it’s not loaded.”

“Why do I have such scary parents?” He said. 

Tony stood there for a few seconds, double checking his stance, where he was aiming, and the placement of his hands. Clint nodded at him. He took a deep breath and squeezed the trigger, smiling at the soft click the gun made.

“You’re not scared of us.” Natasha said. Tony smiled, because there was no chance he could be afraid of the two people who became his parents. “I actually think I’m quite loving and motherly.” Natasha said, taking the gun from his hands to load it.

“And I’m like the handsome father, rugged and smelling nice.” Clint said. Tony groaned and rolled his eyes. “But, you know, doting towards his beautiful wife and fantastic genius son.”

“I suppose you guys are a bit affectionate for spy assassins. Like yesterday when Steve got the whole team together to come out as bisexual and you guys just hugged him and made him cookies.” Tony said. Natasha handed him back the gun. There was a small moment of silence as they all looked intently at one another. Tony kept the gun pointing down range and the safety on. “The cookies were terrible, by the way. Not enough sugar. But Steve looked so damn relieved about everything I guess he probably didn’t notice.”

Tony returned to his stance. He held the gun up slowly as he aimed it at the targets. He pressed the safety off and took a deep breath. The gun jerked in his hands but he kept a firm grip on it, slowly taking his finger off the trigger. He hit the target, barely on the bottom left corner. He thought it was pretty good considering the target was yards away and this was only his second time firing a gun. The other time he was shooting at something a lot closer and he had panicked. He put it down and took off his headphones.

“I guess that’s not bad. Next time you can try to get it in the circles.” Clint said, smiling slightly.

“Yep, in the circles. Just gotta fire the bullet into the circles. The colorful circles on the target.” Tony muttered. Clint frowned and glanced over.

“You okay, kiddo?” He asked. Tony nodded.

“Just thinking about stuff. Things.” He said. Natasha’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Hopefully good things.” She said, pulling him back from the stalls and had him sit at one of the tables. “Let’s talk.”

Tony nodded. He didn’t feel upset like he normally would. He felt content, just a little bit.

“I’ve just been thinking about some old stuff. It’s just been a weird year. I think I’m different that I was when I met you guys. But like a good different. Better.” He said, looking down at the table. “I’m kinda happy. We have a nice place, a dog, a weird extended family that takes up half an apartment building, and one of my friends seemed to have decided to move in and everyone is just okay with it.”

They both smiled, Clint’s was wide enough to take up most of his face when he heard Tony say he was happy while Natasha’s was small and remained completely focused on the boy in front of her. She nodded for Tony to continue.

“I have great friends too. Rhodey had a week long break and he spent half of it with me, Happy is practically on guard duty as well and just hanging out, and Pepper, although I haven’t seen her in months even though we text a lot, she’s really nice and I guess I trust her. Things I seemed upset by a year ago just don’t seem to have much of a hold on me anymore. I think I’m doing pretty good.” Tony said. Natasha hugged him quickly, kissing the side of his forehead before moving over to give Clint a chance to hug him. “Great, you guys are hugging now.”

“Of course we are you big idiot. We love you.” Clint said. 

“So, I guess this means I can probably go off to college soon. It would be just like we talked about, I get better and can go off to school and get a degree and maybe take over the world.” Tony said. Clint chuckled and Natasha nodded. “Which means I should probably mention that I filled out one of those application things for MIT and might have gotten an acceptance letter in return. I can probably wait to go for a little while longer but-“

Tony found himself in another hug. They squeezed him tightly and whispered their congratulations, muttering about how proud they were.

He sunk into the hug. It was warm and welcoming and safe. That’s what he always felt when they hugged him. Safe.

“Of course you can go to MIT as soon as you’re ready. But of course we’re coming to Boston with you. I might be a bit overprotective but that’s not important.” Natasha said, kissing his head again.

“And I happen to love Boston. Plus, you’re still grounded forever so I need to be there to keep you in line.” Clint said.

Tony smiled, nodding along to everything they said. “Okay, you guys say something. Enough about me, what’s up with your lives? Can’t be about me all the time so tell me your secrets as I change the subject.”

“Well, Jane and I went shoe shopping and I got the most beautiful pair of red pumps. Also when I started giving self-defense lessons down at the YMCA on Thursdays when Clint takes you to therapy and then for ice cream.” Natasha said proudly. Clint beamed at her.

“Well, mine isn’t nearly as amazing as that. Can’t really say I’m teaching anyone anything.” Clint said. Tony frowned as he hesitated a minute before continuing. “Well, I started seeing a therapist. Apparently I have a lot of pent up anger alongside a tendency to overprotect my family and an inability to take a lot of things seriously. I think it's been doing me some good though. I'm calmer and more focused. I’m still awesome though.”

“Of course you’re still awesome, you loser. Why didn’t you tell me?” Tony said. Clint shrugged and smiled.

“I don’t know. It’s not that important and I just want you to be a selfish teenager and focus on yourself for a bit.” He said. Tony nodded and kicked likely at his father. “Let’s just have a family hug at how amazing everyone is and how things are starting to look up.”

Tony didn’t say anything as he was thrown into another family hug. He was happy. His mom was teaching people how to protect themselves, her level of skill must make criminals on the street tremble in fear, and his dad was taking time to focus on his own mental health. It was good. Weeks ago he was certain he was taking over their lives and everything was about him, but everyone was doing things for themselves and they were okay.

“Are you gonna keep shooting or did you just come here to fire one bullet?” Clint asked.

Tony laughed, shaking his head as he pealed himself out of the giant hug and back up to the stall. He pushed the glasses back up his nose and put the headphones over his ears as he gently picked up the gun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's out of the way. Everyone's happy. Lives are going good.  
> ......it's just wonderful......don't you think...  
> Comment, I love comments and if you do I promise to not make you wait another two weeks.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while, but it's longer than my usual chapters so I hope you guys like it. Had a rather difficult time with it but I'm pleased, hopefully you guys like it too. Also, just thought I would let you all know you're beautiful and Happy New Year.

Tony had been feeling better. He felt good and happy but that didn’t stop those tiny little dark and overwhelming thoughts from slipping up from time to time. It started with him second guessing himself, hiding away because he was certain all the progress everyone said he was making was a ruined and everything he was trying to get past would come rushing back. Tony would start to feel guilty.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered into his pillow as Natasha walked in to wake him up. He had been sleeping too long, he wasn’t allowed to do that anymore.

“Shh, it’s alright.” She murmured, leaning forward to kiss his head. Tony just buried his face deeper into his pillow. “You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Tony shook his head. He mumbled unintelligibly, didn’t even try to say anything that made sense. He assumed Natasha would either leave him alone, he was hoping for that, or bring him out of his room to be around other people. Instead she did neither, sat down next to him on the bed and carded her hand through his hair like she always did.

“I’m very proud of you. I hope you know that. Your father and I both are.” Natasha said, whispering softly to him.

The pit in his stomach grew larger slightly at her words. He should be happy, every kid wanted his parents to be proud of them. Tony rolled over and blinked up at her. Natasha looked entirely sincere, she was an incredibly good liar but Tony trusted her to be honest with him and most of the time she was, she’d always look him in the eye with a warm smile like she did now.

It just broke his heart more. If she really was proud of him he couldn’t think of a reason why. Tony sat up slowly and dropped his head onto her shoulder, shaking softly.

“No. I didn’t… I’m not…” Tony mumbled. Natasha wrapped her arms around him gently, one hand going up to return stroking his hair as she pulled him close. “Why?”

“Why are we proud of you?” Natasha asked. Tony nodded slowly and didn’t lift his head, just continued to lean into her. “Because we both love you very much, we’re your family. We see you every day and we see all the amazing things you do, whether it’s small are large. I’m proud of you for eating all of your vegetables at dinner, for engineering robotic prosthetics to be used by the public, for remembering to brush your teeth, for learning proper gun safety and shooting all the targets, and I am so proud of you for staying with us and doing everything you can every single day.”

Tony shook his head. “I didn’t do anything. It’s not important.” He said. 

“It is important, everything you do is important. So many people will get shiny new prosthetics that will give them a lot of the mobility they lost, you built Dummy from a box of scraps and he’s amazing and incredibly friendly and the whole team loves having him around, and you make me happy every single day. Clint’s definitely been happier since we got you, he started singing in the shower about a month after we all moved in together. You remember, you complained about how he screeched when trying to hit the high notes. He’s annoying but rather endearing.”

It was silent for a while, Natasha held Tony tight and let him continue to rest his head on her shoulder. She rubs his back in a slow, repeated motion and relaxes as she feels the tension drain from him. “The likelihood of us not being proud of you is so small it will never happen, because you’re incredible and I love you very much.”

Tony let out a single, muffled laugh. “You love me.”

“Yes. I love you very much.” Natasha said. “You evil genius, wiggled your way into my heart. Not a lot of people can do that.”

“Yeah.” Tony nodded, pulling away from her shoulder and smiling softly. “I’m just weirdly talented at doing things I’m not supposed to do.”

“Well, most people shouldn’t be able to win my affections.” She said, returning his smile. Natasha brushed his hair from his forehead. “You feeling up for breakfast.” Tony nodded, moving to stand up. “You also have to stop by the labs today to examine the final models of those needles you were working on.”

Tony hummed, a tired but agreeable sound. He would go, it was basically his job and he wanted to do it right, but he did not want to stay out long. He felt exhausted, it was still the morning and he just wanted to crawl back under the covers for at least a week. Never worked like that though, he was expected to get up and do stuff every day now.

“Come on, Happy’s coming with us.” Natasha said, lightly pushing him down the hall and towards the kitchen. “We can ask Jane too, if you want. You guys talk all the time about science, you’re friends. Why don’t you hang out and show her your lab where you do the science?”

“’The science’. Really, mom?” Tony sighed. “You hang out with dad too much.”

~~~ 

Happy gave Tony a piggyback ride into the building, Jane following behind happily as she admired the architecture. Tony didn’t mind being carried, he preferred it actually. It felt like he was running on too little sleep and if he was forced to walk it would be at a snail’s pace. They would never get anywhere.

“Those guys there are theoretical physicists. Don’t know how they make the company money but, hey, it’s a science facility.” Tony said, pointing at the small group of scientists huddled around the snack machines.

“She’s cute.” Happy said. He stopped walking and looked over at the scientists. “Really cute. Name?”

Tony looked back at them, squeezing Happy’s shoulders for support as he shifted his weight. There were five physicists by the snack machine, two of them were female. He thought they were both nice looking so he had no idea which one Happy was talking about.

“The tall one is Denise and the short one is Mila.” Tony said. Happy nodded and continued to stare.

“I think I’m going to go get snacks. What room are you headed to?” He asked. 

Tony slid off of his back and looked over at Natasha. He knew where the room was, it was Dr. Hansen’s large lab. He had been there multiple times to drop off prototypes. He just never bothered to memorize the room number.

“B42, it’s in the basement.” She said. 

“Alright, see you there in about ten minutes.” Happy said. He took a step towards the snack machine, stopping when Natasha grabbed his arm. 

Natasha glanced between them quickly, frowning. “What’s the room number?” She asked. Happy looked back at Tony, who just shrugged.

“Seven.” Happy said confidently.

“Just seven?” Natasha sighed as Happy nodded. “Well, if we let you wander about by yourself we’ll never see you again. We’ll wait here while you attempt to flirt.”

“Nah, it’s no big deal. I’ll just get a twinkie from the machine, chit chat for a few minutes, and meet you guys in the basement. Can’t be so big that I’d get lost.” He shrugged. Tony rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know. It’s pretty big.” Tony said. “I once got lost looking for the restroom. It’s like a labyrinth.”

“I’ll stay here until you’re done and show you the way. Tony, you have an appointment to keep. Do you have your phone?” Tony pulled it out of his pocket and waved it around. Natasha nodded and continued. “You call me if anything happens. In fact, just call me in ten minutes if we’re not back by then and let me know you’re okay.”

Tony shifted from his weight from foot to foot as he looked down at the phone in his hand. He wasn’t expecting that, being left alone while his mom went off to make sure Happy wouldn’t get lost. It had been months since he was out of the apartment without one of his parents there, close by and always where he could see them. 

“Will you be okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine.” Tony said, nodding at his mother’s question. “Besides, it’ll be a great time to tell Jane about everything going on in the facility. No one gets bored of the science talk then.”

“Take care of him.” Natasha said, looking pointedly at Jane. 

Jane nodded, looping her arm through Tony’s and walking him over towards the stairs. She chatted quietly about the large windows in the lobby that let in the warm light and gave a wonderful view of the snow that had started covering the trees.

“Oh my god.” Tony said quickly. Jane stopped her rambling as they paused at the top of the stairs.

“What? What is it?” She said. She looked him over as her hand held tightly to his arm, ready to pull him away if necessary.

“It’s December. My parent’s anniversary is coming up.” Tony said, smiling at her. Jane relaxed, giving a relieved sigh and nodded. “What do you think I should get them.”

They continued on down the stairs. “Are you too old to make macaroni necklaces?” Jane asked. Tony groaned as she laughed. “Sorry, I probably shouldn’t joke at your expense. I’m sure whatever you get them would be amazing and they’d love it.”

“Yeah.” Tony sighed. “They would. They’re those kind of parents that are proud of you no matter what and would love a burnt piece of toast simply because I made it for them.”

They reached the bottom of the stairs and walked down the hallway. They heard muffled sounds of machinery and various conversations as they passed the numerous doors.

“That sounds nice.” Jane said. “They love you a lot.”

“I wish they would stop.” Tony let out a surprised gasp as Jane pulled him to a stop. She looked him over, frowning. “Like, not stop loving me. I just want them to stop being proud of literally everything. I don’t need them to be thrilled about me changing out of my pajamas, although it is nice I do want to be praised for doing important things.”

Jane shrugged. “They’ve been parents for a year and they’re getting into it. It’s probably like when couples have a baby and for a while they freak out over every little thing the kid does. Like the kid burped and they talk about it for half an hour.” She said. They continued on down the hall, more slowly than they did before but still a steady pace. “You’re still new in their lives, yet a vital part of it. Before they were like super awesome spies. The celebratory moments for them would have been completing missions and not getting shot. Let them celebrate the small things.”

Tony nodded. It made sense when she put it like that. Sometimes he hated being surrounded by so many smart people but not now. Right now he felt thankful. If he had a problem one of the wise smart people he is constantly surrounded by will solve it for him.

It still didn’t set right with him though. He understood why they were proud of him and praised him for the littlest things, it just didn’t feel like he deserved it. He wondered what reasons might be for it, whatever his therapist my say might be the cause for his feelings or activities to help him feel better. None of that mattered though. This wasn’t anything Tony would consider serious, just a strive to do bigger and better things in order to receive real approval.

“Ah Tony. Glad you could make it.” Aldrich Killian stood just inside the door and turned to look as Tony entered. He had been talking to two other, professionally dressed individuals. Tony frowned at him, he didn’t know he would be here.

“Well, you asked me to come and inspect the final product before use. Here I am.” Tony said, shrugging as he walked over to the work table where Dr. Hansen stood.

She gingerly held out the syringe to him as she frowned at the shiny metal table in front of them. It looked correct, Tony held it close as he examined all the parts and pieces. Everything was in working order. All they had to do was put a sterilized needle in and they could begin.

“Looks perfect. Good luck on your experiment, I know you worked hard on it.” Tony said. Maya seemed to deflate them.

“You should leave.” She said quickly, looking over towards the door. “Now.”

Tony frowned. Maybe she just wanted privacy for her work. He could understand that. He nodded and turned back towards the door. Killian was still talking with the others while Jane looked over some of the equipment in the corner.

“Come on Jane. Maybe we can get mom to let us get Starbucks on the drive home.” Tony barely got the words out before Killian stopped him in front of the door and threw an arm over his shoulder.

“Tony, you can’t leave yet. You’re a part of this, you should see it through.” He said. Tony froze under him. He pulled away slightly only to have the hand on his shoulder squeeze and hold him in place. “Have we ever told you about why the previous tests failed?”

Jane walked up slowly, eyeing everyone around as she reached for Tony’s hand. “I would love to hear that story, sir, but I really think my friend and I should leave.” Tony smiled, god bless this woman.

Killian didn’t let him go though, instead one of the people he had been talking to, a woman, walked up to Jane with a smile. She threw her arm around Jane’s waste in an almost nonthreatening manner and offered to show her how some of the machines in the corner worked.

Something was wrong, very wrong. Jane wasn’t distracted and when she shook her head and tried to walk closer to Tony she was pulled back by the woman standing next to her. Tony remained frozen, sliding his hand down his metal arm slowly.

“You see, we have been trying to perfect the serum for years. It was supposed to try to replicate Erikson’s serum from Project Rebirth, the one that created the iconic Captain America. The regeneration factor was excellent in all of our tests, injuries healing over and even growing back limbs.” Killian continued, ignoring Tony’s repeated attempts to pull away. Tony continued to slide his hand over his arm until he found the small indent in the seam, a very tiny switch tucked in where two pieces of metal met. “Of course there was one rather disappointing side effect. Increased body temperature, burning, fire, and it usually ended with the subjects exploding. Very disappointing.”

“Let him go, Aldrich. This isn’t what is supposed to happen.” Maya said, calling out form the work table that she stayed positioned near. “We came a long way from what we originally had planned. I let you use my serum, I let you stage the explosions as terrorist attacks, I let you blame everything on some make believe villain called ‘the Mandarin’, and I let you go too far with this but I think we’ve had enough. Stop now.”

Tony took the distraction to swing his arm up and send a blast of energy towards Killian, hoping it would knock him away. He hadn’t activated the repulsor he installed in his palm before now and tested it only a few times. It was supposed to be non-lethal and just a way to get people away from him in purely self-defense actions.

It worked perfectly. Too bad the man standing next to Killian yanked his arm to the side before the blast was sent out. Killian’s hold on him tightened quickly as he through his free arm around Tony’s chest and held him still. The other man just stood there for a second, the skin around his neck started to glow a bright red color as he held a hand to his chest, where Tony had fired his shot.

“Hey, let him go!” Jane yelled out. She was quickly held back, kicking as her shouting grew louder. She stared in horror as Tony was pulled to Killian’s chest and slowly dragged over the work table Dr. Hansen still stood by. “You are making a big mistake, pal. You know who’s in the building? Natasha Fucking Romanov, she’s going to kill you when she gets down here.”

Killian didn’t bat an eye at her shouts or threats, just kept walking towards the vials laid out on the table. “As you can imagine, it was rather hard finding volunteers after most of them exploded. Most people don’t want to blow up. So I thought to myself, how are we going to test it without volunteers? Go back to animal testing? I don’t think so.” He paused as they stopped in front of the table, Tony desperately trying to wiggle free but his arms were pinned down to his side. “Then I thought, who do we know that is not only injured enough that we could visibly observe the regeneration and also is very enthusiastic about science? You’re a perfect candidate, Tony. Do you volunteer?”

“Go fuck yourself.” He panted out, kicking his feet at the man.

“Thank you for volunteering. Not to worry, Dr. Hansen almost guarantees that this new version will cause rapid regeneration and will burn out of your system safely with little chance of erupting into a flaming inferno.” Killian said, nodding towards the man as he pushed Maya out of the way and picked up one of the vials.

“You are so screwed. Any minute now the Black Widow will burst in here and you’ll regret every decision you’ve ever made that led you to this moment.” Jane shouted.

“She might be a tad busy.” Killian said. “As you can probably guess, not all of the volunteers died. Although incredibly unstable, the serum did mutate them just enough to be useful. Now, I don’t think you’ll need this anymore.”

He tightened his grip across Tony’s chest as he slid his other hand up his shirt to rest lightly over the arc reactor. Tony’s hands went up to grip the arm holding him still, pulling desperately but with little effect. The click that came with the reactor’s release seemed louder than usual, bringing on a wave of fear and silence. He froze as he watch Killian pull it out and hold it in front of him.

“Well, isn’t that beautiful.” He muttered.

Killian nodded at the man standing next to him, holding the syringe Tony designed. He grabbed Tony by the hair to hold his head still as he pressed the needle against his neck. At first Tony didn’t feel anything, just the growing fear as he was pushed over towards the strange man who just injected him with some mysterious chemical. He wrapped his arms around Tony in a tight, bruising embrace. Killian walked towards the door, still carrying the reactor.

Maya followed after him quickly while the other two stayed behind, still holding him and Jane captive. Tony could almost feel his heart beating faster as he watched the soft blue light slip out the door and a sharp, burning pain erupted across his entire body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I had fun writing that last scene. I thought it was exciting.  
> If I start taking too long to update again it's probably because I'm getting lazy. Come on my tumblr and yell at me, it'll get me working and I don't mind at all.  
> *shameless self-promotion: aceofultron.tumblr.com* *was whothefrickleisbucky but not anymore*  
> Comments, they mean a lot and are super motivating.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so beautiful and patient. I got this out as quickly as I could. At least it hasn't been a month, right? Changing up the point of view so yay.

Happy was busy trying to discretely compliment the women in front of him while Natasha leaned against the wall next to the snack machine. She observed the lobby as he rambled to two disinterested women, casually glancing at her watch.

Something wasn’t right. She knew it the moment Tony and Jane disappeared into the stairwell that led directly to the basement where the labs were kept. The guards all around the lobby were shifting uncomfortably, glancing too frequently at the door to the stairs and towards her. They all seemed tense. Something was very wrong. Or she was being paranoid, which happened.

Ten minutes passed. Tony should have called by now. That was the agreement, he would hurry along to the lab for his meeting and if she wasn’t down there yet he would call. It was for her sake mostly, she liked knowing he was okay. She had felt the anxiety growing with each passing minute but now time was up.

“Come on, Happy.” Natasha said, walking up behind him and pulling him away. “We have to get downstairs.”

Happy looked at her like he was about to protest but instead nodded, glancing between Natasha and his watch. It hadn’t been that long but Tony was expecting them to be there soon. Ever since he unofficially moved in, sleeping on the couch without complaint, Tony was social more. He stayed out of his room most of the day, playing video games or watching tv with his friend and Natasha was grateful.

“He’s fine.” Happy said as he turned away from the women he was previously talking to and followed her towards the stairs. “He’s smart, tough. I’m sure there is nothing-“

“Quiet.” She said quickly. “Something is very wrong. Tony promised he would call after ten minutes, it’s been thirteen. He knows I worry about him and he’s not the kind of boy who would ignore that and make it worse. Also, something has the guards on edge.”

Natasha kept walking steadily towards the door to the stairwell, taking note of Happy’s silence and several people slowly walking up to stop her from reaching the door. She held back her desire to push them out of her way and stopped.

“We’re sorry, ma’am. The basement is closed for renovation.” One of them said. Natasha glared at them, keeping her face calm and her body relaxed. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if she just started attacking people inside of a science facility. If Clint were here they would probably already be halfway down the stairs, she wished he were here.

She nodded and turned around, walking down a hallway several feet away from the stairs she needed to get down. They lied to her. She knew there were no renovations, she saw Tony go down those stairs herself. Happy followed behind her quickly, radiating tension.

“Call Clint.” She said, continuing forward. “Tell him to get down here, something is happening.”

“I thought he had a restraining order.” Happy muttered, pulling out his phone.

“Are we on the assumption that he has never broken the law before?” Natasha said. “Just tell him to bring… everyone. Bring everyone because we’re going to tear this place apart.”

Natasha knew where the other sets of stairs were, she had memorized the layout of the building. All she needed now was to get downstairs and get to her son. She heard Happy mumbling on his phone behind her and paused for just a moment when she saw another set of guards posted by the stairs.

Happy fell back, quickly talking to Clint with obvious apprehension. Natasha just calmly walked up to the guards and tried to slip past. When the pushed her back, she asked if she could get through to the stairs. They both shook their heads.

She hit the larger one first, dazing him and sending him stumbling to the side just before jabbing her elbow into the smaller one’s nose. She didn’t expect them to be down long, they were hard blows but entirely nonlethal and they would be up again in a few seconds. Natasha also didn’t expect to be knocked several feet away when she tried to kick one of them in the head.

It wasn’t a problem though, she was certain she could have handled it if not for the fire slowly spreading over their bodies. They stood up slowly, skin glowing. She quickly threw Happy into an open door a few feet away as flaming objects started to soar their way.

“Are they on fire?” Happy asked as Natasha slammed the door closed. “Oh my god there are people on fire. I was not expecting this.”

“They coming?” Natasha asked quickly, scanning the room for anything useful. It was a conference room, she could probably beat them with one of the metal chairs sitting around the table but the guards attacking her being on fire might be a bigger problem than she was prepared for.

“Yes, they’re coming. They’re screaming and probably going way over the speed limit but Rogers says they’ll be here in about ten minutes.” Happy said quickly. Natasha sighed in relief, Clint was bringing Steve. “Do you have a plan?”

Natasha continued to scan the room, ignoring the loud banging on the door. They were still ten minutes out, even with Clint’s driving it was still too long and she wasn’t going to leave Tony alone for that long. But there nothing, she looked in every corner of the room and she could either hit them with her fists and get burnt or start swinging the chairs and have it throw her balance off with every swing.

“I’m working on it. I don’t usually fight people who glo-“ Natasha stopped, pushing Happy out of the way and against the wall as the ceiling broke apart and fell all around them.

Thor stood on the rubble and concrete, donning his battle armor and Mjolnir in hand. He looked around quickly before glaring at the two of them in the corner.

“Sometimes I forget you can fly. Glad you’re here.” Natasha said, looking up at the gaping hole in the ceiling.

“Where is Jane?” Thor said, his voice low and angry.

“Downstairs with Tony. They’re not letting us get to them, I need you to take out the guards.” She said as she pointed to the door. “They’re easy to make out, they glow and they spontaneously catch on fire.”

“Did you crash through three floors to get here?” Happy asked quickly, breathing heavily as he looked back and forth between hole and the god. “How did you even know we were here?”

“You called.” Thor said and threw his hammer towards the slightly smoldering door. It crashed through effortlessly, knocking back the guard standing in front of it.

Natasha nodded. “Okay, the plan. Thor, you keep the enemies distracted. I don’t know who they are or how they’re doing any of this but right now you’re the man to handle them. Happy, you stay here and hide until back up gets here. I’ll go get Tony and Jane.”

Thor burst out of the room, yelling loudly and hammer swinging. Natasha barely made it a step towards the door before Happy grabbed onto the hem of her shirt and followed. She looked back at him quickly, noting the stiff determination in his face and nodded. He wasn’t going to stay behind and hide, Natasha honestly didn’t expect him to.

Smoke filled the outside hall and she was hardly able to see several feet in front of her. No alarms rang. There was a quick flash of lightning several yards down the hall that illuminated the area just enough to see the door that lead to the stairwell and several smashed walls. Thor was a tank, in just the few seconds he had been fighting them he had led them down the hall and destroyed several walls.

Once they entered the stairwell, closing the door behind them quickly, the air cleared. They ran down the steps two at a time, not resting at the bottom when they reached the basement. Happy huffed slightly from exertion as the continued running down the halls, looking for the lab Tony was supposed to be in.

“You think they’re okay?” He said, still running behind her.

Natasha remained silent as she scanned each number on every door. She wanted to say ‘yes’, reassure the boy because Tony was okay. He had been in a lot of danger throughout his entire life and he had survived this long. He was fine.

She stopped for just a second once they found the room. She double checked the number and stared at the door, just for a single moment before bursting into the room. She did a quick scan, skimming over every object and every corner. 

Tony was curled up on the ground, trembling with his eyes squeezed shut. Jane held him gently in her with an arm under his shoulder, hovering over him as she pressed her hand against his face. Neither of them seemed to notice their entrance.

Two others stood in the corner of the room, heads snapping in their direction and rushing forward. Their skin began to glow like the ones she met upstairs. She wasn’t in the mood for more fire, not with Tony so close and obviously afraid and in pain. She rushed forward, grabbing the first thing she could lay her hands on and swinging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon, lovelies. I'm sorry I keep hurting Tony but it must be done.  
> Comment and I will love and admire you forever


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Posted this chapter without any notes, my apologies. I like talking to you guys.  
> A lot of great fics I'm subscribed to updated today and that put me in a writing mood. Got a lot done today.

As it turned out that the first thing she got her hands on was a fire extinguisher that had been sitting on a nearby countertop. It was convenient, not only was it heavy and carried its weight when it was swung into people’s faces but it also solved most of the fire problem.

The crunch it made when it slammed into the man’s face was the most satisfying sound she had ever heard.

“Natasha, the reactor’s gone!” Happy called out.

“What do you mean it’s gone?!” Natasha yelled. She sprayed foam from the fire extinguisher at the people in front of her started to glow red.

She glanced back quickly, Tony was still curled up on the ground. Happy had a hand curled under Tony’s head, supporting it as he held his other hand protectively over the small surface sticking up from Tony’s chest, the dark and empty casing for the arc reactor.

“Killian took it. I don’t know where he is.” Jane said. She held his wrist tightly as she looked around desperately.

Natasha swung the extinguisher again as they lunged at her. She hit harder, kicking them away when they came at her two at a time. They wouldn’t stay down, she needed help. Ten minutes, that’s what they said. She had to hold them off for until backup arrived.

“His temperature is rising rapidly. I don’t know.” Jane said quickly. She fingered his pulse, Tony’s hand hanging limply in hers. “They injected him with something. He’s in a lot of pain and he’s getting too hot.”

The fire extinguisher was nocked from her hands, rolling away too far from her research. Natasha did the first thing that came to her mind. She punched the closest one in the face. Their glowing, hot sking seared her hand as she landed punch after punch. She had a knife on her, hidden away in her boot. But they were too close, they’d attack again before she could reach it. Tony was too near, she couldn’t take that chance.

Natasha almost breathed a sigh of relief when the red, white, and blue blur of Steve’s shield shot through her vision and she quickly turned her attention to Tony. He was curled up tightly, trembling next to Jane and Happy.

“How long has he been without the reactor?” Natasha asked, dropping next to them. Tony seemed conscious, just in too much pain to do much but try not to move.

“Just a few minutes. Killian took it, injected Tony with the thing, and left.” Jane said quickly. 

Natasha could hear the fighting going on behind her, the familiar sounds of the shield smacking against flesh and the distant rumblings of Thor crashing down walls. Clint squeezed in next to Natasha, his hands coming up gently to stroke the sweaty hear off of Tony’s burning forehead. Tony leaned into the touch and rolled over to press against Clint and Natasha’s legs. 

“You’re gonna be okay, buddy.” Clint whispered. He looked up at Happy and Jane. “You guys are going to take him and get out of here. Tony has a spare reactor hidden under the floorboards in his room, you grab that and take off. We got safe houses all over the world and one in every major city in the US. Jarvis is wired in to Tony’s phone, you ask him for coordinates and he should give them to you. We’ll find you within the week.”

Happy nodded. Jane shook her head.

“Why are we leaving?” She asked quickly. “I don’t understand.”

“AIM is government funded, we don’t know who else is involved.” Natasha said quickly, grabbing Clint’s free hand. “The Avengers might be blamed for the attack, might not. Depends on how good AIM is at covering their tracks. Still, I don’t want my son to be brought into any of this. You take him and you hide and you wait for one of us to come get you. It’s not safe right now.”

“High fevers can be very serious. We’re talking organ damage, coma, seizures.” Jane said quickly, rubbing a hand over her face. “We need to take him to a hospital.”

“No hospitals.” Natasha said. “I want you to keep his temperature down, keep him safe.”

“I’m not a doctor.” Jane said. She kept a firm grip on Tony’s wrist, constant watch on his pulse. “I’m an astrophysicist. I study space!”

Natasha put a firm hand on Jane’s shoulder. She was yelling. At the moment what everyone needed was to stay calm and focused.

“I trust you.” She said. Jane paused, looking down at Tony and back at Natasha. “Get out of here, make sure you’re not followed, and wait for us to find you.”

Jane nodded and Happy lifted Tony into the air. Natasha watched them leave out of the door just as the fighting behind her quieted down. Cap stood over two unconscious forms.

“It’s hard to fight people who keep getting back up in a fiery inferno.” Steve said, dark scorch marks covering his shield. “Tony gonna be alright?”

Natasha nodded. “Yeah, we just have to get him out of the way and to safety.”

“Well, Bruce is helping with evacuating the building. Tony’ll get out.” Steve said. “Thor and I will engage hostiles, you two find Killian and get the arc reactor. It’s powerful technology and who knows what he plans to do with it.”

“Trust us, we’re going to take care of Killian.” Clint said. He stood up quickly, followed immediately by Natasha. They run out of the room and towards the nearest set of stairs. “You hurt your hand.”

Natasha glanced down, the knuckles along her fist were bright red, blisters dotting the skin. “Second degree at most. It’ll be fine, I can punch with my other hand.”

Clint nodded and dropped the subject. If Natasha said she was okay then she was okay. Their main concern was finding Killian. They didn’t even know if he was still in the building or not.

Natasha knew that look on Clint’s face, the fierceness in his eyes and firm set to his jaw. He was going to kill the man. Natasha wasn’t in the mood to stop him either. In fact, she actually felt like participating.

The problem with finding a man who hurt the son of two of the most deadly people on the planet and ran off with one of the most advanced energy sources in the world was that it was highly unlikely that he would stay close by.

There was also the issue of all the enemies still attack, burning through walls and trying their hardest to hold them back. They ran towards them, in various states of burning and glowing. They didn’t run into any of the scientists who worked in the building. Bruce’s efforts to evacuate were clearly going well. 

Also, they were incredibly unstable. They ran around, glowing with heat, and Clint would send an explosive arrow towards them. They were weaker than the ones he uses on large scale attacks, these were small, contained explosions. Or, they were supposed to be. They would land on an enemy and the arrow combined with the increased temperature of the target would cause the explosion to rip through the walls and down the halls. Apparently when their attackers were more than just fire and heat, they were walking bombs.

Natasha swung her fist around when someone grabbed her by the arm and turned her around. She put too much force behind it, knocking Dr. Hansen to the ground in one swift movement. She bent down and picked the scientist up off the ground, slamming her against the wall.

“You better talk.” Natasha said firmly. Maya shook her head.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t know he was going to do that until this morning. I tried to warn him, I told him to leave but it was too late.” Maya said quickly. Natasha stared firmly at her, silently waiting. “I joined AIM to help people, but it all got out of hand. I’m not even 100% sure it’ll work this time, we didn’t test it enough. It could burn through his system and kill him like the others, it could just be incredibly painful with no lasting effects, he could start spitting fire. It could work and his body will start regenerating itself. I don’t know.”

Clint walked up beside Natasha, eyeing the woman carefully. “She better start saying things I want to hear.”

Maya nodded. “He’s in his office by the lobby. I was sure he would take the reactor and go but he hasn’t.”

“If this is a trap we’re coming back for you.” Natasha said and released her hold on Dr. Hansen.

There were few enemies when they made it to the lobby. There was no one around, except for the fire trucks and small crowd of onlookers just outside. Clint ran into the office first.

Killian sat at his desk, feet propped up as he held the small reactor up to his face. He didn’t look over at them, completely disinterested in their arrival. Clint had his gun out instantly, barely holding back from shooting him right then.

“You two took longer than expected.” Killian said, smiling sharply at them.

“Put down the reactor.” Clint said.

“No.” Almost as fast as Killian said the one word a bullet tore through his shoulder. He flinched, dropping his feet to the ground and looking down at the slowly bleeding wound.

Then the skin began to glow, knitting itself together. Clint groaned as he dropped the gun grabbed an arrow from his quiver.

“This will be a big explosion, right?” Clint asked, carefully aiming towards Killian.

“Probably as big as all the others.” Natasha said, shrugging.

“So, it’ll probably destroy the reactor.” He said. Natasha nodded.

“We sent them after the spare. Tony’ll be okay.” She said calmly.

Clint let the arrow fly. Killian let out a breath of fire that flew across the room before the arrow got to him. The explosion was enough to send Clint and Natasha back a few steps. They glared at Killian who stood across the room, flames licking at his suit.

“So you breathe fire? Haven’t seen that yet.” Clint said. He grabbed another arrow and took careful aim. They all stood still for just a moment. 

Natasha could count several things that could happen. Thor or Steve could show up and use their superior strength to take out the man, gaining only minor injuries for a super soldier and an alien prince. Clint might manage to shoot him before Killian could stop it. Or they could all burn to death.

“You’re going to die here.” Aldrich said firmly. “That is the plan, of course. Give a potentially deadly virus to the kid, get all of the Avengers here, and take them out.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. Villains who monologue were probably the worst thing about her job. “How is that working out for you?” She asked.

“Splendidly, actually. Thor has been a bit of a problem, but certainly there are only so many explosions he can handle. The captain may be strong with enhanced healing but the same goes for him, he can’t prepare from one burn if he’s still healing from another. The hulk was never a problem, once you’re all dead Banner will just slink back to some hole in another country. And the two of you are just humans. Easy enough to get rid of.”

“So you’re planning on just killing off all of the Avengers?” Clint asked, still aiming his arrow at the man.

“Are you all still Avengers? You haven’t responded to any attacks in months.” Killian said coldly. He walked around his desk, walking slowly towards them. “Cities will be bombed, government officials will be killed, and the five of you just hide away in your apartments, playing house. I’m just doing what’s best for the world and if that causes a few explosions, a few bombings, a few deaths, then so be it. I just don’t want you all to be a problem for when you take a look around and decide to sto-“

Clint’s arrow made connected with the center of Killian’s chest. He was too close to them, the explosion quickly engulfing most of the room. Clint had grabbed Natasha just as he let the arrow fly, holding her close and shielding her from the blast. There was still enough force to knock them against the wall. Natasha flinched at the crunch her arm made against the wall.

They sat there for a few seconds, kneeling against the wall as Clint leaned into her protectively. Fire danced across the floor and up the walls. Killian was nowhere to be seen. Clint was breathing heavy in her ear as she moved to stand up, pulling him along behind her.

The lobby looked completely untouched. Clint continued to lean on her as they stumbled for the door. Bruce was waiting outside, relief washing over his face as they walked out. Thor stood just behind him, cape burned and tattered and he was covered in soot. Steve stumbled out just seconds after they did. He looked exhausted and red stains dotted his clothes from wounds that had already stopped bleeding.

Clint sat down on the sidewalk just a few feet from the building. He smiled up at Natasha and ran a hand through the singed hair on the back of his head. He grimaced at the movement.

“Lucky your backpack full of explosive arrows didn't go off from the fire.” Natasha said, dropping down behind him to access the damage. His shirt was burnt with large, scorched holes littering the fabric to reveal red skin underneath. His arms looked bad, red and shiny from the flames. “You didn’t wear the suit, it would have given you better protection.”

“Left in a hurry. No time to change.” He said, looking back at her and smiled. “Also, the arrows don’t become dangerous until you take them out of the quiver, Tony’s idea.”

Natasha looked up quickly at Bruce. “Is Tony okay? Did they get out?” She asked quickly.

Bruce visibly paled. “They got out. I saw them drive off. I was on the phone with Jane for a few minutes after they left.” He said. He paused, biting his lower lip. “The call cut out when they got back home. I haven’t been able to reach them since.”

Natasha stood up quickly. “What do you mean you haven’t been able to reach them?”

“I keep trying to call. No one is answering. Not Happy, not Jane, and not Tony. There’s nothing.” Bruce said.

“They’re okay. We told them to hide.” Clint said, nodding as he looked down at the ground. “They’re fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it. I worked hard but it's also late so feel free to point out typos I made in my sleep deprived writing.  
> Also, sorry if I continue to emotionally torture fictional characters.  
> Comment, what do you think is happening??


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. New Chapter. Getting back into the swing of writing again. Getting the motivation back. It's nice. Still in Natasha's pov, might be for a few more chapters but it's all good.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Natasha said, sitting up on her hospital bed as she glanced over to Clint. He sat on the bed just to her right, waving away the nurses hovering around him.

He looked up at her and smiled slightly as the nurses gingerly went to remove his shirt. “I just don’t need to be stuck here. ‘m fine.”

Natasha shook her head. “You say that now, after they pumped you full of pain pills.” She smiled when Clint whined softly and turned towards the doctor standing in front of him. “How is he?”

“He has second degree burns across his back and arms and there is a very high possibility of smoke inhalation. I want to keep him overnight.” The doctor said, eyeing Clint closely. “Just to make sure he gets enough oxygen and stays hydrated.”

“Not gonna happen.” Clint muttered. “Places to go, people to meet. I’m a busy man.”

“Clint.” Natasha said firmly. “You stay here and take care of yourself. I can handle this.”

He whined again, wincing as he moved his shoulders slightly. “That’s not fair. You were burned too.” He looked over to her. Natasha’s glare didn’t falter. “I’ve had a lot worse than this. Come on, I can’t just sit here when I don’t know where he is. I need to do this with you.”

“First of all, I have a small burn on one hand. Honestly, it’s not even the worst injury I ever sustained from punching someone in the face.” Natasha said, rolling her eyes. “Sure, the broken arm is a bit of an inconvenience but I can work around that.”

Clint continued to stare at her, biting at his lower lip. He was waiting, he knew she would either let him come along or start threatening him until he agreed to stay put. “I need to make sure.” He said.

Natasha hesitated a moment, staring deep into his desperate and worrying eyes. When she nodded Clint slacked in relief and silently let the nurses continue to poke at him.

The two of them had been to the ER many times over their years working together, it was almost routine. They were both quiet as their wounds were treated, Clint’s back was examined carefully, and Natasha went in to get x-rays. All the while making faces whenever a doctor tried to come in and describe what happened and tell them to be careful.

Steve smiled at them, walking up into the room and nodding towards the doctor. Clint waved away the nurses holding an oxygen mask and turned towards the captain, flinching at each pull on his back.

“How are you two holding up?” He asked. Natasha shrugged.

“We’ve been better.” Clint muttered. “But we’ve been worse too. Have you heard anything?”

“Bruce went to go check back at home but so far we haven’t heard from the three of them.” Steve said. He shook his head with a sigh. “But I’m hopeful. Happy’s a great kid and Tony’s very good friend so I trust him to make sure he’s okay. Jane is more than capable of getting him to safety and figuring out what’s wrong. He’s in good hands.”

Steve wasn’t convinced, Natasha could tell. He was worried and of course it was justifiable. Tony was injured and ran off to a safe house and they weren’t entirely sure which one it is. She didn’t know where her son was, let alone if he was – no, he was alright. They couldn’t go around assuming he wasn’t.

“After we get out of here I say we try New York and Philadelphia. They’re the closest major cities, he might just be there.” Clint said.

“Well, as soon as you’re discharged we’ll get going.” Steve said, frowning at Clint. “I can’t let you guys leave until you’ve had all of your injuries looked over.”

Clint sighed, nodding slowly. Natasha agreed. They couldn’t help Tony if they weren’t in a preferred physical state. If they were attacked again they could hardly run in the state they were in.

“How did you manage to shoot Killian? You weren’t able to the first time?” Natasha asked, recalling the long stream of fire that Aldrich breathed out when Clint tried to shoot him.

“He was monologuing. Just going on and on about his plan.” Clint said. She smiled, villains tended to do that. “He was distracted, I saw an opportunity, and I took it.”

“Good job, babe. Proud of you.” Natasha said, Clint chuckled.

The nurses rinsed down Clint’s back with cool, clean water before bandaging it gently. They put Natasha’s x-rays came back, it was a clean break. No surgery needed, just a cast. Steve stood by them as they waited, Thor sitting in the waiting room, guarding the doors in and out.

There was a tense silence between all of them. Now they were just patiently waiting to be released so they could begin their search. Finding Tony and making sure he was alive and safe was Natasha’s main priority. Jane being with him will just be an advantage to giving Thor double the motivation.

“Captain Rogers, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” A man said, walking into their room. Natasha didn’t like the look of him, dressed in a dark suite and had an air of serious professionalism about him. Clint tensed upon his entrance. “I’m Agent Beckett. I’m with the FBI.”

“What can we do for you?” Steve asked firmly, reaching out to shake the man’s hand.

“We’ve become interested in you and your teams involvement in the attack on the AIM facility today.” The agent said, eyeing Clint and Natasha closely.

“There wasn’t an attack on the facility, AIM was attacking us and our family.” Steve said. “We were just responding to that.”

Clint nodded quickly. “Our actions were entirely justified.”

The agent smiled, looking over to Clint. “That’s still to be decided. We don’t have all the answers. All we know for certain is that there was a very large attack on a government run facility and the Avengers were involved.” Agent Beckett said quickly. Steve frowned. “We’ll be conducting an investigation but we would also like to meet with the three of you for interviews very soon.”

“The three of us? Why?” Steve said, walking up to the agent. He towered over the man, but Beckett just continued to stare him down.

“For you, Captain? It has come to our attention that you have possibly been harboring a fugitive of the United States.” Beckett said. “An assassin known as the Winter Soldier. According to the SHIELD, and HYDRA, files Agent Romanoff over here had released onto the internet, the man is your old buddy, Bucky. Certainly you would try to help out a friend.”

Steve blinked. “You know as well as I do that Sergeant James Barnes was killed in action back in the war, it’s in the public records. Men don’t just come back from the dead.” He said slowly.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“What are you implying agent.” Steve said loudly.

“Enough boys! You’re both being children.” Natasha said. Steve nodded, stepping back from Beckett upon realizing how close he was to the man.

“Besides, I haven’t seen the Winter Soldier since the incident with the Hellicarriers.” Steve said.

Agent Beckett nodded. “We’ll see, we’ve sent a team to search your apartment.”

Steve frowned, turning back to Clint and Natasha. His body was tense, arms folded and back shaking. A team of FBI agents couldn’t take Bucky, they all knew it. If he attacked them they weren’t sure what they would do. Steve would never let them take Bucky, but in denying them that they would make an enemy of the US.

“Agent Barton, Agent Romanoff, we would also like to interview the two of you as well. We would like to discuss your son.” Agent Beckett said. Clint stood up quickly, holding in a screech of pain. Natasha knew Clint like she knew the beating of her own heart, the movement hurt him but he was angry and wouldn’t show it in front of that man.

“What about Tony do you want to discuss, _Beckett_?” Clint said, biting out the agent’s name.

“We’re just concerned about his safety.” Agent Beckett said calmly.

Natasha shook her head, moving to stand next to her husband. “He’s safest with us.”

“Is he? Since you met him he has been hospitalized numerous times for serious injuries, been involved in two kidnappings, and has been attacked more often than a teenagers should.” Agent Beckett said, his voice rising slightly. “He’s been admitted to the hospital more times with you than he has with his real parents.”

“We are his real parents!” Clint said quickly, clenching his fists. “And they never took him to the hospital. They beat him and they hurt him and then they just left him alone. They didn’t care about his health, we do.”

“Either way, we’re concerned for his safety. It might be more suitable for him to be put in a different home.” He said. Natasha put a hand on Clint’s shoulder, holding him back as he took a step towards the agent. “I expect to see the three of you tomorrow.”

With that he turned and left. Clint sat back down on his hospital bed and buried his head in Natasha’s shoulder. She brushed back his hair and hummed quietly.

“We have to find them.” Steve said, looking down at the floor. Natasha nodded. Steve would never let them arrest Bucky and she wasn’t going to let them take Tony. She fed him, stayed up with him when he couldn’t sleep, and worked so hard to get him to trust her, the team, and everyone else again. They may have to start over, getting Tony to feel safe, but she would be there for it. Even if they had to disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaaaaay. It's all going so good, everyone's in the hospital looking over their injuries and nothing bad happening at all.  
> Stay beautiful, my fabulous readers.  
> Comment, it gives me life.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just accidently posted this on the other story I'm doing and had a mini heart attack. Anyway, new chapter. Kinda short but it's all good. You all look beautiful today.

“Well shit.” Natasha said, watching the team of Fbi agents walk out the door to their apartment building. “I hate the FBI.”

After they drove away Steve rushed towards his apartment while Natasha stormed into her own, Clint walking carefully behind her. She didn’t wait for him as she rushed down the hall towards Tony’s room.

Everything was exactly the same, take out containers were still piled high in the trash can, Clint’s magazines were still thrown across the coffee table, half empty mugs of coffee still littered the counter. The worst thing was probably Tony’s room. Nothing had changed. The floorboards were still firmly in place and when she broke one of them free the spare arc reactor was still safely hidden.

“They haven’t been here. Tony didn’t get the reactor.” She said, turning around to face Clint at the doorway. His face visibly paled. “We have to go after them. We have to find them.”

He didn’t answer, she didn’t expect him to. She grabbed the spare reactor quickly and marched over to their bedroom. They had backpacks already prepared for if they needed to make an emergency escape. Tony’s was left untouched in the closet as she grabbed the other two. She shoved the reactor into her red pack and looked back at Clint. He was still standing in the hallway, frowning at the ground.

“You want me to carry your pack? Your back is pretty messed up.” She said. Clint’s head snapped up.

“Well, both of your hands are fucked up too.” He said quickly.

“You don’t carry backpacks with your hands. It’s literally in the name, they go on your back.” She said, rolling her eyes.

Clint frowned as he walked in and took his backpack. He nodded as he turned and walked down the hallway. Natasha sighed, everything was so very wrong. They should have been here, Jane and Happy should have showed up to the apartment hours ago and got Tony the reactor.

She shook her head quickly. She didn’t want to think about it. She just needed to find them all safe and alive. She picked up her pack, ignoring the sharp pain on her burned hand, and walked out to meet Clint in the living room.

“Bucky’s not here.” Steve said quickly, running into their apartment.

“Well, they probably didn’t take him. The building is still standing and we definitely saw those agents walk out of here. All alive.” Natasha said. She put down her bag and looked over to Clint. He was sitting quietly on the couch, his back stiff and unmoving, and he just held his head in his hands. “He’s skilled enough to get away. He probably just took off when he heard about the attack.”

“You think he went after Tony?” Steve asked. Natasha shrugged on her backpack and walked over to take Clint’s. He pulled it away from her reach. They all stood in silence for a few minutes before Steve nodded. “Yeah, he went after Tony. Buck loves Tony like he’s a protective older brother. He went looking for him.”

Steve spoke quickly before rushing out of the room and back towards his own apartment. Clint rubbed his palm over his face with a low sigh. When Natasha moved to sit next to him on their large couch he didn’t move a way, just looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes.

“He’s fine.” She said, taking his hand. “Like you said earlier, they’re all fine. Hiding out somewhere. Come on, it’s been less than a day. They couldn’t have gotten too far.”

“It’s been hours.” Clint sighed. “You know as well as I do that it only takes a few hours to leave the country. And that’s on our bad days.”

He frowned over to her, taking a slow and deep breath. Natasha shook her head. “Yeah, but we’re two highly trained agents whose job is to get in, do what we do, and disappear. Tony is a teenager who we taught to use three kinds of weapons and a handful of self-defense moves. He’s being accompanied by an Astrophysicist and his friend, who is barely an adult. They might even still be in the city.”

“They should have been here. They should have grabbed what they needed before taking off.” Clint said quickly. “What if we don’t find them in time? Tony needs that reactor. What if something happened to them? He wasn’t doing too good last time we saw him, what i-“

“Enough.” Natasha said. She grabbed Clint’s face gently, rubbing her thumbs along his cheeks. “They are all fine. Our family has been through a lot and nothing has ever managed to kill us and nothing is going to be able to pull it off this time. So pull yourself together and let’s go look for our boy.”

Clint hesitated, looking at their intertwined hands. “Yeah.” He said slowly and nodded his head. “Yeah, you’re right. They’re fine. We just gotta go find them.”

“Good, because I’m ready to go.” Steve said from the doorway. He was holding a dufflebag and shifted impatiently as he looked over at them. “We just gotta find them. Find them and we find Bucky. There is no way Bucky will let Tony get hurt, and that means he won’t let the rest of the get hurt either.”

“So it’s all settled then.” Natasha said. “I say we find a different car because lord knows ours will be tracked.”

“Like that’s a problem.” Clint said. He stood slowly, grimacing at his back’s change in position. “Is anyone under the impression none of us have stolen a car before? Don’t try to lie to me Steve, you lived through the Great Depression and the second World War.”

Steve frowned. “I never stole a car during the Depression!”

“No, but you’re not denying any involvement with car theft during the war.” Natasha said. She threw her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed Clint’s. He didn’t argue this time.

The street was empty, no pedestrians walked by and only a few cars every couple of minutes drove past. They looked at every car parked on the side of the street, looking for one that was both fast and unsuspicious. 

“Where are the others? Bruce and Thor not going to come?” Natasha asked, stopping in front of a shiny blue pickup truck.

“Bruce took off when he heard about the FBI, said he would meet up with us as soon as we’re in the clear.” Steve said as he turned to look down the street. No one was coming. “Thor said he was going to look at his and Jane’s old house.”

“Thor.” Clint muttered, looking down at the shoes. “We need Thor.”

“Of course we need Thor. He’s one of our heavy hitters and great at thinking on the spot when the battle calls for improvisation.” Steve said. “If we end up having to fight more people who shoot fire then Thor will be an advantage.”

Clint nodded quickly. “Yeah, I know. But he’s also from fucking space. He talks about Asgard all the time, there’s a guy there whose job is to literally just stare out into the stars because he can see everything. Maybe we can get Thor to convince him to tell him where Tony and everyone else are at.”

Natasha paused and looked over to him just before she pulled the truck’s door open and climbed in. Clint entered from the passenger side, careful not to press his back too hard into the seat, as Steve slid in next to him.

“That’s brilliant. I’m so happy I married you.” Natasha said. It was only a few seconds before the engine roared to life and they pulled out into the street. “Smart and hot, I lucked out in this marriage.”

Clint smiled but didn’t say anything. Steve leaned forward and looked between them.

“He’s right. We need Thor.” He said. Natasha nodded.

“Heading to Jane’s old place now.”

It didn’t take them long to reach the house. They had been there before on numerous occasions when the team would decide to get together and it was Thor’s turn to host the events. Jane had a large tv and Thor loved movies so there were no complaints.

The front door was wide open when they arrived. Steve was the least injured of them, he was out of the vehicle and rushed up the porch steps before Natasha could put the truck in park. She just decided to wait. Steve was focused, the leader, he would be better at explaining everything. It was only a few minutes before the two of them walked out the door. She rolled down the window as they walked up to the truck.

“I will do as you ask. Heimdall will know where your son has hidden and that will also lead me to Jane.” Thor said. He was still dressed in his armor and Mjolnir in hand. “Once I know where they are I will go to them quickly and alert you of their location.”

“Thanks, Thor. We appreciate it.” Natasha said. Thor nodded quickly.

“Do not fret, my friends. They are all too strong and far too stubborn to leave us for long.” Thor said. He took a few steps away from the truck and looked up to the sky. “Heimdall!” He yelled.

In a flash of light, Thor was gone. He left nothing behind but a large, circular pattern burnt into the grass.

“Wow.” Steve said. “You don’t see that every day.” He turned and got back into the truck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yass, chapter. No one knows if Tony's okay or not. No one knows what happened.  
> Except for me.  
> Comment, I hold Tony's fate in the palm of my hand.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, you're all fabulous. I have an exam tomorrow but instead of dying of worry I decided to finish up this chapter. I hope you're all thankful.

Clint sat on the bed in front of the tv, the same spot he had been in for the past three days. He was waiting, scanning every news channel for anything even slightly important. Nothing popped up except Steve, Natasha, and Clint’s pictures alongside numerous reports of their involvement with the attack on AIM and that they were wanted by the FBI.

Lucky was laid out across Clint’s lap, looking around their motel room quickly and whining every few minutes. They brought Dummy too, who at first had wheeled around the room with enthusiastic curiosity but now just stood continuously by the wall with its little camera face poking through the curtains to see if anyone was coming.

It missed Tony. They all missed Tony.

Steve was optimistic, certain they were all alive and well. He kept on repeating that if they found Tony they would find Bucky. ‘Good ol’ Bucky would never let anything happen to him. He’d knock down the Chrysler Building before he’d let Tony die.’ That’s what Steve had said almost every hour. It was strangely calming.

The small beep of Natasha’s emergency cell phone cut through their silence. All eyes were on the phone instantly, Steve even poked his wet head out of the bathroom. She took a deep breath as she picked it up off of the dresser.

“You better be Thor.” She said quickly.

There was a small pause. She was about to hang up when the person on the other end finally spoke. “Sorry.” Bruce said in a shamed whisper.

“Oh, no. It’s fine, Bruce.” Natasha said. Clint nodded and turned back to the tv and Steve went back into the bathroom to finish his shower. “How are you? You doing good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. However, there are agents all over your apartment. They’re tearing the place apart. Steve’s too.” Bruce said. Natasha sighed.

“Of course they are.” She said. “They won’t find anything though.”

“Yeah but I’ve gotta go.” Bruce said. Natasha nodded to herself, she had seen that coming. “There are people everywhere, I’ve been staying in my apartment, but it’s only a matter of time before someone recognizes me and then I have Ross to deal with. I may not be all over the news and being hunted by the FBI like you idiots but I don’t have SHIELD or Avenger protection anymore.”

“I understand completely. You know how to disappear, just find someplace safe and quiet.” Natasha said slowly. Clint looked over, frowning slightly. “And take care of yourself. We’re still a team and we’re still a family so I don’t want to have to break into any maximum security facilities or fight off aliens again to get you back safe and sound.”

It was sad. They all had a life together, they should be protecting each other. Now Bruce had to leave. She understood, but she didn’t like it. The first thing she needed to do was find Tony. When she found Tony she would work on getting the whole team back together again.

“I’ll be sure to keep off the radar and eat all of my vegetables, Agent Romanoff.” Bruce said, a hint of fondness in his tone. “You’ll be sure to call, won’t you? I know you can find me wherever I end up and I would like to know. When you find him.”

“Trust me, Dr. Banner, you’ll be the first person I call.” Natasha said.

They hung up after that. No goodbyes, no see you laters, just the promise to call and the knowledge that they won’t be apart for too long. They were a family now, she wasn’t going to let them slip through her fingers.

She sat down next to Clint on one of the beds. His head immediately fell down to her shoulder as he breathed in the scent of her perfume, burying his face in the fabric of her shirt. It was gentle, it was desperate, and it was so sad. Clint was devastated because no matter how many times he had said they were all okay, just hiding, Natasha knew he was absolutely terrified.

Natasha wasn’t as scared, she was angry. If she found Tony and he wasn’t in the exact condition he had been in when they left their apartment that day, then she would hunt down ever AIM agent in existence and kill them so slowly they would regret ever meeting her son. 

Steve finished his shower and put on a pair of sweats and an old stained t-shirt before collapsing onto the other bed. It was getting late. In the morning it would be the fourth day since Thor had left for Asgard.

“Come on, Dummy.” Clint said, patting his knee. The little robot pulled its head from the curtains and looked over to Clint quickly before going back to stare out the window.

Clint sighed and got up slowly, trying to hold in a groan of pain. He would have to have his bandages changed soon. His back was healing, slowly, but Natasha still wanted to keep it clean and not risk infection.

“I know buddy.” Clint said as he picked up the robot and carried it away from the window. Dummy whirred loudly and beeped in a way that almost sounded annoyed as it looked back towards the window it had been stationed at. “Yeah, I know. I miss him too but staring out the window all day every day isn’t going to make him come back. We’re going to go find him. And when we do he won’t be very happy with me if I let your batteries go to hell because we were all too focused on him.”

Dummy was a work of art. Natasha doesn’t know what Tony did to him to make him seem so alive, and she was fairly sure she wouldn’t understand of word if she asked, but Dummy was concerned for its creator and just looked downright disappointed when Clint plugged it into an outlet.

They were all getting settled to go to sleep. Steve was curled up on his bed, Dummy plugged in to charge, Lucky still laid across Clint’s legs, Clint was lying as still as possible so as not to irritate his back, and Natasha was on the bed next to him. 

They weren’t planning on getting much sleep, they had hardly slept at all the past few days. So when Natasha’s cell phone beeped again, no one was annoyed or awoken from some much needed rest. They all looked over at the phone once more.

“If this is Bruce again I’ll probably throw this phone into the wall and then have to go out and get a new one. I’m not particularly in the mood for that.” Natasha said firmly.

“Natasha, it is good to hear from you. I regret not contacting you all sooner.” She took a deep breath as she heard Thor’s voice threw the phone. Natasha sat up quickly in bed, flipping on the lamp on the bedside table. Clint got up too, staring at her eagerly.

“Is he alright? Did you find him? Where is he?” She said quickly. Clint nodded at each question.

Steve was already out of bed, grabbing a pair of jeans and running back into the bathroom. Clint got up too and looked for his dufflebag. No matter what Thor said, they were leaving. They had waited long enough for Thor to find Tony, if he hadn’t then they were going to start looking again as soon as possible. If he had, then they needed to be headed in Tony’s direction.

“He is in your great city of Chicago. Jane and Happy are quite well. Tony has not been as lucky.” Thor said solemnly. Natasha held her breath, clenching her fists slightly. Clint noticed. He stopped looking for his bag and just stared at her, shoulder slumped, breathing shallow, and the look in his eyes showed that he was about ready to beg and pray anyone out there to make everything okay again.

“Is he alive?” Natasha asked. Her voice didn’t shake, it was flat and emotionless.

“Yes, very.” Thor said. Natasha felt her whole body relax and she took a deep breath. She felt like crying. She wasn’t going to but she sure as hell wanted to.

“You should start with that, big guy. Jesus Christ.” She said. Clint seemed to relax too, only slightly as he continued his search. “What’s wrong?”

“He appears to be very ill and in a lot of pain. I do think your presence would be appreciated.” Thor said. There was movement in the background. Natasha couldn’t quite make it out but Thor was definitely with other people. They were talking quietly.

“Will be there in the morning.” Natasha said. It was an eleven hour drive from DC to Chicago when everything was going right. They hadn’t been very lucky lately but they were going to make it in six. Clint drove like a maniac when he was determined.

“Excellent! I shall see you all shortly.” Thor said. “Good luck on your journey.”

He hung up quickly. Thor sounded like he was in a hurry. If he was with Tony and he was badly hurt then she would want Thor to give her son most of his attention. She just wished she could have gotten an address first.

“He’s in Chicago.” Natasha said, jumping from the bed and grabbing her own dufflebag. “We have two places in Chicago, no one knows about them so we’ll just check them both.”

Clint hesitated before walking over to the outlet to grab Dummy. He was thinking, Natasha knew his thinking face.

“What is it?” She asked, throwing on a pair of jeans.

“Well, he might not be at one of the safe houses.” Clint said. Natasha frowned. Steve came rushing from the bathroom, fully dressed and packed. They were all ready to go.

“Where are they? I expect to be on the road as soon as I’m finished paying for the room.” Steve said quickly, digging through his bag for his wallet.

“Here’s the thing, if Tony’s hurt then they would be desperate for some help. They wouldn’t want to lock themselves away all by themselves.” Clint said. “They would look for someone who knows the area and would be willing to help them.”

Natasha nodded quickly. That made sense, Happy used to work in security so he would know that they would probably need extra help taking care of Tony if it was serious. “Do you have a point?” Natasha asked. “Where would they go?”

“I told you about my brother, Barney, right?” Clint asked. Natasha sighed, nodding. “He lives in Chicago.”

Natasha grabbed her bag and Clint’s, holding both of them with the arm she hadn’t broken, and turned to the door. “I guess it wasn’t the best way to meet his nephew but let’s hope they’re all doing okay.” She said quickly. Clint smiled, probably for the first time in days, and followed quickly. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, no I did not plan out this whole fic just to get Tony, Clint, and Barney to hang out together. The three Barton boys together and causing mischief is not something I have spent a good time thinking about.  
> Comment, it is a gift from the heavens. Please.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're gonna start with a small snippet from Tony's POV. See how he's doing and then bounce back to the others. It's late. Apparently the only time I get any writing done is late at night while I drink chocolate milk and listen to sad songs.

Tony was used to pain. He told his therapist as much when asked if he was afraid of being hurt again. The sad, angry looks that appeared on Clint and Natasha’s faces when he uttered the phrase was the main reason he never said it again. It was still very true though.

He was familiar with the way his arm ached some days, where the metal attached to flesh. Sometimes even the parts he no longer had hurt. His head pounded frequently, he accepted the tightness in his chest that often times made it feel like he couldn’t breathe, and he survived fifteen years with Howard. He was very much used to pain.

This was different though. It exploded in his chest and down his arms, circling his neck and face, and seemed to make his old scars burn. It was a brutal, invasive kind of pain that he felt running under his skin and in each crevice of his being.

Tony felt cold. Too cold. Like back when he was a kid and he told his teachers that the reason he wasn’t wearing his winter coat in the middle of January was because he forgot it. Every day. Tony hated being cold. He was in too much pain to both opening his eyes and look for a blanket. He just wanted to stay curled up around himself and try to forget it all. Tried to focus all his energy on ignoring the pain and think of anything else in the world.

Several voices drifted around him. One was very close to him, muttering comforting words and promises that he would be okay. Tony thought for a moment that it was Natasha but her voice didn’t sound quite right.

“Tony, your body temperature is incredibly high.” That didn’t make sense. He was freezing.

He rolled away from the hands that gently touched him and buried his head in the gentle cushioning that was now in front of him. He flinched when cold water was gently dabbed over his face and arms.

Tony tried to push himself deeper into the cushions, blocking their access to his skin and trying to find warmth in the soft fabric. It didn’t work, he was still cold but he was too tired to try to move and find something warm. Instead he just fell asleep again.

~~~ 

Natasha hadn’t met Barney. Didn’t know what to expect from Clint’s brother or if he was even willing to help. He could have slammed the door on Jane and Happy’s faces if they had brought Tony to him. He might just do the same to them.

Instead he just stood there with the door open. He looked a lot like Clint, but with red hair and small lines around the eyes. He didn’t look at all displeased to see them, just surprised. And relieved.

“About damn time you got here.” Barney said quickly as he pulled his brother into a hug. Clint hissed slightly at the slight pat on the back he received but didn’t comment on it.

“Please tell me he’s here.” Clint said, pulling away and glancing past the door.

Barney nodded and opened up the door wider, waving them inside. “Your kid and his friends showed up a few days ago. Looked like hell, the lot of them.” He said, a hint of stress brushing his tone.

Clint groaned when he saw Tony, curled up and asleep on the couch in nothing but a pair of basketball shorts. Jane sat next to him on the floor as she dabbed the bare skin of his back with a damp cloth, a bowl of ice water was just beside her. She looked up at them as they entered and immediately slumped into a fit of tears.

Natasha was immediately at her side, pulling her into a hug and laid a hand on Tony’s arm. Clint walked up quickly as well. Tony was glistening with sweat and the skin around his neck had a pink tint. His face was partially pressed into the couch cushions but his mouth and nose were visible. His chest rose and fell frequently. Alive. Tony was alive.

“I told you! I’m not a medical doctor.” Jane said quickly, pulling away from Natasha. “His fever is incredibly high. We’ve been trying to keep it down so nothing too serious happens but he freaks out whenever we touch him with anything cold. We tried to put him in lukewarm bath earlier and he punched Bucky in the face.”

Steve’s head snapped up from his spot at the door. “Bucky’s here?”

Jane looked over to him, nodding slowly. “He showed up yesterday. Seemed pretty pissed though.” She said. “You will not believe the week I’ve had. We never made it back to your place for the reactor, Happy’s been freaking out but I’m trying to hope for the best. We were being chased, can you believe that? We drove away from the science facility from hell and we’re being chased by violent fire breathing minions and so there’s no time for a pit stop at your place and we just speed away. You know how Tony and I were working on wormhole manipulation for extraplanetary travel? I was the science and Tony was the engineering. Well we were being chased and attacked so I figured what the hell let’s give it a shot. Went to the closest one I had discovered and used that little device Tony made me to test out, super convenient, fits on a keychain. And then it worked. Holy crap.”

There was a slight pause after Jane stopped her ramblings for a breath. Natasha blinked. “You took my son to another planet?” She asked calmly.

“She took your son to Vanaheim.” Thor said, walking through the door with a large bag of ice under one arm. Bucky followed in quickly behind him, carrying a brown paper grocery bag. “Lucky they had. A dear friend of mine, Hogun, lives on Vanaheim. He helped them find their way back.”

Steve rushed over to Bucky, pulling him into a firm hug and breathing a loud sigh of relief. Bucky reached up to pat his back lightly, mutter about how he took too long, and then pulled away to carry the bag to Jane. It was a small assortment of medical materials, Natasha frowned at them.

“So yeah, other planet. All was well. We got back quickly enough, popped up a few miles north of Chicago. Tony was still a bit coherent then and was muttering about meeting his dear ole Uncle Barney and gave us an address. He’s not conscious much anymore but when he is he’s either staring off at nothing or curled up in pain. He had a seizure a few days ago, I don’t know if it’s from his high fever or whatever they injected him with.” Jane said quickly, ripping through the paper bag until she pulled out several cold packs, squeezing them firmly and placing them under Tony’s arms. “His fever has been too high for too long. We can’t get him to eat or drink anything. I don’t know what to do.”

Natasha nodded quickly, waving Clint away. He should sit down, he needs to rest. He was still injured. She shook herself from that line of thought. Clint was fine, he could take care of himself, she needed to focus on Tony.

“Do you have a feeding tube?” She asked, resting her hand on Tony’s forehead. He was burning up. The most worrying thing was that Tony hadn’t moved a muscle from all the people talking, touching him, and usually he would have been awake and alert at the sound of people coming into the room. Something was very wrong. “His fever is high because it’s trying to fight off viruses, diseases, and whatever they put in him. He needs to stay hydrated, if he won’t eat or drink then we need to get it to him anyway.”

Jane shook her head. Natasha looked over to Bucky, who was holding Steve’s hand as he stared at all of them hovering around Tony. “Tell me what you need.” He said firmly.

“I need a Nasogastric Tube, a stethoscope, a-“ Natasha shook her head and sighed. “I’ll make you a list. I trust you to get everything.” Bucky nodded.

She smiled up at Clint, who had perched himself on the arm of the couch and stared down at their son. She wrote a quick list and handed it off to Bucky and Steve nodded to her before trailing along after him. It had been a long week, she was exhausted, angry, and just needed to make sure everyone in her family was okay.

Clint took her hand when she reached for him and she ran the other one through Tony’s greasy, tangled locks. Everything was wrong. Tony was too hot, still hadn’t moved. The only time she could remember him being this still was whenever they had to put him under while in the hospital, to keep him from hurting himself or from being in too much pain.

He should be moving, Tony was always moving. Even when he was slumped over on the couch determined not to do a thing all day he still waved his hands a bit when he spoke and he tapped his foot far too often and he squirmed from all the pent up energy. Tony was always moving, except for right now and that worried her.

“The young scholar will be alright.” Thor said softly. “He has been through much worse than this and survived. He is stubborn.”

Clint nodded quickly, not taking his eyes off of Tony. “Damn right he’s stubborn. Little punk will stay alive out of pure spite just because he knows someone out there wants him dead and he doesn’t want them to have the satisfaction.”

There is a soft snort from the corner of the room, immediately snapping Natasha’s attention. Barney sat in an arm chair by the wall, a newspaper and pen in hand. “Wonder where the kid learned that.”

Clint seemed to relax, a smile spreading across his features slightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the one who got shot and did just fine.”

“Yeah, and who shot me? You did you piece of shit.” Barney said, not bothering to look up from his paper.

The grip on Natasha’s hand tightened slightly. She looked back over to Clint, who was frowning deeply. “How was I supposed to know you got yourself a job as a guard for the place I was robbing?” Clint said quickly. “You know what, it was a long time ago and a lot has changed since then so stop holding it over my head. Look! I have a wife and kid now. Say hi.”

Barney nodded towards Natasha and glanced over to Tony, the edges of his lips tipping down slightly. “Your wife seems lovely. A SHIELD agent, right?” He asked slowly.

“Used to be.” Natasha muttered.

“Right, before everything went to hell in a handbasket. I bet you were pretty good though. Bet the two of you teamed up could invade the white house and kidnap the president. Not that you would want to, but you could.” Barney said, shrugging. Natasha smiled as he turned his gaze back to Clint. “Kid seems great too. He’s quiet, not too messy.”

Clint sighed, shaking his head. “He’s usually loud, full of energy, and rambling on about some science thing I don’t understand. You’ll love him, once we get him better.” He said, leaning slightly towards Tony’s sleeping form. “He’s going to be fine.”

“Of course. We just have to figure out what Extremis is doing to him and find out how to stop it.” Natasha said. “And keep him alive until we figure it all out.”

The tense silence fell over the room. Jane and Thor had moved over towards the small kitchenette on the far side of the room and sat at the island, Barney returned to his paper, and she and Clint just stared at Tony, almost afraid that if they look away then the steady rise and fall of his chest would stop.

“Where’s Happy?” Clint asked.

“He’s asleep, poor guy’s exhausted.” Jane called out. There was another small pause while Natasha bit at her lower lip.

“Wake him up.” She said quickly. Jane frowned over at her. “He might know something. He’s been spending a lot of time with Tony and if he got a look at the papers Tony was working on for AIM then he could probably save his life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end. Hopefully all goes well.  
> Also, I've decided not to write a part 3. At least not yet. I do have it partially planned but I would like a break and will probably start on it after Age of Ultron comes out so it won't be that long of a wait, if you guys want it at all. I'll finish this fic up first though.  
> Comment, I love them and I'm tired and exhausted and they will lift my spirits.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kinda short but it's the best I can do at the moment. Don't worry, I still love you all.

Tony still wasn’t moving much. He twitched every few minutes, his chest moved with each breath, but he was still lying on the couch. Natasha had put the spare arc reactor in its casing in Tony’s chest. She didn’t know how much damage the shrapnel had done the past few days but it was there now. All she could really do was hope for the best.

Bucky and Steve had gotten back in less than an hour, bringing back everything Natasha had asked for. Hooking Tony up to a feeding tube was easy enough, he didn’t even flinch when she inserted it. At least now he was getting nutrition and she knew he was getting hydrated enough.

“I told you, I have no idea what is happening.” Happy said, leaning against the back of the couch. “I don’t know much more about Extremis than you do.”

Natasha sighed loudly. They had been at this for a while. Happy didn’t know anything, Bucky didn’t know anything, and Jane didn’t know anything. They were the three people Tony talked to the most besides her and Clint. Something was happening to her kid and she was going to find out what.

Tony’s skin was glowing. A bright red color that filtered through his skin, running over and lighting up his scars, swirling around the connections at the reactor and the artificial arm. The light blue that had been spreading across his chest from the palladium poisoning was fading quickly, a soft bruising color left behind.

“What is happening to him?” Clint muttered next to her. He leaned against the cushions of the couch as he watched Tony carefully. His position was tense, struggling not to move his scorched back.

“I don’t know.” Natasha said. “Killian wanted to kill him. Tony’s still alive, that’s a miracle all by itself. We just have to keep him that way.”

“Keeping him alive isn’t going to take the pain away or wake him up.” Clint said sharply. “We have to figure out what they did so we can fix it.”

“Yeah but we don’t know what they did!” Natasha barked out. She was yelling, they both were. Everything was wrong and it was putting them on edge.

Tony was hurt, still in pain. She let this happen, she should have stayed with him. Natasha went over the list of things of things she could have done differently, everyone in the room was probably doing the same. She may have promised it before, but she failed. She wouldn’t do that again, she was going to protect Tony.

“What happened to people who were injected with Extremis before?” She asked.

Jane raised her hand, getting Natasha’s attention. She had been sitting at the kitchen island with Thor, keeping a constant pot of coffee going. “They became increasingly unstable until their bodies… erupted.”

Clint inhaled sharply, eyes darting up to scan over Tony. Natasha simply nodded. “What is it supposed to do?”

“Certainly their end game wasn’t to make human bombs.” Steve said.

“Healing.” Happy said. “They wanted to make a serum that made people heal faster, regenerate limbs, stuff like that.”

Steve frowned. Natasha shook her head. It sounded like Project Rebirth. Almost identical to the superhero serum Steve had only without the advanced strength. But Extremis hadn’t been successful yet, what’s the point of healing quickly if you’re eventually going to explode due the serums instability.

“What if it’s working?” Bucky asked. All eyes snapped to him instantly. No one said a word as Bucky fidgeted under all the attention. “He injected Tony with because he expected it to be another failure. What if it’s not?”

“You think it’s healing him?” Clint asked quickly. Bucky nodded.

Natasha looked back to Tony. He remained unmoving, whimpered every few minutes, and remained curled up tightly. It didn’t look like it was healing him at all, it looked like it was killing him slowly, painfully. Natasha shivered at the thought.

“If it’s healing him then why is he like this?” Clint said.

Silence again. Barney shifted in his seat, looking up from his paper. Clint looked over to him quickly. The two of them were having a quiet discussion, Natasha could tell. She had had enough with her husband to know when he was saying something without words.

“For fuck’s sake, the kid has a metal arm.” Barney burst out. “If his body is trying to heal then it has no room to do much of anything.”

“So… his body can’t regenerate itself because there are things in the way?” Happy asked, tilting his head to the side.

Clint’s head snapped up, grimacing as he moved to quickly. “Makes sense! His body knows there are parts missing and but they can’t regenerate because muscle and skin would have to heal over the metal.”

“Imagine the shrapnel. There are metal shards lodged in his chest.” Natasha muttered. “What if it’s healing up around it, only to be sliced back apart.” She shook her head quickly. Now was not the time to discuss such things. They had to fix it. “What do we do about it?”

“We can’t exactly take it all out!” Clint said quickly. “Tony’s needs the reactor! What if we’re wrong and we take it out and it kills him?”

“What if we leave it in and it kills him anyway!?” Natasha yelled. “We needed to find a substitute for the reactor anyway!” There was a loud groan from everyone in the apartment as Natasha sighed loudly.

They were arguing. That’s not what they needed to do right now. They needed to remain calm and aware. None of them were in any position to handle an attack if they were found or deal with any other distractions while they tried to help Tony.

“Okay. Let’s take it all out.” Clint said, voice barely rising above a whisper.

He had shrunk back down so he was once again hunched over next to the couch. He looked desperate and lost. Natasha hadn’t seen him look this broken since a year before, when Tony was lying in a hospital bed after his very dreadful stay with Justin Hammer and Obadiah Stane.

Bucky’s the one who broke the silence. “I thought you couldn’t find a surgeon who could remove the shrapnel safely.” He said firmly. “I’m not going to let you all kill him in some desperate attempt to make him better.”

A dark look settled over Bucky, his eyes set in determination and his muscles tensed in preparedness. If he ever looked like the cold assassin Hydra had created it would be at this moment. Steve leaned over quickly and whispered in his ear. Natasha couldn’t quite make out the words, but it calmed Bucky quickly.

“He’s going to be okay. Nothing has managed to kill him yet.” Clint said quietly. Natasha laid her hand to rest on his knee as he melted further into the side of the couch.

“We know a lot of great doctors and surgeons. They’re very good at what they do and they’re all very discrete.” Natasha said. “No hospitals, we won’t get arrested. If Barney is right then we’ll get it all out, the shrapnel, the reactor, even the arm, and then he’ll heal right up.”

She laid a hard glare at Barney, he just stared back quietly. Everything would be fine. 

“I want to be there.” Bucky said. “I have steady hands, I can follow orders. I want to stay there with him. If anything goes wrong then I can get him out quickly.”

Clint reached down and squeezed Natasha’s hand. She looked over to Steve, who nodded quickly.

“Alright. You can be there.” Natasha said. “We’ll find someone we trust.”

“I know a few guys.” Barney said. Clint looked up and glanced at his brother. They both nodded to each other. “I’ve been in the city a lot longer than you have, I know who to go to and who to trust.”

“Don’t fail me on this, Barn.” Clint said firmly. “This is more serious than anything I’ve ever needed from you before.”

Barney nodded. “Relax, your kid is important to you. I’m not going to put him in harm’s way.”

It was easier now. They had a plan, they knew what they were going to do. Natasha was breathing easier. This could help Tony, which was what they were all hoping, praying, for. If this worked then it would be a miracle. Natasha didn’t want to think of the alternative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it all goes well. It might. But it might not.  
> Comment, I love comments and they light up my life.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the final stretch. I hope you've liked the story so far. Also, I've decided not to write a part 3. After this one is finished it's going to be the end of this version of the Avenger's that I'm writing. Hopefully it has a memorable and wonderful ending.

The first thing that Tony became aware of once he woke up was that he was warm. It wasn’t the overwhelming cold that he had been experiencing that past few days. He was comfortable, relaxed, and with only a slight ache throughout his body. 

The second thing he became aware of was that someone was sleeping behind him, their back pressing lightly against his. It was Natasha, Tony could tell without even opening his eyes and turning around. The familiar warmth and shape of her torso pressed against his and he could just make out the small movement of her breathing. It was a nice feeling to wake up to. He felt safe.

The third thing he noticed was something up his nose and an object down his throat almost making him want to gag. He reached up to tap at the small tube going up one nostril and pulling it out. It was long and the movement he felt at the back of his throat was sickening. He squinted at it when it finally came out. A feeding tube?

What he noticed next was rather startling. He had brought his arm up to wipe a hand over his sweaty face and brush the hair from his eyes. Tony almost didn’t notice, but he could tell something was off. The soft pink skin looked normal and healthy but it didn’t seem quite right.

Tony almost jumped up when he realized what was wrong. It was skin. This was his left arm, it should be metal. It wasn’t though, it was flesh and blood and everything he once had. The three small freckles that had once been on the back of his and was right there, staring back at him. It felt wrong.

His first thoughts were that it was all a dream. He remembered the pain of when it was healing, he remembered the sensations of his mechanical arm, and everything that had happened the past few months. If it was all a dream then it had given him the sensation of extreme pain and lasted a lot longer than he thought possible.

Tony slipped off the couch he had apparently been sleeping on, trying not to disturb anyone. Natasha woke up at the slight movement. She rolled over to look at him and then smiled softly.

“You’re awake.” She muttered sleepily. “Good. Don’t go anywhere.” 

Natasha turned her face into the pillow and fell back to sleep. Tony frowned at her, she looked exhausted. The dark circles under her eyes stood out against her unusually pale skin. That wasn’t good, not at all. Was she sick?

Tony stood up from the couch and almost tripped over the sleeping forms lying right on the floor. It was Steve, still sleeping deeply and hadn’t even moved when Tony’s foot collided on his calf. Bucky was sleeping too, half lying on top of Steve.

Bucky was here. That meant it all just wasn’t one big dream. If it was then they never would have found Bucky, never would have helped get his life back, and never would have fallen back in love with Steve. So if that happened, then why was his arm back? He reached up to tap his chest as he tiptoed silently around the two sleeping forms. He stopped and held his breath as his fingers tapped against his smooth chest.

The reactor was gone.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. Water, he needed a glass of water. It was a clear path to the small kitchenette and he rushed towards it. Tony didn’t bother to turn on any lights, he just went straight for the sink. He scooped handfuls of water into his mouth between heaving gasps.

“You alright, kid?”

Tony turned around quickly towards the voice. A man sat at the kitchen island. He couldn’t quite see him in the dark but Tony could make out the man’s outline, the mug he held in his hands, and a tangled mess of hair.

“Who are you?” Tony whispered quickly. “What did you do?”

“Relax. I didn’t do anything to you.” He said. “You don’t remember?”

Tony shook his head. “Who are you?”

“Barney Barton. Nice to officially meet you.” He said, standing up and holding out a hand. Tony looked down at his hands and fingers and wiggled them for a few seconds. It was still off, wrong. He had gotten used to the feeling of cold metal attached to the skin, the weight of the device pulling lightly at his upper arm and shoulder. It was all gone now. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember, you were definitely out of it most of the time.”

“Barney?” Tony asked. Clint had a brother named Barney. Tony had always been fascinated with the uncle he hadn’t met, learned his age, memorized his address for just in case, and got Clint to tell stories about the two of them all the time. “How did you get here?”

“I live here.” Barney said, smiling slightly. “You’re the one who showed up half conscious and being carried by your overprotective buddy and hysterical scientist friend. She yelled at me.”

“Jane did?” Tony said. He huffed a laugh when Barney nodded. “She’s passionate. If she was under pressure then she’ll do her best to get stuff done but yell at you if you’re in her way. I like her.”

“She’s great. I ran out of ice and she freaked out until I went and got more.” Barney said, waving a hand over to one of the stools at the island. Tony hesitated, looking the stool over carefully before nodding and sitting down. “She was pretty serious about keeping you alive and she did a great job.”

“I was dying?” Tony asked. He went back to tapping lightly at the soft flesh where the reactor should be.

Barney shook his head. “I don’t think you were dying. Just that your temperature was incredibly high and that could be dangerous.”

“I had a high fever?” Tony said, looking back down at himself. He noticed another thing. All he was wearing was a pair of boxers. Where were his clothes? “But I remember being cold.”

“I’m not an expert at these sort of things but apparently when your body is hot it makes everything else seem cold. You were angry about it too, trying to wiggle your way into blankets or pillows.” Barney said, chuckling softly. “You actually punched your friend in the face when we put you in a bath because it was probably really cold for you. It was just room temperature but whatever.”

“Happy? I punched Happy in the face.” Tony said quickly. Hopefully he didn’t his him with his metal arm, that thing was strong. Or maybe Tony didn’t have it anymore when it happened. “What happened to me? Where’s the reactor? What is wrong with my arm?”

Barney reached out slowly and patted Tony on the shoulder. “Uh, no. You punched your other friend. The one with the long brown hair.” He said. Tony sighed. He punched Bucky. That was bad. What if he was angry? “Practically everyone you know started showing up just after you did. Also, they said you were injected with something to make your limbs grow back so they took off the arm, the reactor, and pulled out the shrapnel. You healed up fine.”

Tony nodded slowly. That made sense. He remembered Killian and Extremis and then everything just became cold pain. “I am so confused.” He said.

“Your clothes are in a duffle bag in the bathroom. We had to keep you as cool as possible.” Barney said.

Tony shook his head. He figured as much. He had so many different questions. Where were the reactor and his arm? If it wasn’t attached to him anymore then it had to be somewhere. Was everyone here? He didn’t see Clint, Bruce, Thor, Jane, or Happy anywhere. Just Natasha, Steve, and Bucky so far. Why on Earth did he choose to come here?

He asked the man who was apparently his uncle and the answers he got filled in most of the gaps. He was awake for some of it. Tony didn’t remember.

The conversation lulled into a hesitant silence. Tony stroked his new, unusually soft and living arm as he stared at everyone still sleeping in the kitchen. He finally did see Clint, curled up on the floor by the door. Happy was stretched out on a recliner. When he asked, Barney told him that Thor and Jane were sharing his room. Bruce wasn’t here.

“He cares.” Barney said suddenly. Tony looked up at him. “Clint. I’ve never seen him so serious about anything before.”

“Of course he cares. He’s my dad.” Tony muttered.

“I know. Surprised the hell out of me when I found out.” Barney said, looking over to Clint as he continued to sleep in front of the exit. “He always said he never wanted to have kids.”

“I’ve heard. But I’m special.” Tony said. “Everyone wants me.”

Barney laughed and nodded slowly. “Yeah, but he was always so serious about it. Said he didn’t want to end up like our dad. He was terrified of that.” He said. Barney looked Tony over carefully. “He’s not, right?”

Tony blinked. Barney was staring at him with such a cold and calculating expression that Tony was just confused and slightly irritated. He couldn’t seriously be asking what Tony thought he was. “Clint’s never hit me. He never even yells. If we get into an argument it’s always pretty calm.”

Barney squinted at him, looking him over thoroughly before he nodded and stood up. “Good. That’s really good. Knew he’d be good at that whole parenting thing.” He said. Barney put his mug in the sink and walked towards the hallway. “Go back to sleep. You’ve had a long week.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Tony bonding with his uncle Barney.  
> We have about 6 more chapters left. Any ideas on what my happen in them??  
> Comment, please.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Five chapters left. I'll try to make them as amazing as possible. This has been fun, I've loved writing this story. Thank you all so much.

Tony just sat on the couch quietly. Everyone was awake and trying to give him enough peace and space as possible in the small apartment. Bucky and Steve huddled on the recliner, which was much too small for the two rather large men, as they whispered quietly and kissed lazily. Jane and Thor sat in the kitchen as they talked about moving back to New Mexico. Happy was hunched over the coffee table as he flipped through the channels on the small tv. Clint, Natasha, and Barney were sitting with him on the couch. Barney was on the end and Tony sat between his parents, no one sat too close or tried to touch him.

“I can’t believe Bruce left.” Tony said. They had given him the reactor and his now detached mechanical arm when he woke up that morning. He held them close, the reactor was blank and empty instead of shining its normal light blue and the arm just a hunk of metal. They were parts of him. The reactor had kept him alive and that arm was as real to him as his flesh one was. He went to sleep and when he woke up everything had changed.

“He made a choice, it was time for him to go.” Clint said. “He still loves you very much, we all do. You’re a wonderful kid. Things were just starting to make him uncomfortable so he decided to do what was best for him.”

Tony nodded. He didn’t think bad of Bruce, he was proud of him. He understood when things were getting out of hand and when to leave and Tony respected that. He just missed him. He was going to miss the whole team. They were all going to take off to opposite ends of the world and he didn’t know if he would ever see them again.

“Where will we go?” Tony asked. 

“We don’t know yet.” Natasha said. “Someplace far away, isolated. Yet I know you’ll still want internet access and actually be close to civilization so a cabin deep in the mountains is out of the questions.”

Tony chuckled, pulling his reactor close to his chest. “Maybe we can stay someplace that speaks English too. My Russian is pretty good but they’ll know I’m not a native speaker. It’ll be suspicious.”

“That is true. You have a habit of just combining different words to get across your meaning when you forget the actual word. You once called our old shed a ‘house for tools’. “ Natasha said. She looked out towards Steve and Bucky, who were silently caressing each other’s faces. “They’re so sickeningly adorable. Hey Cap, have you two figured out where you’re going to go yet?”

“We’re thinking about France.” Steve said, smiling brightly. “I know it’s weird, Captain America moving to Europe. But no one is expecting it so the FBI will have no idea where to look.”

“We should go to Canada.” Tony said. “You guys always promised to take me and I think Canada is just great. Let’s go.”

There was a small period of silence, no one spoke except for the characters on Happy’s tv show. Tony didn’t know what the show was about and didn’t both paying much attention. His parents were considering it, they started at each other as they had a quiet discussion. Eventually they nodded.

“Canada sounds great.” Clint said. “It’ll take us a few days to get ready to go, but we don’t see an issue with it. We’ll find a nice small town up north and settle down. Nat will think of our backstories. Are you against dyeing your hair?”

“Yes.” Tony said quickly. He liked his hair and he was very much against any further changes happening to his body right now.

Natasha reached over and gently ran her hand through his hair. It was good, calming. His head fell forward to rest on the cold metal of his former arm. Everything was wrong, they were a family and should all stick together. He was supposed to be safe and fine, not confused and lost and afraid. The government wanted to take his parents away, they wanted to arrest Bucky and Steve, and that terrified him. They were all separating.

“Tony, I have a question.” Clint said slowly. Tony looked up to him. “Do you want to come with us? I know you love us, we love you too very much. But it’s your choice here. The FBI thinks you’ll be safer with another family so if you choo-“

“You’re an idiot.” Tony said quickly. “I would rather be on the run with you guys then in some boring suburban family with a white picket fence and a dog and a minivan and regular PTA meetings. God, the very idea sounds really lame.”

Clint laughed and smiled widely. “Well, we do have a dog.”

“Yeah and he’s sleeping on my bed.” Barney said flatly. “If he pees in there I’m going to kill you.”

Tony sighed contently and curled up between his parents. The quiet conversations went on around him and he drowned them out as he looked back down at the reactor and his prosthetic. He had his flesh and blood arm back but it felt wrong, different. It was far too light and soft and it threw off his balance. The whole in his chest had healed over perfectly and it felt empty and wrong.

He closed his eyes and laid his head back to rest against the couch. He wanted to just pretend that everything was okay, everyone was here and he was safe and everything was as it should be. Natasha continued to stroke through his hair and everything was so calm and comfortable that he didn’t even notice falling asleep.

When he opened his eyes again he was sprawled out on the couch with his reactor and prosthetic still clutched tightly to his chest. It was certainly quieter. Jane and Thor were gone, Bucky and Steve were both fast asleep in the recliner, his parents were in the kitchen cooking, Barney wasn’t around, and Happy sat at his feet as he continued to watch tv.

He was warm, a blanket covering him and Tony was grateful. He had spent days with such a high fever that everything had been freezing and he hated it.

If anyone noticed that he had woken up they didn’t mention it. They all just went about their business and left him alone. He reached into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulled out his phone and immediately began scrolling through the internet.

“Should you really be doing that?” Happy asked, not looking away from the tv. Tony wasn’t sure how he knew what he was doing without even glancing towards him but decided that Happy needed to spend less time with his parents. “Can’t the government track your phone or whatever?”

“You’re too paranoid.” Tony muttered. “I designed and programed this phone myself. No one can track it unless I want them to. Besides, these are strange times. Gotta keep up with the social networks.”

“You need to keep up on social networks? Why? So all your followers know what it’s like to be on the run.” Happy asked.

“Yes. We need the people on our side. Besides, I’m verified on twitter.” Tony said, smiling. He sat up and dropped the reactor and prosthetic into his lap. “Most people on twitter are actually pretty supportive. We’re trending, #FreeAvengers.”

Tony’s smile dropped as he continued to scroll through his phone. He sighed slowly and Natasha walked over and leaned over the back of the couch.

“What is it?” She asked. Tony shrugged.

“Nothing.” He said. Natasha hummed and waited. “It really is nothing. Just a few people are tweeting me saying this is all my fault. That I made you guys attack AIM and run off from Government hearings and now because of me you guys are fugitives. They’re just calling me a few things, saying a few things.”

“Let me see that.” Natasha said quickly as she reached forward and took his phone. She scrolled through the tweets for several minutes, her frown deepening. “Well they’re certainly being rude. Clint, find these people.”

She handed Tony’s phone over to Clint and moved to sit down next to Tony. She pulled him into a hug and Tony melted against her.

“You guys don’t have to hunt them down. It’s fine.” He said slowly. “Besides, it’s all technically true. It is my fault. I got myself into trouble and you all did have to end up running to the rescue. I deserve it.”

“Tony, stop. You did not deserve to be called those things. You did not deserve any of that. You’re wonderful and amazing and we all love you and care about you.” She whispered, leaning over to kiss his forehead. “You were hurt and we came to help you. That’s what family does.”

“Yeah, but it’s still my fault and now you’re all hunted by the FBI.” Tony said. It was true, he was going to accept that. Because of him everyone had to take off and hide. His family was all fugitives now. Tony was sure all he had ever done was mess things up and get hurt every few months. His eyes widened at a sudden realization. “You guys missed your anniversary. See, that’s my fault too.”

He pulled back quickly and Natasha grabbed his hand. “We spent our anniversary looking for you. Our anniversary would have been shit without you there. Now we’re happy because we have you again.”

Tony nodded slowly. They’ve been saying the same thing for over a year, that they love him and wouldn’t want their lives any other way. “Be honest with me.” He said. Natasha nodded quickly. “Would you guys want me to go live with some other family?”

“Honestly, I would hate it.” Clint said, walking in from the kitchen. “I like being able to see you every day, making sure you’re okay. You’re my kid. If I wasn’t you dad I don’t know what I’d do.”

Natasha smiled. “As you can imagine I’m not what people would consider motherly. I used to kill people for a living, now I’m raising a kid.” She said. Tony waited. “But I’m having the time of my life. I love you and if I get to see you every day then I would be very happy with my life. I don’t want you to go anywhere, but it’s your choice.”

“I’ll stick around.” Tony said. “I love you guys too. But seriously, it really is all my fault.” He leaned back into the couch and looked back at the tv. Tony reached over quickly and stole the remote from Happy’s hands.

“No it’s not. And those people are all wrong. Don’t ever do anything like what they’re doing. Don’t ever go online and call people names or threaten them like that.” Natasha said, kissing his forehead one more time. Tony nodded slowly. “We’ll convince you that this isn’t your fault eventually. It’s all AIM’s fault. Get ready for dinner, we made goulash.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be finishing up the story and just try to make it a great ending you'll all enjoy.  
> Thank you so much for sticking with the series for this long. You're all amazing.  
> Comment, it's almost over.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, lovelies. Now that we're getting ready for the end I just wanted to let you all know how special and amazing you all are and how much you guys mean to me just by sticking with the story for so long.

“We’ll only be gone a few hours. You’ll stay here with Barney, Steve, and Bucky. Don’t go anywhere and stay with them, okay?” Clint said slowly. Tony nodded.

He felt terrible. Tony wanted to do nothing more than lay on the couch all day and watch tv. Barney sat at his feet, seeming to be fine with the whole plan. He even let Tony pick what they watched. Steve and Bucky were in the kitchen. Steve was making dinner and Bucky had gotten a how-to book on how to crochet little flowers. Tony was perfectly content with hanging out with the three of them for the day until his parents got back.

Jane and Thor had left for New Mexico earlier that morning. There were many tearful goodbyes and Thor had promised to ‘visit his comrades and his young scholar’ soon. Clint and Natasha were going to drop Happy off at the airport so he could go home to New York, they had set him up with a job in the newly rebuilt SHIELD. Then his parents were going to get everything prepared for when they ran off and hid in Canada.

Natasha gave him a kiss on the forehead and Clint hugged him tightly before they left. He loved his parents, they loved him, everything should be fine. But it wasn’t. It was all still his fault. Natasha had told him a few of the stories about how often she had to changer her name and her whole identity for missions and whenever she tried to start a new life, it was his fault she had to do that again. It was his fault the whole team, his whole family was separating to different countries. 

He had curled into his red blanket and stole another large fluffy one from Barney’s room and curled up on the couch. It was a familiar feeling, when his mood dipped down and he couldn’t find the energy or motivation to move. It was fine though, he knew it was happening and things would get better eventually.

“Do you always watch cartoons?” Barney asked. Tony nodded. There was nothing wrong with cartoons in his opinion. “You’re sixteen.”

“Yeah, I also wasn’t allowed to watch a lot of cartoons when I was a kid because my d- Howard always watched tv when he was home. He didn’t like it when I was in the way.” Tony said calmly. He hardly ever talked about his birth parents anymore. Clint and Natasha seemed more like his parents than Howard and Maria ever have but sometimes old habits of calling them ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ still slipped up.

Barney hummed slowly as he watched the colorful animation on the television screen. “Howard Stark, that’s his name?” He asked slowly.

“Yeah.” Tony said. He looked over to Barney. The man seemed bored as he watched the cartoon but Tony could see the tense lines on his face and his hands were clenched into fists. “Why?”

“No reason. Just want to make sure I got the name right.” Barney said.

“Don’t kill him.” Tony said. If Barney was anything like his dad he probably would kill Howard, Clint had put him in the hospital when he found Tony bruised and bloody when he came to check on him. Natasha had mentioned in passing that Barney used to be a super villain and was almost as skilled as Clint was, he very well could succeed in killing Howard. “He’s going to be in prison for about two more years so there’s really no point.”

“I didn’t say anything about killing him.” Barney said, amusement lacing his tone. He was implying it. Tony had seen Clint’s ‘I’m going to kill someone but be joking and lighthearted’ face a million times and now it was clearly visible on Barney’s face.

Tony smiled as he looked over at Barney. This man was his uncle and he had practically stated clear as day that he was going to murder Howard and Tony was starting to think that it was supposed to be a gift from the man. Tony didn’t feel the need to turn it down.

It was a bit morbid if he thought about it too much. He had spent most of his life in the same apartment as Howard, had seen him almost every day, and Tony felt nothing friendly or sympathetic towards the man. He still wasn’t so cold blooded he would just let Barney loose on him.

“Don’t kill him.” Tony said as he turned his attention back to the tv. “I’m not worth it.”

“I’m not doing it for you, kid. I can’t stand people who hurt kids.” Barney said quickly. “And don’t ever say you’re not worth something.”

Tony thought for a moment, contemplating everything Barney had said. “You like me.” He said. Barney snorted dismissively but that only made Tony smile more. “You like me, you can’t even deny it. I just don’t get why though.”

Barney sighed loudly and didn’t turn away from the tv. Tony figured it was the end of the conversation and laid his head back down on the couch, pulling the blankets up to cover his chin and embraced that warmth that surrounded him.

“I like you.” Barney said slowly. Neither of them looked at each other. “Clint’s my brother, you’re his kid. That might be why I like you. Or maybe I like you because you’re a piece of shit who steals my blankets and destroys my toaster and when you say you’re just fixing it. Or maybe I like you because you spent almost a week curled up unconscious and in pain on my couch and I was trying to figure out how to tell my brother his kid died and I could do nothing to stop it and then you survived.”

Tony didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t expect Barney to actually have reasons for liking him. Tony was familiar with people learning to like him but it always just seemed like an effect of spending too much time with him. People liking him came from familiarity, not actually because they enjoyed his presence.

“Well, I like you too.” Tony said. “Uncle Barney.”

“I don’t like that. Don’t ever call me Uncle Barney. Barney’s fine. Calling me ‘uncle’ seems too formal.” He said with a slight shake of the head.

“Or I could just call you by your name. Charles Bernard Barton.” Tony said, barely holding in a laugh.

“Who told you about that?” Barney’s attention snapped away from the tv and over to Tony. “It was Clint, wasn’t it?”

“Bernard.” Tony was laughing now.

Barney sighed loudly. “You stop that right now, Anthony.” He said quickly. He frowned as Tony shook his head. “What’s your middle name?”

“Edward. Use it all you want, calling me by my name has no effect on me.” Tony said. He sat up scooted in close to Barney. The man threw his arm across the back of the couch and smiled.

“Do you have to sit so close to me?” He asked.

“I’m a traumatized teenager, I need comfort and support from friends and family.” Tony said. “Relax, it’s not like I’m asking you to hold my hand while I cry.”

“I am neither of those things.” Barney said dismissively as he turned his attention back to the tv.

“Whatever, Uncle Barney.” Tony said. He was actually feeling slightly better. If anyone asked him to get off the couch and go somewhere he would probably turn them down and the overwhelming sense of guilt from this all being his fault was still there, but it was nice to actually just joke with someone instead of having everyone worry and fret and tell him it will all be okay.

He may have shifted slightly and leaned into Barney a bit more, earning a soft mutter from the man about his ‘tactile nephew’ but he didn’t push him away. Tony considered that a win.

The cartoons continued playing and the loud noises and flashes of rainbow color caught their attention. Episode after episode played and no one spoke for a long while. No one moved, except for Steve as he walked around the kitchenette and occasionally walked back into the living room to set out trays of snacks. Tony hadn’t felt hungry the past few days and didn’t eat any of them, but Barney hummed appreciatively at each bite. Bucky came in once, didn’t say anything as he gently grabbed Tony’s hand and dropped a little red crochet flower into it.

They were all just dealing with everything going on in their own little way, Steve liked to cook, Bucky liked to crotchet, and Tony liked to curl up in blankets and watch cartoons. Everyone was doing just fine.

When Clint and Natasha had finally came back they had fake passports for everyone, plane tickets out of the country, and an assortment of different tools and supplies. What surprised Tony the most was a small orange pill bottle that Clint pulled out.

Clint sat down on the coffee table across from Tony, looking between him and the bottle. “So, your mother and I definitely didn’t break into a pharmacy, but you’ve been off your medication or a little while and we picked it up for you, if you needed it.”

Tony looked over to the pill bottle, thinking deeply. His therapist said that if he stopped taking his medication all together it could cause serious problems but it had been a few weeks and generally he felt okay. He wasn’t feeling quite normal and not entirely okay, but not as bad as it had been.

He wasn’t going to lie to himself though, the whole reason he had been feeling good the weeks before the AIM attack was probably due to his course of treatment. The medication was a big part of that.

“Okay.” Tony said, nodding slowly. “Yeah, I’m not afraid of it. It helped.”

Clint smiled, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. Things were going to be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barney and Tony are bonding. I love family relationships.  
> Everyone's doing pretty good.  
> Comment, because I love you.


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters left. I'm sad to see this end. Thank you again (I'm probably going to say this a million times) for sticking around to read it and being such amazing people.

“Do you promise to behave?” Bucky asked, crouching down as he held Tony closely. “Do you promise not to run off and get hurt?”

Tony nodded quickly. Bucky and Steve were leaving for France, it felt wrong. They should stay, with him, and they could all get the rest of the team back together and they could be the happy family they should be. Steve and Barney were packing up to leave and would go to the airport soon. Natasha and Clint were waiting in the kitchen, whispering quietly.

“You have to say it.” Bucky said.

“I promise.” Tony whispered. 

“Good.” Bucky said, forcing a smile that was too large. “I expect you to still be in perfect condition when we see each other again.”

Tony pulled Bucky close and buried his face into the man’s shirt. It wasn’t fair. Bucky was his friend, one of his best friends, and now he had to leave because of the mess Tony got them all into. Steve had just gotten Bucky back and Bucky had just gotten his life back, now they had to run away because of him.

“I’m sorry.” Tony muttered.

“No, no. It’s not your fault, kiddo.” Bucky said quickly. “Mostly my fa-. HYDRA’s fault. It’s HYDRA’s fault. And AIM’s. And the government’s super ridiculous. Blame those guys but don’t ever blame yourself for us having to leave. Okay?”

Tony nodded. “Okay. But promise me you’ll be okay over there.”

“I promise.” Bucky said, smiling. “Nothing can hurt me, I have these crazy amazing skills so no one can even get close to hurting me. Also, Steve is a superhero. We’ll be fine.”

“You’ll write?” Tony asked. “Because if you don’t I’ll probably feel abandoned and moping like the world’s most handsome puppy.”

“Well, we couldn’t have that. I’ll write all the time.” Bucky said. “I’ll call too once we all establish solid covers and no one recognizes us. Learn French.”

“Okay. I will. Then we can just call all the time.” Tony said. Bucky nodded quickly. “Look out for Steve. He acts like the boss and pretends to know what he’s doing but he’s like a giant confused child.”

Bucky laughed and squeezed Tony’s shoulder gently. “Trust me, I know. I’ll look out for him.”

They hugged for a few more seconds before Steve announced that they were done packing their few belongings and were ready to leave. Barney started carrying the suitcases outside to his car and Bucky went to help. Tony wiped quickly at his eyes, desperately trying to hold it together at least long enough for them to leave. 

It wasn’t fair at all. Tony loved his family, however large and dysfunctional it was, and he wanted them all to stay together. They were probably never going to see each other again.

“I guess this is where we hug and promise to see each other again.” Steve said. Tony looked up and frowned at him. “Which we will. I’m Captain America, I can’t be in Europe for too long.”

Tony laughed, standing up quickly and wrapping his arms around Steve. It was a short hug, but firm and comforting and Tony was going to miss it.

“I’m going to miss you guys.” Tony muttered.

“I know.” Steve said. “We’re going to miss you too. You’ve been a great friend to Buck and I’m forever thankful for that. You’re a good kid, I’m glad to have met you.”

“Well, the first few weeks after we met were a bit hectic. I was terrible.” Tony said, smiling as he pulled away from Steve’s hug.

Steve shook his head quickly. “Nah, you were great. Especially after you moved in and let us all take care of you.” He said. “Make sure Clint showers and Natasha doesn’t threaten the neighbors. Or let her. One time she heard her neighbor catcall some poor girl and she went over there and threatened him with a knife. It was great. Just make sure neither of them kill anyone.”

He kept a gentle hold on Tony’s shoulder as he spoke. Tony nodded along with each suggestions. Making sure his parents stayed out of trouble was going to be difficult, but not impossible. They were both strange and unpredictable people. Sometimes they messed with people and it could be a bit annoying.

Tony remembered one time when they were still living in that house before HYDRA and AIM decided to ruin everything. Natasha would sneak into the neighbor’s back yard in the middle of the night and dyed their dog pink. Tony thought it was great. Clint thought it was hysterical.

“I’ll do my best, Cap.” Tony said. “Thanks for all you’ve done for me.”

Tony blinked and then they were hugging again. He curled his fingers into the fabric of Steve’s shirt and held him close.

“I love you, Tony. You’re family.” Steve said.

“Love you too, huge dork. You’ll like the cool uncle who sends his adorable nephew presents from other countries.” Tony said, quickly wiping away the few tears that fell.

Steve pulled back and nodded. “I can do that.”

When they left Tony just sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. Clint sat next to him, not speaking or really paying any attention to the tv he pretended to watch, but Tony was glad he was there. Natasha stayed in the kitchen, sitting at the island and drinking tea.

As one episode faded into another Tony ended up sprawled across the couch, his feet on Clint’s lap. Natasha had eventually joined them and Tony was using her lap as a pillow. None of them talked about how now the entire team was separated. No one mentioned how empty the apartment felt or how lonely they all were now. All three of them said nothing about their frequent worries about never seeing the whole team in one place again. They just silently watched colorful cartoon characters fight monsters and sing songs.

Tony eventually fell asleep. He dreamt that he was in a large desert, hot and tired and all alone. Explosions could be heard in the distance but when he looked around he couldn’t see anything but the rolling hills of sand. No one was around. No one was looking for him.

When he woke up the tv was off. He had his arms wrapped firmly around Natasha’s legs, holding her in place so she couldn’t leave. Tony stood up quickly and ran towards the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

It was horrible. Everyone was leaving him with promises that they would see each other again. It didn’t mean anything. They were all gone and sometimes life stops people from what they mean to do so there is no guarantee he will see any of them ever again. All because he was stupid enough to get himself into trouble so they had to attack AIM.

“Tony, are you okay in there?” Natasha called from the other side of the door.

Tony rubbed his hands over his face, desperately trying to brush away the tears that streaked his cheeks. “I’m fine.” He said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Natasha asked.

“No. I don’t want to talk about anything because I’m fine and everything is great.” He said quickly. 

“Tony, I’ve known you for quite a while and I know when you’re upset.” She said. Tony could hear her moving on the other side of the door and her voice moving closer to the ground. She was going to sit. That meant she wasn’t going to leave.

He shook his head even though he knew no one could see him. “It’s just you guys missed your first wedding anniversary because of me, I wake up and my body is different again after I spent so long getting used to my new arm and having a freaking electromagnet in my chest, and now everyone’s leaving and it’s not fair.”

“I know, sweetheart. It isn’t fair.” Natasha said slowly. “But Clint and I are still happily married and still in love and one day doesn’t mean anything, you’re alive and I am forever grateful for that, and no one is leaving forever. We’re a family even if we’re all miles apart. And your father and I will never leave you. We’ll always be right by your side for as long as you want us.”

Tony hesitated. He sat on the tiled floor and counted the rolls of toilet paper Barney had stacked in the corner. No matter how many times they told him it wasn’t his fault Tony still believed it was. He still thought their anniversary was ruined, still thought that his body changed without his permission too many times to be comfortable, and that with everyone gone life would suck just a bit more.

Eventually he went over to the door, unlocked it, and walked out and gave his mom a large, firm hug and vowed silently to himself that he would never let go. He trusted her. If she told him everything was okay between him and the team then he would listen until he started to believe it.

“Things will be okay.” She kept whispering to him. “You’ll see. We all love you. Just trust us enough to know that when we say everyone will get back together to believe it.”

“Okay.” Tony muttered. “But you and dad have to make up for your missed anniversary.”

“Deal.” Natasha said. “We’ll get dinner and throw bread at birds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky left. Now it's just Clint, Nat, and Tony who need to relocate and start a new life.  
> Tony is a cute baby who needs love and hugs.  
> Comment, please.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of you who have stuck with the story for as long as you have. We're nearing the end but the fact that you're all still here means so much.

They were leaving today. Barney was giving them his car and he was going to fly someplace safe while Clint, Natasha, and Tony drive up to Canada. They had to be careful though, deciding that flying wasn’t their best bet and how likely they are to be recognized. Natasha had cut her hair and dyed it blond, Clint had darkened his hair and had grown a short beard the past few weeks.

They had also cut Tony’s hair. His previously long and unkempt hair was now short and still disheveled. His former curls had turned into random patches of hair sticking up in different directions. It didn’t look that bad though, he looked just like a normal, messy haired kid.

They were getting ready to go, packing up their few remaining belongings and Natasha cutting off the cast on her wrist. It had been weeks since the incident with Killian, she said it had been long enough to get rid of the cast. Tony wasn’t sure what was used to cut it off, all he knew was that his mother went into the bathroom and came out some time later with her arm free and the cast in several pieces.

Clint’s back has also healed, the second degree burns had healed until it left nothing behind but slightly off-colored smooth skin. Tony was relieved, Clint whined more often than he did when he was injured.

“Are we ready to go?” Natasha asked as she circled the apartment one last time, looking for anything they had missed. “Tony, put that down.”

Tony frowned. “But Barney said I could have one of his swords as a going away present. Dad said it was okay.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at the scene in front of her. Barney and Clint were sitting on the couch, brother almost identical except for the shades of their hair and the different shapes of their eyes. Tony was sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by a pile of sharp blades.

“Well your father doesn’t know anything. Put that down.” Natasha said, shaking her head.

“Not even a small one?” Tony asked quickly, dropping the sword in his hands back into its sheath.

Clint glanced over and smiled. “What’s the problem? I had one when I was his age.”

“You killed people for money when you were his age.” Natasha deadpanned. 

Clint grunted and shook his head. “Well, so did you.” He muttered quietly. Tony smiled at both of them.

“If I promise to be a good kid and eat all my vegetables can I have one?” He asked. Natasha shook her head again. With a sigh Tony stood up and walked away from the assortment of weapons.

Instead he just sat down on the couch and sorted through his suitcase one last time. Most of his things were back at the old apartment, where they would certainly be arrested if they returned. He had his laptop, he had his AI program, he had his detached prosthetic and arc reactor, and he had Dummy. Everything else he owned could be replaced.

“Sorry, kid. Maybe they’ll let me get you a cool present for your birthday. I’m thinking a grappling hook.” Barney said as he looked at his watch.

“Oh, no.” Clint said quickly. “No grappling hooks, I’ve fallen off of too many of those things.”

Tony shook his head. He wasn’t allowed to have a sword, he wasn’t allowed to have a grappling hook, what was the point of living in a family of spies? Lucky was bouncing around the apartment. He was probably aware that they were getting ready to go on a trip and was excited.

Everyone was getting ready to go. After they drop Barney off at the airport they’ll drive across the border, new identities ready, and settle down somewhere remote. It was probably better this way. He’ll get to spend lazy days around the house with his parents and his dog and robots, he’ll be able to make new friends who would have no idea about where he came from or what his life was like, he’ll be normal.

At first he was just worried his parents weren’t prepared to take on such a boring lifestyle. But they actually seemed excited, talking about farmers markets and family friendly television programs. They were excited for the degree of normalcy they had never had. Tony had had it though, years ago in a little apartment in New York with the people who had given birth to him. It wasn’t nearly as special as they were expecting. Of course it would be different this time too. This time he would have Clint and Natasha and robots and dogs and no supervillains or evil organizations or any of that bad stuff. It would just be him and his family being normal.

They dropped Barney off at the airport first. Tony hugged him tightly.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He whispered in Tony’s ear.

“What wouldn’t you do?” Tony asked.

Barney laughed and ruffled his now much shorter hair. “I don’t know, kid. Not a lot.”

“Alright. Good luck where ever you go.” Tony said. He hadn’t known his uncle long, but he was sad to see him go. It was nice, the past few weeks.

Tony stayed in the car as Clint got out to have a quick talk with his brother. Tony didn’t know what it was about, but the two were smiling and shook hands before Barney walked into the airport.

“I don’t see why he couldn’t come with us.” Tony said.

Natasha shrugged from the front seat. “Well, he had to go anyway. A bunch of fugitives invaded his home, one of which happened to be his brother. It was only a matter of time before the FBI caught up with us.” She said calmly. “Besides, he and Clint don’t really have a history of getting along. They love each other, sure, but they always end up going their separate ways. We’re lucky he decided to give us his car.”

“He hinted that he was going to kill Howard, when he got out of prison.” Tony muttered, watching as Barney disappeared in the crowd.

Natasha chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Clint climbed back in without a word and they got back on the road. It was a quiet drive down the highway, cars and traffic lights speading by quietly. It was peaceful. Natasha hummed quietly behind the wheel and Clint drummed his fingers on the dashboard. Lucky curled up on Tony’s lap and fell asleep.

It was dark by the time they reached the border. They had no trouble getting through. No one recognized him. In all honesty, Tony didn’t think it would work, just simply changing a hairstyle and all of a sudden people don’t recognize the Avengers.

He supposed Clint and Natasha did know what they were doing. They were spies. They knew how to hide themselves.

Tony had fallen asleep, it was dark and the gentle rocking of the car had lulled him off to sleep. He woke up a few times over the night, just enough to blink awake and ask where they were. The answers were always the same, ‘north’ they said.

They were still driving in the morning, passing several different towns. They had stopped to fill up their gas tank a few times until they finally stopped in a small town for lunch. This was it, Clint had said.

“There’s nothing here.” Tony muttered. It was just a cluster of small buildings. Not a single structure rose higher than three stories. 

“It’s a small town.” Clint said. “It’ll be fun, I actually grew up in a town like this. Besides we found a house here last week.”

“It’s really nice, we got a big backyard. Excellent price too, since we need to be careful with our money right now.” Natasha said, taking a sip from her coffee cup and humming. “We’ve only been able to scrape together a couple million from our emergency funds.”

“Couple million.” Tony muttered.

It was weird thinking of that as a small amount of money, because it really wasn’t. Tony hadn’t grown up with all of that, but he had made that amount several times over with all the work he had been doing. He wasn’t sure what they would do now, the money they had could definitely last. He also couldn’t see either of his parents with day jobs. 

“We’re going to be okay.” Clint said, reaching a hand out and squeezing Tony’s shoulder. “We have a new life now, new names. We’re gonna send you to college and we’re going to live a nice happy suburban life.”

“That sounds so boring in comparison to all the aliens and monsters.” Tony said, smiling slightly.

It wouldn’t be so bad. They would be safe here, nothing would hurt them. Pretty soon, once things settled down he could see the rest of the team again. Everything would be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters left. Thank you so much.  
> You're all wonderful and fabulous and I love you!


	54. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. I meant to write more but things got busy and I wanted to wrap this up. Hopefully you like it.

Three years was a long time to be in hiding. It was full of fake names and forged paperwork. According to the world, Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton disappeared off the face of the earth, taking Tony Stark with them. The US government had been in an uproar, but no Avengers were ever arrested.

Things were quiet now, it was just past Tony’s nineteenth birthday and their covers were stable enough that the team came to visit often. They had gotten back to work too. More alien invasions, more monster attacks, more evil scientists trying to do something stupid and eventually the world forgot about all past grievances and was just pleased to have their heroes back, even though they would disappear as soon as the battle was over.

“Tony, you have a meeting in a few hours.” Pepper said, walking into the basement that held Tony’s workshop. 

“I know when my meetings are, Pep. I’ll be there.” Tony said, not looking up from his project. 

Three years and several college degrees under several different names and Tony had started his own software company. It was small, but steadily growing and making more profits than Tony knew what to do with. So he hired Pepper to figure that out.

“Will you shower for this meeting?” Pepper said, eyeing the large pile of metal laid across the table. “The investors weren’t very impressed when you showed up last week covered in motor oil and smelling like death.”

“Do you want me to shower?” Tony asked, sighing loudly. Pepper smiled and nodded. “Fine, I’ll shower. But you have to do all the paper work for the company’s health insurance policies.”

Pepper smile dropped from her face. “There’s only a lot of paper work because you wanted to give everyone you hire all the insurance available. I don’t think someone who works for a software company is going to need coverage for alien attacks.”

“Come on, we don’t have that many employees anyway. Alien attacks happen, I know.” Tony said. He picked up his screw driver and bent back over the table, poking the different pieces thoughtfully. “Please.”

Pepper sighed. “Fine. You play dirty.” Tony laughed with a shrug. “Remember. You have a meeting in three hours. If I find out you didn’t go or didn’t show up clean and dressed professionally, I’ll leave and take your company with me.”

“Scary.” Tony muttered. She nodded and turned to walk back up the stairs.

He returned his focus to his project. He still had time before the meeting. It wasn’t often Clint and Natasha left for an extended period of time that he was able to work on it. He glanced quickly at the detailed blueprints and lifted up one of the smaller pieces.

The news was on in the background, talking about some big attack in Cairo and how the Avengers swooped in to save the day. There were injuries though, not major ones but it still bothered him. He took the metal and slid it over his hand, smiling as the shiny plates hugged his skin gently.

The gauntlet moved easily, not straining his fingers as he tested it’s range of movement. He poked his screw driver to the repulsor in the center of the palm. An old design of his, but still affective.

He glanced back at the tv, a reporter was droning on and on about the destruction and injuries. The Avengers had vanished almost as quickly as they had appeared, no longer sticking around to release statements or help with cleanup. They came, they defeated the attackers, saved the day, and left before any government officials showed up.

Tony looked back down at the gauntlet in hand. “What do you think, Dummy?” He called out. The robot in the corner beeped twice. “Red a nice color?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. I really did mean to give this a better ending than what it got.  
> It's been a fantastic story and everyone who took the time to read this and leave feedback is fantastic and I love each of you.  
> Thank you.


End file.
